[Victoria'smom]

So I stopped my prozac because I was getting paranoid and prozac made me psychotic last time I took its. I told my husband I stopped it. So done with prozac. The nurse is no help. I miss my old clinic. Anyway getting off topic. I'm still taking the zyprexa and lamictal still. Today my arm is itching to be split and it's a good/bad idea to make myself cry blood. Don't stress my husband got rid of the box cutters and replaced them with safety box cutters. My husband wants me to take 1.5 (7.5 pills) zyprexa. I'm going to start Welbutrin (illegally) next week but it takes about a week for prozac to get out of your system. I see my therapist and student therapist next Wednesday the same day our power gets cut. Go me. I realize my thoughts are skewed and I wanted to get them out of my head. How do you know when you're psychotic and how do you stop it?

[Justugh]

holy crap .......ma'am i want to get u stoned so u get at least 4 hours of relaxing time

crying blood is a horrible idea it means u done damage to the tear ducts to allow the blood flow to come tho

as for your power bill what do u owe ...........u did me a favor i owe u 2 cookies so if u need a hand just say no payback asked for (just when u can pass it forward to some other person in need)

the other stuff i can not really help u with ......just double check about the meds some of them cold turkey is a horrible idea and can make u crazy

[CANDC]

If you have symptom changes from quitting prozac cold turkey, you may want to read some of these discussions about that.
Psych Central - Search results for Intimacy

You are lucky to have a husband that cares and wants you to stay awary from SI.

I am wondering why you do not go through normal medical channels to get Welbutrin legally if your doctor agrees that would be a good move. Self medicating can be a twisted path to take and you might find it is not what you hoped for. Doctors use scientific method to combine drugs in ways that do not interact or produce side affects.

I think risky behavior like trying to self medicate is sign that if you are not already in a bad place, you may find yourself there. Please go to your doctor for medication. You are bound to stay healthier.

[Blue_Bird]

Why are you starting Wellbutrin by yourself without your doctor knowing and prescribing it? It sounds like they don't want to prescribe it if that's how you're going about getting it, I know it has less a chance of causing mania usually but still can cause it very badly in some people. I'm sure they have a good reason and your best interest at heart, I've seen a lot of your posts all I can say is you should stop messing with your medicine so often without consulting your doctor. A lot of the instability could be due to all constant switching, stopping, increasing, and lowering you're doing.

[Victoria'smom]

i want to get u stoned <---- that always ends with a horrible next day
crying blood is a horrible idea I know it is but it feels like fun.
what do u owe I'll have the $ the day after it's due.
wondering why you do not go through normal medical channels to get Welbutrin legally if your doctor agrees that would be a good move.
I can't see the pdoc until next month. I was going to do a walk in I may not add the wellbutrin. I'm going to talk to T first.
Why are you starting Wellbutrin by yourself without your doctor knowing and prescribing it? I don't see my Dr. for a month.
how you're going about getting it My husbands leftovers

[Justugh]

ma'am that is with get u high stuff i have medical .......i made it so i know what the power is .........i am half tempted to put u on the bucket list get stoned with miguel'smom .....i already sawl cheech and chong in person

as for the power call them up and tell them i need 48 hours to clear a work check and to hand over cash to your payment dept .....as it is winter they should not be allowed to cut your power as u have a child and u need it for cooking and keeping the child up on school work

u are like sara pain is fun for u/couping tool............bad idea to cry that much u can really mess up the eyes by doing it and freaks ppl out u might get a called a demon women or a saint but u really do not want to do that (infectinons can happen )

sorry if this is crossing a line but tell your hubby to play some 50 shades of grey ......try that before u do any self harming it might do the trick .....u love him and trust him u even got rid of the box cutters ......so yah shutting up

[~Christina]

Why are you doing all this, again? Your playing once again with fire that puts you , your husband and most importantly your son at risk....

You need to go back and read the threads where you promised to everyone in your life you would stay compliant with your meds and give it at least 3 months and not making any changes with out your Pdocs approval.

I'm not being mean. I am just being blunt as you have asked of me and others many times , Just be honest and blunt.. so here ...

