[wolfspirit2015]

Originally Posted by Merlin

Welcome to our forum! Come in and introduce yourself to other members!! This thread is place for new members to get the attention and feedback of the older members, or older members to give more information about themselves. They can discuss diagnosis, treatment or another other topic of their disorder and older members will respond.

I created this introduction thread due to the number of introductions posted on the "Bipolar Chat" sticky. The Bipolar Chat that I lead is now scheduled on Fridays at 9 PM EST. It will cover a variety of topics which will be posted in the chat announcement and outlines will also be posted for those unable to make the chats. The first Friday of the month Wingin'it will lead an open Bipolar Chat. Those will Bipolar are also invited to the Depression Chat on Wednesday at 9 PM EST, but there will be significant overlap in topic.

I've been bipolar most of the life. I manage it quite well most of the time, but there are often times when it hits me hard even though I take my meds religiously. On top of being bipolar, I suffer from PTSD and dissociative amnesia.

[Samantha26643]

Hi I am samantha, I have not gotten a diagnosis as of yet, but I am going through some major depression issues, and recently someone told me I may be having bipolar disorder as well.. I am not sure tho!

[tamarama]

Hello Everyone. I've had a diagnosis of Bipolar I for about 13 years but the first manic episode I remember was when I was 16 and I am now in my early 50's. I've been an observer of chat rooms for those of us with BP but never participated. Although currently stable, I have a hard time expressing myself in an articulate manner, which is why I have chosen not to participate in chat up to this point. Hopefully I will get more comfortable (and articulate) and be able to add something to this community.

[Inkwell]

Hi I'm Bailey! I'm 20 years old and have known I was bipolar since I was five years old. My mother is bipolar, though she was diagnosed only shortly before I was, and my family has a long history of mental illness. When I was 18, I finally found a point of being sane enough where I don't need treatment at all as long as I'm in control. There's only been two or three times bad enough to seek help, and never have I needed to return to medication. I nanny for a living, which helps ease my symptoms as I have someone else to focus on. I currently care for a toddler I adore, but know my contract is nearing its end which makes me nervous. My current employer is aware of my bipolar, but was not at the time I was hired. I seem to have a lot of stress and worry in my life for awhile now, all caused by events or drama, though I try to nip it before it gets to me emotionally.

I've always been wary of seeking out other people with bipolar, as it seemed most I met in the past would not practice self control and blame everything on being mentally ill. At the point I'm at in my life, bipolar and its treatment are no longer a defining trait of how I live. I've been dating a man for around 2 years now who suffers from severe undiagnosed anxiety, and refuses to seek treatment. It's been a heavy burden on my mental health as well, so I feel I need somewhere to be able to talk about what I need and am going through without the influence of what he does. I'm never going to force him to seek help, though I've let him know that I will not stand idly by and let him blame his illness for what is said between us.

I really hope I find the community I've been looking for.

[CElliot_4]

Hello,

I'm Elliot. In college as an engineer, whoohooo.

Recently possibly diagnosed with bipolar II, BPD, and general anxiety. I joined because I'm a little scared and also worried that I might be on too many medications and I wanted some people's opinions that also deal with this.

[awsomekimme61]

Hi my friends call me kimme. I was diagnosed at 16 with maniac depression, that was the 70's. My mother disagreed with the doctors so until 1998 I pretended I was normal. I, unfortunately, tend to try and kill myself even though I don't want to die. Up until a head injury 3 years ago I was taking Lamectal and an anti depressant which worked well. Since my head injury I have brain seizures and am unable to take any medication for bipolar. Other than talking to much on occasion I don't have any of the symptoms I once had, but still watch out for. I had a good career and was a single mom and if I can help anyone that is just diagnosed I am all ears. No matter what the question. I've lived through it all and there is no judgment.

[B2008]

Misdiagnosed for 8 years. Several docs called it depression until my father was diagnosed 2 months ago. Finally my new doc listened. after years of this and that antidepressant and anti anxieties. which only made it worse, I am on the right path. The best description, I feel free. Only been a month on meds but the change is drastic. The only part I am struggling with is finally realizing all those racing thoughts, the ideas and fantasies that play in my head, they are wrong and no where close to acceptable. I have started discussing these things with my husband who is my rock. Even though I'm fine with admitting I'm a bit crazy, it's still a hard realization that parts of my brain are far worse than just crazy. Did anyone else find it difficult to face this? It weighs very heavy. How do you deal? I have four children a wonderful husband and just a great life in general. But now that I can't just pass all these thoughts off as normal and am seeing myself a lot clearer, I'm very afraid.

