Anxiety Daily Check-In Point! #2

Anxiety is rising. I have chores that I can't physically do and it's upsetting me terribly. Plus the noise from the apartment below keeps booming up under my bed and making me feel like dying.

Well, after today at work.........I'm anxious- but not as much as being angry. I really think my stalker has showed up at my job, and of course, spread malicious things about me, "discrediting" me. Exact word he uses. He, doing puppet work from his puppet master G.
Inbred couple of freaks.

I don't know what makes me more mad. Him doing this freakishly weird ****.......or those who believe and participate/accept what he has to say.

I can honestly say, if I saw G; I know i'd lose control over myself and totally go for her throat.

Hmmmmm..... probably should check in under an anger thread. lol

Today is ok but when I think of things to get done in the future I get anxious. I try to just push it back.

Thinking of asking my doctor for a benzo. I've been therapy for almost a year and my anxiety is still unbearable!

Anxiety getting worse now. I'm so scared.

Anxiety really peaked during the staff meeting at 2pm. I really felt they were being gentle as can be, and not coming out right accusing me of missing too much work. But, we all know the discussion of work schedule requirements and leave requirements referred to that.
Too bad someone has sooo much time on their hands, they have to point fingers and micro manage. I think they need more work.

I was totally holding my breath and had the very tight face during the meeting.
When it was finally time to go home, I lost it and began to cry.

I quickly walked out and drove home.

Anxiety is gone- partly due to taking my lorazepam. Partly due to anger taking the place of the anxiety.

In a moderate SLE flare and wondering if that is keeping my anxiety level high. Also have been having flash backs which are definitely anxiety provoking. I've been coping with grounding exercises and when needed medication. I'm hoping it lessens as the day goes on.

Anxiety getting so much worse again. At first I should have known this would be a bad day because I smoked 3 cigarettes this morning. Out of the blue I just told myself to go ahead and smoke. Then I hoped I could recover from that but the neighbors turned their noise on and the thudding all day has worn me down and now I'm anxious and depressed. I just wish I could escape my life. Oh my God it feels like a prison sentence I will never get out of. But my life is getting shorter and shorter and I don't even care anymore. I have to live my life with ear plugs in. I don't want anymore of this. There's nothing to look forward to.

Felt less anxious today. Most folks were out of the office though. That had a lot to do with it. At the time we were walking out the door, I got a spike in insecurity/anxiety. But it went away away quickly.

Experienced a same childish situation today by one dickhead--he did the same thing they did at my other job. Not sure why they do that- it's so ****ing stupid. But this is the same dickhead that I think my stalker has talked to. Apparently they were or are both military. So they have this little inside secret joke they do. It's nothing more than psychological harassment, but at an adolescent mental level.
Only makes me lose respect for those who served. Because they behave that way towards another? Shame on them.

Anyways, anxiety is low now, because I'm home. And I'm alone with just my dog he makes me feel comfortable.

Feeling a building anxiousness. I have to go to a convention on Friday and I don't know where it is or anything about it yet. I'm hoping my boss will forget it I don't have to go.

The morning started off with mild anxiety but it's building and I hate that feeling. Very on edge. Having a hard time getting my morning started.

Here too, ditto. I have an appointment tomorrow and I'm terrified. The fear is in my legs too and they feel like jello.

Anxiety is high. It kicked in about 30 minutes ago. I know it's mostly because I'm depressed but also because I'm worrying about the future. All I can see are negatives. Stomach has that awful churning feeling I get when I'm anxious. I've already taken my klonopin and it hasn't done good. I don't know what to do next. It feels like it will never stop.

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Anxiety has gotten worse and worse. It went up sharply after I ate some mashed potatoes for supper. I can't catch my breath. I think I really will have to postpone the appointment again. I'm terrified.

Anxiety high again today. It started early this morning and even with the klonopin it's still high.

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Ugh. The morning was a nightmare because I'm on three days with insomnia. I finally got to sleep around 3 and woke up with paralyzing anxiety like I was going to throw up. On top of that the exhaustion made me weepy and crazy. Probably a good thing I had so much stuff to do so I couldn't dwell on it too much. The mornings are always the WORST for me. Today it was so bad that I took xanax. Hoping for a better day tomorrow. And hope you guys have a better one too

Going to a NP tomorrow about my anxiety and GERD. Anxious. It's an hour away. But this might be an appointment that changes my life for the best.

Anxiety got worse when I tried to walk around my apartment and only could make it twice. I'm leaning on the pillows on my bed constantly because I don't have a chair. I'm so anxious and afraid. I took hydroxyzine but it doesn't help much.

Not sure if yesterday was a moving blood clot or indigestion or something- but I had chest pain all day. I shared that with a co-worker. He said, "It could be result of a panic attack.....are you prone to panic attacks?" I said yes. But now wish i never would have said that.
I think people just mentally harass others once they know what causes them problems.

So now, I'm in a constant state of anxiety because I opened my big mouth.

Anxiety very bad. Feels like I'm all alone in the universe with everything bad that's going to happen to me waiting outside the door. I'm so scared. And what's wrong with my legs?

You may want to talk to your Psychiatrist about switching you to Vivance (not sure if that is how it is spelled exactly but it is close to that). I found Ritalin and Aderall made me feel very anxious and had a whiplash effect on the end of the effective periods. Vivance is much better and doesn't make me feel as anxious as other meds did.

Going to the doctor/NP today. Very nervous about that. Hoping for the best.

Anxiety has been really high today. I haven't been able to get much done. I see my pdoc next week and hope he can help me with the anxiety and depression. I'm to the point that I don't have much hope.

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Blasts of anxiety beginning around 10am today. Mixed with the usual grumpiness. Blasts of anxiety after 4pm- then couldn't stop laughing. My coworker was laughing AT me, I know....but I joined in and couldn't stop.