Story time

Please understand that by IP I'm referring to 4-6 weeks in a private facility - not just 72 hours of stabilzation care. A real treatment center is the way to go.

I'm proud of you MM. You're one of the ones who has always helped me in the past two years and I would hate to see anything happen to you. From reading this thread I agree that IP is the best route. You need to be safe.

I totally agree with Christina, also Welbutrin gave me pshycotic episodes and i would hate to see that happen to you.

I'm going to call the IP unit. I can't do 4-6 weeks. I'm bringing a journal, poem book, shampoo, soap, luffa, pjs & 3 sets of clothing anything I'm missing?

Omg just go

MM, based on the incredibly long stretch of non-stable you are (I don't think I've noticed you having any longer-term stability yet..) a longer stretch would be beneficial. You can't just put a bandaid on something so serious. You should try to stay somewhere long enough that you'll actually be committed to your medication instead of constantly playing around with them. If you just stay for a few days, you're just going to go back home and go RIGHT back to where you are. Do your family a favour and actually take care of yourself.

My insurance will only pay until I'm stable. However I'm sure with my thick record they can make a case.

Just sending some positive thoughts your way. I know this can't be easy, but think what it will be like to get those voices to shut up, to not have to mess around with your meds on your own just trying to feel better, never knowing what problems that will cause. I really believe this could be the decision that saves you so much heartbreak, pain, and suffering. You can get to a better place and what you're doing will help you get there. You're being really brave and I'm rooting for you!

In the past 4 to 6 weeks you have been on here admitting to suicidal thoughts and homicidal thoughts towards your husband and son. You are always struggling with Paranoia and report lots of psychosis. You go days unable to drink and lose the ability to understand English ? I have always struggled with these things but am more vocal about it as therapy goes on. I started the thread because if I got the idea out of my head then it wont repeat. I was less vocal before because I no longer write these thoughts to my new T.

Say your husband or son reported these things to you, what would you do ? Tell them to tell pdoc and T which I do.

How much longer do you think you can be safe? ???? I've never ever tried to commit suicide and have only done shallow injuries to myself. Not even enough to require stitches.

How long do you think your family can be safe? I have never done any harm to them, So they are safe,

L,

This has been a long going theme as far back as you and I met. Pack a bag and go today. There is no reason to wait til tomorrow, because by tomorrow your going to change your mind and insist you are just fine,

I have know you for 2 years, I have not once see you stable for more than a week or 2 and that doesn't even count as a true stability since its gone so fast. That is the problem. You don't even know how stable even"feels". Try it, I think you might just like it.

Just go, now.

My parents are still here. They leave tomorrow, which leaves me the afternoon and evening for packing and go. Are pens and pencils allowed? I think my moods are stable it's just other shyt.

MM, I've been reading your threads for awhile now and it's the same story just a different version over and over. You are NOT stable. You are very reckless and just about constantly psychotic when I've seen you post here. Talking about taking medications illegally, taking your son's medication that I saw in a thread awhile ago, etc. Constantly starting and stopping your meds without a professional's approval, of course you're not stable. Everyone here seems to see how bad off you are except for you which makes sense since you are psychotic.

You need to go IP. I don't care about your circumstances. Go. Now.

go in u can stay as long as u want when u check yourself in ...........if after 2 weeks u want to walk out u can say i like to sign myself out ........sign the forms and u are out the door ...........for them to hold u it will take 3 days to go tho the legal stuff by then u are gone out the door

IP is where they have u in a room maybe private maybe double up ......u will do 1 hour with doctor then they will do test then u do group or 2 of them and sleep repeat over and over and over until the pills have a good effect then they will release yah

here is the main rule about IP if u admit u want to kill or harm self or others by law they can not release u ........those are the magic words that gets u held for 72 hours (legally they can do this does not need paperwork or courts ok .......it like the cops they can pick u up hold u 72 hours after that they need to charge u or let u go ) ...........anything other then that is ok they can not hold u

when i did IP i was in for 9 months because i fought them .......the trick of getting out is repeat back everything they say to u just worded in your own way .........but u are a adult signing self in this is 100% your call u can leave any time

now if the doctor orders u there that is not u doing it and they will hold u for aslong as they see fit too

if u see this coming SIGN yourself in ..........this way u can sign yourself out

they are going to be called sharps .........if u want to kill yourself or die no they will take them away from u if u want to use one u will have to be in sight of ppl

depending on what lvl they classified u is what u are allowed to do .........wanting to self harm/hurt self they are going to take everything away that could do anything like that

your shampoo and all that personal care stuff will be doled out in small amounts to keep u from using it to harm self/get high

as for clothes and dress and all u need to go plain solid colors no writing or anything like that could freak ppl out ....if they need a belt or something do not bring trust me pulling them up all the time sucks and they do not give u a belt unless u are about to be released

if your hubby wears boxers take a few pairs of those (button fly) wear underwear and those as shorts

