[SingDanceRunLife]

Today was rather annoying...my irritability level shot up because many little things just built up. But tomorrow I'm going to work and I'm hoping for another day like yesterday which was actually a really good day.

Too much energy and it doesn't stop!

(((Mandrec)))
I know the energy can be disruptive and/or destructive, but what I wouldn't give for it right now...feelin low and slow.

I am draggin...not so much sad or depressed...just down. Finances are tight, but at least I make the money I make or things would be SO much worse. So the BPD II just magnifies the normal stressors and attempts to get me to use things to distract me from the stressors. That is how I have made my way thru drugs, alcohol, porn, shopping etc etc.

NOW I am dealing with my stressors instead of getting distracted. Getting distracted has not served me well, just ask my fractured family.

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by CheshireCatGrin

Anne: I think because I'm still in my first five years of teaching, I find it the opposite! By the time I go back in September, I'm usually nervous and excited to get to meet the next group of kids! Although I definitely get stressed out and have "back to school" nightmares! haha.

That's great, Ches. One of my sons is a young teacher, and he also coaches. He loves it!!! I really can appreciate enthusiasm and innovation we often find in those young in the profession! It's very special. Here's to fewer nightmares, though! BTW, I have been thinking about researching and trying to practice some control w dreaming, nightmares, etc. I've heard that sometimes it can be accomplished or improved. Take care!!!!

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by emgreen

Sorry to hear of your problems, Chupacabra. I've been struggling with sleep lately, too. My pdoc increased my seroquel, but I'm still having trouble getting sound sleep...Because of vivid, disturbing dreams, mostly. I just wish I could eat & get a good night's sleep, too. Does anyone know if there's a correlation between meds & dreams? I'd list all the meds I'm on, but it would be a long & boring exercise.

Yes, I understand there is often a correlation, emgreen. But not very knowledgeable with this area. Though some meds I've had have increased dreams and intensity, like cymbalta, for one. As I mentioned earlier to someone, I wanted to get to some dream research and possible ways of controlling night terrors. I think there's a lot of research out there and maybe some possibilities for improvement, even when taking specific meds. We will see. Anyway, hope your sleep gets better!!!!

[anneo59]

got a lot going on, but pretty motivated to complete some projects. Want to guard against the mania, but it sure does feel better than this persistent fear, anxiety, paranoia, depression I've battled for much of this last year. Hope I don't swing back that way again too fast! Be well, all!

[A Red Panda]

Originally Posted by anneo59

That's great, Ches. One of my sons is a young teacher, and he also coaches. He loves it!!! I really can appreciate enthusiasm and innovation we often find in those young in the profession! It's very special. Here's to fewer nightmares, though! BTW, I have been thinking about researching and trying to practice some control w dreaming, nightmares, etc. I've heard that sometimes it can be accomplished or improved. Take care!!!!

I'm rather used to nightmares and really vivid dreams. They can make me not feel rested, but once I wake up and clue in it was a dream I usually get a good laugh out of it... so I don't mind them as at least I get cheered up in the morning!

I don't coach.. but last year I ran a writer's guild and ran the Talent Show. This year I think I'm going to run a Drama Club, along with the Talent show. And a friend and I are going to try to start up a community club.

[comicgeek007]

I forgot deodorant today. HOW COULD I FORGET THAT?!?!

Having really bad anxiety about talking on the phone with strangers for working for my dad. There isn't much for me to do so he's tying to teach me that, but I literally almost had a panic attack just from practicing by talking to him.

I need to lie down. I feel like I'm going to pass out.

[roads]

So sorry, comicgeek, life oughtn't be so packed with "gotta remember" stuff.
Usually (but not always remember deodorant--so I used a 72-hr kind).
I CAN promise you, though, that few days pass when I don't leave home and forget something.

[SingDanceRunLife]

Today was another really good day at work. I got A LOT accomplished, and the best part? It was me and not me on a manic productivity spree! In fact, I think I've flatlined now at a good place, so I'm happy. I'm also not super anxious which I was earlier this week. I have lots to do though since I've got a full 8 hour work day tomorrow and I'm moving into my apartment Saturday and I'm not done packing.

