Bipolar Check-In #38

I also am happy to hear about your cycling adventures. I need to get back on my mountain bike. I love it, but I am also scared of it haha. Story of my life. I am quite adventurous, but have anxiety about everything. Were you ever nervous when you first started?

My sister and BiL came over today, they insisted that it was their turn to buy lunch. So we had a nice time out then came home for Norwegian cookies for desert. Then about 4 I decided to see if I could get my flu shot. It was perfect timing. No other customers about, easy in and out. So in about 2 weeks I should be all protected from the nasty flu. Still haven't screwed up the courage to call for a doctor appointment. It's of course too late now.

RS had off, he works at a community trust. My son also had off from school, but the school I work at was open. And I know state and township workers had off as well! So a lot of people in NJ seemed to have off. Except for me! LOL

When I started riding I was still an invincible kid. It wasn't until I hit my first car that I really developed much fear on the bike. I'm 50 now and fear I won't bounce as well as I did when I was a teenager. Coincidentally, I nearly got hit by a car on my ride today. He was looking for traffic and started to go and I was right in front of him.

Making a list for my psychiatrist. I'm mostly okay today. Which is typical of me right before an appointment.

My pdoc is part of a big hospital and whenever you go there for anything you have to do computerized assessments of your symptoms related to whatever department you are seeing them for. I usually do depression and anxiety but sometimes it also sends me mania. I do not know how it determines what to look at but some computer algorithm I guess.

Anyway it has me look at the symptoms going back 2 weeks and not just how I'm feeling when I fill out the assessment. Maybe you could try doing that instead of just how you feel while making your list? If you are still having trouble maybe try doing the bipolar, anxiety, depression, psychosis tests on PC and see if that helps you see what is going on more easily (those are pretty much exactly what I do every month). They are fast to take and maybe would help give you insight into the time between visits?

What a great idea!

I ate some peanut butter toast today and then my face and eyes got all itchy. I get seasonal allergies but i take a pill for that. Im also allergic to salmon, other fish, clams and shrimp and lobster and crab. Not to mention bedbugs! If i eat those foods my tongue swells up the second any of the offending food hits my lips. I have an epipen but ever since they changed brands for something cheaper I dont know how to work the new one. Great plan, huh?

Anyway it has me look at the symptoms going back 2 weeks and not just how I'm feeling when I fill out the assessment. Maybe you could try doing that instead of just how you feel while making your list? I'm doing events not feelings. I'm horrible at feelings. The only feelings is numb/indifferent. I did the sanity score test and scored high in depression, and anxiety.The list is more XYZ is still happening but better, I thought A & B but now for the most part do not.

s to everyone
I hope everyone the best, and many have such great words to share

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Checking in, pretty good day, worked went well (I forget it's a holiday for some)... I joked around a lot ((and inappropriately, as we do from time to time)). We try to know out audience. I know not to joke around with some with how i do at times.

Only had a few agitated and anxious moments more than usual but they passed.

My company, that I'm employed through have a class / learning portal that had managing stress and anxiety learning sessions, so I started it.
It'sa few hours long. it's very light and fluffy, so to speak... some I agree with, other aspects I think they need to be careful on their advice and simi
if not full absolutes.
I've liked the idea of Dialectical on some things .. but w/e. I will finish it, I get a badge if I do 🤣

I haven't had issues driving today and am realizing more on how a week ago I was having issues, needs to be talked about.

BirdDancer thank you for sharing your attendance with Nami .. idk why but it registered with me... , I'm not going to a nami but I signed up for a crises and management meeting with a health group that's being held at the end of the month. It's a meeting to talk about what to do and mgt of bipolar crises. I've Never been to something like this, but I do believe you sharing and others too of course, had helped encourage. Myself-I've always been so-- not willing to check in anywhere to be blunt, and even in the worst times I manage some how..." it will pass", or I am afraid of being so dismissed.
I'm getting older and guess realizing more this hasn't been a phase 🤷🏻

On a good note, my friend gave me a back rub with my special lotion ((CBD and THC)) I feel it helps. I rubbed it on my knees too and ankles.
I have my heating pad tonight, the temp will drop drastically per forecast.. .

