[downandlonely]

Originally Posted by Faltering

My OCD-like thoughts are getting worse on Adderall. I feel like I have to reread things until I'm satisfied I have read it exactly as it was written. I also have to say certain thoughts aloud. It's not a big deal to me though and I don't want to tell my pdoc in fear he'll take me off Adderall.

Is Adderall helping you? I've heard it can make people with bipolar manic. It didn't really hurt me, but it didn't help either. I don't have ADHD though.

I feel bad that my story about my dad's visit upset my sister. She said she couldn't sleep. She's had so many health issues and doggy concerns lately. She told me that she needs to know. I'm glad she shared my story with my brother. Both are strong people. Considering what my sister has been through these last almost two years it amazes me how strong she is. My brother lives with dad, and sis lives within walking distance of him. I'm only a 35 minute drive away, but it seems like much more of a distance. When I do step closer to the situation, they share more and more disconcerting stories that they kept from me before.

It is a sad time when you reach an age and situation when you and your siblings need to intervene in a parent's life.

I can't get it out of my mind how unwell, weak, and vulnerable my dad looks. My siblings and I don't know exactly what and when to do. I mean, we sort of do, but it's difficult. He's at a point where he still has power to make his own decisions. When people are they should have it.

[Faltering]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

Is Adderall helping you? I've heard it can make people with bipolar manic. It didn't really hurt me, but it didn't help either. I don't have ADHD though.

I don't have ADHD either. Adderall is helping me with mood and anger. I'm not manic so far. I'm on the max dose of an AP so that is probably keeping me stable.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I feel bad that my story about my dad's visit upset my sister. She said she couldn't sleep. She's had so many health issues and doggy concerns lately. She told me that she needs to know. I'm glad she shared my story with my brother. Both are strong people. Considering what my sister has been through these last almost two years it amazes me how strong she is. My brother lives with dad and sis lives within walking distance of him. I'm only a 35 minute drive away, but it seems like much more of a distance.

It is a sad time when you reach an age and situation when you and your siblings need to intervene in a parent's life.

I can't get it out of my mind how unwell, weak, and vulnerable my dad looks. My siblings and I don't know exactly what and when to do. I mean, we sort of do, but it's difficult.

You and your siblings are in a very difficult situation.
I admire the depth of your love and concern for your dad.
Intervening with a family member can feel very necessary.
Yet, you are right -- when and where?
I hope you and your siblings can show a united front of love and concern. Sometimes these expressions by loved ones melt the heart of the one with whom we feel led to intervene.

I wish you all the best as you decide more about exactly what to do to help your father.

Love and prayers,

WC

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

You and your siblings are in a very difficult situation.
I admire the depth of your love and concern for your dad.
Intervening with a family member can feel very necessary.
Yet, you are right -- when and where?
I hope you and your siblings can show a united front of love and concern. Sometimes these expressions by loved ones melt the heart of the one with whom we feel led to intervene.

I wish you all the best as you decide more about exactly what to do to help your father.

Love and prayers,

WC

Thank you, Wild Coyote! You are always such a dear supportive friend to us here at PC.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Thank you, Wild Coyote! You are always such a dear supportive friend to us here at PC.

*blushing*

Thank you.
I want to be as supportive as possible. I sometimes fall short.

I am very sorry about your dad.
I am hopeful about family intervening when the timing seems best.


WC

[~Christina]

Plan.... walk at least 3 miles , sounds easy but it’s hard when PsA and Fibromyalgia are screaming “ bwhahaha” yeah okay. But I’m in a rather pissy mood so I will do it,

I see Rheumatologist tomorrow probably hobble in , good for him to see just how bad I can get. He always says pool exercise is best , yeah okkkkkk closest pool is down the street from his office an hour away.

I hope every has a good day and have something to look forward too. Even if it’s small, we all need something to make us smile.

Hugs to all

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Plan.... walk at least 3 miles , sounds easy but it’s hard when PsA and Fibromyalgia are screaming “ bwhahaha” yeah okay. But I’m in a rather pissy mood so I will do it,

I see Rheumatologist tomorrow probably hobble in , good for him to see just how bad I can get. He always says pool exercise is best , yeah okkkkkk closest pool is down the street from his office an hour away.

I hope every has a good day and have something to look forward too. Even if it’s small, we all need something to make us smile.

Hugs to all

I hope you enjoy your walk.
Walking that far can be so very difficult with fibromyalgia and Psoriatic Arthritis.

Enjoy if you can.


