Bipolar check in #37

Thanks. The Aleve worked fine for me, but I was afraid I was going to have to get a migraine med if the pain persisted because I didn't want to deal with a migraine lasting 3+ days again on me.

It was a throbbing, painful headache. Bending over made it feel like someone was stabbing my head with a knife. HAven't had anything like it in years.

I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better. How are you feeling today otherwise? I saw that you have a therapy appointment scheduled this morning. I'm wishing you all the best and I hope you are taken seriously.

I'm on day 6 of my Geodon taper and I feel well. So far, I haven't experienced any changes in my mental state. My friends and family are doing a good job checking in on me and I saw my therapist yesterday. We reviewed all of my treatment options and talked though a few plans should anything go sideways.

My sleep has been a little disrupted. I've been dreaming a lot and waking frequently. I've been using prayer as a coping skill to keep my mind focused and to help me get back to sleep. It has been working well. I've also been resting during the day when I can and pushing myself less than normal while my sleep and energy even back out.

I am really grateful things are going well so far. I'll check back in with another update next week or sooner if anything changes.

Hugs and well wishes to all who want or need them. I hope everyone has a good day!

I had a really low day yesterday and today is only a little better so far.

Feeling really withdrawn and I have a lot to do at work today, interacting with different people. I hope it'll pass soon.

It usually lasts a day but it seems to be a little longer this time.

1 week left on Wellbutrin. So far it looks the same as everything else I have tried so far: it's partially working.

I'm feeling pretty good. Didn't get much sleep, but not tired or anything.

I'm in the therapy parking lot right now, and have been here since 8:45am ish. My appt is at 10:45am, but I am listening to phone calls and video calls.

It's a long story, but my therapist works in 2 different offices and the office I'm going to today is 45 mins away from my apartment (as opposed to 10 mins!). I had to get here early because I can't be driving when I have to have my video on. And if I were to drive to the therapy office *after* my calls finished, then I'd be late.

I can't concentrate on anything though because I have too many racing thoughts, so i'm just letting the voice call go on in the background while I do other stuff.

The video calls will be quite painful, though. I actually have to look like I'm listening even though I can't concentrate on anything. It sucks. And the calls are 30 mins each!!

Have PHP this morning and then class immediately after. I skipped class on Tuesday because I had a rough day at PHP... I had gone catatonic during group and was having a hard time recovering from it. It happened again yesterday... I hope it doesn't happen today... I really need to go to class today. I can't skip again. I have to leave PHP a little early to get to class.

I managed to shower last night. It had been about a week and a half since I had showered. It feels good to be clean but I was exhausted after. Depression is kicking my butt. I'm still having sui thoughts too. Every day. I'm being honest at PHP though and telling them where my head is at.

Scooter, I hope today is better for you.

fern, I'm glad to read that your Geodon taper is going fairly well. Hopefully your sleep quality will improve soon.

bluebicycle, It's nice to read that today is better so far. I hope you have a good therapy appointment.

Yesterday, soon after I wrote my last update here, my mood sort of dipped. I also felt a bit unwell, physically. This may sound odd, but the new activities I did, two days in a row, were a bit stressful in the end. I shouldn't have agreed to go back the very next day, but with a vacation coming I felt pressured to do so. I think I put too much on my calendar for next Wednesday. I have the volunteering from 10 am to 12 noon, then a NAMI Connection group at 2 pm (I'd have to go out to lunch nearby then return). Then I planned to leave NAMI Connections early to get to my psychiatrist's office by 3:30 pm, all the way back towards home. I think that much would hurt me. I'm thinking of cutting out the NAMI Connection group out entirely, until I return from vacation.

I thought my husband was going out with his buddy for dinner last night. Frankly, I look forward to those evenings so I don't have to cook dinner. In the end, hubby came home regular time. Earlier in the day, I went to a favorite pizza place after my volunteering and sat at their bar for pizza, thinking that would be my dinner, too. I even ordered one beer, which I shouldn't have. Then on my left side was some man and my right side a woman, both clearly heavy drinkers. They were talking to each other across me and managed to get me into the conversation. I should have moved. The guy ended up flirting with me and insisting on buying me a drink. I refused it because I can not drink two drinks in a row anymore. And shouldn't really drink two in a whole day, either. Or even one, if you asked my psychiatrist. They were talking all about bourbon and other hard liquor the whole time. Keep in mind that I had to detox in the hospital years ago, and my dad has three times this year alone. In the end, I actually gave them a bit of a lecture about heavy drinking, saying that people end up in the hospital because of it, and that it's good to "check oneself" now and then. [Who knows what they thought of my lecture ] Usually I don't mind chatting with strangers, or even flirting with a guy (though I'm happily married), but I didn't particularly like that guy or woman. The situation was very uncomfortable for me. In addition to the man's flirtation, the woman kept raving about my hair, etc. I had to high-tail it out of there! It's far from the first time I've had to high-tail it away from situations with strangers.

