[RenjiCat]

I think I'm better today than yesterday. I got dressed and went to a job fair in town, went to the store and got some contacts, and I'm about to eat. So yay me! I only slept 2 hours last night though. Trying to talk myself into calling the doctor... I don't have a job or insurance but the last time I was there (about 3 months ago) we completed paperwork so that I could continue getting help without paying...some government/state program.. I want to call, but I can't. Does that even make sense??

[Andysmom]

Originally Posted by RenjiCat

I think I'm better today than yesterday. I got dressed and went to a job fair in town, went to the store and got some contacts, and I'm about to eat. So yay me! I only slept 2 hours last night though. Trying to talk myself into calling the doctor... I don't have a job or insurance but the last time I was there (about 3 months ago) we completed paperwork so that I could continue getting help without paying...some government/state program.. I want to call, but I can't. Does that even make sense??

I know exactly what you mean. You know you need to do something but you just physically can't. At least you had a good productive day. That's something to be proud of!

Originally Posted by AnxietyGirl916

Still down, but that's to be expected. My depressive episodes always last weeks and this one is just starting. Guess I need to start looking for a therapist.

I"m so sorry you are feeling down. I say yes...get a therapist, don't know what I'd do without mine.

Feeling melancholy now, been writing a lot, not arguing with myself as much but talking about my guy from when I was manic in 2006 and how much I miss him. I thought I'd gotten over that two weeks ago but I guess not. This hypomanic episode with its hypersexual note to it reminded me of him, its been a while since I've had one like it. Other than 2010, the rest have been mixed and downs. Not much to miss there.

Got lucky with my therapist, called her Monday at 415 to say I was having manicy behavior, got an appt for Tues at 115, and made an appt for Thurs at 11 for a checkup. Good thing since I've already had a swing. She mentioned we have to respect the illness because it is so serious. I always end up saying 'what's up with me that I do this?' and she always reminds me...its an episode. I didn't do this on purpose. Not sure what I'd do without my therapist.

[venusss]

Been to Prague. A chance of very part time job. Can't wait to get my keys from my new place.

Manicky. sped up. in happy way. Like i was on extended release of ecstasy.

today's been a mixture, really

extremely depressed in the morning, and this afternoon managed to watch half a movie before my voices started- i'll watch the end later if i can manage it

[swheaton]

On another med. My sleep cocktail has now Seroquel added. Not sure if this s going to help...I'm a bit down about it. Sick sick sick of meds.

same sinario like most days, really. not an ounce of rest last night- just sitting here listening to music now

not quite sure how i feel yet.. it's still early

[A Red Panda]

Well now.

I had roughly a day from hell. Then went to therapy and couldn't tell you anything that we talked about except that my T doesn't really think that I want to change. I wasn't listening as I was trying to not have a meltdown.

Had a friend pick me up as we had plans as he had a rough weekend. Instead of going to his place like we normally would he wanted to come to mine - I'vel ived in this flat for almost a year and he's never set foot in it. So he came over while I have a houseguest here.

I got hammered.

I then put myself to bed without informing either of them because I was going to meltdown, so I got into my room and proceeded TO melt down.

And emailed my T in the middle of it. I mostly typed the same thing about a million times and didn't make TOO many horrendous typos. I did however type out half-thoughts and then recounted bits of the conversation when my friends finally clued in that I was MIA.

:S

[venusss]

I think I'm on a way to make myself real unpopular here. Oh well.

Need to think of concept of my final work for this course I am doing. WIsh there was something to do, but back in the countryside... alas. I guess I could go out and get rained on?

I had a good day, another stable day and actually left the house today. Tomorrow is going to be a better day, I am going to work my horse, I am not going to let myself out of it, I will go and work her and I will be mindful while doing it.

[Moreta]

Rethinking the whole going back to school thing next year. Not really sure that I want to do it, since my brain isn't functioning at 100% yet. So maybe if I'm not going back to school, I can have a baby instead. I really want to have one, and my husband really wants a kid, so maybe that's what I should do. It's a big decision, so maybe I should talk it over with my t first. Not looking forward to the fertility treatments though.

ended up on the phone to samaritans

was talking to someone online and i was gonna have this big meltdown- and i told her, look, i don't know what to do (insert some swear words)

she's like, well, i don't know how to support people with bipolar... is their a support line you can call to chat?. i've got to go to work anyway!

she convinced me eventually... it's the support line, best thing at the moment you can do

i'll give her credit, she didon't leave until i was safely connected with someone

so yeah.... having a rough time

[Blue_Bird]

Doing pretty good, got my medication adjusted finally

[venusss]

gotten into very awkward situation. yay me. not

[RenjiCat]

I have mixed emotions today. Still very depressed..can't get off the couch. I don't know how much more I can take. Yet at the same time I find myself a little hopeful... I called my doctor today and got an appointment but it's not until Oct 28 which doesn't sound too far off yet sounds like forever. She suggested I check myself into the hospital

Still feeling melancholy, my T would croak if she knew I did not go to my son's house tonight and instead sent a message to someone that was probly a mistake but cant be taken back. Too bad I meant it. It wasnt bad but impulsive. At least I did get a cbt book for bp and hub gets home in the morning so I should be ok. I hate the downswing of bp. I'm not crying! Just quiet. And trying to read, cant concentrate. Too many what ifs going through my head. I hope I didnt just ruin my friendship.

not doing well at all.

just don't ask..

[AnxietyGirl916]

Glad it's Friday but not going to be happy if I get stuck with the crisis phone all weekend. I had scheduled someone to cover my shift so I could relax and he now has the flu. I already made plans. I know I can't fault him for being sick but I can't help but be upset. I REALLY hope he comes to work today.

I am so forgetful today! Its really doing my head in!

[Moreta]

Yay, it's Friday! I'm only working until 11 today, b/c I have to take my husband to the airport. He's going to FL this weekend to pick up a car. I'm going to camp with my mom b/c I hate being alone. We're taking the dog with us. Should be fun this weekend. They're having a fish fry on Saturday night. I plan on spending the weekend in the hot tub.

Started wellbutrin XL today - - am worried about it potentially increasing my anxiety. Hoping the additional dopamine/norepinephrine will improve my depressed mood though.

Already went to pharmacy and grocery store today. Will walk the dogs with my husband soon. Then at noon it's facilitating a DBSA meeting at the county jail.

today wasn't so bad after all

a lot better than yesterday... even if i couldn't really function until about mid day

[Blackberryrocks11]

Today I am doing fine. I slept for 6 hours and for that I am grateful. Overall my mood has settled...if only the nightly tango with sleep would improve accordingly!

Wishing everyone a nice day.

[lil_better_everyday]

I always seem to end up back here when I'm either really high or really low. Didn't wanna make my own thread.

Spent all my available cash on a bright shiny new toy and accessories for said toy when hypo earlier this week. Instead of paying bills. Now I'm coming down and feel incredibly silly for it. I'll probably start crying when it gets here. I turned 31 yesterday. First sober birthday since I was 16 (outside of my 21st spent in Kuwait, which I more than made up for in Vegas when I got back). Friends kept calling and I kept ingnoring their calls. Now today is my beat friend since kindergartens birthday and I can't decide which will make me feels worse, do what I feel like and stay home while blowing him (and everyone else) off, or go and feel awkward and terrible.

Such is life.

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