[Blueberrybook]

Recovering now, but OMG, Cefdinir (antibiotic) has started causing me to have diarrhea...I'm on day 2 or 3, and I have to tell you that is not the nicest side effect out there...I suppose at least I'm not constipated?!

I still tire very easily.

[tecomsin]

Innerzone, I also find myself sometimes pulled back into an orbit where I 'miss' my ex and it has been almost 4 years. I see this more as a deficiency in my own life than anything good about him.

Fortunately it doesn't last and I also remember how harmful that relationship was to my mental stability, and my mental health. I was very admiring how you were able to get out of a bad relationship and move on with your life.

I ended up developing a full blown psychosis around the fake history he presented as real (he was a spy who was on secret missions and killed lots of people for the US government, or so he told me). I discovered that he had saved a bunch files on my computer full of strange stories about Mexico and also all of his passwords into my gmail account. Needless to say I changed all my passwords.

[Unrigged64072835]

Cleaning/laundry day today. Needless to say I'm very tired. Still don't have everything done, so hope to have it done tomorrow morning.

At least a hot bath with Epsom salts helped a bit with the sore muscles.

Hope you're feeling better and struggling less. If not there's a lot of hugs for you.

[TheSeaCat]

I finally got a me day; I went after Christmas shopping with R and M; Victoria Secret was of course having it's semi annual sale which is honestly my favorite time of the year since everything is basically cut in half. I usually stock up during the semi because I really do hate paying regular price for most clothing. I do the same with New York and Company when they do 50% off I stock up on dress pants and blouses.

After shopping R and I went to get our nails redone for the party since my nails were Christmas and they didn't really match my dress or shoes for the matter; besides I don't the Christmas trees are appropriate for January. I got my spray tan yesterday so now I have a nice golden glow instead of moderately pale, I try and get a spray tan a month in the winter otherwise I just look sickly and I don't tan in the summer I burn. Irish roots and all.

After getting my gel redone I went to the gym for an hour long swim just to chill; I also spent a little on the treadmill. I really want to lose at least 25 pounds in the new year since that is what Zyprexa cost me. I am eating a lot better; I have kicked pretty much all processed food from my diet; soda and coffee. I am just drinking water and flavored sparkling water; not to mention I haven't gained on Seroquel so maybe it can be done.

I am off tomorrow since I had originally taken it off before I planned on going to the party; I mainly wanted another long weekend; so I can use tomorrow to sleep in and just chill before getting ready for the party. I will probably need to take my Buspar before the party because I am already feeling kind of nervous; I don't have social anxiety but I really don't like a big crowd. I also need to call a dentist and try to get in soon since this wisdom tooth just keeps causing me pain.

I'm still conflicted about trying to find a pdoc with the insurance; M and R both know of a psych PA so I might try to see if I can at least get an appointment with him and have someone's else diagnosis notes other than just my therapist; not to mention one visit shouldn't be to bad; and if I don't like him I can always leave and go back to my primary or if he tries switching up my combo too much. I really like the stability I have now.

I just got out of the shower and put on a whiting strip and a face mask to just treat my skin before the party.

Hugs to everyone

[Guiness187055]

I spent the day with the wife today. We went out for bbq for lunch and then went and saw a movie. We watched the Mule it was a good movie just kinda slow. Came home and made buffalo ranch chicken. Now just watching football. Hope everyone had a good day.

[wildflowerchild25]

I feel better now. RS came over about 2pm but we didn’t go to laser tag or the light show thank goodness. We went to see Ralph breaks the internet with my son instead. After the movie RS and I cuddled for awhile which is our routine after my son goes to bed. I love just laying my head on his chest feeling his heartbeat. It makes me feel so safe and cared for. I feel so much more cared for with him than I ever felt with my ex. He’s always telling me how much I mean to him and how lucky he thinks he is to have found me. It’s so sweet. I’m lucky to have found him too. I can only see this getting better. He gets along so well with my son unlike my ex who said he would hit him if he ever disrespected him. I should have broken it off then but I was stupid.

Now I’m just laying in bed waiting for trazodone to kick in. I have a terrible headache again. And my back and neck still hurt. But if I don’t move it’s ok. So I’m trying to minimize my movements.

I’ve been eating like crazy these last two weeks. Gained three pounds. I know everyone makes it their resolution to lose weight but I’m jumping on the train. Gonna see if I can cut out fast food for a month and see where that gets me. I decided I’m never going to get below 200lb so my goal now is to make it down to 200lb. I know I can do that, I was just 200lb in August. So I just have to lose twelve pounds. I’ve already basically stopped drinking (haven’t gotten drunk in two months and only had three glasses of wine in that amount of time) so that will help. The challenge for me will be to actually prepare food instead of grabbing McDonald’s. I hate cooking so much. Here’s to generous use of the crock pot!

