[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Thanks, WC. It's the hardest state for me to recognize in any kind of timely manner. And once I realize it, can't figure out how on earth I couldn't see it. (!!!!!)

Take it all on as a force of nature or eat Doritos crumbs for breakfast in the afternoon.

(Edited. Decisions?? Wth am I talking about.)

I hear you and feel you.
I've been walking on a tight rope and am not sure if I will fly into hypo or drop like lead into a severe depression. I have proclivities for each direction, symptoms of each, co-existing. Bumping either up a notch would definitely be problematic. I probably need a med adjustment.

I hope things settle down for you!


WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Picked up a couple meds and walked the mall for exercise. Had a nice pork dinner. All in all a good day.

Originally Posted by rainyday107

Hi sweetie, I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. This illness is just is so difficult. You're right, things DO suck sometimes and pdocs/therapists often don't seem to relate.

I just wanted to let you know that we are here to support you. PM me anytime if you need a listening ear.

I also think you should consider IP if you think it will help you. You've mentioned it and I know you are struggling. It happens.

IP is not a "vacation" but it can help us push the reset button, so to speak. My pdoc has told me that if I am not functioning and able to care for myself daily, ongoing...then IP is appropriate. It can be preventative in the sense that it helps you get back to a bit of a baseline before things get worse.

It sounds like your meds are not working, as you clearly stated. Having a completely different pdoc (IP) make some changes and see how you adjust IP can really be a game-changer.

I'm not pushing IP on you. I just wanted you to know we care about you, you have our support - and that sometimes we need IP. The cost should not be something to concern yourself right now.

Thinking of you.

Thanks

I can't afford IP, as depressed as I am... So I wouldn't go. $750 a day is too much for me, as I'm already $100,000+ in debt from school.

Maybe I should just get a 2nd pdoc's opinion since I won't be able to get an IP doc... So that's a good idea. Thanks for that.

[xRavenx]

Super anxious today...I had to take an extra pill of my PRN anti-anxiety medication, and I still feel extremely anxious. Waiting for an important phone call. I hate this feeling of not having any control or patience. It makes me feel powerless.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Thanks

I can't afford IP, as depressed as I am... So I wouldn't go. $750 a day is too much for me, as I'm already $100,000+ in debt from school.

Maybe I should just get a 2nd pdoc's opinion since I won't be able to get an IP doc... So that's a good idea. Thanks for that.

Blue,

I am saddened to read your insurance coverage is so little on inpatient.
I am sad you don't feel you can go to inpatient if you need to go.

I do think it's likely you would qualify for financial aid at a public hospital, with your lack of more insurance coverage and with your school debt. The financial aid is federal money and is there for people without enough coverage.

If you want to go inpatient, please call the patient accounts office and ask about financial aid.

There are a few decent hospitals in your area!


WC

I had such a hard time getting going today. I laid in bed until 2:00pm. This evening i won three out of four games of Scrabble. I was excited from winning so i finally had a shower for the first time in three days. I guess i'm back to just showering when i can. I was doing pretty good with morning showers for a while there. Sigh!

[Tucson]

Remade appt for my mother's pdoc on a sooner date for she goes into rages, ordered a computer which is stupid but I really can use it, purchased clothes from LL Bean, and now relaxing and reading a book since my mother is sleeping. Nice!

...I spoke too soon.

She just came back out and is now placing a paper towel over her head, now ripping a hole in it, and now placing her head through the hole. Amazing! I have never seen my mother do this before. Now she is proud of herself. The saga of a two year old continues... LOL Whatever makes her happy.

Tucson

[hopeless2015]

Up and at it, going to craft show with a girlfriend today, hope the weather holds up for us

[Coconutzo]

I've been feeling stable for the better part of a week!

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by bizi

when do you see them?
how is your back?
bizi

I have no idea I need to get insurance first.mn is supposed to have some of the best health care in the nation but I need insurance. There is a state run website but it says to only access from a computer, no phones or tablets....all I have is a tablet. Mum too only has a tablet. It's nerve wracking to be in limbo and then have to face new docs. Need a GP or internist for referrals for the back. My back is fine when I'm sitting but stuff like yard work is very hard.i need to take time out to sit down often.

