[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Home! Have a inflammation of the colon and a urinary infection. On antibiotics and to follow up with my doc. Plus I can try to eat, if it doesn't cause a flare up of pain. Most likely my doc will tell me to eat more fiber and get more excercise! I can hear him already!

Glad you got some answers , hopefully you will get back to normal quickly and can go have that tasty Greek salad

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Sad this afternoon.

H's grandmother is in a coma.

She has been at home, w/H's parents, on hospice.

H just saw her and visited w/her yesterday.


She is the most delightful lady! One of the real "Earth Angels." Everyone respects her, admires her and loves her.


Thanks for reading.


Love to All!



WC

Hope she is able to just slip away.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Yes I think your med changes are causing this.

Maybe you need seroquel in your combo. Can you talk to your Pdoc about it soon ?

I just weaned off seroquel a few days ago.

[tecomsin]

I visited my friend in hospital for the afternoon, got her some starbucks and cookies and a small teddy bear. Then went grocery shopping. Will be going out for dinner. This is more than I have done in a few days.

Tonight I will try again 1 mg Rexulti and 5 mg olanzapine. Hoping for a good night's sleep, and more energy tomorrow.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I just weaned off seroquel a few days ago.

All meds take time to work. So it’s going to take time for your brain to function without that med.

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

All meds take time to work. So it’s going to take time for your brain to function without that med.

I found this to be particularly true of seroquel.

I think I spoke too soon. I'm feeling depressed again. I don't know why the depression is on and off, but I'm definitely feeling it right now. Or maybe I've been depressed the whole time and did a good job at finding distractions. But now distractions don't work. I have no interest in doing anything. So now I'm staring at my phone as I type this, and I will resume to staring at the blank wall once this is posted. Though I might just go into a long depressive slumber and wake up 50,000 hours later

I want to be like a bear. I want to never wake up until winter ends.

No suicidal thoughts like the other day, but still...

At least I have a pdoc appt tomorrow. Perfect timing?

[xRavenx]

I've been really keyed up and notice I've been taking my benzos more frequently.... not even just for anxiety, but to bring down the mania a notch to be able to think a little bit more clearly and not be all over the place. I'm getting fleeting bursts of euphoria coupled with racing thoughts. I've been writing lots and lots of poems. I'm holding on to any insight that I have left, but there's that feeling of doom that this won't end well.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I cannot imagine having such a high heart rate! Must feel a bit overwhelming when that happens.

I wonder if the high pulse rate is strengthening to the heart, like conditioning the heart, similar to aerobic exercise? Or does it create a risk, long term , of cardiomyopathy? Either way, it's gotta be a PITA! I hope you can get it under control!

Congrats on your new "baby!"

I hope you feel better soon!

WC

Sadly I'm used to it.

It's not helping my heart at all, Cardiologist said it shouldn't cause long term damage; but my Metabolic Syndrome puts me at a increased of Heart Disease so who really knows what will happen when I get older. it's a giant PITA.

Thank you; I quite like her.

[TheSeaCat]

Today has been a nightmare, I still have the headache from hell, with an added bonus of blurry vision. I don't feel good at all, I feel fatigued beyond believe.

Work was miserable today the headache hurts and I can hardly focus on a technological device. I have a feeling this update is going to have tons of misspellings. I really don't feel like updating tonight. I just want to go lay in dark room.

Hugs to everyone

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Today has been a nightmare, I still have the headache from hell, with an added bonus of blurry vision. I don't feel good at all, I feel fatigued beyond believe.

Work was miserable today the headache hurts and I can hardly focus on a technological device. I have a feeling this update is going to have tons of misspellings. I really don't feel like updating tonight. I just want to go lay in dark room.

Hugs to everyone

So sorry you are suffering.
I hope you get relief and can sleep well.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I think I spoke too soon. I'm feeling depressed again. I don't know why the depression is on and off, but I'm definitely feeling it right now. Or maybe I've been depressed the whole time and did a good job at finding distractions. But now distractions don't work. I have no interest in doing anything. So now I'm staring at my phone as I type this, and I will resume to staring at the blank wall once this is posted. Though I might just go into a long depressive slumber and wake up 50,000 hours later

I want to be like a bear. I want to never wake up until winter ends.

No suicidal thoughts like the other day, but still...

At least I have a pdoc appt tomorrow. Perfect timing?

Sorry, Blue.
I was hoping you were feeling better.
So glad you see pdoc tomorrow.
I hope you'll keep us posted.

WC

[tecomsin]

I wish everyone a good night's sleep.

[beauflow]

Today has been bouncy.