Did not get high tonight and I've gotten three interrupted hours of sleep. It's past 1AM and I highly doubt I will be going back to bed. I have diarrhea probably from Depakote, so that's fun too. Also I'm supposed to leave for ECT in about seven hours, but I'm going to call and make sure I can still get it if I'm on Depakote and Trileptal before leaving.

Have a safe New Year's everyone

[winter loneliness]

I am on vacation and I am abstaining from weed. I usually smoke every evening. It doesn't seem to affect my bipolar adversely but it sure effs up my memory!

[Miss Laura]

Well its Hogmanany here in Scotland (New Year's Eve to everyone else). Spending the day with the family. Being thankful for the year. Been out for lunch and now chilling out.

Tonight we will see in the bells by toasting to the new year it's just going to be my parents and I as my Brother is working and my Sister is at a party. New Year's Day we will be 4 again with my Sister joining us for a lovely steak pie dinner.... traditional Scottish meal.

Throughout the 2 well 3 days as in Scotland we get the 2nd off too as a holiday we will have nibbles of crisps, sweets, savoury food etc

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

Well its Hogmanany here in Scotland (New Year's Eve to everyone else). Spending the day with the family. Being thankful for the year. Been out for lunch and now chilling out.

Tonight we will see in the bells by toasting to the new year it's just going to be my parents and I as my Brother is working and my Sister is at a party. New Year's Day we will be 4 again with my Sister joining us for a lovely steak pie dinner.... traditional Scottish meal.

Throughout the 2 well 3 days as in Scotland we get the 2nd off too as a holiday we will have nibbles of crisps, sweets, savoury food etc

Thanks for sharing your traditions with us. It's interesting!
I hope you have fun!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by winter loneliness

I am on vacation and I am abstaining from weed. I usually smoke every evening. It doesn't seem to affect my bipolar adversely but it sure effs up my memory!

I hope you are enjoying your vacation.
I hope abstaining goes well for you, without any withdrawal symptoms.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by spikes

Did not get high tonight and I've gotten three interrupted hours of sleep. It's past 1AM and I highly doubt I will be going back to bed. I have diarrhea probably from Depakote, so that's fun too. Also I'm supposed to leave for ECT in about seven hours, but I'm going to call and make sure I can still get it if I'm on Depakote and Trileptal before leaving.

Have a safe New Year's everyone

I have been using mj for sleep, too, usually in the middle of the night. I have abstained for a couple of nights because want to stop relying on it. I hope you do not get withdrawal symptoms.

Depakote diarrhea is no fun.

I hope your ECT went well!


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I feel better now. RS came over about 2pm but we didn’t go to laser tag or the light show thank goodness. We went to see Ralph breaks the internet with my son instead. After the movie RS and I cuddled for awhile which is our routine after my son goes to bed. I love just laying my head on his chest feeling his heartbeat. It makes me feel so safe and cared for. I feel so much more cared for with him than I ever felt with my ex. He’s always telling me how much I mean to him and how lucky he thinks he is to have found me. It’s so sweet. I’m lucky to have found him too. I can only see this getting better. He gets along so well with my son unlike my ex who said he would hit him if he ever disrespected him. I should have broken it off then but I was stupid.

Now I’m just laying in bed waiting for trazodone to kick in. I have a terrible headache again. And my back and neck still hurt. But if I don’t move it’s ok. So I’m trying to minimize my movements.

I’ve been eating like crazy these last two weeks. Gained three pounds. I know everyone makes it their resolution to lose weight but I’m jumping on the train. Gonna see if I can cut out fast food for a month and see where that gets me. I decided I’m never going to get below 200lb so my goal now is to make it down to 200lb. I know I can do that, I was just 200lb in August. So I just have to lose twelve pounds. I’ve already basically stopped drinking (haven’t gotten drunk in two months and only had three glasses of wine in that amount of time) so that will help. The challenge for me will be to actually prepare food instead of grabbing McDonald’s. I hate cooking so much. Here’s to generous use of the crock pot!

I am sorry your back and neck are bothering you.

You sound very happy with RS! I am very happy for you!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

I am very depressed; yet, am trying to stay distracted.

I had gotten to use mj, in the middle of the night, when I awaken and cannot sleep. I have had 2 nights w/o it now and hope to continue to omit it. I truly do not like relying on it, even though all of my docs think it's a good thing.

I think H and I are staying in tonight. He has been traveling a lot for work. That, combined with the holiday hoopla, has him feeling like just relaxing and keeping things low-key. It will be nice to finally have an evening where we have time to talk to one another.

I hope everyone has a safe, enjoyable NYE!

Much Love and Appreciation to All!