MM. I don't have the energy to say much, as Mirtazipine is taking its toll on me, but I just wanted to say that you're in my thoughts and that I can both empathise and sympathise with what you're going through at the moment. As you seem to be rather unstable right now, I agree that inpatient is a viable option for you.

Take essentials such as toothpaste, toothbrush, shower gel, conditioner, deodorant, soap, a washing cloth and clothing. Some of these will be kept in a secure place with access granted to them under supervision as and when you require them; it is very unlikely that you'll be able to keep all items with you. As for pens/pencils, you may or may not be allowed to keep them on your person depending on what level of risk they ascertain you to be to yourself and/or others. I suggest you take them with you, but be prepared to have them taken from you and kept with the rest of your belongings.

You may find that your shoe laces are taken from you, as well as belts. This doesn't always happen but it's a real possibility depending on your risk level.

Don't be scared or worried about an admission should you be admitted to a ward. It's for the best and it's one of the most suitable places to be to have the treatment and safety you need. Everything will be okay.


RB

At this point it doesn't matter what you can or can not have at the hospital, they are all different. It does not matter if your parents are there or not there. What matters is that you tell people you need help and you go now. Your hubby and/or parents can bring what you need. You also need to be honest about your stopping starting and switching meds on your own.

wishing you the best, seems like good advice above.
whats the latest? feeling any better this eve?

@justugh - put me on the list.

MM I hope that you go to the hospital and that it is helpful for you. Sometimes professionals have it in their heads that psychosis and even MI in general must look a certain way, and if you don't fit exactly into their boxes or you are good at pretending to function (which I believe you've said before?), they don't understand how bad things really are. And when they under react and being unstable is your 'normal' for so long, sometimes we lose track of how bad things are ourselves.

I know that you want the best for your family, and I'm hoping that going inpatient will provide that. You lurch from one crisis to another for a number of complex reasons, but it's time to get off the hamster wheel, assess what's going on (not just with you, but your family too) and work out where to go from here. I know that you're scared of IP and med side effects, and I do understand those concerns, but you and your family deserve to know what stability looks like.

All the best

*Willow*

Goodluck MM! i hope you find serenity and stability on your journey
Inpatient helped me in times of crisis and i think it will help you as well
Hang in there

I'm packed. We have decided I'll to go a stand alone pych hospital in the next city over. They're more likely to keep me longer. I plan for 2+ weeks as that is what my niece went to. I will not sign myself out and I'll be as honest as possible. I know it'll take me a while to get use to them but I'll be as honest as I can. If they do not accept me I'll have my T Baker act me. I have to go in but that will have to wait until Wednesday. I was in more of crisis last time I tried to get help but that was in a different state. Hope this works.

Good to here! You are doing the right thing. This is good news!

I want to sit down and just cry. I don't think they'll accept me. The if you know you need hospital you're to well for it. I know my 200+ page records will keep me there for a while. Basically if I get in the door I'll get the help I need.

I've always known when I needed to be in the hospital and I've always been admitted. Go tonight. Don't put it off or you'll find some way to talk yourself out of it. No delay. No excuses. Get to the hospital tonight so you can get help starting immediately.

I agree with lolagrace, go tonight

i am a ****(when need to be or i get angry enough) so i know something that will force them to accept u

u lean in and tell the admitting person i am here asking for help **** is getting crazy if u reject me and do not give me help legally u are on the hook for any actions that happen from this point on i have asked for help and come to the correct place for it ..........so get me checked in get me stable or be ready for what comes afterwards i am about to break i am barely holding on someone might die ....me the cops with the riot gear someone

that statement will have u in and under a doctors care with in mins .......it is all 100% true they are legally on the hook once u ask for help and the last part is key markers they have to admit u