[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

I feel oddly normal. No meds. Just normal. No fluctuation up or down last 6 days. I feel like I don't belong here and therefor shouldn't post. It's weird.
Or is it good?

It's been 9 months of rollercoaster but maybe I'm gonna go on a "normal" streak now.

That's great! I hope it continues.

[bizi]

Elsa, you can't control your hubby.
He will do what he needs to do.
You can influence his decision but ultimately it is his decision.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Originally Posted by bizi

Elsa, you can't control your hubby.
He will do what he needs to do.
You can influence his decision but ultimately it is his decision.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I know you are right Bizi.....but the frustration and tension this is causing in my body won't let up. Telling his family the truth wouldn't likely yield good results for either him or me so perhaps it's best if they blame me anyways. Uggg.

[Lifeischallenging]

So I just got hit with another wave of bad news. I just found out my car has broken down and now is stuck in Northbridge. I will be renting a $300 car for a week which is going to be very nerv wracking and then my furniture company, which is a rent to own kinda deal, wants their money as well. My college plans are going no where though. I am feeling like I will be stuck at Stop & Shop and that feeling is not good. I don't want Bipolar Disorder dragging me down.

[Sunflower123]

Well I'm definitely not depressed. My daughter moved the rest of her stuff yesterday to her dorm. Her room is so empty. I've been having horrible panic and anxiety attacks and wonder how I'm going to pull this off. I'm keeping busy but I just feel sick. I think this is particularly hard because we're so close and because she's the only one who has seen the good, bad and ugly of my illness and has always "gotten" it. She's always been of the mindset that her mom is ill and sometimes we do things a bit differently and that is ok.

We have been each other's support (which some may disagree with but it worked for us). Whenever either of us was having a tough time just holding hands and saying everything will be fine would calm us right down. She was going to stay and go to college here but I knew she needed to fly so I helped her with the bigger college 2 hours away. That was the most loving thing I could do for her. Thanks for letting me rattle on. I feel better now (or that could be the Valium).

Sending big hugs.

Too much, too long. What did they expect? I told them Ativan was needed. Those greedy bastardss!!! I hope they die in their own piss and vomit!

[bizi]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Too much, too long. What did they expect? I told them Ativan was needed......

I am sorry you are struggling my dear.
How can we help/???
(((((HUGS)))))
I wish it were all better for you.
bizi

[Wander]

Dr got TMS approved. It means I will be IP 3 -4 weeks more but it is worth it if it helps. Have been very unwell with depression and irritability. Last hypomanic episode was a week ago and I miss the feeling of being well and happy. Still stability, even in depression, is better than swinging all over the place. Not sure when I start TMS. Apparently it takes a while to begin to take effect so it will be a waiting game. I just want this episode to be over. If I begin to feel better I will be allowed out on leave by myself so I can live some kind of normal life and just sleep in the hospital. Seeing T soon. Can't wait as he is so helpful.

[raspberrytorte]

Ugh. When I had my nicotine fit rage yesterday I put a hole in the wall. I just noticed it. I was hoping that in our new apartment I wasn't going to destroy anything! Son of a *****!

Originally Posted by bizi

I am sorry you are struggling my dear.
How can we help/???
(((((HUGS)))))
I wish it were all better for you.
bizi

There isn't much anyone can do.....just stay my friend and forgive my outbursts until I can figure myself out and get better. I'm so sorry I'm so angry.....I'm so angry at my doctors right now. I know they think they are doing the right thing but I don't think they are. I took a hot bath and have been crying so hard all day I've tired myself out which is good. I took 2 blood pressure pills and 2 atarax to help with my anxiety and itching .....hopefully it will allow me to sleep soon. Crying helped get some of the frustration out. I talked myself out of drinking g which was for the best......now I just need to sleep. I'm sorry again.....I try so hard not to be like this but nothing I do seems to make a difference. I just want to get better.....

[bizi]

I hope you sleep well tonight elsa and wake up refreshed.
Please take good care of yourself.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Cocosurviving]

My day was decent. I had to be around my grandmother who tends to get on my nerves. She whines too much and I hate it. My daughter has a friend over for a few days and I'm trying to deal with that. I don't really like company. I know my daughter is getting older and it's normal to want a friend over.

Thanks everyone for your support

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

So sorry you are still nauseous. Hope you feel better. Have you spoken with a doctor?

No, not yet... I should've done that already, but I haven't. I need to do that today.

I woke up today feeling fine, ate some breakfast (very bland, plain oatmeal in specific), and now I'm ready to puke. Great... Just what I need.

I can't keep skipping out on work like this when I'm supposed to be getting a promotion in a few weeks. I can imagine it's hard for my boss to justify a promotion when I'm "always sick". And what if he starts to think I'm a huge b_llshitter?

Also haven't been getting much sleep. 3-4 a night in average, sometimes as low as 2.

[bizi]

I am sorry blue, please call a doctor and get in to be seen.
(((((HUGS)))))

Wander, I am glad that it was approved. sorry that you will have to be hospitalized for some time some more.

I started using ALLIGATOR oil on my face.
IT is supposed to help with redness from rosacea and pimples and clear up you face. So far its day 3 and I have one new white head on my chin. so will see if it helps in time.
bizi

[-Astral-]

SU

Possible trigger:

just want to take a load of pills ...yea am ****ed up

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by -Asphyxia-

SU

Possible trigger:

just want to take a load of pills ...yea am ****ed up

Please don't.

[-Astral-]

i feel bad ...truma..past stuff he calls it reminiscing

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by -Asphyxia-

i feel bad ...truma..past stuff he calls it reminiscing

Can you call your psychiatrist and let them know how you're feeling? If you're serious about the pills, you should go to the ER.

[-Astral-]

ill be ok ...calling my friend

[-Astral-]

[hopeless2015]

Asphyxia please go to ER!

[hopeless2015]

Day 4 of being down in a hole, actually I'm starting to feel a little better. Guilt is kicking in for missing 3 days of work. I'll get up in the morning and go. Laying around in bed isn't doing me any good and I've slept most of the last 4 days away. If I'm sleeping I'm not feeling but I have to get back to life and routine, I know it's for the best even if it's a struggle. I know I'm feeling better, my thoughts are more rational today.

[-Astral-]

Am ok calmed down talking to my husband sorry

[hopeless2015]

Don't be sorry, glad your husband is supporting You! Hugs

[Wild Coyote]

Dystonia is totally gone now. (Wellbutrin decreased by 75%.)
Day 2 of Abilify. Low-dose in hopes of boosting other antidepressants.

Had an okay day. Cleaned out the refrigerator. It's immaculate.
H is away for work this week. He works hard. I appreciate him.

The Abilify already has me waking up throughout the night, hungry.
I don't need more calories, it's telling me untruths. I just cannot gain the weight back. I've spent this whole year, so far, losing it.

Trying to stay occupied/distracted from the ultimate in "stinkin' thinkin'."

Love to All!

WC