WC

[beauflow]

Been ok and am safe right now... actually there's been some things but this morning was a trip for me.

Possible trigger:

Shooting/suspect dead happened at apts this morning.. the swat team Mandatory evacuated me and some neighbors... I nearly cried when the officer asked who else was in the apt besides me, and replied "just my cat". Then when leaving, the suspect (man) angrily yelling, just really messed with me .. I just had unsafe feelings like anyone/most would.
the whole thing messed with me.

I was really not coherent when walking out, I had only my hoodie some how I had my phone but had forgotten my wallet- I have an odd scared thing around my wallet, like I am afraid I'll be picked up and asked for ID and be locked away because I don't have it.. it'sa fear since I was younger, but today was a bit more.. I just didn't feel ok in my head, again I was havin issues talking full sentences and making sense even to myself... issues understanding where the police wanted me to go too. and I was on that edge. Tried to think of something.. I got my steps in by 8am because I was so disoriented that I just started to walk.the place that was opened later for us to stay, wasnt open when I tried to enter earlier before I started to just walk. .. I eventually walked to a McDonald's. But had issues figuring out this Google pay.

Surprisingly my ex texted me asking if my floor of the building was ok - I called him and tried to explain what I was doing, he asked that I come back towards the apartments and he come get me.
The establishment across the street had opened and allowed us to stay, hung out with some neighbors.
Just shook up, I feel so bad for my neighbors on the corner, their place was the place that they suspect broke into to flee.
This is at least the 3rd time swat had been here this year. My ex wants us to start looking to move, just both to be safer.

I do hope everyone has a safe and happy new year's eve. Many hugs and well thoughts.

[TheSeaCat]

Hi all just a small update today since I have time before the party. I went to the gym for a little while just to decompress and try to make things look a little nice; I still hate exercising but I'm getting better at. I went home and took a quick shower so that I didn't smell of gym for the party. I asked my stylist if we could move the styling of the colored hair to a different day and he was like of course so he did my hair for the party; it's really nice and of course really pretty since I no longer have roots showing.

I ended up deciding to rearrange my Buspar for today I took it this morning around eight but I won't take my afternoon medication until 7 tonight an hour before the party so I will be nice and calm instead of on edge at the amount of people. I figure I would still like my bedtime Buspar since I think it's helps me fall asleep quicker since my brain is calm of anxious thoughts, I usually take my meds at 7, 2, 10, and right before bed. I'm not feeling anxious and it's almost two hours after I take the afternoon Buspar so I think I will be okay for one night since it does have such a sad half life.

I'm feeling excited about the party but at the same time I don't really like large social situtations; it's not social anxiety just my plan old anxiety disorder wanting to make things worse. I also don't know when I'm going to get my night meds since I really don't know how long this party is supposed to go on for, so I hope taking my Seroquel later than usual won't tip the scale.

Hugs to everyone and Happy New Year's Eve I hope 2019 is a great year for everyone; it seems like 2018 was kind of bad for a lot of people here myself included.

Originally Posted by beauflow

Been ok and am safe right now... actually there's been some things but this morning was a trip for me.

Possible trigger:

Shooting/suspect dead happened at apts this morning.. the swat team Mandatory evacuated me and some neighbors... I nearly cried when the officer asked who else was in the apt besides me, and replied "just my cat". Then when leaving, the suspect (man) angrily yelling, just really messed with me .. I just had unsafe feelings like anyone/most would.
the whole thing messed with me.

I was really not coherent when walking out, I had only my hoodie some how I had my phone but had forgotten my wallet- I have an odd scared thing around my wallet, like I am afraid I'll be picked up and asked for ID and be locked away because I don't have it.. it'sa fear since I was younger, but today was a bit more.. I just didn't feel ok in my head, again I was havin issues talking full sentences and making sense even to myself... issues understanding where the police wanted me to go too. and I was on that edge. Tried to think of something.. I got my steps in by 8am because I was so disoriented that I just started to walk.the place that was opened later for us to stay, wasnt open when I tried to enter earlier before I started to just walk. .. I eventually walked to a McDonald's. But had issues figuring out this Google pay.

Surprisingly my ex texted me asking if my floor of the building was ok - I called him and tried to explain what I was doing, he asked that I come back towards the apartments and he come get me.
The establishment across the street had opened and allowed us to stay, hung out with some neighbors.
Just shook up, I feel so bad for my neighbors on the corner, their place was the place that they suspect broke into to flee.
This is at least the 3rd time swat had been here this year. My ex wants us to start looking to move, just both to be safer.

I do hope everyone has a safe and happy new year's eve. Many hugs and well thoughts.

That would have shaken me up a lot too, beauflow. Hope you feel settled before too long. How do you feel about the suggestion of looking for a new place?

