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#201
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Deleted Post
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#202
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Well my friend isn't replying to me. Maybe his phone is signed into facebook and he's busy. Oh well. We did have a fun two days.
I've been feeling pretty okay lately. I've been really busy trying to find my son a therapist and pdoc. I've called SOOOOO many places! Then he's in summer school and has struggled quite a bit, but he's pushing through and I HOPE he'll make it! "HE" isn't talking to me. He's "caving"- that is, going into his man cave. So I haven't seen him for a while. Eh- whatever. He now has decided that he's a sex addict. Eh- whatever again.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() anneo59, Anonymous32734, TippPatt
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![]() anneo59
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#203
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I had an incredibly vivid dream (at least I think it was). I was sitting here in my sofa as I suddenly felt awfully tired. Because of some strange impulse from deep inside of me I decided to die, so I stopped breathing and let death come to me. It was terrible and wonderful at the same time. Beyond that I don't remember anything, but I remember dreaming about this dream tonight. And actually I'm not sure if this dream of dying was a dream at all, or if all of it happened before falling asleep two days ago. The dream I had tonight was even more vivid, and I remember thinking everything looked so clear that if this were a dream I would be manic tomorrow. It was a dream but I am not manic. When I woke up, and was awake, I was so disoriented and fatigued that I moaned, but I didn't hear the sound of my own moaning.
![]() Still in a bad place, sorry for not getting back to people. ![]() |
![]() anneo59, Anonymous45023, Anonymous53876, emgreen, TippPatt
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#204
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The "only" thing I am dealing with right now is the part where I cant seem to concentrate on tasks...kinda ADHD but I know Idon't have it.
I will start dealing with many things next week that will surely trigger me in so many ways...and I have decided that I will not succumb. Now granted, I have no idea how I am going to accomplish this feat, but I have my head up, shoulders squared, and looking it dead in the eye. I am SICK of this $#it and I am NOT gonna take it anymore! ![]() |
![]() anneo59, Nessa213, TippPatt
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![]() anneo59
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#205
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I too have a task filled day, but so far I seem to be stuck to the interwebs and the morning Sunday shows.
I'm sure hoping the day comes about as task filled. Maybe during commercials?
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#206
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Quote:
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![]() anneo59, Anonymous32734
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![]() anneo59
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#207
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I'm all over the place today. Got those... radios... playing in my head. My eyes keep going in and out of focus, kind of like someone keeps taking a 2 by 4 to my head out of nowhere. My headache I woke up with went away. Yay to that. Could this be that I recently switched to contacts (at least the eye focus part)? I really have no idea.
But I AM in a good mood. I cleaned the shower... did some more laundry. Going to hit up some wicked vacuuming. And then go get some Starbucks. (because coffee is exactly what I need.)
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.age: 34 female .bipolar I .psychosis .panic/anxiety disorder Seroquel XR 100mg Labetalol for high blood pressure
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![]() anneo59
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#208
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Quote:
I had 10 hours of sleep last night. And woke up with the same headache and still feeling exhausted! But I'm not sure if the exhaustion is from the headache. And I can't tell if this stuff is from the lamotrigine, or if I've managed to catch a cold. I've got that headache, exhaustion, a runny nose, sore ears, and had a few days with a sore throat. The temperature here has been quite hot but then got cool again, and so I've been in an out going from hot to cold. Which traditionationally will give me a cold. But it's also been the first week of 25mg which was what my pdoc wanted to start me with (I actually started with 6 days on 12.5mg instsead...)
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
![]() Anonymous32734, Anonymous45023
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![]() anneo59
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#209
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Quote:
![]() I hope that you feel better soon. Catching a cold in the middle of the summer is never fun. On the upside, I'm glad to hear that it's not ungodly hot where you are anymore.
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.age: 34 female .bipolar I .psychosis .panic/anxiety disorder Seroquel XR 100mg Labetalol for high blood pressure
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#210
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Oh, I came here to say that I'd completed a few of my tasks today, but I've been sidelined. Poppie has decided to take a nap so the tasks I had in mind would make noise and wake him up, so I have to stop. Which, I really don't mind because I'm sweating like a pig!
