After taking both dogs for a walk and doing deadheading for 15 minutes, I needed to change my mood from "sad" to "content."

Forcing myself to do stuff I don't want to do when I'm depressed really does work, and I need to remind myself of that. I was encouraged to do that my coming on PC. I am really grateful for this board!

[A Red Panda]

That's great newgal! It's great when we can alleviate the mood somewhat by getting ourselves to go out of whatever zone feels comfortable!

[gayleggg]

Severly depressed this morning. Made it to work but not sure how I'm going to get through this day. The usual fake smiles are not working this morning. I'm lucky if I can mumble good morning. Maybe the day will improve.
Gayle

[superstenoman]

Originally Posted by Roadie

Christina86 closed the original thread begun by Shattered Sanity because it had exceeded the 100 page/1000 post limit. We're still bipolar, though, so we still need out check-in thread!

Everyone take best care as the week rolls on ...

Roadie

====================================================
Roadie, I am new to this site. What is this 100 page/1000 post limit"? Yet another rule? And what, specifically, do those words in quotes above mean?

[A Red Panda]

I tend to tell people that I slept horribly and don't feel well due to that. Then they don't expect quite as much!

I've woken up feeling rather down on myself but also impatient to go out somewhere - but my friend has an appointment and I don't know what time, just that she isn't awake yet. I feel like I've been a bad friend while I've been here, but I also just really want to go out and I feel like I'm being held back a lot because I am trying to be a good friend.

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

That's great newgal! It's great when we can alleviate the mood somewhat by getting ourselves to go out of whatever zone feels comfortable!

I know! I love it when that happens. It makes me feel there IS something I can do about my depression while I wait for viibryd to kick in. (This doesn't work for me for severe depression though.)

[Moreta]

well, i come into the office to get yelled at this morning by my boss, cause i made a mistake on one analysis I did. I rarely make mistakes. It made me so angry. She's mad that she has to explain it to the owner and she said her stomach hurt because of it. What a way to guilt trip a person.

I am so tired today. I guess it's from the latuda. Hopefully the side effect will go away. My alarm went off for like 3 mins, before my husband finally yelled and shook me to get me out of bed. I was having a dream that he was supposed to rub my back when the alarm went off and I was waiting for him to turn it off. lol.

TGIF....I can't stand my job anymore.

[Moreta]

Somehow I posted twice when the site crashed on me. weird.

[anneo59]

still feeling overall "sunshiny" but know it's not mania; am also feeling cautious and slightly overwhelmed with some things I need to do. Not gonna try to overly multitask, that's for sure, when I don't have to! Wishing everyone a Happy Friday and a good weekend!

[wildflowerchild25]

i'm high as hell on life today! manic for sure. trying to contain myself so i don't go too crazy.

[Skittles56]

Third straight week of feeling good after almost a year of depression (came close to going into the hospital). It's hard to tell whether I'm hypomanic, or whether I'm just feeling good. Time will tell.

Downward spiral...can't get happy or even just blah. Hypo has packed up and left for now. I mean it left quick, like the feds were after it.
I have to bartend a party tonight so hopefully I can muster up the party boy in my and give 'em a good show.
I can crash and burn later on.

finding that I am adopting a 'who cares' attitude about most things. I've started sleeping in late and that is usually an indication of my cycle leading towards depression. Even though I know this, I don't really care! I play so much in the 'normal' world that times like now I really do believe that I don't have a problem... I guess kind of like pinnochio believing he is a real boy lol.

but my 'I don't care' attitude has led me to some really cool things lately...
more joking around...
more laughing...

all of the things that I need to combat this stupid phase that I am in.

I cycle still.. constantly...
but if anyone were to ask me, I would say no.
would say that I am fine.

why would I do that? I don't let people in.

I think that's cuz once I focus on it, it all becomes too real and that is triggering for me. nah, it's better for me to not care bout it and keep it light.

so that's where I am in my thinking and in life.

[gayleggg]

I'm going to my daughter's today to spend the weekend. This should make me very happy, since I haven't seen her since May, but I'm feeling so depressed i don't want to even go. I need to discuss some things with her about the future and what a mess I've made of my life. Not looking forward to the discussion. I've left myself open for financial disaster due to no health insurance that I want to plan what to do with the money I still have. I want to pre-plan my funeral. I want her input, but while she is logical and methodical in her thinking and not crazy like her mom, I'm afraid I'm going to be a wreck. I just want to make sure when I die she doesn't have to pay for my funeral, so I want to plan it now and go ahead a pay for it now while i still have the money. I have it logically thought out but not sure I can actually talk about it without becoming a basket case. It doesn't help that at the time I'm un-medicated for my depression and I am severly depressed right now, but not suicidal. I'll be glad when I can get back on my meds. I'm sorry I'm just rambling. I just needed to get it out before I get to her house.
Gayle

[Confusedinomicon]

I may work in fast food but the ppl are amazing.

****** backache sucks.

[TippPatt]

I feel compelled to come and check in. My last entry was about the high I was riding. I've now gone into the days of sleeplessness that follows the high but portends the low that is coming. Within this time, I get snappy with anyone who presumes to direct me for any reason, whether good for me or good for them.

Yes, it happened today which was one of the keys that told me this episode was about to begin. Right on time, here comes the all nighters. I used to paint and within this time of my cycles I got the most accomplished. Looking at those paintings now, you can see the dysfunction my neurons were going through. Some days it amazes me that if one looks, one can see the thought patterns that aren't completely connected. In art, they term that genius; in day to day living, it's dysfunction.

