[scatterbrained04]

Does anyone else's anxiety go through the roof in November and December because of Christmas? I used to love the holiday, but now I hate it. I barely make ends meet through the year. I have no idea how I'm going to buy my son's gifts. And I'm kind of expected to get stuff for my 5 nieces and nephews. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I know this is not just a bipolar thing because I am sure A LOT of people go through this.

[Little Lulu]

The holidays aren't my favorite time of year either, and from many of the posts I've seen here, we aren't alone by a long shot. I have a teen niece I buy for and I can afford a gift for her but she never seems to like what I buy. Last year I finally 'got it' ... I will buy her something I hope she likes but if she doesn't, it certainly won't make or break her life or mine.

This year I am going to change things up and take the month of December to focus on what Christmas means to me - a time for personal reflection and restoration.

I don't know how old your son is, but maybe if you plan some fun things with him like baking cookies, reading Christmas stories at night, talking about what matters ... things that aren't expensive, it could be a great holiday of time spent together doing meaningful things. He could even help plan some of the activities.

[DysphoricManicMom]

Yeah the whole gift thing is what makes me sick about Christmas time. Everyone starts freaking out and youre asked if u did any shopping yet and you havent and then they tell you all the cool things they bought like I give a ****. The only people I am concerned about getting gifts for are my kids. And if money allows it something small for my boyfriend, but I usually go the baking cookies or making crafts or some kind of decor for other family members (things that have meaning). I have 6 nieces and nephews and I feel no guilt about not being able to get them anything as they mostly get what they want all year long and xmas from their parents. The most Ill do for them is maybe one of those big chocolate bars.

My one sister will buy every single person in our family a gift and one year complained on facebook that she didnt get anything in return!! Although my parents have given us all money every year except that one bc of their own financial problems. And then my sister will later be complaining she cant pay her bills and I just think its rodiculous to spend all u have on gifts that people are most likely to put aside and not give a **** about, and for what? To say you did what youre "supposed" to do for xmas?

How about we spend our holiday season more worried about baking cookies with kids and playing xmas music even tho it gets annoying after a while esp that one where its a dog barking to the tune of jingle bells....

Eating good food together and watching the snow fall if there is any...

Wonder how many people are gonna suffer wounds or die due to human stampedes at walmart this year? I could just vomit at the disgustingness and shallowness xmas is

[Cat_Lover_58]

Count me in as well. I think I'm going to focus on what the holiday means to me and not focus on all the hype. My daughters know things are tight. I can usually get them each a few things. I have 4 nephews and I cannot afford things for them. My one sister buys them a little something; the other sister can't afford it. The kids have never said a word.
I'm working on Thanksgiving, my daughters will be in Memphis to attend their uncle's wedding. (ex-husbands' brother) I will have my quiet time. I don't need to be @ my sisters' house for 2 holidays. This riles up her and my mother. Oh well...I've played into that for years. I've thought about giving back in some way...church meal or a shelter that feeds others on Christmas. Yes, that is my way of finding meaning...

I hate the holiday season. It brings home just how far I have fallen from my former life and only reinforces the life I can barely manage.

My family know my situation so no one expects presents. I can just manage two small gift certifiates for my adult children. I rely on the gift of money from my dad so I can buy myself some holiday food items and baking supplies.

I feel the worst about being alone this time of year. It is all the worst because I was happily in a relationship the previous year. I have already fallen into the trap of watching sappy holiday movies - you know the ones where the girl always gets her guy - and they really don't make me feel any better. With social anxiety shopping is bad enough but all the decorations and music everywhere only make it impossible to shop except for groceries. Basically I will hide for the next two months.

[raspberrytorte]

Oh yes. You're not alone. My work is so stressful over the holidays. Every year it makes me ill thinking about it. And last year everyone was sick over christmas. Christmas eve our daughter was running a high temp, and we both ended up with the flu. And we had to call a nurse christmas eve because we didn't know whether or not we needed to take our daughter to the ER. Just a miserable christmas for everyone. No enjoyment at all. So now I'm worried everyone is going to be sick this year. Ugh! Holidays are so stressful!

This is the worst time of the year for me, from Thanksgiving to March.

Stores had Christmas stuff up by mid October, like wtf?

I'm in like shock and horror of the up coming months, now they found a way to make it longer.