[Nessa213]

I'm having a **** day, to be perfectly honest. Nothing to do with bipolar I think... just a ****** ****ing day. I'm mad and sad and frustrated and terrified and anxious all at the same time.

I've been pretty good the last few days (almost too good in a hypo kind of way... ya know how it goes... but meh). Now I'm just pissed off. And part of me just wants to go to sleep and get this day over with.

[Moreta]

I'm pretty meh today. I went walking last night, so I hurt this morning. Probably shouldn't have pushed myself that hard. I go to the chiro tonight, so hopefully that will help my back.

[comicgeek007]

I've gotten to the point where I can't tell the difference between skull-crushing boredom and mild depression. But I don't care enough to freak out about it. meh.

[Victoria'smom]

After a five hour nap I've been awake for 38 hrs. Miguel had his surgery and it was 2x as long as expected. Turns out the cyst had grown into his esophagus. The whole cyst was removed but now he's in the picu and won't be able to attempt to drink until at least Monday. He's got a feeding tube down his nose and a suction tube through his neck.

[lil_better_everyday]

Getting worried.

Started making art stuffs again after 12 years. Been waiting a long time for this. Should be pumped. But I'm feeling kinda down. Hopefully I wake up feeling better.

[TippPatt]

I've been gone from these pages for a while. Part of that has to do with a visit and part of that has to do with the normal 'miss therapy, forget about therapy' thing that happens.

This morning, I'm again up early. Since I've been gone, I've had two mornings where in semi-waking, because I didn't actually 'get up' I started to wet the bed. I can't tell you how frightening that is for me. It's like something has really gone wrong now. So, this morning, instead of chancing it, I got up.

lets see...got that whole "never ending story" going on in my brain..tapes just wont stop playing, had that dream again where I am being pursued and have to hunker down somewhere and defend myself against a band of angry maruders (wtf is that all about anyway?!?), and I am getting slightly depressed bcause its the last day/night of my daughters visit and she goes home (home is only 5 miles away in the next town) and I will again be alone.

when on a Fri that my husband has work off that he plans to have an oil change and an alignment on our car that isn't even two months old.( he is so on purpose with me) knowing he actually had plans to be with his girlfriend and me insisting on going along to get the car fixed.finding it amusing and challenging at the same time.

[A Red Panda]

Last night I was apparently a wee bit drunk :S Didn't notice it until after I was at home! Spent the evening chilling out in a hot tub though soooo that was a-ok with me! Am feeling tired this morning but otherwise good. Mild headache!

feeling kinda angry/hyper this a.m. At least I slept last night (with 2 klonopin and a 60 mg geodon!)

Had been pretty good, now ... not so much. Last night picking up refills, discovered that the particular generic of my main med that I've taken for years is unavailable. The vagaries of switching are scary, especially what with having a virtually non-existant safety net. So, refused it, then went back cowed, realizing my only other option was to go cold turkey (highly inadvisable for this one). Which is ironic, as I've been too afraid to actually take it, creating a de facto cold turkey. And because timing is everything... my "safety net" seems to have gone into shut down mode, which is to say no one would really be keeping an eye on me. Frozen with confusion, apathy and defeat.

[Victoria'smom]

I slept 10 good hrs. Found out Miguel has Hib in his cyst (same bacteria that causes meningitis). He's out of picu but in isolation. Monday we call in a script for us. Seem more stable kinda but there's little stress in the hospital.

Had a pretty good day today.

[lil_better_everyday]

The depression I thought was coming hasn't yet. That's good. Went to a party for my Aunts coming home from the hospital after a liver transplant. She is incredibly thin and frail, but is moving around and is getting that 'spark' back. Very happy to see that. Was pretty amped up earlier, but took my seroquel and hour ago so the sleep is creeping in. Feeling pretty men now.

[wiretwister]

finally seem to be getting a full nights sleep on new meds, very glad. need these pills to beat demon depression feel good pills causing sleeplessness