WC

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m still shaken up a little bit from the funeral yesterday. My eyes still feel puffy from crying. But I’ve done a fair amount of distractions today. I took my son to the farm stand to pick out some pumpkins. We went to the craft store to get some paint for the smaller pumpkins. We are going to go out to lunch and then to the grocery store. Then I have vast amounts of cleaning to do. So it’s a pretty busy day. That helps keep my mind off things. Thankfully I’m not feeling depressed at all, just drained. I might take a nap later too.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Plan.... walk at least 3 miles , sounds easy but it’s hard when PsA and Fibromyalgia are screaming “ bwhahaha” yeah okay. But I’m in a rather pissy mood so I will do it,

I see Rheumatologist tomorrow probably hobble in , good for him to see just how bad I can get. He always says pool exercise is best , yeah okkkkkk closest pool is down the street from his office an hour away.

I hope every has a good day and have something to look forward too. Even if it’s small, we all need something to make us smile.

Hugs to all

Good luck with the walk. Walks are great. So relaxing. I'm sorry you're in pain though.

I can see his point about pools, but I'm with you -- 1 hr is a long drive just for a pool. I'd rather walk or do something else than drive that far just for a pool.

Before lamictal f***ed up my skin, I loved swimming, but not anymore. Laps were always fun, or even just floating there on your back in nice, warm water.

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’m still shaken up a little bit from the funeral yesterday. My eyes still feel puffy from crying. But I’ve done a fair amount of distractions today. I took my son to the farm stand to pick out some pumpkins. We went to the craft store to get some paint for the smaller pumpkins. We are going to go out to lunch and then to the grocery store. Then I have vast amounts of cleaning to do. So it’s a pretty busy day. That helps keep my mind off things. Thankfully I’m not feeling depressed at all, just drained. I might take a nap later too.

Sorry you're feeling rough still, but i'm glad you have distractions to keep yourself busy. I don't know if you like coloring, but coloring really helped me during difficult times.

Pumpkins sound fun.

I have a lot of cleaning to do as well. I'm just a lazy bum. At least I took a shower after not taking one yesterday. lol.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

Is Adderall helping you? I've heard it can make people with bipolar manic. It didn't really hurt me, but it didn't help either. I don't have ADHD though.

It's given me more energy and focus for things like reading. But it hasn't helped much with my forgetfulness and losing things, though I now am able to walk into a room, not remember why I was in said room, and then around 5-10 secongs remember why I went there. So maybe it helps some. I don't know.

New pdoc tacked on the ADHD diagnosis, but it was in the old pdoc's summation to him to watch that area, it could be ADD or ADHD. So I really don't know. I have so many diagnoses, and there are some I know I have, like bipolar, an eating disorder, panic disorder. But I don't know about ADHD; could be these meds causing me to not be able to concentrate. I suppose I might have some PTSD as I've had bad experiences, like 2 sexual assaults, a random shooting, nearly dying from an ulcer I never knew I had (sirens get to me now). I've had other crappy life experiences too, growing up with a strict, controlling, never-good-enough father, other stuff too, so I guess so.

What gets me is how much symptoms for different mental illness are so similar that a doctor might diagnose MDD and not BPII. Or diagnose schizo disorders instead of bipolar. And a lot of thoughts (at least for me) with eating disorders are pretty much depressive thoughts. I think you just have to get a good doctor, and have stability to taper. I am scared right now because of horrible stress in my life.

Perhaps I could have tapered with my old pdoc as I was stable through the Christmas holidays (December always being a bad month for me) into the start of January. She had mentioned she wanted to do it but was going to be retiring soon and working part-time a lot more, that it would be best to taper first, when I am more stable emotionally, and 2nd, when I have a pdoc who would have more appointments and frequent ones if needed, that she was not comfortable to be tapering first, when I'd only be stable a couple of months and second, that she would not always be there to see me through if I needed help during a med taper, so here I am again on tons of meds.

I do like the Adderall though as it boosts my mood in the morning, gives me more energy, and lets me concentrate enough to read. Whether I couldn't read because of meds or BP, I have no idea.

[Victoria'smom]

I’m doing okay. I’ve been taken 10 mg of Zyprexa. I need to go back to 5 mg like I’m supposed to be on.

