Fear of driving

Thank you, I hope it all works out for you as well!

Maybe we should drive together :P

I thought I was the only one. I'm really afraid of driving.

i am 54 yrs old and only got a permit at 18 yrs old, tried to drive, but for some reason, i can't think of more than 1 thing at a time. there is too much congestion on the road for me to understand whats going on and what to do. i tried to learn but it was impossible probably due to my mental illness.does anyone with any type of mental issue have the problem about not driving, i mean not being able to understand it and do it?

Hi avlady-

I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I understand what you mean--there is so much to pay attention to at once that it is information overload!!

I have to practice a route many many times before I even begin to feel comfortable.

CBT stands for cognitive behavioral therapy you can read up on it here:
CBT for Phobias - Cognitive Health Group

It has helped "expose" me to aspects of driving that I fear, but in manageable doses. I don't think you necessarily need a CBT therapist as many therapists can help with phobias. However, not all will get in the car with you due to liability reasons, so be sure to ask.

I think it was worth the money --with my insurance, he costs less than an actual drivinginstructor.

I sort of found my therapist by a fluke--I was just meeting with him to see what resources are in my city but I ended up seeing him instead.

Your medical doctor might be able to refer you to someone. Or, psychcentral's find a doctor pg.

I'm here again. I'm dealing with other things in this period, so I think that it's not my moment to go back driving (or to try). I wanted to say that I understand how it hurts when people minimize this problem or laugh about it, but I don't know what we could do about this thing.
I'm looking for a therapist...maybe she could help me also with this. Hope so. It would be a great thing.

Growlycat, thank you for breaking it down for me! I haven't been to a doctor or psychologist to get diagnosed with anything just yet but one time this primary doctor told me if I wanted to see one because I appeared to look "too nervous". But, that's something that's always run in my genes.

avlady mentioned something that I feel I can relate to as well. I think that's one thing that overwhelms me a lot too on the road is the fact that there is so much to pay attention to at once. Look at the light, pay attention to the cars, watch out for this ..do that ..go over here ..there .. oh man it drives me crazy

One thing my husband tells me to do that I feel has worked and someone mentioned it in this forum as well is to speak out loud while driving, repeating to yourself what will be your next move. When I am driving with my husband, which is 90% of the times..he's always telling me what to do what to look for, so I sort of got use to that. But, I find it that if I drive by myself and I tell myself, "look at the rear view window..put your signals to the right and now slowly switch to the next lane...now I'm going to wait until the light turns green etc etc" people may look at you like your nuts lol, but it feels more comforting as you're aware of what your next move is. Because sometimes if you let your mind wander off on its own there's just so much to input that it feels overwhelming

Beaflower, that's okay if you feel right now is not the right time do it when you feel comfortable. And you're right it hurts deeply when people just joke about it or see you as "slow" or uncapable of doing anything but a side of me says..you know what forget these people (even if it's someone close to you). One thing I try to keep in mind is, we can't do this for others we have to do it for ourselves to make ourselves proud and achieve it for our very own success.

I'm going to look into getting therapist as well, hopefully we're able to find one

Good luck with finding a t! I don't go exactly for this reason, but it would be good if it could have some effects also on this.

Thank you Beaflower, wishing you all the best

Last night, I drove my husband to his job then from there I drove to the mall and had to drive back home at night time.. I was feeling very anxious and I had two minor mistakes but overall did well, and there was a lot of traffic,lots of snow on the ground but I can't believe I did it by myself

That one mistake has become very common to me as it has happen before and where I live there is a lot of "one way lanes", I am going to explain it in case anyone has any advice towards it.

So, I am driving heading to a one way lane on the left side. My light is currently green there isn't a green arrow showing but it is still green and there is a sign that says "Left Turn Yield on Green"..
I start pulling up getting ready to take the left turn, but there is oncoming traffic and I let the cars pass by first and wait for a safe turn but as I am about to turn there is still one car heading towards me from the oncoming traffic so I got shook because I can't tell how fast he's going and if it is still a safe turn for me to go. I probably could have just speed up and take the turn but I froze instead. And I was already too far in for to go back. I stay there waiting for the car to come closer (mistake) thinking he's just going to drive forward but instead he stops (I am not sure if he is waiting for me to go or if his light turned red) so I am still there waiting as I notice he isn't moving, I proceed to make the turn but then he starts to drive forward and we sort of go back and forth as if we're telling each other "go ahead, no you go".. in the end, he shows me his hand and tells me to go so I took the left turn fast and continued on..

(Sorry I am very bad at explaining things especially when it comes to traffic)

This has happen to me before a lot, these one way lanes "yield on green" are so confusing at times especially when there is a lot of traffic. And I could just wait for my green arrow light to come on but people would rush you to make the turn when the light is green

Did I do wrong in staying there waiting and confusing the man? And should I have just drove real fast and took the turn rather than waiting for the car to speed up near me?