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[Amy Today]

Happy Black Friday...if you're into that kind of thing, which I'm not, because I hate crowds and barely like people most of the time. I'm Bipolar II w/ a PTSD kicker. I came here to find others with similar experiences, struggles, and successes. At the moment, I am having a very difficult time adjusting to my medications and I'm also struggling with accepting that I have a mental illness that is, more often than not, debilitating. I also struggle to share my diagnosis with others, family and friends. I feel like I'm in the closet in denial and I need to come out and accept and embrace that this is really happening. I figured this would be a good place to begin.

I'm 43, have two daughters, 19 & 14 and a wonderfully supportive husband. That's where the functional part of my life ends. I'm also recently unemployed due to the major depressive episode and partial hospitalization that led to my diagnosis.

[ThAtGuRl14201484]

Hello. I was diagnosed as bipolar II three or four years ago. Before that they always just called me depressed. Nothing ever worked until I got the right diagnosis and went to a few years of therapy. Now I still have highs and lows but I manage pretty well. I work full time as a nurse and am raising two young ones. I'm hoping to connect with other people as I'm bad at the socializing part.

[Thrubeingcool13]

Hello Heather, There is hope and i too have over come impulses. We get into routines and the simple fact that you chimed in means that you are working to change the routine. Please feel free to message me and I'll do my best to pass along solid immediate material that will help. "You can catch the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right",

[TurtleSnakeFrog]

Originally Posted by Merlin

Welcome to our forum! Come in and introduce yourself to other members!! This thread is place for new members to get the attention and feedback of the older members, or older members to give more information about themselves. They can discuss diagnosis, treatment or another other topic of their disorder and older members will respond.

I created this introduction thread due to the number of introductions posted on the "Bipolar Chat" sticky. The Bipolar Chat that I lead is now scheduled on Fridays at 9 PM EST. It will cover a variety of topics which will be posted in the chat announcement and outlines will also be posted for those unable to make the chats. The first Friday of the month Wingin'it will lead an open Bipolar Chat. Those will Bipolar are also invited to the Depression Chat on Wednesday at 9 PM EST, but there will be significant overlap in topic.

Thank you for setting this up Laura. Hello, my name is David and I am 18 years old. I am currently in Academy of Art University. I am studying to become a video game designer. I have been living with Bipolar Disorder all my life, and I just recently found out. I don't know everything about Bipolar Disorder, but I understand that there are mania stages and depression stages. I can remember as a kid showing the exact same signs as I do now, but worse because I didn't know how to control it very well. Now, I can control it enough so I don't totally flip out or harm myself. However, the emoitions are still there. I have tried looking for a psychotherapist, but had no luck finding one without having to go out of state yet. I hope this forum will help me until I find one.

[B2008]

Thatgurl, I too was "just depressed"for 6 years! Lots of antidepressants made it worse. Finally after bad episode last month I've got the right diagnosis and started on depakote! Soo much better! Haven't seen a psych doc yet. I have 4 kids and stay home. I'm a med tech and cannot even imagine returning to work in the nursing homes in my current state. This is my first time in a chat site and am very happy to talk to people with same issues. It's hard making friends when people in general don't know how to take you. Glad you're here. Good luck!

No matter how small, a positive change deserves to be celebrated!

[Goatman666]

My name is Shane. I am eighteen years old. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 with mild PTSD about two years ago. Before that I was misdiagnosed with BPD, and depression before that. I haven't taken medication in years and my symptoms (especially the manic ones) have gotten worse. I feel very alone in this. Even though my girlfriend of nearly two years goes out of her way to be supportive. I feel like I need other bipolar individuals to relate to. I'm sick of having to explain myself over and over again just to be misunderstood by someone who doesn't entirely understand where I'm coming from. I need help. I need a sincere friend.

My name is Tyra. I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1. I also have GAD, depression and insomnia. Looking forward to getting to know everyone.

[TMac1010]

Bi polar diagnosis 15 years ago... Still a struggle... Pisses me right off tbh... Blah. Lmfao

[MightyJesse]

Hey,

I'm here *partly* because my sister was diagnosed as bipolar I about 10 years ago. I'm also here because I have a pdoc appointment in January to be assessed myself. My Mom has been urging me to get checked out since my sister was diagnosed and Mom was all "OMG. YOU GUYS DO ALL THE SAME STUFF." I'm not 100% sure if my problem is bp or ADHD (my sister has both) or both. I don't feel like my condition is as bad as my sister's, but at the same time, I've built my life around coping mechanisms that most people find... unusual, I guess.