Didn't want to get up but eventually I did. I was in late but I get away with this because I'll also work at 3am.

The morning was chaotic at work, ... I wasn't but people around me.. most people I find are unaware of themselves, which does get to me some times.

Any ways, the get together was ok, not as past years but let's face it- not as many people and it's been a rough year and the briefing and a lot of stuff was going on today ((honestly I think the get together should had been moved but w/e)).

I was up and down the day, but got a lot accomplished and was trying to be happy to take my small creations around to people that may have missed or didn't pick one up ((sorry, I didn't want to take a bunch of candy canes home))..
Right now I am thinking- how pathetic am I? I dont have outside work things, so I spent time decorating these candy canes for 3 pales to be left at first until I was like-- you people are taking at least one.
I am sorry, I didn't shove many at everyone, and I was very appreciative for those who did like them.. it was nice to see some smiles with people that saw them.
I did tell one person that they were getting one and I didn't care if they didn't want it, and one person I just sat it next to them and didn't say a damm word ((the guy I had a tiff in November)).

I got home and just wanted to go to bed. But I knew that wasnt a good idea..
Went to two USPS places to find a box of some albuterol solution to a friend ((the doctor or pharmacy messed up, this old HS friend uses this same solution and even the doctor mentioned if I took it back to the pharmacy they'd toss it.. I rather give this mistake to someone that can use it, sorry if that's wrong to some people).it's albuterol and she uses it to breathe better. Not a narcotic.

I decided since i am going to have to ship the box to get a few cards.. i have like two or three people for cards .. so, I got these cool pop out cards because only like 12 in the box and I dont or want 20.
These cards are cool but, the mass production has been poorly done. They are off on alignment and the company obviously didn't think about the envelopes they paired up with these cards-- or they didn't think about the hanging side for the pop out tree... i posted my annoyance on fb but I doubt any connection here and there and even if so- everyone knows I have issues.. ((isn't that why we dont hang out?)).
I am debating on sending one to the brother that I am very leery of that gave me his address because I wouldn't give him mine... I want a connection but I don't think that's where I'll find a healthy one.

I am .. idk.. I want to be ****ing happy for this holiday season and be up beat and looking forward and positive.... but oi... I am slipping a bit

Have had some sui thoughts, more like "it's going to happen some day" or "why not now?" ((Have dogs to watch so that's a reason, I like the dogs and it helps out my friend and the dogs too I like to believe).

My ex tried to sit with me while I started on the card messages but unfortunately he was complaining about feeling Ill and left... idk why but I was feeling like I was about to tell him to leave anyways. I dont understand why he wants to hang out, I broke up with him... I am not a good fit for him or anyone it seems like.

[Tucson]

It has been a bad last part of this day. My daughter called me “dumbass”. My so called “step son” called me “gay”. I do not know. Apparently I handled the relationships I have (or had?) with them. I think in a Mecican culture, you have to come acvross more like a “man”, at least what they woukd think a man should be. It has not helped with me coming across helpless for a very long time now. I should not let this bother me much at all. But it does.

I have been very depressed for some time now. I was starting to feel better yesterday. Now I feel depressed again. What has been happening has not helped me. I have been shirking my respinsabilities. Lets see what tomorrow brings.

[Blue_Bird]

Slept good last night I made fudge brownies with chopped pretzels and milky ways mixed in and then frosted and put the M&Ms on top. They're delicious, so decadent!

my positive today is that I tried a candycain for the first time

in all these years i've actually never had one. it tasted good, like a stick of rock from the seaside. I've also sorted my shopping list now, so tomorrow I'll work on ordering it all

I'm not feeling anything special, I'm just going through them otions- of getting breakfast, having a drink, listening to music, doing what ever else I need to do to get through the day.. I don't feel great but don't feel terrible either

just getting by and doing what I need to do

[bizi]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Today has been a nightmare, I still have the headache from hell, with an added bonus of blurry vision. I don't feel good at all, I feel fatigued beyond believe.

Work was miserable today the headache hurts and I can hardly focus on a technological device. I have a feeling this update is going to have tons of misspellings. I really don't feel like updating tonight. I just want to go lay in dark room.

Hugs to everyone

You sound miserable....
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[beauflow]

I am up but am molasses today.

I keep reminding myself to challenge thoughts.
I didn't feel pathetic when I made the little creatures, idk why yesterday I kept thinking I was pathetic,... well in a way I do.
I am touched for those who enjoyed them and brought a smile.

