Bipolar check-in #44

I am being lazy with showers myself because I am depressed

Btw, it would probably be safer and more effective to use rubbing alcohol (isopropyl alcohol). For example, something like this:
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Equate-91...l-oz/276040459

I realize you'd have to go out of your house to get some, but if you run out of bleach, look for isopropyl alcohol instead, specifically one with a high percentage of alcohol. Bleach on your hands can cause problems, especially if you accidentally rub your eyes after using some. I am talking about severe, permanent eye damage and everything. Isopropyl alcohol is MUCH safer.

I typically reserve my bleach for toilet, like if I want it looking shiny and clean. (I get a pink buildup from minerals in the water, and only bleach seems to get rid of the buildup.)

Hey!

It's great to hear from you!

I am sorry to hear the Remeron does not have you dancing in the streets yet. I was hoping!

It's wise to acknowledge the blessed moments and expand upon them.

You and your wife have a history of having been very supportive to people in need. I'm not surprised to learn you both have helped someone out in this crisis, too! I want to thank you both for your service to the world!!!

How is the writing going?

I hope your family does all get together to wait out the storm.

So very happy to hear from you!!!

Much Love to You and to Your Family

N3 just brought me a half-used 91% isopropyl alcohol.


I'll be sure not to rub my eyes. In fact, next time I use bleach I'll use the rubber kitchen gloves!

Remote learning was tense today because yesterday my coworkers almost got into a political argument on our group work text. I was ignoring it bc I felt uncomfortable but one of my coworkers went on a rant about how she would appreciate it if we could keep the group text messages to a minimum outside of working hours and how it was wearing on her mental health. All fair. I think it rubbed the other two coworkers the wrong way though bc this morning on our conference call it was dead silence, when normally we’d at least be chatting. But I think everyone’s anxieties are running high and remote learning is so new that we’re still getting used to it. So hopefully it’ll blow over.

I’m getting pain in my back and hips from sitting in bed all day. I sit straight up as I would in a chair but my legs are obviously out in front of me. Plus a cushy bed doesn’t support as well as a chair. But my room is the only quiet space in the house. Unless I ask my son to use his room while I’m on the call. He has a desk and a chair. Might be better for me. I’ll ask him.

I’ve decided I need to stay off fb as much as possible. All the news coming in just makes me anxious or my head explode with anger. So I need to limit it. The only people I really want to stay in touch with right now are my brother’s family, my mom, my grandparents, and perhaps my sister in law (but not really Atm) and mother in law from time to time. I can call/text all of those people. So no need for fb.

Hoping to get good sleep tonight. Last night was fraught with disaster scenarios.

Received a text from my boss this morning. I needed to go to the office. I took care of that. Got to go for a drive to pick up my meds, 80 miles round trip. Talked with my T via telephone for about 20 minutes. That was my first teletherapy session. It was a bit short but relatively comfortable, of course, I had our cat on my lap the whole time.

It's been another week and my Emsam patient assistance is no further along. They were supposed to call me yesterday but didn't so I called them today. They kept saying they hadn't received paperwork they most certainly have received and then refused to give any idea when this would be resolved. In fact the woman was kind of rude, although to be fair we had a poor phone connection and perhaps she was less rude if I could have heard her. I probably came across as rude too but I was aiming for desperate. All I need is for them to not like me and have even more reason to not approve me.

At this point I don't think I'll be approved. If I can continue spacing the patches out 3 days (yes, I know this is bad and my pdoc will yell at me) I have a few weeks but at any time I'll need to use them daily again. After that I don't know. I need to talk to my pdoc to have a plan in place but she's off this week. I'm also really worried about her which doesn't help. She's been off work a lot and that's not typical for her; nor is not getting back to me about something this important. She's a cancer survivor and I'm becoming worried.

I just want to get to my appointment with her and have her help work things out but there won't be an appointment or there will be and it will be telehealth. Last month I asked several times if w.e could do that and she never answered, also atypical. I finally cancelled my appointment when she was out of the office the last day to decide (this was when there were only maybe 10 cases of COVID in my state but all were in the county where I see her).

And of course to make it all more frustrating I called my other patient assistance program for my inhaler and they had approved my application but couldn't fill my script without something from my doctor that they'd never actually requested from my doctor (according to the dr who I believe) and it has to be done by Friday or they'll cancel my order for the month.

So patient assistance which is usually so easy is stressing me out.

My dream last night was so real! I was just walking around a warehouse that had lots of artifacts on display but they were "current" things - everybody else was shopping too. But I felt distant from them. Then there were kids outside playing with some of the toys that were on sale. My car was gone- I'd parked it on the street.

Beyond the Rainbow---

Oh no! My heart goes out to you. You've worked so hard on this. How demoralizing.

Why do some of these places have to be so difficult to deal with? uggggh!

Love and Prayers

Feeling bad about my liver doctor appointment.

Thanks Blue

Saturday he was getting off the lawn mower and stood up to fast got dizzy and fell backwards over the motor and hit a large raised up piece of metal.

