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  #51  
Old Sep 30, 2015, 03:06 PM
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Angelique67 Angelique67 is offline
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I feel weird, agitated and anxious but mainly agitated and depressed. All I want to do is sleep.

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  #52  
Old Sep 30, 2015, 03:45 PM
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I just clicked on something I shouldn't have clicked on and my anxiety spiked. My breathing is more like panting I'm trying to breath deep but I can't. Oh my God. Oh my God oh my God
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  #53  
Old Sep 30, 2015, 05:53 PM
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my anxiety level is high right now waiting for my therapist to call me back up tonight before I go to sleep tonight I see my therapist tomorrow afternoon





Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds : Cymbalta 90mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia
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  #54  
Old Oct 01, 2015, 10:46 AM
Nimitri Nimitri is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelique67 View Post
I just clicked on something I shouldn't have clicked on and my anxiety spiked. My breathing is more like panting I'm trying to breath deep but I can't. Oh my God. Oh my God oh my God
What did you clicked? Was a virus page? A download for a malicious site?
Thanks for this!
Angelique67
  #55  
Old Oct 01, 2015, 10:48 AM
Nimitri Nimitri is offline
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The mornings are the worst. In the night, when everything has passed, I feel almost numb and somewhat content, but I know and dread the next morning when the attack will come back. Mostly is palpitations and fear and I can barely eat, which is terrible for my diet.

I'm a little better today. I only got a few feelings to vomit, my back hurts barely and I only feel small pangs to cry.
  #56  
Old Oct 01, 2015, 10:50 AM
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Angelique67 Angelique67 is offline
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Originally Posted by Nimitri View Post
What did you clicked? Was a virus page? A download for a malicious site?
No, a picture that was disturbing.
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  #57  
Old Oct 01, 2015, 11:37 AM
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ScientiaOmnisEst ScientiaOmnisEst is offline
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So I don't have real anxiety, but this vent is better placed here than the depression forum. I'm a mess now, managed to set myself off. I was going to elaborate, but I think I'l find somewhere else....
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  #58  
Old Oct 01, 2015, 11:41 AM
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My anxiety is high today. I'm also restless. I need to be studying on medicare policies for my husband but can't concentrate on anything.

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  #59  
Old Oct 01, 2015, 12:43 PM
avlady avlady is offline
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i feel for you as i'm very anxious right now too, just sitting here in my cold house as i'm afraid to turn the furnace on for the first time this year, as i don't want to have it broken until i find out if everything is ok with it this year, when my husband gets home. i will pray for everyone's levels of anxiety to be lower!!!
  #60  
Old Oct 02, 2015, 09:26 AM
Nimitri Nimitri is offline
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I woke up fearfully. I feel agitated, sad, I want to jump to the walls and stay in bed and do more with my life and I'm so afraid and I want to be hugh but I feel guilty that I don't love me and I'm such a drain to my mother and I want to call to my therapist and talk and talk and talk and why I'm not alright already? Why I'm passing from the same crap I passed when I had my very first crisis 3 years ago? What was the point of my therapy and my medicine and ending my Bachelor degree if I still feel so afraid and impotent with life and I'm not enjoying what could be the best time of my life and I'm so ungrateful with all the people who had helped me and to myself for hurting me so much and I want it to stop, I want to stop fearing the mornings and my mind and the world
  #61  
Old Oct 02, 2015, 09:29 AM
Nimitri Nimitri is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelique67 View Post
No, a picture that was disturbing.
I am so sorry. I hope that image had finally receded where it belongs, to oblivion. Be well and I pray that today would be better for you.
Thanks for this!
Angelique67
  #62  
Old Oct 02, 2015, 09:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Nimitri View Post
I am so sorry. I hope that image had finally receded where it belongs, to oblivion. Be well and I pray that today would be better for you.
Thank you! I pray that today and all the tomorrow's will be better for you!
  #63  
Old Oct 02, 2015, 04:07 PM
Nimitri Nimitri is offline
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I just called my psydoc and when I told him what has happening to me, he told me I was trying to make "a chicken soup withoutc chicken" or in other words, brewing conflict when there was none. I know that. He told me that I had an excellent relationship with my mother, no deadlines and no debts and I should gave thanks to god. I know that. He told me (rather forcefully) that for my panic attacks, which are nothing (or came for nothing) I should just take my medicine, which is for depression. To. just. take. my. medicine. In a curt and I think exasperated tone of voice.

And I can't stop crying.

I know I have nothing to fear. I know that I have my mother. I know that I have a great life. But that doesn't stop the sweat and the palpitations in my hands, the stress in my back and the guilt in my mind. That hadn't stopped me crying in the morning feeling sick in the evening or having these thoughs of tragedy circling my mind.

He is more than likely being right, but it hurts dammit. It hurts that he acted that way when is the second time in a year that I had called him and none in the last two I had seeing him. It hurts that he only gave me less than five minutes and it's my fault because I thought he would be kinder. Maybe it's what I need, this slap to wake up,

But it hurts and I feel like utter ****.

I hope feel better latter.