I need to do self care today, like shower and such.
My ex likes me and cares about me, that's why he hangs out with me and worries at times.
I just wish I was more loving all the time, I wish our relationship was different and we both could had provided what ourselves and each other needed... a relationship of growth is what I desired.

I keep forgetting to buy trash bags.
I will mail out the box and one card.
I am still on the fence with sending the brother I am leery of a card.. because I get it, he has issues.. and also I only know part of the story.. and when he was a teen he had apologized to me for the severe injury he had done when I was a toddler ((that one was a fractured skull and broken nose)).
I just dunno... and I am sorry I am me.
I am sorry if this is more PTSD and not bipolar, it's a struggle for me either way.

Blue Bird, that does look and sound indulgent. Yum!

beauflow, I hope you do get some good self care in.

I have been feeling physically taxed lately. I've been feeling sore, dragging butt, not waking up to the alarm, and then waking up barely able to lift my head for a good while. I've been running around town doing more errands than is good for me. I have these projects planned that I'm now becoming intimidated by, and yet, instead of resolving to cut down on them, I add another.

I'm, personally, not going to exchange Christmas presents with many people this year. My husband will, but he usually does his own shopping. My buying is almost done. But then my sister said she bought something for me as a "couldn't resist" purchase. She wrote that I need not reciprocate, but I'll at least buy her flowers. Maybe I'll create a flower arrangement for her.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Slept good last night I made fudge brownies with chopped pretzels and milky ways mixed in and then frosted and put the M&Ms on top. They're delicious, so decadent!

That looks tasty!

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Blue Bird, that does look and sound indulgent. Yum!

beauflow, I hope you do get some good self care in.

I have been feeling physically taxed lately. I've been feeling sore, dragging butt, not waking up to the alarm, and then waking up barely able to lift my head for a good while. I've been running around town doing more errands than is good for me. I have these projects planned that I'm now becoming intimidated by, and yet, instead of resolving to cut down on them, I add another.

I'm, personally, not going to exchange Christmas presents with many people this year. My husband will, but he usually does his own shopping. My buying is almost done. But then my sister said she bought something for me as a "couldn't resist" purchase. She wrote that I need not reciprocate, but I'll at least buy her flowers. Maybe I'll create a flower arrangement for her.

Is it just everything you are/plan to do making you feel this way, or is it sickness, mood? It's a tough time of year. We only give Christmas gifts to our daughter and one to each of our nieces & nephews (which we have 5 to buy for, which adds up). My sisters & I don't exchange. We don't exchange with our parents. When we can afford it, we buy something for my grandmother, such as chocolates she likes but cannot afford on a fixed budget, but this year, I don't think we can even do that. H & I don't even exchange gifts now, money is so tight.

[Blueberrybook]

My running shoes died today The hole in the sole at the toe was bad enough, then the other shoe got a hole at the bottom of the sole and tore through the mesh on the top/side where my 2 smallest toes are. And something is stuck in the bottom sole too, poking into the shoe. They had a good run of it. I think I've had them 2 or 3 years, and I have put a lot of miles on them walking & running (wish I knew how many, that would be interesting). I went to Academy and bought some much cheaper shoes I hope will be OK. I tried them on and ran around a bit in the store; we'll see.

My stomach is very upset, and I think it has to do with the fact that I ate a high protein bar (most of the protein from whey) before getting some allergy medication at the drugstore & going to Academy. I thought it would be a simple, quick snack. Whey protein did mess with me a little in the past, but not too bad. However, this is the 2nd time I've had this happen after consuming high whey food post surgery. I am thinking now I cannot eat/drink things with a lot of whey as now it makes me feel ill and physically uncomfortable. So I still haven't had lunch because my stomach is all upset and gassy and feels overfull. My luck I am digesting this exercise bar super slow too.

Mood is OK, not low, maybe a tad manicky, but not bad. Really, really hoping for the best from this job H has been working at getting to teach at university level. He's been told to get his letters of recommendation in ASAP, and he had to email 1 or 2 people to prompt them. The guy hiring just wants to hand the full packet, everything there, to HR. He's had H send in a voided check, which is promising. But still...I just want to know! We have been waiting over a year with job offers promised and taken away again and again and now again promised...I won't believe it until everything is official.

[Moose72]

Ive been in bed almost all day. Was up for bfast and lunch and to take n3 to school.

[Blue_Bird]

I saw my therapist today. She is going to talk to my doctor about the psychotic symptoms returning so I can get back on an AP that's weight neutral or a PRN AP. The last one I was one, Invega Sustenna injection every 3 weeks 234mg made me gain a ton of weight, I lost all that and I want to keep it off.