Stop doing the same non compliance and impulsive things over and over. If you can't do it for yourself then you need to do it for your son, he deserves to have a safe stable home life where you are someone he can depend on.,

Stop doing this nonsense.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

So I stopped my prozac because I was getting paranoid and prozac made me psychotic last time I took its. I told my husband I stopped it. So done with prozac. The nurse is no help. I miss my old clinic. Anyway getting off topic. I'm still taking the zyprexa and lamictal still. Today my arm is itching to be split and it's a good/bad idea to make myself cry blood. Don't stress my husband got rid of the box cutters and replaced them with safety box cutters. My husband wants me to take 1.5 (7.5 pills) zyprexa. I'm going to start Welbutrin (illegally) next week but it takes about a week for prozac to get out of your system. I see my therapist and student therapist next Wednesday the same day our power gets cut. Go me. I realize my thoughts are skewed and I wanted to get them out of my head. How do you know when you're psychotic and how do you stop it?

Can I ask a question? Why do you want to take someone elses leftover meds? Doesn't that seem like a gamble?

[Tucson]

I cannot add to what others here have said. So hang in there! Thinking of you.

[Ruftin]

Miguel'smom,

May I speak bluntly and from experience. You are going to take yourself off the wrong drug, as I did and it's going to throw you into such a psychotic episode, just as it did me, and the only thing you will want to do is die to get away from the psychosis. I attempted suicide twice after stopping one drug once. You're playing Russian Roulette. These drugs are serious chemicals! Please realize these medications are not a cure, they are only to help manage our symptoms. The rest is up to us. Make good decisions for yourself and for your family.

For anyone reading this post: Many of the drugs for mental illness require admission to a detox clinic to get off them safely. Don't believe any methods you read online, or supplements being sold to help you get off your meds safely & w/o side effects. I was using these supplements at the time I tried to stop mine. They are just trying to sell a product. They do not work!!!!!!

[unlived]

I've been following your threads and it's like you're addicted to the drama. When everything is going relatively ok you shake things up and make them worse. Like Christina said you need to do this for your son! And I'm not trying to be mean either I'm just giving my opinion from what I've seen

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[Tucson]

Originally Posted by unlived

I've been following your threads and it's like you're addicted to the drama. When everything is going relatively ok you shake things up and make them worse. Like Christina said you need to do this for your son! And I'm not trying to be mean either I'm just giving my opinion from what I've seen

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This is very insightful.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm trying to prevent a psychotic episode. I wasn't planning on starting the welbutrin until after I spoke to my therapist next week. I can't become psychotic! I think the prozac is making me psychotic. Prozac made me psychotic before. My family does need me stable and I'm not. I'm good at pretending to be well but causing myself to go further into Depression I wont have the energy to act on stupidness ie. crying blood would be pretty. I need to fix this before it gets bad. It's easy to get hospitalized and my T said he'd have no problem hospitalizing me if he can break through whatever delusions I'm having. He acts like I barely hold on to reality normally. He doesn't like my pdoc and wants the nurses number on speed dial. How do I stop this without messing with my meds?

[Victoria'smom]

you're addicted to the drama. No, I'm scared.

[HALLIEBETH87]

You talk to your treatment team about your concerns and whats happening. Messing with it yourself is counterproductive because you are not a doctor and therefore do not know what youre doing.

[Justugh]

your best bet ma'am

grab all the pills u are taken or write it all down ....head to the ER and ask to talk to the Pdoc on duty .........they will ask what u are on what is going on and make a tweak to what u are on but it will only be 7/9 pills enough for a week to let u get to your doctor

if the doctor thinks u need to be in the hospital for a bit the one in the ER will have u sent up .......if it is something that can be changed in the med he/she will know what the interactions are with what u are taken and get u on something that will not mess badly

now the way u word it will mean where they take u
if u say mental crisis u will end up behide the locked ward (they watch yah for 2 hours or more then the doctor comes)...5 to 8 hour trip
if u say anxiety and freaking out u will end up in the regular ER (they run a drug test on yah and u see the doctor in about hour maybe 2 ) 4 to 6 hour trip

[Victoria'smom]

Why are you starting Wellbutrin by yourself without your doctor knowing and prescribing it? I don't want to be depressed

.i am half tempted to put u on the bucket list get stoned with miguel'smom I'm not worried about the electric but T has already told me if it's cut CPS could get involved. Maybe that's best.

bad idea to cry that much u can really mess up the eyes by doing it and freaks ppl out u might get a called a demon women or a saint but u really do not want to do that (infectinons can happen ) I wont do it but it's a nagging thought.

your hubby to play some 50 shades of grey the Zyprexa has killed my sex drive.

