Anxiety Daily Check-In point #8

“As someone who has been consistently going to therapy for years & working "on myself"....... let me tell you there is only so much individual introspection and healing you can do when the structural forces and external events contributing to mental illness continue acting on you.”
@kvetchings (Twitter)

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I'm fairly calm. I took my PRN this morning.

I don't think I'll ever get over my severe anxiety. Klonopin helps. So that's what I've been taking for it. Along with my other meds I take for mental health issues.

I'm super anxious about starting a new job.

I am much less anxious today, but I habe the Ativan, if I need it. I'm so greatful to the MD I saw yesterday. She was kind and warm and empathetic. She touched my hand and remarked how cold it was. And she ordered Ativan for my anxiety. I felt so listened to and cared about.

Yeah I counted my Valium and I am 10 pills short. So in September I’ll have to go down to 2 a day for a few days. I’m just trying not to worry about it now. But I took my 3 for the day pretty much all at one time and early and they aren’t really working. So I took my 20 Geodon around 12:30 and now I’m just exhausted. But not anxious. I have a heating pad on too and I find heat to be helpful for my anxiety. I was thinking of taking one of my anti vertigo meds earlier. I’m not dizzy but they do make me feel relaxed. Yeah I don’t always use meds the way they are supposed to be for. I can take half my night meds in half an hour. Which won’t even be mid afternoon by then. But I’m hoping to really be stable both physically and mentally by the holidays. I’m not sure what to do about my food situation today. I don’t feel like eating but it’s not anxiety related food phobia. I just don’t have any desire to eat.

I think today is just mostly PMS.

No anxiety at the moment.

I haven't felt anxious this morning. I know the Ativan is there if I need it. Just that 2 mg I took 2 days ago seemed to break its hold on me. What a relief!

I was feeling ok and then my anxiety got worse. I’ve taken 4 Valium in just over an hour. It’s a combination of many things that is causing my increased anxiety. Some stuff I’m anxious about is minor, other stuff I’m anxious about is incredibly huge.

This PMS should hopefully be over tomorrow. And hopefully I won’t get any post PMS. I only got that once recently. Honestly only these last few days and last Tuesday were bad. Things have been pretty unusually mild. It’s mostly just been anxiety I’ve been dealing with this month.

I'm better, kind of. I'm doing lots of analyzing & feeling various emotions.

Took Ativan late last night. (1.5)
mg.) Calm today. Too tired.

I'm very anxious. Merry Maids will be here tomorrow. I worked for months on my house to get it to this point, where it's decluttered enough that someone can clean. I hope I did enough.

So tired. Went to PCP. I asked for intravenous iron. They agreed to order it. I'll still take the oral iron. But I want to get better quicker. I'm too weak. Can hardly walk across a parkinglot. My apartment is a mess. Took Ativan last night for anxiety.

My anxiety was pretty mild today. Actually it was quite low. I did take 5 Valium yesterday. I only took one today. I gave the bottle to my mom last night after I took the 5th one last night. I told her to take control and to only give me my prescribed 3 a day. Having her be in control of it instead of me has made it less tempting to just take one whenever I feel the slightest bit of anxiety.

I think these last several days were more PMS then I realized since my overall moods are down today even though I haven’t gotten any info on the 2 things I’m really waiting on.

I think my anxiety is fairly low at the moment. I've just been really sad. I had a cup of coffee a little while ago & it's helping me right now.

I've never struggled with anxiety up until last year when my marriage was finally showing signs of imploding.

We're now 3 weeks separated, and I'm really struggling. Shortness of breath, constant headache, and on bad days I'm so light headed and nauseous I can't eat or concentrate on anything.

To be honest I'm not sure how to deal with this at all.

I just can’t fight with this massive anxiety today so I took one of my night geodons just now. I guess I’m starting to feel a bit better. I don’t care if I get hungry or physically tired. I just want to feel stable for the rest of the day. I am so exhausted mentally from this nonstop anxiety I get 4-5 times a week.

I just looked at Covid cases on Google and I don’t feel better. So I took my 2 Geodon 80 and I’m hoping that helps. I have my lamictal propalnol, and my 3rd Valium I’ll save for later.

Now I just need the Geodon to take me on some type of vacation. Hopefully a very trippy out of it the rest of the day kind of vacation.

I'm a little anxious this afternoon.

I took Vistaril 100 mg last night for anxiety and insomnia. I slept well and feel better today

I feel nervous. I'm trying to calm myself, & now I'm crying.

I slept pretty good. Didn't take any Vistaril last night. Haven't felt the need for any Ativan. I guess that anxiety has lost its hold on me.

My mom left me alone since yesterday morning with all my meds including my bottle of Valium. And I’ve been taking just the 3 I’m prescribed. I haven’t had to double up at all or feel the need to take extras. I think her taking control of them early this week helped my body adjust to just the prescribed dose.

I feel a little anxious.

I have some anxiety.

I was anxious this morning but I'm doing better now.