Possible trigger:

I’m still suicidal but it’s passive not active

Miguel’s been ripping at his face and head. I don’t know how to stop it. His cousin has started picking It’s horribly heartbreaking. We talked about IP for him but my husband doesn’t want him to feel abandoned or like he did something wrong. IOP interferes with his classes. He’s looking at the close State University so he can go slowly and still get financial aid, live in the dorm and keep his psych team. That’s if he doesn’t get into his top college pick. I want the local University. He’s applying to 8 state universities because he doesn’t think he’ll get into one. The one he wants has a therapist. I’m questioning whether he should get a single or double. We have a year and half to decide. We just need to save the money now for his applications $240 and his SATs. I’m really concerned because he’s regressing fast and I don’t know what to do. So I’m trying to help him see his future but I don’t want him to feel pressured. He’s already too hard on himself. I wish I could just take his pain away. I vaguely fear for his life. He hasn’t said anything but he’s slipping into not talking, responding, or even looking at you. Just a total shut down. He’s not even talking to his friends. They’re messaging me. I don’t know if it’s depression, or ASD or what. We no longer have a car to bring him to therapy but he refuses to talk and looks like he’s looking through you. So I don’t think therapy would help. He’s following short direct directions. I don’t think it’s been this bad since early elementary school. I just don’t know. It feels like I’m losing him. I’m even thinking of doing the program he did when he was in elementary school that helped him. His dad and I are in crisis mode. So we are swallowing our depression to help him.

[Wild Coyote]

What a beautiful day today!
Sunny, cool, gorgeous colors!

Pushed myself and went for a Fall foliage sight-seeing trip.
I was very sorry for the first two hours, there was so much coughing; I am not totally over this crud.
Things calmed down for the next hour or two and I could enjoy the sights.

I hope everyone has had a rewarding weekend!
I wish everyone a good week!

Love to All!

WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Hi—

Installer bailed out on us. The shower door is partially done. We’ll have to figure out the rest.

Our sound bar went out just as we finished watching a show. Will put service plan to use and have it turned in tomorrow afternoon. See GI doc tomorrow afternoon—will have to push for liver ultrasound, I’m sure.

Didn’t sleep well as my husband was furious at the installer and he was restless.

Still doing okay, though. Planning a camping trip, even if rain comes and other campers are noisy. At least it’s not hunting season.

Love to all and extra hugs to those who are struggling.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Hi—

Installer bailed out on us. The shower door is partially done. We’ll have to figure out the rest.

Our sound bar went out just as we finished watching a show. Will put service plan to use and have it turned in tomorrow afternoon. See GI doc tomorrow afternoon—will have to push for liver ultrasound, I’m sure.

Didn’t sleep well as my husband was furious at the installer and he was restless.

Still doing okay, though. Planning a camping trip, even if rain comes and other campers are noisy. At least it’s not hunting season.

Love to all and extra hugs to those who are struggling.

How frustrating! and

Good luck with your appt tomorrow!


WC

[VerMOZZica]

I spent most of the day alone yesterday. I felt very bored and lonely. Today has been better though. My nieces came over and we did some arts and crafts and listened to music. It`s been a nice , fun day today and I am very grateful.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I’m doing okay. I’ve been taken 10 mg of Zyprexa. I need to go back to 5 mg like I’m supposed to be on.

Possible trigger:

I’m still suicidal but it’s passive not active

Miguel’s been ripping at his face and head. I don’t know how to stop it. His cousin has started picking It’s horribly heartbreaking. We talked about IP for him but my husband doesn’t want him to feel abandoned or like he did something wrong. IOP interferes with his classes. He’s looking at the close State University so he can go slowly and still get financial aid, live in the dorm and keep his psych team. That’s if he doesn’t get into his top college pick. I want the local University. He’s applying to 8 state universities because he doesn’t think he’ll get into one. The one he wants has a therapist. I’m questioning whether he should get a single or double. We have a year and half to decide. We just need to save the money now for his applications $240 and his SATs. I’m really concerned because he’s regressing fast and I don’t know what to do. So I’m trying to help him see his future but I don’t want him to feel pressured. He’s already too hard on himself. I wish I could just take his pain away. I vaguely fear for his life. He hasn’t said anything but he’s slipping into not talking, responding, or even looking at you. Just a total shut down. He’s not even talking to his friends. They’re messaging me. I don’t know if it’s depression, or ASD or what. We no longer have a car to bring him to therapy but he refuses to talk and looks like he’s looking through you. So I don’t think therapy would help. He’s following short direct directions. I don’t think it’s been this bad since early elementary school. I just don’t know. It feels like I’m losing him. I’m even thinking of doing the program he did when he was in elementary school that helped him. His dad and I are in crisis mode. So we are swallowing our depression to help him.