I am sleeping well the past two nights! Very happy about that. I can't contribute any cause/effect to it.

[Gs550]

I think things are turning around. It's hard to gauge if this is situational or not - there have been some stressful things over the past 3 months but my reactions have been disproportionate. In the end I still wound up in a really bad place.

But with time off work and a chance to rest and time to do the things that help bring me back - cleaning, running, yoga, journal - I'm starting to feel better.

[raspberrytorte]

My sleep is messed up. I can't sleep at night, so then I sleep during the day. I have my next appointment on Monday. I'm asking for a sleepy med. Messed up sleep is not good for me.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Rainy day today, I love rainy days, a bit depressed though no reason, just a bit depressed. And luckly my cat isn't in attack mode today, intact I haven't seen him since this morning, hmm. Actually remembered to take my Lamictal today, keep forgetting to take it.

[gina_re]

I got out of bed only to fall asleep on my couch. Called my friend back so she doesn't send cops to my house. My team lost. Going back sleep.

i guess today was pretty uneventfull

depressed as ****, but nothing major happened to trigger those emotions

(and i did mention to someone i didn't want to be here)

[bizi]

maybe my bipolar is getting worse?
meds can putter out but maybe I have not been honest with myself...maybe I have been like this for years just sqweeking by.
Not paying attention...being careless.
Maybe I do need a medication change.
I am afraid of the weight gain by adding another antipsychotic on board.
I already gained 23 pounds since november 1st last year.
But if I had a better medication mix then maybe I would be better able to diet and exercise. Maybe my motivation/concentration would be better????
Sigh
bizi

[Unrigged64072835]

Waiting for the thunderstorm to roll through...

My husband is upstairs in the attic trying to track down a leak. It's like baking hot up there, even with the storm cooling things off. I keep telling him we need to change the flange that goes around the stack pipe, but he doesn't want to pay for the work. So he'll keep chasing around more leaks.

There was a festival downtown but it got rained out. My daughter and her boyfriend went and came back soaked.

ETA: Turns out there's condensation on the pipe coming out of the A/C. Crisis averted.

Depression has been lifting a bit over the past few days. Sui ideation is gone. Now I mostly have feelings of apathy.

I've been sleeping a lot still, but all in all, I'm doing much better than last week. So compared to last week, I'm doing really well... which I consider a win.

I'm rapid cycling anyways, so I know/knew the episode would be over with soon.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Depression has been lifting a bit over the past few days. Sui ideation is gone. Now I mostly have feelings of apathy.

I've been sleeping a lot still, but all in all, I'm doing much better than last week. So compared to last week, I'm doing really well... which I consider a win.

I'm rapid cycling anyways, so I know/knew the episode would be over with soon.

I am glad you are better, was worried about you.
keep posting
bizi

Originally Posted by bizi

I am glad you are better, was worried about you.
keep posting
bizi

Well, some of the ideation came back last night (it seems to come in waves)... but for the most part, I think it's gone.

[scatterbrained04]

Trying to shield myself from some of the 9/11 footage. It still brings me to tears.

My emotions have been all over the place today. Feeling really overwhelmed and kind of angry.

[Unrigged64072835]

I got all my laundry done today. My husband is patching the hole in my home office near the cable/network outlet. The drywall mud is taking longer to dry due to the humidity, so this project is taking longer than expected overall.

One of my online friends made a Chicken Alfredo sauce using Greek yogurt instead of cream. I may have to get the recipe. I'm not an Alfredo fan but my husband is. I have a recipe using cream cheese but I still have to add some butter to it.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Not much going on today, watching TV, took a.shower, actually remembered to take my Lamictal today for the second day in a row.

Also took a picture of my cat Mickey.

[hopeless2015]

Awww thanks for sharing your kitty cat! Had a good day, didn't get a lot done at home. Went for motorcycle ride, weather was perfect