[faerie_moon_x]

I realize I'm having major issues with paranoia.

It's come to me slowly and I can't determine what is real and what isn't at this point.

My paranoia is centered around a specific person who I don't really know and who doesn't really know me, but is my husband's best friend. This person is extremely triggering to me, and it's actually causing problems in my relationship with my husband it's so bad.

I can't tell what's real and what's not real about my paranoia surrounding this person. But, the sound of my husband typing on his keyboard or even laughing when I'm not in the room can trigger me. It's not all the time, but very often.

I don't know what to do. I have several scenarios about this person which I can't tell how real or unreal they actually are, and how he is trying to destroy my life and my husband. It gets to the point where I am fighting intense inpulsive to attack him (not physically,) and see his life ruined instead as revenge.....

My husband is usually supportive but in this area he can't help me because, although he tries he doesn't understand that I seem to have actual paranoia and not "media paranoia" as in an off handed remark (stop being so paranoid.) So my husband sees me going into rage towards his friend who he claims is innocent and defends him, which only makes it worse, because then we get into an argument. And when I try to discuss it, he doesn't understand that I have actual paranoia....

I have re-typed this like 4 times, because I feel bad. My husband has other friends who don't trigger me this way. It's only this one friend. And because of it, my husband has become sort of secretive and protective of his friend against me, which makes me even more paranoid.... -.-

I know already "see a pdoc." I know that. But.... what do I do until I can? I don't know how to reality check these issues.

[Trippin2.0]

Oh my... Sis, I honestly do not know how to reality check an unfamiliar 'subject'... I feel so helpless, I see you reaching out and have nothing more than hugs, eyes and ears to offer you... Can you maybe sit down hubby, clarify exactly what it is you fear and hubby can reality check as to why that wont happen? Maybe you guys can put it on paper, make it more concrete? Idk, I'm grasping at straws and probably not helping at all, but please know that I love you and I'm listening

[faerie_moon_x]

We've talked about it mutliple times. It's hard to explain actual paranoia to someone who doesn't have it. I mean, everyone has the basic paranoia. But the level that I get it is so far away beyond that, and if you're used to being able to just... 'figure out' things easily (he's good at that,) it's hard to grasp.... and.... since it's his friend he feels attacked. And I feel bad. -.-

I knew something was brewing but it took me this long to figure out what it was exactly. I've actually been struggling with this for quite a long time, and all of my scenarios are really powerful now.

I feel that... if I could actually talk to his friend and get to know him that it might help. But I don't feel that is possible. But, I also can't tell if it's my paranoia, but I do know my husband won't want me to talk to him to clarify things, because of his protectivness.... both of his friend and of me. I can't explain. My mind is all over the place and I can't tell what is real or not in this situation.... it's like watching a movie in 3D. It looks really coming at you. But it's not....

[Trippin2.0]

I'm sorry you're stuck in this aweful situation, I hope it passes soon and am willing to listen if you are up to sharing

Dark Heart, you need to see your psychiatrist as quickly as you can and get on medication to relieve the symptoms of paranoia.

As long as you know that it's paranoia and not a warranted fear, you are in control of yourself. It is unusual for a husband to act as yours is, in my view, but if he's doing it to protect you, then he has some compassion.

It's good that you can talk about it with us. We're listening. But you want answers.

You know that paranoia is a strong fear that may or may not be justified--usually, it isn't, so I understand. If this is the first time it has ever happened to you, probably you may be able to get it dissolved. You don't want it to settle into a pattern that is irrevocable.

In the meantime, stop drinking coffee, alcohol, tea, eating chocolate or anything
that is a strong stimulant to your nervous system. Feelings are very subject to
ingestion of foods that you may be sensitive to. I'd also stop the wheat for two weeks. That should give your system a chance to rid itself of any major
food sensitivities that could be contributing to your feeling tone.

Are you having disturbing dreams at night? (another clue to food sensitivity.)

Try to get that appointment with your psychiatrist as soon as possible. He/she
may have the solution for you.

Please stay away from your husband's communication with his friend so that you are not exposed so much to it until your psychiatrist gives you a plan of action.

It can be resolved, Dark Heart, with help and maybe new meds.

Releasing it to friends here may help you get a stronger hold on the fact that it
may not be a dangerous challenge to your marriage once you have resolved the
feelings. Several of us will be listening and trying to offer suggestions.

If you are willing, purchase a little paperback called "Around the Year With Emmet Fox". It has wonderful ideas for learning to be more independent and less afraid. He reveals the true power of positive thinking so that the negativity and fear can dissolve.

Keep in touch as you need.

