[jacky8807]

I'm sitting here realizing I should not have sent my sons coach the accusatory email that I did last night. I'm starting to feel that I am either getting very paranoid or I am just hitting on the truths of some things. idk
I am good at picking up on energy so its hard to tell when its real or not.

[WildcatVet]

Feeling pretty good and confident this morning (not TOO good!). Have an appt with the PCP who denied me my meds for 2 weeks and nearly caused a meltdown...feel like tearing his b***s off. Have found a local pdoc with an excellent reputation!

I haven't been sleeping well... Max amount of sleep per night is 6 hours, if I'm lucky. I'm not tired, either.

I'm feeling pretty good mood wise, though. No signs of depression or mixed episode. Therapist thinks I've been manic for a short while, but we'll see over the next few days. I didn't notice anything until she said something, so I'll have to assess it.

[bizi]

Feeling pretty good about our successful dinner party. My mood is neutral so that is good.
Running late today, need to get going.
have a good day yall!
bizi

[wonderluster]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Anyone closing a post with "This conversation really happened" is on my team.

It is a pleasure to be on your team!

[wonderluster]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

stay safe Glam !!!


I feel like I'm 5 seconds away from a nervous breakdown. That word is not even used anymore but it is exactly how I feel. I'm spinning into it and don't know how to get the F out on my own.

Sometimes we cannot do it on our own. That is why we tell others our situation. Just like you did here.

[wonderluster]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

I'm sitting here realizing I should not have sent my sons coach the accusatory email that I did last night. I'm starting to feel that I am either getting very paranoid or I am just hitting on the truths of some things. idk
I am good at picking up on energy so its hard to tell when its real or not.

I know how that is.

It is always risky to accuse people of doing wrong for two reasons:

1) The people who actually did wrong may deny it and turn on you, causing the situation to get worse.

2) The people who did not do wrong will lose trust in you , causing the situation to get worse.

It is always best to investigate and confront a suspected wrong doer in very tactful ways. Sometimes it is wise to take action that does not involve a direct confrontation.

For certain we must do whatever it takes to right the wrongs, but there are right and wrong ways of doing that.

It would be so much easier to be a turtle. Nobody does wrong to turtles except people. Please always stop and help turtles cross the street.

Thanks!

[wonderluster]

Originally Posted by bizi

Feeling pretty good about our successful dinner party. My mood is neutral so that is good.
Running late today, need to get going.
have a good day yall!
bizi

Your description of preparing for the party was delicious.
I was cheering for you all.
I am happy it turned out good!

[99fairies]

I get my Invega shot today. And my pharmacist is calling different drug companies to try and find me some procycladine. I so hope he gets me some, I can't take this pain anymore!

[wonderluster]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I haven't been sleeping well... Max amount of sleep per night is 6 hours, if I'm lucky. I'm not tired, either.

I'm feeling pretty good mood wise, though. No signs of depression or mixed episode. Therapist thinks I've been manic for a short while, but we'll see over the next few days. I didn't notice anything until she said something, so I'll have to assess it.

6 hours of sleep is adequate for many people.
In my experience I get concerned if I sleep less than 5 hours.

I hope all stays well!

Originally Posted by wonderluster

6 hours of sleep is adequate for many people.
In my experience I get concerned if I sleep less than 5 hours.

I hope all stays well!

I normally get 9

But it's a max of 6 hours that I'm getting, typically 4 nowadays.

I go to bed at 10pm, wake up at 12am, watch YouTube videos, then fall asleep at 3am and wake up at 5am. The sleep is so broken! I just want sleep!

average morning (watched the jungle book which wasn't bad)

**** afternoon though

hit the bottom so fast

now feeling.... I don't know

irritable with a little bit of anxiety thrown in

[wonderluster]

I am maintaining peace in my ongoing tempest.
I really cannot ask for more than that.

The storm will eventually subside.

I find that if I do not know which direction to go, it is best to stay put and deal with things the best I can.

Time always reveals the truth to those who seek it.
Of course if the truth is too painful we may deny it and continue to suffer.
We often choose the path of least suffering.
But would not it be better to choose the path of greater Joy?
...even if that path started out with unknown perils and offered no guarantee but escape from the current path?

Stay tuned,

I just saw mosquito #2 fly by...

[wonderluster]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I normally get 9

But it's a max of 6 hours that I'm getting, typically 4 nowadays.