Part of this cycle is coming to terms with the trauma associated with the tooth extractions and learning to live with an upper plate. I have to give props to my Poppie. It's nice to have had an experienced 'user' to turn to with the strange questions that come up when learning to use such an unusual appliance. He's been just great. I'm sure that being able to help me, and his being obviously happy with my trusting him with those questions, throws him for a loop when the 'other side' comes up and I snap because of some innocuous question put to me which was meant with no harm at all. I feel such guilt when I think of that in reflective moments.

So, to sum up me at this moment: I can't sleep; my gums hurt; I'm at a place where I want zero interruptions; and, I'm wary of the down that is coming. Usually I would expect the 'down' about five to seven days from now. However, with the trauma, it could come sooner or later. I'm banking on sooner. Especially with the prospect of my disability hearing scheduled for August 14th. By then I think I'll be lucky to avoid being Baker Acted in Tampa, Florida.

Damn, I just realized - four days - only four days. ::

[TippPatt]

Looks like a bunch of us are coming to the downward turn. That tells me we're all going to get hit much harder than we normally do.

I bet it's in the stars. Next week is probably going to be a doozie. Good luck everyone. If you're like me, and you really dislike the pressure the world puts on you to continue on while all you want to do is hide, then I want you to know that I really do feel for you.

I have three commitments next week, all important to the point of I HAVE TO, and no time for cave dwelling.

Good luck to everyone.
Ride it through and no getting off while the car is still in motion.
That goes for me as well.

[TippPatt]

Originally Posted by bjjshorts

If any of you don't have some exercise regiment now I highly recommend coming up with one that fits into your schedule and physical capabilities. It's the most consistently relieving experience that deals with all aspects of being bipolar and the symptons of the med's are easier to deal with as well.

I'd love to hear more about this. I'm thinking of doing just that, but with a very bad back, I'd like to know some suggestions as well as how you were able to 'push through' during your ups and downs to keep on keeping on.

Me, I have trouble with that. Some insight would be great. How about a thread on that topic, new guy????

BTW, welcome Shorts, nice to meet you.

Still falling into the depression pit. I hate it. Being hypo just allows me to be "happy" but it also leads me to forget some important things and spend money I cannot afford to spend.
I hate meds, but I hate the depression more. Its exhausing to battle this funk days in a row.
I am gonna have to call and get appointment again and get meds again. I feel like a failure cause I can't beat this on my own...more depression. Ugh. Just frickin Ugh.

[A Red Panda]

I totalled up how much money I've spent on my shopping (which, is NOT a hypo spending spree as I only get out of town like... twice a year really. And we have nothing in town, so I purchase a CRAPTON when I get out!).... I've spent $1400 so far, but that's including my hair appointment before I left, and it includes all my food.

This, however, is my rather spetacularly jaw-dropping list of purchases:

-2 dresses, a sweater, and a tshirt (was an awesome deal, the two dresses BEFORE taxes would cost $250, but it was at an outlet and the total for all four was $110)
- Stuff from Lush (twice!)
- Books (5 books for students, about 6-7 for me, a bipolard DBT workbook thingy, and one on terrariums). Also at the bookstore I have purchased: a camera-pencil sharpener, 2 budda buddies (1 for me, 1 for my class, and 1 for our school counsellor), and a journal.
- 3 seasons of Misfits and Mario Galaxy 2
- yoga pants, 2 pairs of jeans, a pair of capris, a long skirt
- a card game (Cards Against Humanity, if anyone is interested!)
- two sets of fridge magnets, some High-Five Sticky notes, a set of coasters, a reallllly cute tea-infuser, a set of lttle fossils for my class, a cool fossil for myself
- 9 shirts I think
- 3 pajama bottoms
- 2 nice quality bras
- about 30 pairs of underwear
- another dress
- a pair of flip flips and a pair of rather cheap work shoes

Today, however, I am going to watch CATS which I am soooo excited to have discovered was playing here..... (I've always wanted to watch it, since I was 19 and someone told me that if I was to be represented by ANY show... that CATS would be it....... I'm not really sure about what that says about me!). And then I'm going to a food festival.

Depressed. Feeling fat and gross.

[SunriseCoffee]

Feeling fat and gross as well, but trying really hard not to let it get me down!

[wildflowerchild25]

Feeling manic but it has turned on me. Can't sit still can't concentrate can't get my horrible dream out of my head and all I wanna do is what the dream was. Fck I hate this but I have to pretend like I'm ok....

[A Red Panda]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

can't get my horrible dream out of my head and all I wanna do is what the dream was.

I don't know what the horrible dream is, but I'm guessing it involves self-harm right?

Turn your dream around. When it starts out like normal... twist it. Warp it around somehow.

Like... when I'm at some of my worst stages, I definitely will daydream about suicide. When I NOTICE that I'm daydreaming about that... I refocus them, and instead I let my little brain have all sorts of other death-daydreams... but they'll be ways that aren't suicide. Maybe I'll daydream that I got some really horrible disease, or tred to stop a robbery or something. Who knows what it'll be, but I'll twist it. So that I'm SOMEWHAT indulging the impulse, but I'm making t into one that I can't act on.

[redbandit]

I'm really tired as I didn't get any sleep last night. I've had a pretty bad week, but feeling a little better after I hung out with friends last night.