Bipolar Check in thread #23

leomama · Mar 12, 2018, 12:44 PM

At work it’s going good so far.

Unrigged64072835 · Mar 12, 2018, 01:06 PM

Seem to be having a letdown day after a hyper weekend. I just woke up sad and have been staying sad with a side of negative self-talk. Went to T and she was encouraging, but had to cut it short because my meds did their usual bit of making me too groggy to keep having a conversation. Came home and slept for three hours, which was a good thing since I woke up at 3 AM and couldn't go back to sleep then. Now have to plan meals for the week. I have to be careful not to pick comfort food for the entire time.

Mood is low, but I'll spring back soon--I hope.

Blueberrybook · Mar 12, 2018, 01:30 PM

Hard day today, feeling rushed (maybe it's the time change?), poor concentration, have a sinus headache, worried & anxious about finances. Afraid I'm starting to fall into a bit of a depression again.

Nammu · Mar 12, 2018, 01:49 PM

My daughter is going though hell separating from hubby. Gotta keep myself strong for her. 2 kids involved. The tulips picked today to fall apart....knew there was a reason I didn't like cut flowers. They die.

Wild Coyote · Mar 12, 2018, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

My daughter is going though hell separating from hubby. Gotta keep myself strong for her. 2 kids involved. The tulips picked today to fall apart....knew there was a reason I didn't like cut flowers. They die.

Separations/divorces are soooooo stressful!

I hope I never have to go through one. Yet, you never know for sure.

I am sure your daughter is grateful you are there for her.

WC

giddykitty · Mar 12, 2018, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

My grandma (82) has dementia, but her IP doctor thinks she has BP 1 and is undergoing a severe manic episode from not sleeping, being hyper, pacing around a lot, wanting to have sex with people, etc.. I actually think my dad might have undiagnosed BP because of his severe anger that occurs during periods of not sleeping.

I thought I was the only one in my family with BP. Oh well. But it makes a lot of sense.

My grandma is on Geodon, Seroquel (she's weaning off it as she is titrating up the Geodon), Depakote, and Ativan. It's sad, though, that she's now drooling on herself... a lot. She's also slurring her speech.

It's really hard to handle every time I visit her at the hospital. She barely functions anymore because they're overmedicating her. It rips me to pieces.

This had me thinking all morning. My grandma had dementia. I'm having my issues. Wondering if father went undiagnosed or heCk! Grandma probably went undiagnosed even! But all I can do now is focus on myself and what works for me. I see the pdoc this week. I've been obsessing about making this visit go well for weeks now. Anxiously writing my notes and rewriting them, so I say all I need to stay whilst still worrying that I might forget something or just go totally blank when the day comes. It really is maddening! And my family seems least enthusiastic about this. Hmm, maybe it's a good thing they are remaining quiet right now though. But meanwhile, I'm a ?hypomanic? stress freak! (Sorry, I don't know what I should call myself. But I am getting a bit worked up. Alternating intense obsessive behaviors, with total mental block and apathy. And that makes me wonder what mood I'll be in when the day comes. Bleh!

liveforsummer · Mar 12, 2018, 03:21 PM

Got out of bed at 10am and would really like to crawl back into bed now. 6 hours is enough of today. However, I won’t do that. I’ll make supper for the family.
Hugs

pirilin · Mar 12, 2018, 04:16 PM

Went to the shrink today.
"How are you?" she asks.
Better that yesterday and worse than tomorrow.
"What?".
"You're busy doctor. I feel excellent. Like when I was 39".
"It bothers me when my pacients are doing better than me."
"I'll bet. Suffer doctor, suffer."

"Well, do you need any meds?".
"You're the one with the chart."
"
"I think you're a little hipomanic".
"And enjoying every second of it".
"Are you spending money?."
"Of course. That's what money is for."

"Well, if you feel too high call the nurse".
"Never. I was born like this." "Why change now.".

She gave me a prescription for klonopin., lamotrigine, and my favorite, PAXIL!!!.

THE END.

Guiness187055 · Mar 12, 2018, 05:05 PM

Got up early and had a pdoc appointment. He changed my bedtime meds around so hopefully I can get some sleep. Went out to lunch with the wife and went shopping. Today was a good day.

Cocosurviving · Mar 12, 2018, 05:54 PM

My day started off at 6:15 AM. My daughter had to go in for her allergy shots then to school. I went to check on my grandmother. She had a list a shopping list for me. She is no longer able to drive When I’m out or my mom we shop for her. Today my daughter and her Girl Scout troop are going skating. I received bad news one of my meds is on back order. I’m going to call another pharmacy and see if they have it.

xRavenx · Mar 12, 2018, 05:56 PM

My energy level keeps fluctuating. When it's high, I feel accomplished, but then it drops all of the sudden, like a mini-crash. I am getting things done, but I do notice that I have been all of the sudden spending more money, and I hope I am not heading for hypomania (which often turns into mania or even mixed mania). I've been exercising more, but I am also eating more with lots of comfort food, and I want to stop. My mood definitely dips during the day lately, where my mind keeps on drifting to thoughts about the people I have lost over the past couple of years, plus past relationships.