I don't think I'll ever order a drink at a bar by myself, again. If I'm with hubby, he usually drinks half of my one drink, if I order one.

I think I'm going to try to get into PHP. I'm struggling so much.

Who am I kidding I can't sit down for five hours a day doing nothing but listening to people talk about their fcukiing anxieties.

I remember thinking IOP was just too long. The time went by faster than I thought. At least you wouldn't be tempted to engage in destructive behaviors while you're there. That may make it a little easier to cope. I got a lot out of the experience. Maybe there's value there for you. Just offering a bright side to consider...

Oh I will be tempted to engage in destructive behaviors there, only other people will be involved...

Like what? You have the capacity for more will power than you give yourself credit for (I think). You've perservered through some pretty tough times recently.

I am very happy for you! I hope thing continue to go as well!

I am sorry about the sleep.. I hope it improves!

Thanks for the update!

happy happy happy

I made a thread about how my pdoc's assistant is likely gonna lose her job for illegally diagnosing and illegally making med recommendations. ABOUT TIME.

Anyway, having a FANTASTIC day so far. Never felt better! And the assistant likely losing her job is just the icing on the cake.

Also, my work meetings went pretty well today. I got them all done and over with, so now I don't have to stress about that stuff.

I hope everyone else has a wonderful rest of their day.

Never got back to sleep, tried to take a nap this afternoon but it's just not happening. Probably due to a recent med adjustment, will take time to get used to. I plan on using some of my relaxation apps tonight and coloring to help me unwind, and herbal tea.
Happy to report that I have much more energy since my chlopromazine was decreased. I'm able to walk places without pouring sweat like I was doing for awhile before. I feel happy and motivated.

I'm doing pretty good. My doctor raised my Zyprexa on Monday and it is helping with the voices I keep hearing. I've gained 10 lbs but I'm sleeping better, too.

Hi gaylegg!

It is nice to have you posting! It's great to feel better, I am sure!

I'm so happy right now. My grandma went in for surgery to have a mastectomy and it was considered very risky because of her age and health conditions, but everything went great according to my mom!!! (She's 88 and has had a pulmonary embolism and then a blood clot in her leg already. Also has thyroid problems, etc..)

I hope she recovers as quick as possible and starts to feel better. I wish I could give her a cake or something, but she isn't allowed to have any sweets for a while because the dr said she needs a high protein diet.

I was worried about that all day. It's such a relief to hear the risky surgery went well. But the tumor was pretty big, so we had no choice.

That’s great news!!!

My therapist tells me to do a "daily check" on myself, in terms of mood - especially for mood elevation. I've been neglecting that until just a little bit ago. Today I've noticed that impulsivity, disinhibition, and my "Star of the Show" syndrome (aka a type of grandiosity) were more than present. I went to an AA meeting (deliberately dressing up to look as marvelous as possible), and of course I should have kept my trap shut, but just couldn't. And in the grocery store it was more than present, too. I'm not leaving the house for the rest of the day.

I think I spooked some poor guy at the AA meeting. I won't go into how. I meant well.

The good thing is that I did finally call my Dad this morning, after not talking to him for ages.

:
Fantastic!

I admire your ability to persevere and it's amazing to me as to how you are incredibly resilient.. I have noticed you are often very much in touch with yourself and take action when you need to do so.

Thanks, WC, but sometimes it is too late.

Blue, that's great news about your grandma!

We are all too late sometimes.
You are still an amazing person in my eyes.

Went out to lunch. Saw a mother and approx one month old baby. Mother was holding the baby over her shoulder so i could see the baby's face.

I mean I can't figure out if I want to do these things or if they are just movies that play out in front of me. I think it might be a little of both.