Don't get me wrong, I've been to see a pdoc when things in my life have gotten out of hand, but every time I go, there seems to be a LEGIT reason that I just can't function.

The first time I went in my late 20's, it turned out that I had hypothyroidism, and I dove into getting that sorted out. While I was immersed in that, everything else got better. (But the original problems were that I couldn't sleep and I sometimes couldn't READ.)

The second time I went was when I was pregnant three years later. Pregnancy does wacky stuff to your hormones, so believing that your fetus is trying to kill you and having very explicit thoughts about...

Possible trigger:

death stuff (Start to finish, there was a plan that played out in my head over and over, and I wasn't even really ENGAGED in the plan. I didn't really WANT it, but the plan was very VIVID and REAL.)

... It can happen to normal people, I'm sure. Well, I was sure. Anyway, I just had to get through the time served and NOT do anything rash. And I did, and my daughter is lovely. I've decided that I will NEVER be pregnant again, though.

The third time I went was three years later, and again because I was having trouble staying asleep, I couldn't eat, and sometimes I couldn't read. My thoughts were disjointed and I couldn't feel my legs. I stopped going to the pdoc because my PCP determined that I had pernicious anemia and very low serum B12. When we started treating that, most of the symptoms improved immediately.

BUT... I still have unexplained periods of extreme productivity and extreme lack of function. I read all this stuff about bipolar disorder for my sister and everything is described as "happy" or "sad." My friends describe me as "stoic." I don't really emote much either way. I describe my ups and downs as "productive" or "scattered."

Anyway, I'm finally at a point where I feel kind of... Level. My daughter is eventually going to want some kind of accurate medical history, so at this point, I feel like I have the support I need to see a pdoc and be *honest* and find out what he thinks. My coping skills work pretty well, but sometimes I think it would be nice if I could just take a pill that helped me sleep more than 4 hours, instead of working out enough that my body falls down and stays down.

So, that's me.

Nice to meet you all.

MJ

[MightyJesse]

My younger sister is bipolar I and ADHD. I've never stuck it out with a pdoc long enough to know, but I have an appointment in January, now that the rest of me seems to be level enough to just concentrate on one thing.

[Saltine American]

Hiya My name is Alicia.
Ever since I can remember I have always had SA/GA. Even going back to toddler days I would get sick before school and holidays.
It wasn't until I was 14, when my mother left on a BP schizoaffective binge that I started Therapy. There was no progress made, just crying. until a psychiatrist prescribed Xanax, which at the time made me more happy and carefree than sleepy and relaxed.
Years later I went to a state funded counseling center where I went through many psychiatrists and diagnoses.
At 25 I became an addict after suffering from, what they call now, IBSD. At 26 I was diagnosed with Bipolar II along with major depressive disorder. My manic episodes which started at 26, was the norm compared to the women in my immediate family who all suffer current delusions of grandeur among other creative and normal psychotic features. Mine were an overly outgoing attitude, drugs, alcohol, sex and rarely any sleep. this has happened 4 times. I am now 32. The mania never lasted long. I had always come down and eventually locked myself away since then. I rarely drive or go outside. I don't go to stores. Unusual, but, recently at a low point I started cutting. Twice. the second time I knew something was wrong because that's just not a normal trait I have so Now I am on new meds. I came to this website because I've explored others, and well, This one seems the most heartfelt. Thanks for that.

[Bacchus123]

I am Bacchus Ong from the Land of Oriental Baboon ( Malaysia ) Was wondering, if there is technically a tri polar syndrome .....which brought me here. Hallihello all :-0

[Bacchus123]

Originally Posted by bellearachne

i was diagnosed bipolar about 4 weeks ago after being depressed, borderline, ptsd, ocd. ive been seeing therapists for 10 years and searching for the right meds just as long.

its been a rough four weeks i kinda always though i might be bipolar but have been in denial. more afraid of the stigma than of the disorder. what does it mean? for me? for my soon to be 7 year old son? for my family?

im scared of myself. not of harming others or myself but of not having control of my emotions. of the surges of happiness and depression, of my reactions to it.

i came here to find solutions as im feeling a bit pro-active today. if not solutions maybe reassurances or answers....something...

i hope to get the help i need and to be of some help to others.