I babble too much so am trying to trim things.

Hey everyone! Sorry I have rarely been responding to peoples posts. I have trouble concentrating. I do care about you all though, and enjoy reading what you share. Reading your posts helps me feel I am not a freak, or worse, someone who is putting this bipolar show on as on ex-best friend thought I did ( I mean why on earth would someone sabotage their life so badly to fake being bipolar??? He is a narcissist and once I realised I cut him off. I am still recovering from his poisonous words. Anyway, as some of your experiences mirror mine I can see what I am going through is real, and Bipolar.

My motivation levels are increasing and mood stabilising in the happy middle zone. All in all, life is good. Peace of mind is by far the most valuable asset anyone can have. When I recall the deep torment of mixed states I shudder then appreciate stability so much more. Now I just need to keep healing my hip (minor but nagging injury) so I can get back into the workforce. Also, my 15 year old niece who was put on prozac a month ago is doing so much better. She is no longer constantly irritable (and we all know how awful that is) so is engaging with her family rather than snapping at them. Most importantly she wants to live. We are all still vigilant, but so happy she is feeling better.

Oh, well, another night without any sleep. Irritable, anxious, and down. Getting quite worried. Do not want to become manic. Tried the 200 mg of 'emergency' sleep Seroquel, which used to work for me back in the day. Did absolutely nothing. I have no idea what it takes now to get me to sleep. Propofol? Sorry. That was a horrible LA joke. Anyhow, I am hanging in there and going with it. Will call my pdoc again and update him. We'll see where it goes--if anywhere.

Doing alright, I suppose. Slept from 7:40pm until 4:30am, so I definitely got enough sleep—although I did keep waking up in the middle of the night.

I'm hoping today is a better day than yesterday. I want my laptop fixed.

I wish I could be cleaner with my apartment. I think I need to do more cleaning when I get back, but I have to spend time with IT getting my laptop fixed before I can go home, and who knows how long THAT will take because the last time my laptop got screwed up, it took me half a day to get it back to what it was, even with IT's help.

I hope you find a lot of value in the crisis management class, beauflow! That sounds similar in purpose as a WRAP I attended. It was helpful.

The back rub sounds lovely! I give my husband many. More than I receive, but he has pain and I don't.

I'm happy to read that your niece is feeling better. She's lucky to have a supportive family.

I agree that mixed states can be the worst. I hope you feel more fully recovered soon.

Thanks, ~Christina! :

i seem to have increasing symptoms.
It intend for this to be brief and just fine!
Love Backatcha!

Ok update: computer's f***ed. I have to wipe the entire computer and reinstall the operating system. I've backed everything up, but still... I've been at this since 8am and now it's 9am with the computer only 1/3 of the way done.

I want to know what specifically went wrong so that I can tell someone and get someone to fix it.

Oh, no!

Thinking of you 24/7. I hope something about today's appointment will prove helpful to you!

So sorry, Blue!
Must be so very frustrating!

Much Love to You!

I see pdoc in 1 hr 25 min.

been feeling too stable craving hypo but will stay on meds bczu its hit or miss and im too old to be fuking w it.

I hope you are able to get your sleep under control soon.
I feel your pain.

The stability can seem very boring after having experienced hypomania, etc.
I do like the stability of fewer depressions.
I also sometimes crave the hypo, but mostly because I tend to have a low mood.

Nice to have you around!

ya no depression is awesome. i got a part time job so now i collect SSDI and am working so i keep busy. once my case is dismissed in february ill go back into finance full time and get off disability. ive been stable for two yrs and cant forsee going inpatient for the 9th time unless the staff at my group home forget to refill my meds, which Does happen, unfortunately.

glad to be here thank u.

Thinking of you. Offering supportive vibes your way!