Our internet will not support any kinda of Telehealth services and I am certain that is not anything my GP will offer. As long as the gash shows no sign of infection I check on it twice a day as I change the dressing... there is no need to go see our GP, I will only go if something is absolutely needed...

This massive contusion is just going to take a long time to heal for sure

[QUOTE=Jennifer 1967;6802738]I wish he’d get off the fence.[/QUOTE

Wanna meet up and we can toss him off the side ???

I agree with this ....... Hot spots can pop up anywhere... Proactive instead of reactive

I am soooooooooooooooooooooo sorry that all this is being held up when meds are needed the most due our current situation going on
I will keep you in my thoughts and pray something gets resolved immediatly

Have you googled to find out what foods are good for your liver ? I just did a quick search and a list came right up on foods that are healthy for your liver and reduce imflammation.. take a look.

I know right now the foods might not be easy to find , but to set up a game plan for when things settle down.

Moose! Maybe share the links to whatever you find? PLEASE?
Several of us have some degree of liver inflammation.

Much Love

Sorry to anyone who I offended earlier with my depressive comments. I will use the suicide discussion thread for that.

Anyway, I hope I am not becoming lactose intolerant. Sorry if this is TMI, but today is the second day of severe diarrhea, following other days where I kept running to the bathroom (w/o diarrhea). I only ate/drank milk products yesterday and same the day before that. Also, I haven't been out of the apartment in about a week, so I don't think it's a bug. Very frustrating...

Got up at 6 to do the senior hour shopping at the grocery store. It's sooo dark out!

Gotcha.

Sorry to hear that happened to your husband. That sounds like a big ouch.

I feel you on the slow internet. Had the same experience when I lived in downtown Boston. Only option was Comcrap, and they charged me an insane amount of money for very slow internet... because they could get away with it. Then they wanted $100 more A MONTH for slightly better internet.

Got almost everything on my list. No TP at the grocery store but I had to go to hellmart for my tea and they were stocking TP and paper towels. So I scored! No powered milk tho. So we're gonna have to stretch out the milk to last. Otherwise we're good.

Foods to help treat the most common liver disease - UChicago Medicine

Liver Disease Diet - American Liver Foundation. Your Liver. Your Life.

Fatty Liver Diet: What Foods to Eat and What Foods to Avoid



I've also been reading "The Liver Cleansing Diet" by Dr. Sandra Cabot Liver Supplements For Sale | Liver Cleansing Diet | Liver Doctor Detailed but good info. Re: the website, I have NOT bought any of her supplements. I'm too afraid they're snake oil. But I've heard good things about the diet and book.

I just purchased an espresso machine. This is an electric, automated device. If I want a latte, I just push one button, and it does the rest, including the steamed milk with froth. However, I cannot control how it does this. So lets see if my new toy works out for me,.Yes, this is more money spent. However, my company gives me a quarterly check as part of their profit sharing plan. This check will pay for most of it.

My body has been fighting off what appears to be some sort of regular flu. The symptoms come and go. No respiratory problems. At first, I thought it may be the coronavirus. I stayed out of work for a couple days. The general manager sent me home. All my symptoms went away. This was a week ago. So this is good news. I really need the money to pay off my credit card, one paycheck at a time.

The flu can have respiratory symptoms- at least for people with asthma like me. My only symptoms lately are goopy, crusty, runny, itchy eyes. I got prescription for antihistamine drops and my eyes feel better, so I guess its not pinkeye. (Eyes are clear - only white, no red or pink.)

As for your coffee machine, it sounds fun. I have a Keurig - but have just one pod left. Otherwise, I have a tiny coffee pot to put regular ground coffee in. I'll have to move onto that soon.

I guess this is a thread just to see how we're doing. I'm good, stable now after 3 months off the meds (which didn't work out) and now I'm back to full-dose. I guess the only complaint I have is the lack of energy, but my gf got me some b-vitamin pills and they are helping with that. I know now I have to stay the course of medication. I do miss the energy, confidence, and motivation I had with the mania. But I don't miss the agitation, irritability, and near-complete lack of impulse control involved in it as well. Bipolar kinda sucks in that regard. I know what I am missing, but I also know what I don't miss. Too bad we just can't get the good feelings without all the negatives.

Now N3 announces to me in the car on the way home from work that he's worked it all out with her parents: He's going to move in with Sharlene and her family! That's all I have to say. I'm too angry to type about it.

Feeling out-of-sorts tonight. Can't stop listening to the same CD. Gonna have dinner soon. Nothing from the liver book because we don't HAVE any fresh fruit or veggies or lentils or whatever else is in the diet. I think I'm just upset because I'm going to die. Like I said before, what's worse- dying in control of it or without control? I'm headed for death earlier than I should be and maybe if I get this virus a LOT earlier than I'd like. I have asthma and a bad liver. Some guy across the street from my mom has stomach cancer and isn't going out of his house at all. I didn't sleep in or take a nap today so at least I'm doing SOMETHING right. Question is, is it enough? I thought I did nothing on disability before, but now I'm REALLY doing nothing and its wearing on me.