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#376
Oct 07, 2014, 03:13 PM
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 my mind seems to be only focusing on negative thoughts, not just one but a number of them, it's like one big rushmind races Last edited by Wren_; Oct 07, 2014 at 04:36 PM. |
 Anonymous45023, happywoman, Hopeful Camel, Pikku Myy
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#377
Oct 07, 2014, 04:28 PM
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Depression... still...need a pick me up.
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin  |
| Anonymous45023, happywoman, Hopeful Camel, Pikku Myy
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#379
Oct 07, 2014, 05:58 PM
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Feeling puny today. Little grey and overcast, like the sky. Think that the lithium is starting to kick in, because in spite of feeling blah, I don't feel despondent. Not feeling crazy anxious, either. Just grey. Is that the color "normal" is?
__________________
Bipolar I, C-PTSD Lamictal 400mg, Zyprexa 15mg, Topomax 100mg, Elavil 50mg |
| happywoman, Pikku Myy
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 happywoman
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#380
Oct 07, 2014, 06:17 PM
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This is strang. Thought I responded to this thread but not showing. I know I am in a mixed state at moment and may have thought I did but did not. This really messed up. I think I can label six to ten moods I am feeling simutaneously. Hope I am not the only one or getting worst.
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when people try and crush your soul, remember that only you can damage yourself. |
| Anonymous45023, happywoman, Hopeful Camel, Pikku Myy
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#381
Oct 07, 2014, 11:23 PM
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Today I feel the backlash of yesterday. Exhausted, emotionally drained and do t care much about anything. I am trying to find a positive somewhere, I guess today I can be thankful for my Pdoc that called me back because I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown this morning and calmed me down. Will this get better? I am supposed to take Lithium, but I am scared of the side effects. Any advice? Should I go untreated? My Pdoc says I need to stabilize. Thoughts?
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| Anonymous45023, happywoman, Hopeful Camel, Pikku Myy
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#382
Oct 07, 2014, 11:51 PM
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Today is better.
(Last night was not great. Among other things, had tough time in kitchen. How can the positive action of resolving to make some food go so wrong? (Rhetorical question: does depression make food spoil faster? Ugh.) Went to psych appt. today. Had some crazy life-sh*** rain down over the last few weeks, was having all kinds of conflicting mood indicators and then (but of course) went and did (unauthorized  ) med adjustment. Last few days made it pretty clear it was high time to get in there. (Ok, it should have been clear before that, but still…) Got got some med-taking time adjustments, ok'd on the med experiment (with "but watch for"s of course) and advised to get back on the mood charting. It was good. Lots to think about. Hopefully it will help get me back out of the ditch. |
| happywoman, Hopeful Camel, Pikku Myy
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#383
Oct 08, 2014, 07:24 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar I, C-PTSD Lamictal 400mg, Zyprexa 15mg, Topomax 100mg, Elavil 50mg |
| happywoman, Pikku Myy, Sillywabbit
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#384
Oct 08, 2014, 07:27 AM
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Woke up feeling sad, a bit scared about what I have done, now that I up and quit my job. Not sure I can get a sole practice started, especially when I feel as low as I do right now. I'm the walking wounded.
__________________
Bipolar I, C-PTSD Lamictal 400mg, Zyprexa 15mg, Topomax 100mg, Elavil 50mg |
| Anonymous45023, happywoman, Pikku Myy
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#385
Oct 08, 2014, 03:09 PM
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Everything is annoying today.. Abilify (I'm assuming) kept me up ALL Night and now I'm at work and not very pleasant lol
__________________
"I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls." ~ Barbra Streisand <3 DX: Major Depressive Disorder ADHD Generalized Anxiety Disorder Meds: Ativan 1 MG Viibryd 40 MG Adderall 20 MG |
| happywoman
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#386
Oct 08, 2014, 06:03 PM
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****ing hating myself. Rollercoaster going on for a week now. Aimlessly confused. Having really bad thoughts about ending myself now, but no idea what the source is. I'm just ****ing fed up. It's all so stupid and pointless...
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| happywoman, Hopeful Camel
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#387
Oct 08, 2014, 07:29 PM
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Well, I think I'm saddling manic and hypo manic as I go from more euphoric to more agitated many times throughout the day.