Good wishes, too.

[gary290]

I have Bipolar with Psychotic Features (and for me that's paranoia). I've suffered with it for years. Risperdal helps me a lot.

Paranoia is a delusion not based on fact. I have to use the ABC format of Rational Emotive Therapy to help me distinguish between fact and fantasy.

A. Activating Event (Write what the triggering situation was)

B. Thoughts/Beliefs (What am I telling myself about the event)

C. Feelings (How does it make me feel)

D. Dispute any Irrational Thoughts & Beliefs

Sometimes when I see it written down it helps me to figure things out.

I wish you the very best.

[BlueInanna]

^^^ That's so cool gary - I did that therapy with my son for the year he was in Utah. That was their mainframe. I loved our therapist there. He also taught us about in figuring out your feelings, to think of the primary emotions. Like it was usually anger for us. And that boils down to 1 of 4 primary emotions, or some combo: Fear, Pain, Confusion, Sense of Injustice. (I know there are many different descriptors of emotions, but this one really made sense to me). Looking at it like that really helps the rationalization process, and could help you figure out what is real and what is not.

From everything you've shared about your husband, I think you can trust him. imho, even if this friend of his had some bad ideas about you or something, your husband would defend you. Maybe this has been going on awhile with this particular friend of his, but this is also coinciding with major conflict and betrayal from your dad. Something to consider?

Also, can you think of anything you could ask of your husband to help you through this? Is there anything he could do to reassure you that his friend means no harm, or that he will protect you and defend you?

[faerie_moon_x]

Thanks

First off, no, this isn't the first time I've had paranoia. I had that major episode that lasted several years, but no treatment at that time. It was full on persecution delusions with delusions of grandure and hallucinations. But, I'm not diagnosable from it because it happened when I wasn't in treatment....

Genetic: I currently don't have a psychologist or psychiatrist and no insurance. We're moving very soon so I can't get set up with the county until we move (which is to another county.) I plan to figure things out once we move for that. As for the diet thing, I already have a very limited diet. I have some major food problems as well. So, it's not so simple for me personally to change my diet by eliminating food groups in entirity, as I eat very few foods to begin with. So, I don't know about that.

Gary: This is exactly the type of help I'm looking for. Thank you! Do you know of any online resorces where I can learn about this? If not, I'll look it up. At least it will give me something until I can figure out treatment.

Blue: My husband is very supportive and loving and super protective of people he cares about. So, it's hard for him to have to deal with this situation because it's two people he cares about.... Also that feeling sorter thingy you describe? Do you know what it is called maybe I can look it up.

[faerie_moon_x]

Well so I found the information about this online. And i realize it's not going to be easy to do on my own. But it's only a short time I hope on my own.

Anyway, I told my husband all about it and what he thinks. He thinks it's fine to try. And I told him I would need his help with some things. Since I can't tell what's what in the middle of it, and it's more like when people start to point things out that. Even right now, thinking about these beliefs and knowing that they aren't true, I feel that they are true. Even knowing my husband that I trust completely tells me it's not true, I struggle with it, that I can't help but feel it is true. Even the thoughts that when I look at them, I can see it's illogical, but I still can't get past them.... Like, they make my heart race and I start to feel panic and freak out.... -.-

So, I tried to find like a tracker online. I wish there was one, because that's easier for me. But, there isn't. So, I'm going to journal it on a small notebook.

And, I want to give my husband information on psychosis, especially this type of paranoia.

Oh, you sound so much stronger today, Dark Heart X. I hope you continue to feel
better.

[faerie_moon_x]

Thanks, Genetic!

I am shakey today.

I am having my racing thoughts and most of them are what I consider normal thoughts, just random fluff. But, then I get these looped in thoughts about this situation.

Last night went better. I was better able to fight down the triggers a bit. Just constantly saying "not real, not real, not real." Even as my mind is screaming at me that it is real.... uhg.... -.-

[sassymck]

Oh Dark Heart, it sounds as if you are in so much agony. I am so sorry. This is unchartered territory for me in a way, but I obsess, and some people can't grasp that, so that makes sense to me--the frustration you feel in that. Try to extract yourself from this situation as much as possible til you get to your pdoc and get relief from your symptoms. Also try to distract yourself from the situation as much as possible so it doesn't consume you. When my OCD is trying to take control of me, I recognize it for what it is and try to remove myself from the object and focus on something very different. Get to PC and just talk away. Write away. Do whatever you need to do that might help. Know we are listening and that we care. All the best, and let us know how you make out. I know this stuff is hard to talk about, but good for you for taking that step. Each little step you take will get you to where you want to be.