To add, I go through loneliness, regretting the decisions that were made to put me where I am today. Watching others being happy, makes me jealous. Watching others be miserable over money and overspending makes me sick. I can't afford for my one son because MI restrains me from making decent money, struggling to pay the rent.

Why does the most expensive holidays happen during the worst time for working?

[lunaticfringe]

I tend to get really depressed around Christmastime. It brings up a lot of sadness for me around my family issues and the holiday is just never what it should be. This year I'm going to try to keep it really low key, but my mother usually forces me to spend the day with her and her dysfunctional boyfriend who I hate. **** Christmas.

[LettinG0]

Oh yeah! Terrible time of year for me....always has been....

And this year money is non-existent......I have 8 grandchildren......but, I'm really, really trying to not let it get to me this year. I simply do not have it.

Think I'm going to take some of the advice here and try to focus on what it really is.....and ignore the material stress.......

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

This is the worst time of the year for me, from Thanksgiving to March.

Stores had Christmas stuff up by mid October, like wtf?

I'm in like shock and horror of the up coming months, now they found a way to make it longer.

To add, I go through loneliness, regretting the decisions that were made to put me where I am today. Watching others being happy, makes me jealous. Watching others be miserable over money and overspending makes me sick. I can't afford for my one son because MI restrains me from making decent money, struggling to pay the rent.

Why does the most expensive holidays happen during the worst time for working?

I completely know what you feel with the loneliness regrets and jealousy.

[Georgia Bridge]

Zooks! Christmas season!
2 Christmases ago was the first Christmas after I had threatened my mother with a restraining order. I did not think she would back off, but she did.
That resulted in my losing most of the family I had left. I knew this would happen, but I had to do it.
I crash about this time every year.
I don't have children so I don't have to worry about gifts except for the people in my life now.
I stayed in that family situation because my niece and 2 nephews are in danger too, but it just got more and more dangerous for me. I'm the one who became an informant about my family's criminal organization and I told my family that I done so.Those children are why I did that.They are being raised just like my siblings and I were.
Every Christmas season all of the things my family is about and does replays in my head over and over again.
I get very depressed, very depressed indeed. And this is their preferred season of attack so I spend the season having to remain hyper-vigilant. Every noise... everywhere I go... is that them? Are they in threat mode again?
Thank you for this thread.
I wish you all a happier season than the previous ones.
Black Friday at Wal-Mart that year was practically unbelievable. The hell of Christmas season just seems to be getting worse and worse.

[unaluna]

I look at christmas trees on tv shows in the characters home sets and im like, they get to have a tree, look they have 2 or 3 trees, and i dont even have one. Theyre not even real people and they have trees. It doesnt seem right. Why not me? Well i know why - bad choices in my life. I needed to have the courage of my convictions when i was sixteen. Who has that?!

[Toodles333]

Christmas and the new year are the worst. I'm just cycling into a depression just in time. Beautiful. Thank you ever so much bipolar.

[Unrigged64072835]

My second husband killed himself the beginning of December several years ago. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas I'm super anxious and often suicidal. I keep trying to do better each passing year but it's still hard. Add seasonal darkness and I can get triggered pretty easily.

Because of my anxiety disorder I usually shop online. I only have to buy for three people and typically they're happy with a gift card. Almost all of my family is gone and I have issues with the rest of them, so it's just my current husband, daughter, and her boyfriend. It's going to be tight financially this year because my daughter is starting college next year, but we'll manage.

[scatterbrained04]

I always have my mom and my brother and his family over on Christmas. My brother lives out of state, and my house is kind of in the middle of where they stay and my mom lives. Which is totally ok except the stress of cleaning gets to me. Then there's the food, but fortunately my mom helps a lot with purchasing and preparing food.

I hate how material the holiday is. I spend most of the day stressed out by people giving me gifts when I have nothing to give in return. I always say I'm going to give homemade stuff, but that also takes time and money. So, it never happens.

[Cocosurviving]

I use to stress a lot abt Christmas. I started out buying for everyone. Then started pulling names. Then I started just buying for my kids and mom (she's selfish and would be real pissed if she didn't get a gift).

Now I don't celebrate holidays none...takes care of stress.