I think adding DepakoteER has helped a bit but I think we got more adjusting to be done when I see my NP next. |
| happywoman
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#388
Oct 08, 2014, 10:06 PM
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Doing well, thank goodness. Though the days are getting darker now, we are waking up in the dark and night comes quickly after work is done. I am starting to feel the pressure of shadow but it's not as bad as usual because of my meds. (insert love of my meds) My SAD can get pretty bad but hopefully it will be subtle this year. We'll see.
My family is going through some intense, sensitive stuff right now. I am nervous about how it's going to turn out.
__________________
Bipolar II / GAD / SAD / PMDD ------------ Prozac 30mg, Wellbutrin 150mg, Latuda 40mg |
| happywoman
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#389
Oct 08, 2014, 10:29 PM
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Cycling almost daily. Up for a day or two, then down and some mixed in between. I'm thinking about getting back on meds. Been off of them for about 8 years now.
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| happywoman
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#390
Oct 08, 2014, 10:59 PM
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Had an OK day. Talked over some important decisions with the tdoc.
Mostly, thinking how glad I am that I found PC and the bipolar forum. Lots of great people. Thanks for your help. 
__________________
Cyclothymia + perimenopause = homicidal road rage Right now: Tegretol 800mg, EffexorXR 375mg (150 + 225, really confuses the pharmacy) |
| happywoman, Hopeful Camel
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#391
Oct 09, 2014, 01:10 AM
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Today was a less down day. I took some Advil PM last night so I got some really good sleep which was much needed. I am really focusing and channeling my energy to find a positive in things. Trying to appreciate every breath I take. I am very thankful for finding this forum, everyone here is so kind and helpful
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| happywoman, Hopeful Camel, Pikku Myy
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#392
Oct 09, 2014, 08:38 AM
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Saw pdoc yesterday. She updated my primary diagnosis to Crisis Response Plan, with its own billing code. My actual dx is not even listed. wtf?
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| Pikku Myy
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#393
Oct 09, 2014, 11:17 AM
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Very overwhelmed at work
Told my boss that I will do my best, but cannot meet his deadlines He was okay with that I think he was okay with it because there are rumours that I am looking for another job
__________________
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? Elvis Costello |
| Pikku Myy
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#394
Oct 09, 2014, 11:19 AM
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Being crushed by life
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
| Anonymous100330, Anonymous45023, Hopeful Camel, Pikku Myy, Sillywabbit
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#395
Oct 09, 2014, 01:00 PM
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I don't go into work until 4pm tonight so it's nice to have the morning to be quiet and rest. I slept in this morning, made coffee and am now sitting outside in my deck soaking up the sun and listening to the birds sing and chirp. I have a Tdoc appt before work at 2 so I am looking forward to releasing my anger and emotions and figuring out how to deal with them.
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What would you attempt to do, if you knew you could not fail? - unknown Borderline Personality Disorder Bipolar 1 |
| Pikku Myy
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#396
Oct 09, 2014, 02:25 PM
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Good day today. Did my devotionals, wrote a blog entry, made brownies for my husband's poker party, packed for a 3 day church retreat, got a shower. That's quite a bit for me.
__________________
Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
| Pikku Myy
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#397
Oct 10, 2014, 07:31 AM
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I'm bouncing from one bad idea to another. Feeling very fragile and scared. Got an interview for a high power job in another town.
Should make me happy, right? But I'm petrified that I can't handle the stress. This is why I quit my job in the first place. I feel like I'm going in circles. I hate myself.
__________________
Bipolar I, C-PTSD Lamictal 400mg, Zyprexa 15mg, Topomax 100mg, Elavil 50mg |
| Anonymous45023, Honeydew1, Pikku Myy
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#398
Oct 10, 2014, 08:25 AM
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Feeling pretty good this AM despite being up a couple hours with bad gastritis episode. Otherwise I'm ok.
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| Pikku Myy
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#399
Oct 10, 2014, 08:59 AM
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My second night off Abilify and all is well. What a relief! Enjoying Fall.
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| Pikku Myy
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#400
Oct 10, 2014, 10:30 AM
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I'm actually doing really well. Fully out of depression and not cycling toward hypomania. Finally learning to achieve some real stability.
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Dx Bipolar II 2014 -- currently in remission Stay calm, be kind, have hope, love lots, and be well. "Listen to the deep voice of your soul. Do not be distracted by the voice of your mind." -- Caitlin Matthews[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] |
| Pikku Myy
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