thank you for this opportunity

bellearachne

I never what bi polar was until today. .........was thinking....maybe there's tri polar ...which is me :-)

[Granger41]

Hello! I am 41 years old and newly diagnosed with Bipolar II. Before my diagnosis I was struggling with depression and I never saw the "highs" in my past. Now they make sense. I am now in an ambulance for bipolar disorder and next Wednesday we will speak about the next steps and medication (I was on Effexor but now I stopped it cause it can change my mood into mania). They also have group support and education facilities there. And they will help me to find a therapist too. For the time I am a little bit confused and I try to find out as much as I can about the illness and how I can manage it. So I hope to meet much people oho also know the struggle and problems with it. That could help me a lot I think. I am married for almost 15 years and have four adoreable children. I try to be stable for them not for me. For the time I have not much self love I think. I do not trust me cause of the hypomania stats and changing moods and decisions. What is really me and what is the illness? I hope to find answers this year. I wish you all a happy new Year!

[Granger41]

I am 41 years old and newly diagnosed with Bipolar II. In my past I always struggled with depression, I never realized the problems with "highs", now it seems to make sense. The last episode was a depressed mood, I took effexor for the second time but now I stopped the medication because of the possibility of a switch into hypomania. Next Wednesday I will speak with my doctor about new medication regime and the next steps. For the time I visit an ambulance for bipolar disorders in a hospital. There are also groups and education and they want to help me to find a therapist too. I am also married for almost 15 years and have four children. The last year was very challenging for us because of my struggle and I hope to look forward to better times cause we have the right diagnosis now. I want to speak with people who know the struggle and problems with this illness, who has experiences with medication and therapy and who cares for each other. So I think this could be a nice place to be If you want to ask me something - please do! And sorry for my bad English sometimes, I am from Germany

[Jonron]

My name is Jon and I have bipolar 2 as well as GAD and severe ADHD. I mood swing so fast it scares me. It's hard for me to stay on my meds, even tho I know how important they are. I need a support group, my friends have failed me. I have my mom and my therapist and that's it. It makes it hard especially during depression.

[electricrainbow]

So I have a friend who is bipolar and on lithium, now we have been very close friends for 3.5 years with a 3 month break at the beginning of last year...since becoming friends again it seems like she has gotten worse. She gets angry easy and about the smallest things, now I know it seems small to me but is big to her I understand that, I am just having a hard time to dealing with it. I know underneath there is a great person but the personal verbal attacks are becoming a lot to handle. For instant I have another best friend and my friend with bi poloar says that she is not my friend because I already have a best friend, so its like I can only have one best friend. It has gotten to the point that I had to unfriend yet another friend from fb because she doenst like her, and this other friend has done nothing to my bp friend..but in my bp friends eyes she thinks my fb friend has an alterior motive....my bp friend has extreme paranoia. I feel bad to unfriend my other friend as I don't know what to do and I am afraid that my fb will eventually move on and not want to be friends with me , mpw my bp friend says I mock her illness, when I don't, I am trying to understand this......

We just finished having a huge fight that lasted probably two weeks and a lot was said in anger. The last two days have been good and now she is triggered again by me adding a certain on fb, she has been up for 28hrs now and says she will sleep for a couple of hours then she will be good as new, she is very educated on her bp illness but when it comes to close people she doesn't know why she can fly off the handle, the way she talks to me she would never talk to anyone else like that, just very very close pple like her husband and myself she says things without thinking but for someone outside of the circle she can control herself...why is that?

I want to learn everything and anything about this illness, as a person being close to someone who suffers with bp it is getting very frustrating as sometimes I want to close the chapter on our friendship, I have now seen her loose it so to speak twice now ...

Her highs or euphoria mania are awesome, but when she comes down she knows she is starting to feel depressed and doesn't know why, then paranoia sets in, accusations start to fly, her temper is quick, she thinks she is always right , she will argue a point to the bitter end, if you try to get away from the argument you are dismissing her feelings and punishing her with silent treatment that is what she thinks, but in reality all you are doing is stepping back because it does not matter what you say you are wrong in what you say.. its like she has to have complete control...

so as you can see I am very frustrated and really need to converse with someone to get a better understanding and how to handle this .....

feeling very frustrated

[gayleggg]

I'm feeling particularly anxious today. Klonopin hasn't really helped that much. I had a therapy appointment but that shouldn't have upset me. The depression was worse today too. I was hoping that I was improving but now another setback. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

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