I was doing well when it came to beginning not to focus on those things as much, but it's coming back again for some reason. My pdoc visit went okay. I did not elaborate on certain things and kept it simple. No med changes this time around. I do want to start focusing on some natural ways of getting better both physically and mentally, along with taking all my medications.

leomama · Mar 12, 2018, 06:20 PM

I'm tired, been up since 5am, worked an 8 hour shift, gotta cook dinner/lunch and breakfast and I don't feel like it.

Mar 12, 2018, 08:10 PM

I have a new project: listening to classical music! So nice to have something new at 51!

bizi · Mar 12, 2018, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apfei

I have a new project: listening to classical music! So nice to have something new at 51!

hubby plays classical and jazz guitar as well as other instruments and styles of music.
bizi

Tucson · Mar 12, 2018, 11:21 PM

My daughter is treating me poorly. She has been doing this for quite some time. Last was when I told her that I needed some help from her. All she gave me was allot of sh$t about it when instead she decided to go to see her boyfriend. She wanted me to get her a cell phone by signing up to the buy one and then get one free plan at AT&T. She also wants to get away from her mother because her mother gives her rules to follow as long as she live with her. So I told her that I will not do anything for her in this situation. We are talking about an 18 year old adult acting like a self-centered 16 year old. I do not know what I did wrong with her. She is not ready to function in the adult world.

I have been very depressed today. It took me until 4 PM to become functional. I do not know what I am going to do. I cannot hold down a job this way, but I really need a job. I also need to get off of disability. This is no life for me.

jacky8807 · Mar 13, 2018, 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pirilin

Went to the shrink today.
"How are you?" she asks.
Better that yesterday and worse than tomorrow.
"What?".
"You're busy doctor. I feel excellent. Like when I was 39".
"It bothers me when my pacients are doing better than me."
"I'll bet. Suffer doctor, suffer."

"Well, do you need any meds?".
"You're the one with the chart."
"
"I think you're a little hipomanic".
"And enjoying every second of it".
"Are you spending money?."
"Of course. That's what money is for."

"Well, if you feel too high call the nurse".
"Never. I was born like this." "Why change now.".

She gave me a prescription for klonopin., lamotrigine, and my favorite, PAXIL!!!.

THE END.

Hmmmm....I heard paxil is famous for sending ppl into hypo/mania. The horrible sucky confused state of depression and pain I am in makes me want to go beg a script for paxil. I heard its a massive weight gainer though. Vanity before mania is what I always say

liveforsummer · 06:43 AM

Possible trigger:

Possible trigger:

Maybe bad idea but attempting once again to cut back/eliminate sleep meds (this is just me and certainly not a good idea for everyone). Anyway instead of the 15 mg zoplicone I took about 10 mg. Slept ok from 11-5. See how many nights I can go like this. T appoint today so shall see if I can find alternative ways to promote good sleep hygiene again and the tough part...to stick with it.

Also want to stop my Ativan...

.....I think I’m starting BP denial....again...sigh...

Sorry about this negative thread.

I hope everyone has a good Tuesday!!

leomama · Mar 13, 2018, 10:34 AM

Wish I had a day off to do chores but no, I don’t.

Mar 13, 2018, 10:40 AM

I feel unwell again today, but at least I see my psychiatrist in a few hours.

Blueberrybook · Mar 13, 2018, 10:50 AM

Sinus headache, some anxiety. My daughter is home for Spring Break (10 years old) this week. Hubby is off work too as he teaches high school.

We are leaving this afternoon for around a 5 hour drive to visit one of my sisters. Hubby and my daughter and one of my nephews want to go to a couple of fossil digging sites 1-2 hr drive from my sister’s house. I am not looking forward to it, these places are in the middle of nowhere. I will be lucky if they have a port-a-potty. Doubt they will have cell phone reception; Google maps shows nothing around them.

So not looking forward to the long drive or the fossil places, much as I do enjoy seeing my sister and nephews.

Having some depression and panic attacks. Next pdoc appt. is not until next week (March 22). He is a new doctor for me; my old pdoc of 10 years is retiring.

Moose72 · Mar 13, 2018, 11:14 AM

Having a cleaning and new music day. My grandmother died almost 2 years ago and i was given pick of her tapes CDs and LPs. So today I thought Id play some of them while I cleaned the kitchen- dishes sweep mop- and did a few loads of laundry. Almost makes it fun! Now I need a shower.

Beatnik62 · Mar 13, 2018, 11:20 AM

Feeling fine in a general sense but lacking motivation to get things done. I'm most comfortable and at ease in bed. I want to break out of that.

hopeless2015 · Mar 13, 2018, 12:24 PM

Made myself get up and come to work. Feel ok now that I'm here. Stayed in bed Sunday and Monday, decided to push through depressive thoughts will see how it goes

HUGS