Why am I so ANGRY?

I just recently in the last two weeks had an increase in my zoloft and my abilify because the treatment Im on for my illness causes major depression and my pdoc is trying to balance it out. So the last three days I have woke up just angry as hell. I mean pissed off at the world. I have to litterally go in my bed and punch pillows and scream into my pillows so that I dont physically hurt others. I had to burn myself with a cigarette to get these feelings to go away if only for a moment. I have never self injured before this but it seemed like the only thing that would work to get my mind off of being so angry.
Its like I have all this nervous angry pent up energy inside, but I cant do anything constructive with it. I have never been this way before is this a disphoric mania? Was my medication raised too much maybe? I called the pdoc office and hes out on vacation until Wednesday. I have nothing to calm these demons inside and I am afraid I am going to hurt someone or myself. I know I sound crazy here. But Im just being totally honest and I know you guys wont judge me. I cant just tell this to anyone else in real life they will think Im a total nut case. I dont know what to do with myself. I dont know if I need to go into the hospital or what? Someone Please help I need feedback if you have any?????

There's a suicide hotline you could call or visit online: 1-800-273-TALK or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You don't have to be suicidal to talk to someone. Usually when pdocs go on vacation they arrange to have another pdoc on call. I hope this helps.

I would bet money that your anger is a side-effect from increasing your meds.

When I was on Lamictal, my Pdoc increased it hoping it would help what I thought was fibromyalgia. At first I felt much better, but within a matter of a few weeks I started having this level of anxiety and almost panic to the point I was in tears over nothing, and afraid to close my eyes to go to sleep. Finally, I remembered my sister telling me that her daughter's neurologist had told her that these types of meds have anxiety as a side-effect. I googled it, and sure enough, it was listed as a side-effect. I went off it as it had also triggered a receding hairline, and within a few days, the anxiety and tears were gone. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you aren't experiencing something similar.

Thank you I am going to look into this and see if anxiety is a side effect of zoloft or abilify. Do you think that the anger could just be anxiety?

I just looked up side effects for abilify and the very first side effect listed on there was anxiety. My mother in law gave me some valium and I have taken 6 of them, I am still angry. I dont know what to do. I dont want to do to the hospital. I need to just take a few sleeping pills and sleep it off or something. Maybe half my abilify until doc gets back in town and just let him know this is not the med for me. They dont want to give me benzos because I am a recovering addict. Before taking the valium that I just took I had been clean for almost 2years. I guess the valium just blew that out of the water but I guess its better than me hurting someone or hurting myself. Its a damn shame though because I was so proud of being clean for so long. Thing is I didnt take them to get high, I took them to calm down. I have an extremely high tolerance and the valium were the smallest dose they make that is why I took six. I took three and that did nothing so an hour later I took three more. Im still fighting with the anger but I wont take anymore because that could possibly lead to a buzz and that could be disasterous for me and my recovery. I feel absolutely no head change from the 6 valium, that tells you how high my tolerance to medication is. Its a natural high tolerance, I get it from my father. He is the exact same way.

I def think its a med side effect. I would call the p doc office again and tell them you are having an medicine-related emergency and you need the number of SOMEONE now. There is always the er option. Just be sure the FIRST thing you tell them is the med change if you go to a non p doc. I wouldn't wait. You need to get this fixed not only to stop feeling in a way that you cant control but also you dont want to start thinking of yourself as violent or dangerous to others.

Abilify made me angry, too.

Meds have been known to make some people aggro out of nowhere, or amplified current anger... Not sure which meds tho, think the ones with AD properties. Please talk to someone, you cant go on like this, you deserve better

I am definately calling tomorrow and asking if there is a doc on call while mine is out on vacation. Certainly they would have one on call for emergencies. I consider this an emergency. I am very unstable at the moment. I have never felt this way before. I am not an angry person, not at all. I mean yeah I can get very angry and blow up for a reason you know if it comes to someone messing with my kids or family, but this anger is out of nowhere for no reason.
Just very strange feelings I am having. I am not myself and I am scared. I am calling first thing in the morning. My T was supposed to call me back Friday before she left her office but she never called, Im considering finding treatment elsewhere this is not the first time they have not called me back over an important matter. Last time it was a week before I got a call back. I just dont know where to start looking.