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#211
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So far, after a week of feeling abandoned and without resources, and after a year of serious health issues, this past few days has been really nice. I am thankful, as loved ones doing ok, good med report ok, and have had some laughs and fun, as well as getting some things done. And reached out to some folks I hadn't in a while, and it was mostly a good experience. The best to you all!
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![]() Anonymous45023, TippPatt, Travelinglady
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#212
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I'm doing ok today. Didn't do much besides go to work. I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to quit my temp job, mid august, when my husband goes back to school. Will have a lot less stress then. I'm going to be taking over my husband's job at the bakery, so I'll still have that. We're coming into a lot of money for expenses while my husband is in school, so I don't need to worry about work. Is nice. I am very grateful for it.
I have a busy day tomorrow with a pdoc appt and a back dr appt. I'm also going to call a chiro to see if they can help with my back. Sometime seriously has to be done. I'm tired of being in pain all the time. |
![]() anneo59, TippPatt, Travelinglady, Victoria'smom
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#213
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Moreta I'd hug you but my hug button is missing, so
![]() Anne - that is so great - I'm so glad you're having a good time. We all love it when the times are good and the ills we live with daily are pushed to the back for a while. In fact, we live for those moments. I'm so glad you're in that mood. Cuz I am too !! My niece and her family are coming to visit Poppie - and I'm so happy. I get to sort of be a grandparent while they're here. Instead of my two real grand daughters, I get to play grandparent type person to her three boys. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee That's set me up to be all happy happy joy joy. I do hope it lasts for the entire time they're here. I also have a Dr's appointment in the middle of that too - so I hope that's a good thing. Right now, I came here because there was this guy who was trying to bait me on my facebook page. I didn't want to blow my happy and get irritated (nice way to put it) in telling him off. So, instead, I simply closed the link. YEAH ME !! Now, I'm going to do 'something' for an hour or so and then go to bed. Nite Nite Ya'll, sleep well my lovelies. ![]() 'puter officially OFF
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![]() anneo59
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#214
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I'm doing okay. It'll actually have been a month next week since I saw my therapist--because I had to cancel an appointment, though. My meds seem to be keeping me pretty even keeled. If I could just get my physical health better, then I'd be really well off!
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![]() anneo59, TippPatt
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#215
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prayers and well wishes for that, Payne!
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![]() Travelinglady
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![]() Travelinglady
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#216
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Quote:
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![]() mamawifeandmanic, TippPatt
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![]() mamawifeandmanic
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#217
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Very tired. Guess I'll go take a nap.
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Bipolar 2 (in remission), anorexia (in remission), and trichotillomania, also have conversion disorder that seems to be rearing its ugly head again. 100mg Lamictal |
#218
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Today I'm on a business trip and typing from a hotel. These things are always weird for me to go to and I'm CONSTANTLY worried that my internal censor will fail me at the worst possible time. The dinner that the sales Rep took us to was very nice. I may have had a few too many glasses of wine. Oops.
And tomorrow we're turning right back around for a 5 hour drive back home. On the way here it was 4 of us. And the guy driving didn't turn on the radio. At ALL. And not to mention that the 4 of us are probably 4 of the quietest people in the company. So awkward. I would have put headphones on would it have not been outright rude.
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.age: 34 female .bipolar I .psychosis .panic/anxiety disorder Seroquel XR 100mg Labetalol for high blood pressure
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![]() mamawifeandmanic, TippPatt
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#219
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I was go-go-go today, especially since I drank TONS of coffee, and later in the day (I had to do a pre-employment drug screen and I wanted to make sure I would have to pee)...so it's now almost 2am and I'm just getting in bed. But my meds will kick in in 10-20 minutes and I'll be out for 7 hours so it's all good. I cleaned up about half the room I share with my sister tonight and learned The Cup Song from Pitch Perfect. Yeah...right now, I need to lay off the coffee, at least in the afternoon. And I may have to up my Seroquel (pdoc said to use my judgement on it) since tonight is the last night she's having me take Klonopin for sleep on the regular, from tomorrow on it'll be PRN. We'll see. But yeah, I felt great most of the day. Had a bad time after dinner due to ED, but I distracted myself with The Cup Song and felt a hell of a lot better.