Here is a video that shows the position I was in


(The man in the video says to just drive on forward, of course he makes it looks easier than what it is at times.. there's times where you can drive fast and make the turn even when there is oncoming traffic.. and then there's times where you get shook because you see a car coming too fast and you're already half way in

You have been great Crystal! I would have never done anything similar; this is what makes me feel hopeless about driving; I just don't have this courage.
Hope that someone has a suggestion for you.

Thank you Beaflower!

You're not hopeless when it comes to driving, the courage is there and you can tell because you want to learn, you just have to believe in yourself. I use to refuse to drive no matter what, if I ever drive it's usually because I am being pushed to do it but it rarely comes out of me to do so, now a days I see it as something I must do but the fear is always still there

still green and there is a sign that says "Left Turn Yield on Green"..

We have a few of those here and I find them confusing. I'm still learning to judge if another car is going too fast for me to act. I think experience/time will help with this.

Thanks Crystal. I wonder if we can ever arrive to the point to drive without fear, like other people do. I could force myself to drive, but I don't like the idea that it has always to be a struggle

Growlycat, yeah that's my same problem! If the car is very far and I find that I have enough time to make the turn, I'll speed up and drive in but it's not always as simple as this. Sometimes there's one car far and another one heading faster and by the time that one passes the other one catches up I guess it's best to make a safe move or just wait for your green arrow :3

Beaflower, I wonder that a lot too. It's like you said, I can force myself to do it but there is always that feeling of fear there which plays mind games. I thought about "faking it till I make it", telling myself constantly each day that I love driving that it's a good and exciting thing to do and sort of the same mentality guys who love driving have until my mind believes it lol

I have an extreme driving phobia. I refuse to drive its one of the most horrific events of my life when I have to drive. When I get out onto the road I do ok despite going 5 mph under the speed limit but its still very nerve wrecking.

I understand how bad it is, and you did great in your situation! I probably would have froze in the middle of the street and screamed. I can never force myself to drive. So great job to you!

Thank you Bazoo!

It is verrry nerve wrecking! I actually did freeze and mentally screamed my guts out lol. As hard as it is to accept people are right when they say the best method is to continue practicing, sometimes I feel a little better the more I practice but the fear remains.
I also try to go 5 mph under the speed limit, I am constantly trying to find signs that state the speed limit just so I know I'm going under the rules which is sometimes difficult because everyone around me is just speeding away or looking at me wrong because I am going by the rules ..

I just found out I would be able to study in the summer term at my new school this is huge news for me because I haven't gone back in years. I was all excited and then it hits me, all the excitement goes out the window when I realize I will have to drive to school. I can take all of the classes online and continue to avoid it, but everyone says I should take at least one class in school to socialize more and get the hang of driving..I know they're right.I constantly complain about feeling like I am living inside of a bubble and now that I am finally free, I hesitate.

This school is about 25 mins away ..so nervous.. I have at least a month to practice my route until I feel comfortable (If I decide to take classes on campus for this term..). And sure, I can take public transportation although that would be a hassle as well because then it's double the anxiety, social anxiety and my driving phobia.

I really need to start getting out there more often.. it feels like I get anxious over the most important things in life ..

Congrats!!!

I hope you are able to drive to classes. Practice with someone first , then try halfway there on your own, then all the way (Over a number of weeks!!) Then practice the route every week until school starts.

Hope it goes well!!!

Thank you so much! I will keep that and mind! If I do end up taking classes on campus which will start on May, I'll have at least a month or so to practice, just hope all goes well

Try not to be too hard on yourself. I'm sure you can get over your fear. It will just take time. If you can get practice on some easy routes at quiet times (something regular would be good) and then build up from there, that could help. If your fears get in the way too much, you may also need some therapy to help with strategies for dealing with that.

Crystal, it's great that you'll go to school! I think that it's really better to take classes at school, if you can. And I think that, since you are already a bit 'trained' to driving, you can really do it. Practicing the route many times before is a very good idea. When it will become a known route it will be less scary.
You can really be proud of yourself, also just for considering doing this

My mom is 44 and won't drive very far without me, my step-dad, or one of my sisters in the car with her. She won't drive downtown in my state and she won't do highways I am not even sure if she knows how to drive on a highway. My point is driving fears are normal last weekend I had a panic attack on a stretch of highway I have drove for years it was the first time I had it. It was scary for me. I had to call my grandmother and have her talk me down from the attack. Don't be ashamed your not alone you just have to face it.

Wondering how you are all doing re: your driving phobias.

On my day off last Fri I drove to a part of town I'd never driven alone , all to go to our local aquarium. It was a relief to finally take another step towards defeating this phobia.