[Blueberrybook]

Jogged and walked (mostly walked) around 3 miles today. Still am tiring easily, but I think I also have PMS not helping things. I'm exhausted, and it's 4:45. Symptoms of strep are better. My throat is a little sore, but it could be postnasal drip from allergies. No fever, less of a headache. I'm getting there.

I have no idea what to do for dinner. OMG, my family is picky, I hate to cook, I'm preparing 3 different meals at times. I really need something like a cookbook called "Dinners for Picky Families for People who Hate to Cook". Oh, that and on a budget.

[wildflowerchild25]

Feel better today. Guess I’m still on the emotional hormone train. Anyway I’m having a nice low key NYE. Going to dinner with my sister and brother in law and RS. Then going back to my in law’s with RS to watch the ball drop. I got a bottle of Prosecco but I doubt I’ll drink it all since I’m driving. Probably just a glass or two 🍾 and if I have more RS can drive home since he doesn’t drink.

I’m so happy to be able to spend New Years with RS. I’ll have an actual New Years kiss lol. I always get so lonely around the holidays and this is the first year I’ve had someone significant in my life since my husband died. RS has made the 2018 holiday season positively amazing and I hope that I will have many more with him. He’s made it great for my son too; his family is so generous that My son got presents practically every day from Christmas Eve on.

Tomorrow, since I won’t be hungover for once, I’m going to take down all the indoor and outdoor Christmas decorations and put them away. Hopefully get the last of the Christmas presents put away too. Then it’s back to work on Wednesday! I enjoyed vacation but I’m ready to get back into my routine.

I hope everyone has a nice NYE! Happy New Years, here’s to hoping 2019 is a year of blessings for all of us!

[Blue_Bird]

I finally slept! Saw my case manager earlier and talked about what's been going on. she wants to come with me to my next doctor and therapist appointment in January. Not exactly sure why, but I guess that's alright.

Hope everyone has a wonderful New Years Eve and 2019!

[Lefty Seven]

Day 6 with Hong Kong H3N2, which apparently wasn't covered by this winter's flu shot... Anita's quarter-bottle of leftover codeine cough syrup is long gone. I want to get more at Urgent Care but I don't want to sit in a waiting room with 50 other sick people only to be accused of drug-seeking behavior and prescribed DXM, which is as effective against H3N2 as grape soda. Too sick to sleep, too tired to work and too contagious to attend any of the many New Year's parties to which I wasn't invited.

[Miss Laura]

Happy 2019 guys!!!

[~Christina]

Heading home tomorrow, I’m so ready to be home.

It has been a very stressful trip this go around for a variety of reasons.

We are doing nothing for New Year’s Eve which is fine by me as I’ll be sound asleep before midnight. LOL

I do hope that everyone has a better 2019 !!

[pirilin]

Private party of two.
Hoping........ Bacardi Black has done the trick many times before.
However, there's always a first time. No headache in site. So far.
Hoping.

Cheers.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by beauflow

Been ok and am safe right now... actually there's been some things but this morning was a trip for me.

Possible trigger:

Shooting/suspect dead happened at apts this morning.. the swat team Mandatory evacuated me and some neighbors... I nearly cried when the officer asked who else was in the apt besides me, and replied "just my cat". Then when leaving, the suspect (man) angrily yelling, just really messed with me .. I just had unsafe feelings like anyone/most would.
the whole thing messed with me.

I was really not coherent when walking out, I had only my hoodie some how I had my phone but had forgotten my wallet- I have an odd scared thing around my wallet, like I am afraid I'll be picked up and asked for ID and be locked away because I don't have it.. it'sa fear since I was younger, but today was a bit more.. I just didn't feel ok in my head, again I was havin issues talking full sentences and making sense even to myself... issues understanding where the police wanted me to go too. and I was on that edge. Tried to think of something.. I got my steps in by 8am because I was so disoriented that I just started to walk.the place that was opened later for us to stay, wasnt open when I tried to enter earlier before I started to just walk. .. I eventually walked to a McDonald's. But had issues figuring out this Google pay.

Surprisingly my ex texted me asking if my floor of the building was ok - I called him and tried to explain what I was doing, he asked that I come back towards the apartments and he come get me.
The establishment across the street had opened and allowed us to stay, hung out with some neighbors.
Just shook up, I feel so bad for my neighbors on the corner, their place was the place that they suspect broke into to flee.
This is at least the 3rd time swat had been here this year. My ex wants us to start looking to move, just both to be safer.

I do hope everyone has a safe and happy new year's eve. Many hugs and well thoughts.

Oh, wow. I am so sorry for all you have gone through.
I hope you can relax and can enjoy yourself despite today's events. I would be very "spooled up!"

Be good to yourself.

WC