Sorry about all you have going on.

Possible trigger:

I have had that same feeling you have about the passive suicide, and if you think about it, anorexia is a slow type of passive suicidal behavior, too, if a person refuses to recover. I have had for this passive suicidal feeling for months and off and on for years. It's not a good place to be emotionally. Then, when I got into a situation that very well could have killed me (the perforated ulcer), I fought hard to live, having my daughter get H home from work, H calling an ambulance. Ten minutes later, I would have gotten to & from school to drop my daughter off, laid down, and then God only knows. And sometimes I am very angry it did not play out that way as perforated ulcers are usually fatal if not seen to quickly. Now I have many nights I go to sleep and wish I wouldn't wake up, not by my own doing, something natural like an anuerymm or something

.

I hate those feelings.

How old is your son? If he is 18 or older, hard as it is, you may have to let him sink or swim on his own unless a judge deems he is mentally incompetent where then the care is signed over to your. I can't remember what hs is diagnosed with, I am sure you said, but it might be just too much burden for you & your H to deal with right now.

[downandlonely]

What you say about your son sounds very disturbing. Is he taking any medication? He may need some so he can get into a stable enough position to start doing therapy. And it sounds like he might be a danger to himself. If that's the case, inpatient may be best for a while. It doesn't sound like he's able to focus much on school right now anyway.

[Blueberrybook]

My day passed in a bit of a blur. I can't say I really remember what I was doing, on the computer some, a little reading, meals, but I really just don't know where the day went. H took our daughter to a Maker Faire, a convention of one of those places were people who own and profit from the spaces try to sell their place to the community (and sometimes the places do not profit, like a library. Uaually, the library Maker Space is free to use though is the thing is complex, you have to provide your own materials, get training on it (provide or buy 3D print filament from the library). Of course, there is 3D printing (it's slow though and you have to be get with the software the printer accepts). H and my daughter did a laser cutting training and then project last year at a library in the area a lot bigger than our own. They laser cut designs into thin wood, but again, it helps to be good with the software (which H is and my daughter is rapidly learning). She made a lot of things today and had a good time.

I would have gone too but didn't realize it was today, until H told me, and I had decided to wash all the bed stuff--sheets, quilt, crocheted afghans, blankets, 3 or 4 of them. It is really a project that take a good part of the day, and someone has to be around and listen when things such as the quilt is washed because the potential for the washing machine to get off balance is huge. We have a spare set of sheets, no good spares of the other stuff for the bed though. It is a king-sized bed; well, California king, I think they call it, which is longer and not as wide as the standrard but everything is bigger than queen size. And still H's feet stick off the end of the bed with the longer bed.

[liveforsummer]

Feeling good, stressed, loved, anxious, nervous, sad, paranoid, grateful, alive, restless.....and so the story goes.

Added Zoloft, hasn’t done a thing to help but still early days.

Beautiful weather today, sunny, crisp yet warm. Fall colours and that yummy smell of fall (decaying foliage) !

I look fine on the outside but the inside is spinning.
I’m ok. Just needed to get this out.

Cheers friends

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Feeling good, stressed, loved, anxious, nervous, sad, paranoid, grateful, alive, restless.....and so the story goes.

Added Zoloft, hasn’t done a thing to help but still early days.

Beautiful weather today, sunny, crisp yet warm. Fall colours and that yummy smell of fall (decaying foliage) !

I look fine on the outside but the inside is spinning.
I’m ok. Just needed to get this out.

Cheers friends

Hi there!

I hope the Zoloft will help.

It was a gorgeous day here, too.

Great to hear from you!


WC

[Daonnachd]

Hey.

I'm in the area of California that had the huge fire last year and since we're under a red flag warning the electrical company is going to be shutting off all the power to the region. Last year the wind whipped cables against some trees and started that massive blaze so they want to avoid a repeat.

Tomorrow I see my pdoc, Tuesday my T, and Friday ECT. I hope I feel better at the end of it.

[Victoria'smom]

How old is your son?

He's 16.

Is he taking any medication?

I can't force meds because every Pdoc has a different DX. They keep putting him on BP meds. So they usually have him on 3+ medications. None of the medication have seemed to help. However he hardly stays on the meds long enough to help. The time he was on an AD he really hurt himself. He doesn't want medication until he gets a Dx. We have an appointment in December.

[bizi]

I drank too much today.
Need to get back to my abstinence tomorrow thru thursday.
when am I going to give up alcohol for good???
bizi