Splitting up my treatment team

I’m thinking of going to the other clinic for therapy. Currently I can’t see a therapist until November in my current clinic. I’m thinking of going to the other clinic at least until November, maybe longer if I like the therapist. The problem is I want to keep my pdoc. I’ve never gone to a place that doesn’t share notes. So how would that work? I already have problems communicating. I think not sharing notes wouldn’t be good for me. I’m not even sure of my diagnosis. I don’t want to transfer my record because I’m staying with pdoc. I’m worried if I get evaluated now they’ll overreact not knowing me. My thinking is off and I’m impulsive. I need to learn how to deal between 3 month pdoc appointments when and how to speak up for myself. This feels wrong I feel I should just wait my turn. I feel like I’m going behind someone’s back. I need to keep myself safe. I’m losing grip and I need something. (my tattoo is mocking me) I’m too embarrassed to straight out ask for IOP plus that’s such a burden on my husband. I don’t want an emergency appointment because I should wait. Plus this will pass, at some point. This is a me issue not a med issue.