Why are you doing all this, again? I'm afraid of everything. I'm scared I'm becoming psychotic and I trust no one. I can't put my family through the hell I did last year. My serious suicidal idealization last week, almost OD'ing the week before and becoming scared of the world this week 2015 is not looking well. I can't do this to them they deserve better than I can be. Christina I don't feel your being mean.

Why do you want to take someone elses leftover meds? Because they worked well in the past for me

You talk to your treatment team about your concerns and whats happening I plan on it Wednesday

I'm holding it together on the outside so I wont go to the ER

[~Christina]

More Bluntness... If you really do love your husband and son, Just go IP and get a grip.

IP is not hell on earth, it's a safe place to get daily pdoc attention, med doses can be adjusted quicker.

You staying in a constant state of unwell is far worse than being IP for 5-7 days. No you will not be kept for weeks on end nor months. Its a place to go to be safe and get you on your way to some kinda stability.

Get past your fear, do something that will help you enjoy life. You deserve happiness and not this constant shyt daily.

Plus IP will give your husband and son a break of watching you trying to self destruct daily. I am certain its hell for them to watch you suffer like this.

[Victoria'smom]

How do you ask for IP?

[Justugh]

what she said plus

u sign yourself in u can sign yourself out ........for them to get a commitment papers to hold u will take 3 days by then u are long gone

as for CPS ..........hell no they only need to be involded when something is massivly wrong with where they live .......u love the kid and do what u can so has happy life CPS once u are in the system it is worst then the criminal system of probation .......here is the check list
1 do u love the kid
2 does the kid eat well
3 does the kid get to school and learn
4 does the kid have crazy amounts of toys and other things
5 does the kid have shoes clothes and a warm bed
6 is the kid happy and love his parents

as for the thing killing sex drive what ever that is u need to replace it and get it back .......the chemicals released during sex are bar none the best for the mind clear up some things reset the mind .......now i can be all weird and tell u things i learned but lets skip that and just say https://imbipolarandiknowit.wordpres...g-about-semen/

hope it helps i still owe u 2

[Justugh]

go to the hospital with a mental ward and ask to check yourself in for IP

have your pills plus paper work for insurance plus id and a few days of underwear
your hubby can bring u in things ........check the parking make sure u can leave it that long with out getting towed or have someone take u in

[A Red Panda]

Walk in and share with them all the things you keep doing, including your lack of med compliance, and let them know that it's a repeated behaviour. Then ask.

You want different meds, you don't want the harm from side effects, you have to wait too long to see your pdoc.... sounds like IP is by far the best route for you to go.

You'll never, ever, be stable when you keep playing with your meds. You need to stick with them for a longer duration to see if they'll actually make any difference. Which you don't seem to really ever do.

And I definitely agree that you need to take better care of yourself for you son's sake.

[~Christina]

In the past 4 to 6 weeks you have been on here admitting to suicidal thoughts and homicidal thoughts towards your husband and son.

You are always struggling with Paranoia and report lots of psychosis. You go days unable to drink and lose the ability to understand English ?You come on here and make a thread about all these HUGE red flags.

Say your husband or son reported these things to you, what would you do ? Or are you so out of touch with reality that you would not be able to get them help they would desperately need ?

How much longer do you think you can be safe? How long do you think your family can be safe?

[Moogieotter]

IP is great! Justugh explained it well. Get ur insurance papers, meds, a couple of changes of clothes and go to the intake place. Most are 24/7. Read the website of the place too. Also, get a referral if you need.

Best of luck. We're rooting for you!

moogs

[Victoria'smom]

Sunday, I'm packing a bag and going to the ER. I'm going to tell them all the SH and SUI thoughts are obnoxious and I have the feeling of impending doom. That I need my meds changed but I frequently go psychotic when changing AD's so I want to be in a safe place. If they don't have a place there then I want to go to x hospital. I don't want to wait until I'm to scared to go.