I go to bed at 10pm, wake up at 12am, watch YouTube videos, then fall asleep at 3am and wake up at 5am. The sleep is so broken! I just want sleep!

Ya, it sound like you better nip that in the bud.
Lack of sleep always means mania for me

[wonderluster]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

now feeling.... I don't know

irritable with a little bit of anxiety thrown in

I find it is best to fight irritability and anxiety with logic.

Anxiety is fear of pain and loss.
Anxiety causes irritability.

Anxiety is painful.

All we can do is act to change the things we can at this time and accept the things we cannot change at this time. If we do not know the difference between what we can or cannot change or how to accept and change then we must ask for help.

It is important to know how to accept.

Sometimes we must accept that we do not know how to accept.

Acceptance is knowing that if we made it this far, we can continue to make it further.

[scatterbrained04]

Working from home today so my stress level isn't too bad. But boy is my computer chair uncomfortable. Starting to wish I was in the office.

Managed to do some chores this morning before work. Did dishes, a load of laundry, put 3 other loads of laundry away, and cleaned the toilet and bathroom sink. I'm a morning person for sure.

Have about another hour of work then have to go grocery shopping. Yuck.

[99fairies]

Just got back from the pharmacy. He gave me enough side effect med for about 5 days. He's calling the company to try and get me more. Fingers crossed!

[Amethyst_Stargazer]

I woke up feeling great and now I'm feeling okay. I'm not at my absolute worst which is good. Believe it's just stress that's getting to me right now. I'm very confused about my boyfriend since he has a disorder as well and I'm honestly not sure what to do anymore..

[Tucson]

I am very depressed today. I am so unhappy. When I text my daughter, she tells me she is too busy to respond. I know this is not true. The only time she has texted me is if she wants something. When I call her she is mean to me obviously not wanting to talk to me. All I can do is try.

I am watching TV. I do not know what to do with myself. Maybe I should get myself involved in some activity? I do not know what that can be. I have lost some more weight to below what I should weigh. I am concerned about this because there has been a rapid weight loss fron 235 to 190. Maybe I should make an appointment with my doctor?

[jacky8807]

wise advice wanderlust . jumping the shop on perceived threats has never done me well.

I had 4 hours of sleep with some pretty trippy dreams. they were good/euphoric though and I woke up feeling niiiice.

I may get through bipolarpocalypse yet.

hope everybody is feeling groovy

My neighborhood has the highest percentile of Japanese speakers in the country, so our block is called a Grock Brock.

[wildflowerchild25]

My cough has not improved; in fact it has gotten worse and more frequent. Coughing fits that cause me to gasp for breath, eyes to water, and gag and nearly vomit. I do not believe my doctor who said it was allergies. I am also completely exhausted. I was going to try to wait until next week to go back to the dr, give it some more time to improve, but I don't know.

I only have two cigarettes left and I did not buy another pack. Going to see if quitting improves my cough. I don't have much faith in myself. I've tried to quit so many times. But now I have a real, solid reason to quit, not just the abstract "it's bad for you". So maybe I can make it this time. We will see. Generally I quit for a month or so, fall into depression, no longer care if I live or die, so I pick it back up.

I just want to sleep from now until morning and beyond, I'm so tired. Wonder if it's a side effect of the cough syrup. No codeine in it.

[Faltering]

Can't tell if I'm becoming manic or just more goal-oriented. I want to become the next Stephen King. I've also been sleeping less so that may be a sign.

[Daonnachd]

I've had ECT scheduled for this coming Wednesday for a month now. My mother-in-law has known this; she's my driver. This morning she called and said she can't drive me this Wednesday.

I hate rescheduling, especially in the very week of the appointment. It feels like a disregard for the other person. My MIL has repeatedly done this to me. I'm so frustrated. I'm boiling. She's that way without any concern for the other person. She cancels appointments frequently and arrives late to everything. She has no respect for anyone else's time. I, on the other hand, am obsessively early, even when depressed. It's something I can control.

Fortunately, I'm feeling quite well, so don't mind the delay in treatment in terms of my own experience. It's a hint of hypomania, so hanging onto this isn't the worst thing that could happen. I just have a sense of guilt with regards to my ECT team. ...and I really like my pdoc.

OK, enough of this. I'll let you know once I have the new date and time for ECT.