Besides being a side-effect, the anger could be a manifestation of mania. I know a lot of peoples' manic/hypomanic phase can manifest as anger, aggitation and the like. If I end up in a really rotten mood for no reason, that's the first thing I think of. Maybe this stuff also bumped you into a soft manic phase..........

Good luck with the doctor...........

Hello moremi,

Maybe it is a side effect of your medication?
If you are a lot injurying yourself, maybe you should go to the hospital.

I wish you the best!

If you can't get a hold of anyone drop back, or sleep until you can get through to pdoc or go to the ER. I dropped back & slept because of psychosis until I got a hold of my pdoc. When he called he told me to completely stop the med and come in the next day. Two days dropping back shouldn't make a lot of difference.

I think thats what I am going to do. Thanks

Haahaha wow, this sounds exactly like my dysphoric manias!! But considering you changed meds recently, then it's definitely a side-effect. Tapering down a bit & reducing your anxiety sounds like the best course of action... If you've never really self-harmed & this is causing you to do so? That's no good at all. Best of luck on getting ahold of your doc & letting him know what happened, though!!

How are you doing?

I am feeling a bit better this morning. Not wanting to rip anyones head off yet. Im going to skip the meds this morning and tomorrow just cut them in half and skip them the next day. Hope it helps. I cant be that way, its just not in me to be an angry person like that or to hurt myself that way. Thank you all for being there and caring for me the way you do.

I understand the rage that you have been feeling. That is how I am when I am not on psych meds! Also, hypo just increases that rage for me. I know that makes me sound like a mean person, but I'm really not. I do know that if you kept on feeling that way, you would eventually start to protect the people around you by turning your rage inward instead of outward, and you would eventually develop a lot of self hate due to it. Once the self hate starts, it would trigger things like cutting and depression, but not typical depression. No... it would be really active cuz everything inside comes out during those phases and I call it active depression.

You are doing the right thing by taking care of this now and not ignoring it! Go you! lol.... it's really more important that you might think to get this under control and I admire the fact that you responded so quickly and intelligently about it. I know I let my rage go unchecked for many, many years.

Thanks Dan, I just cant stand even being mad at anyone. So being down right angry for no reason just really bothered me. I am not a mean person either so wanting to hurt or break something, anything, punching things, burning myself is just out of the question. I didnt know what to do with myself. I was actually scared of myself. I was crying because I just didnt know what I was going to do next. I just thank God for my friends here on PC because I just dont know what I would do without you guys. You seem to be much more reliable than my psychiatric team. Guess I am going back on the med rollercoaster again because this combo just isnt for me. Anger is out of the question. Im about to try to wean off my meds slowly, back to just my AD, I miss my hypo days. I havent had a good hypo in a few months because of this damn treatment keeping me down. Im not used to this. I just gotta keep on keeping on and hope and pray for the best. I keep coming here because all of my friends here keep me going, I swear you do. I honestly dont know what I would have done if I wouldnt have found this forum. Thank you all so much!!!!

Sending you lots of s and good good good, good vibrations! please keep taking care of you, you're important to me

Thanks Trippin, you are important to me too!!! You made me smile very big!!!

Hope tapering your meds help, moremi.

I understand the rage. I've become full of rage and I was never that way. I don't know what's causing it for me, but hopefully for you it goes away.

And your reply made ME smile verry big, in the bus, like an idiot. Lmao i'm glad I made you smile, even more glad that we can all make eachother smile, kinship is a cool invention.

Im hoping its just the meds needing adjustment. Could it be that it is the same for you? I sure hope you find the answer too. I know its just the worst feeling and I dont want anyone to have to feel that way.

and this made me smile! Because I can just imagine you sitting on the bus with a big old grin on your face!

Our cycles tend to change
over time, I think part of the kindling theory is probably based on this. Manias become dysphoric, cycles sometimes hit more frequently... Idk just a thought. I LOVE my hypomania, until day 4. Thats when I start getting aggitated, want to high-five you with my fist in the face-aggro, and my skin starts crawling with the anxiety and energy... I think that means my hypomania turns dysphoric