Sent from iPhone 6 Plus using Tapatalk

[Treyfrancis21]

Christmas time is the anniversary of my sons death. It usually sends me into a pretty brutal depression. I can't wait for the holiday season to be over.

[gina_re]

I haven't been into Xmas since adolescence. I just can't get excited about it. It's such a hallmark holiday these days. And now black Friday is black Thursday. It also emphasizes my loneliness. And to top it all off, my best friend, my grandmother, passed away Xmas day 2013. So now I REALLY can't get into xmas. Last year I didn't attend any xmas events at work. I just wanna skip forward to mid-January.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I struggle a lot. It used to be worse but therapy helped. My family has been through a lot with holidays; it seems as soon as some tradition is established something happens that changes it. A time or two that's been a happy thing, like when my niece was born. Mostly it's been bad stuff like divorce, doing Christmas with my mom in the middle of the night since our father demanded we be with him on Christmas morning, my hospitalization through Christmas one year (that left people angry and frustrated and delayed Christmas a week), and more recently my siblings can't be together for reasons that will not go away. And this year we're adding in my brother probably won't be allowed to leave his city because he'll be on probation that probably will restrict him to his county and that will be interesting to solve.

I'm getting stressed because I'm usually done shopping by Oct. 30 and haven't started yet. Nor do I have any idea what I'm getting anyone aside from some books for my older niece to complete a set I got her for her birthday. Otherwise, no clue. And since I may be pushed into the hospital to go on clozaril and go off Seroquel in a couple weeks I may wind up shopping from the hospital or doing it really fast after hospitalization. Gift cards for adults and then I'd just have to get the kids something. But still not so easy.

Oh well. Can't change that it is coming. I finally learned a few years ago I also can't change the history of trauma surrounding it (we don't just have the holidays, all of my siblings and I have birthdays within a couple weeks of Christmas that make it drag on and I have had some seriously awful birthdays).

[Victoria'smom]

I buy for 16 people plus my son. I love the holidays because that's when we all got together. Christmas was at my Grandmas and no matter where you were in the country you showed up. I got to see my cousin's family's grow, hear about there aventures while trying not to make my life sound pittiful. Yeah, the last part sucked but my Grandma died 2 yrs ago and Christmas along with her. I spend about $10 per person. This year I'll do black Friday for my son. He only gets gifts for Christmas and his birthday. This is the one time of year I get my favorite shower gels and stuff because I won't spend the extra money on myself normally even if it is a couple of cents difference. I crash in the winter so anything to keep me going is a good thing. This year I spend Christmas at my inlaws teaching them to love the holidays then see my family in January. I don't know how I'll celebrate with my cousins but we'll find away.

[nowIgetit]

the holidays are definitely weird for me...while I don't have family drama anymore, I did up until my early thirties when I cut my mom out of my life, and this time of year really brings up a lot of that because for most of my life this time of year was chaotic and anxiety-inducing. my first marriage also started to fall apart in the fall, I moved out in November, and got my divorce papers a few days after christmas...so a lot of those memories surface around this time as well. not to mention the time change and just the changes in scheduling from all of the holidays (changes in routine tend to trigger anxiety for me) and traveling, also lots of pretending to be happy (even if you are not) and having to be social (xmas parties, family gatherings, etc) are stressful. I have to really watch my self care this time of year and make sure I don't overcommit myself to avoid cycling.

so I actually don't mind the holidays (I actually rather enjoy christmas gift giving, the food, lights, traditions, etc.) it's all of the things that come with them that are stressors for me.

Christmas is a bummer, but I don't let it bother me so much. It's just another day in the life and times of us. It's usually over by noon.

[venusss]

I don't like Christmas, because I don't like commercial ****, it's in December when the days are short, several of my family members died around Christmas.

I don't really buy stuff for family (some don't celebrate it, some I don't see) or friends (cause they are activists like me and buying things is waste of money to them when people are suffering in Ukraine and there's refugees crisis. They would toss it into the next humanitarian convoy).

And holly hell people, advent starts on last Sunday in November. On in the end of October. Or September. Not as soon as school year starts... so can we keep it that way? If Christmas was kept to the Chirstmas season, it might be actually enjoyable. But this way, it's like when your grandmother cooks way way way too much of a good thing and you have to eat it until it's gone, even if it's gone stale and you cannot stand the sight of it anymore.