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![]() Nessa213, TippPatt
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#220
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It's freakin me how my symptoms are most evident right before I sleep and right as I wake up. I had racing thoughts just as I was falling asleep, and then very dark and intensely demoralizing dream thoughts as I woke up.
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![]() Anonymous45023, TippPatt
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#221
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Yay!! Woke up to emails saying all my art stuffs I ordered should be here by Thursday!! And I kicked *** on a phone interview yesterday and have an in-person follow up with them on Thursday!
Thursday could be a fantastic day! And this weeks marks three straight of feeling relatively normal. Maybe a little up, but with life improving for me, it's understandable. A couple bouts of severe anxiety, but thankfully they didn't lead to any extended ups or downs. I might have found the correct combo of, for lack of a better word, mindfulness and drugs! Or this is just a natural lull; either way, I'm thankful for it.
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“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.” ― Charles Bukowski |
![]() A Red Panda, Anonymous45023, Nessa213, TippPatt
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#222
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Went to bed last night at 10. For the first time in a long time, as my eyes were crossing from being tired, I actually listened to my body and didn't fight to stay up.
Slept well, woke up aroung 6:30ish - put on the coffee pot and came to share some of my Antonio story. I've needed to do that for so long, and I'm so happy it's beginning for me. I'm not afraid of the story, or the shame it will bring me. I know many will call me a total idiot for not seeing it sooner, but it is what it is and eventually, I have to come clean about it and tell what I believe actually happened. So, I feel great so far. The house is quiet. People are out mowing their lawns and the sun is shining. It's a good day so far and I do hope it stays that way. ![]() Happy Day everyone. ![]()
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#223
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I am so up and down. I've been having anxiety over things like the mental health guy, and the tattoo artist - both of whom did finally get back to me this week... but I was having all these feelings since school let out of feeling abandoned by EVERYONE and these two strangers got lumped in the mix - I even was feeling let down when I had trouble contact an optometrist!
I have been going from in a good enough mood to crying about NOTHING at all. It's getting on my nerves. But the tiredness is getting better, and mostly I just have a stuffy head that feels like a cold. Unsure if it's a cold or side effects from lamictal, so I'm going with cold. I was also a bit wired yesterday when I went out for dinner with a friend - the guy who informed me he was DX'd with antisocial PD. It was an interesting meal, for lack of other words. And my bathroom ceiling is going to cave in. There's massive water damage from the apartment upstairs. I let the maintence woman know about it ASAP and soemone is to be coming over today... but still. I'm paranoid. I can't really use my washroom right now! What has me PARTICULARLY annoyed is that above me lives a family of 5 in a 1-bedroom apartment. They're soooo loud and they actually THUNDER around up there (no joke. They shake my bedroom light and my cupboards). So... yeah. I'm scared to use my toilet and I am going to use the shower at a friend's apartment today. And I've got my phone appointment with my EAP today. I'm dreading it because I don't like being on the phone, and my head is stuffy so hearing him is going to be a challenge. And if the workers are here, I'll ahve to leave my own apartment. At least i"ve got keys for a friend's apartment because I'm babysitting it. I suppose I will have to go there. Augh!
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
![]() Anonymous45023
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#224
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I don't want to tweek your paranoia, but I do want you to call your doctor today after reading that page. Especially if you think your 'cold' may have something to do with this drug. Promise?
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#225
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I feel great today.
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__________________
Bipolar 2 (in remission), anorexia (in remission), and trichotillomania, also have conversion disorder that seems to be rearing its ugly head again. 100mg Lamictal |
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