I am in my other city, having to stay because my photos wouldn't come out until yesterday and I'm alone and tomorrow was supposed to be the annual reunion with somewhat I think people that like me and it was going to be great and now I must stay here preparing for the moving and I'm so alone and I can't talk to anybody and I fear going out of my diet and I'm whinning and have everything but that doesn't stop the tears coming.
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  #64  
Old Oct 02, 2015, 05:22 PM
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nimtri,
your pdoc sounds like an idiot when he said something about a conflict . does he know that you need two people to have a conflict ? I guess he doesn't know that . my therapist told me yesterday in my session w her . whenever you feel your anxiety is gets to a 5 on a scale from 0- 10 , she told me to do the STOP technique take three deep breaths in and blow three breaths out think of something pleasant and tell yourself and the other person at whom you are having a conflict w that you need a time out and walk away from the situation until you calm down .






Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds: Cymbalta 90mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia
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  #65  
Old Oct 02, 2015, 06:53 PM
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High anxiety, low motivation all day today and I can't find my meds.
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  #66  
Old Oct 02, 2015, 08:16 PM
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spring2014 spring2014 is offline
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really rough week everyone .I was bawling in front of my therapist yesterday afternoon in my session and she was delayed again yesterday afternoon she knew that she had an appointment with me yesterday . my cellphone died cuz of w battery was drained I couldn't go to choir practice last night .I had to call my therapist last night and found out that it was my anxiety that was bad again after I took my meds . I hate my anxiety level when it's high like that everyone it made me feel like **** and crap everyone .








Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds : Cymbalta 90 mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia
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  #67  
Old Oct 03, 2015, 04:00 AM
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When my husband got home from work I got really agitated and anxious. He was swearing alot, which I don't like him doing around our son, and saying things he says in a joking manor, but not funny to me.....
  #68  
Old Oct 03, 2015, 04:04 AM
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Amarose Amarose is offline
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[QUOTE=spring2014;4705248]nimtri,
your pdoc sounds like an idiot when he said something about a conflict . does he know that you need two people to have a conflict ? I guess he doesn't know that . my therapist told me yesterday in my session w her . whenever you feel your anxiety is gets to a 5 on a scale from 0- 10 , she told me to do the STOP technique take three deep breaths in and blow three breaths out think of something pleasant and tell yourself and the other person at whom you are having a conflict w that you need a time out and walk away from the situation until you calm down .

This technique sounds good! I will try to see if I can implement it.
  #69  
Old Oct 03, 2015, 05:12 AM
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Verity81 Verity81 is offline
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Hate anxiety, I'm back on meds. I hope they work. To many negative thoughts. I fear my future
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  #70  
Old Oct 03, 2015, 08:46 PM
Nimitri Nimitri is offline
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Today was a... good day. yeah good day.

I woke up but didn't have my attack. It was more like a simmering fear in my gut and in my back but nothing like yersterday. I did my breath excersice and prayers first in the morning as a way to ward the anxiety and I think it worked. Mostly. I didn't bawl.

Was sad because I'm moving back to my home city and I realized I have not a single photograph of my place and that is all white with only two posters. Went to take a walk in the city and realized that I didn't do anything beyond being surrounded in my apartment. Then I remembered that I loved that and while it hurt watching some people joke with each other and I was so jelaous, I remembered good things I watched and though and the experience in my University.

Only my studies to take an international posgrade soured my day, because I can't find anything that it's for the next year or I need to pay more to have my things translated and my exam and, well, that sucked. Did excercise and red MLP Fiction and while reading tense situations don't relax me, it allowed me to focus my energy.

Feel tired now but good. Still pissed about my therapist, but I must trust he did the right thing or he was stressed and I called in a bad moment.

Thank you all
Thanks for this!
Angelique67
  #71  
Old Oct 04, 2015, 01:49 PM
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gayleggg gayleggg is offline
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Anxiety is bad today. No reason. I hate it when it's like this. I could understand if I had a good reason but not when all I have to do is stay on the couch and watch TV. It makes me angry.

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  #72  
Old Oct 04, 2015, 02:25 PM
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I had a full blown panic attack and am still quite anxious today. I'm afraid that I'm losing my relationship with my sister and it is killing me inside. Very anxious over that today.
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  #73  
Old Oct 04, 2015, 08:11 PM
Nimitri Nimitri is offline
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Feeling better today. Woke up with barely an anxiety feeling althought I stayed like 45 minutes in bed doing prayers and today I had nothing to do.

I feel a little sad because I'm leaving this city I have been for 8 years, probably forever and I feel I should have done more. Very tired and I want to go to sleep.
  #74  
Old Oct 04, 2015, 11:40 PM
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BlueEyedMama BlueEyedMama is offline
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Just got a text from one of my step sons saying he is suicidal. We talked through his emergency plan since I can't really help living 3 hours away but now I worried sick over it. It used to happen daily and now it's every 10 days or so which I guess is better but all it takes is one time and it is tortures me as I learn if he really wants to do it there is nothing i can do to stop him. HELPLESS FEELING. I love him so much.
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  #75  
Old Oct 05, 2015, 05:41 PM
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My anxiety is not as bad as it used to be. Depression is about the same.
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