Bipolar check in #45

I went to the grocery store this morning without a mask (hard to find) and bumped buggies with someone coming around the corner. We both smiled at each other, said sorry and how are you and then it dawned on both of us at the same time that we weren’t 6 feet apart. I was getting the evil eye from those that had masks. I’ll do my best to get one somewhere. I may end up making one.

It’s sunny and 82F here again so I enjoyed some sunshine and a good book. It’s supposed to rain for a couple of days. Making the most of it.

I’m doing well aside from jolting awake between 2-4. That’s the anxiety speaking.

Warm regards to all.

@Jennifer 1967 I also went to the grocery store today without a mask. I did have gloves. So many people had masks on. My mom has one for me.

I got my foodstamps finally. Over $400! BUT... That's only a one-time thing. Only people with young kids get that much a month and the rest of us get a pittance of $15. Maybe n3 and I will get $30 because there's two of us but whatever. All that hard work applying- proof after proof- looooong application to start... I should've applied when n3 was still under 18! So today I got about $100 of groceries. Washed them and put them away and threw out the grocery bags.

I have to say that I have never felt better akathisia wise since starting cogentin.

Oh, and I DID contact my pdoc this morning by forcing the front desk to respond. His assistant says, "he has no openings for the next 2 weeks," which I think is total BS. I said that I was experiencing heightened symptoms and that my therapist and "other people" (AKA you guys) think I should have a discussion with him. But nope, doesn't seem to give a crap.

Ughhh... I thought about this a little more, and I think I will literally just switch pdocs at this point. Screw it if I have to wait months to see someone. I'll just deal w/ it because he is getting on my nerves. I will try to ask my GP again if she'd be comfortable with prescribing psych stuff to me. She said no in the past, but I think if I tell her that I am desperate, then she may very well start prescribing things until I get a new pdoc.

Friday night my husband started feeling bad and more short of breath. No fever or body aches and its not COVID 19 of course. I called our Doctor this morning and did a telephone appt . So as expected Doxicycline and prednisone for 10 days. All weekend he has needed his oxygen much more than just night time.. So more stress..... our Doctor and I are hopeful that this will be cleared up and not need a chest Xray as we normally would get..But with COVID 19 we do not want to go near a hospital unless its critical.

Hope everyone is doing well and keeping busy

I feel good! Slightly hypomanic! Maybe i will get my Spring episode after all! Not sure what i will do with all the energy tho. I'll find something. My doctor wants to call me for a phone appointment! So nice that HE would request to 'see' ME! Very caring.

Had super fun on my computer bringing my cute winky-face memoji from my iPhone across to my computer to use as my Facebook avatar and email avatar. I'm always so overjoyed to see myself working skillfully on my computer. Those few years i worked as a computer programmer keep paying off in spades!

A grouchy neighbor yelled at us for playing with our dogs in the hallway but whatever, she's just an Oscar the Grouch. We won't do it anymore tho. The puppy is getting his shots tomorrow and will be able to come outside on Thursday or Friday so just a few days away anyways. Soooooooooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love and hugs to all!!!

Waiting on dinner to finish cooking... *tapping foot impatiently*...

Thanks, Innerzone. Yeah, we have been "together" for a very long time. Super lucky for him. Sadly, the jerk wife I married did not like him, so it was hard to see him for quite awhile. She was a jerk. He is awesome. Oh well.


The mouth thing is a tooth. Bought some Ben and Jerry's awhile back and bit down on what turned out to be a big piece of metal, maybe 6 mm x 6 mm, in my Chunky Hubby. Busted that tooth right off. I need to have an implant done, but have been so busy being psychotic, I gave just not been able to do that. And now, well...

B&J will pay for it, which is good. Not sure what happened. I think maybe a part of one of their machines broke off or something.

Really glad you were able to get those groceries. I know what it is like not to have enough food--that is awful.

Yes!!!!! Good for you, blue!! I am so happy you have made this decision.

Oh, whatever, whatever. We have puppies and toddlers playing in the hallway all the time now. i love it!! It cheers me up!!

Met with my pdoc today via vidchat. I'll get used to that.

Did some game planning with my younger son while he was in "study hall." That was the best part of my day.

Went for a walk. No hat and it started raining on me. Not a real rain, just sort of spitting.

Great Advice!
Friends continue to tell me about people needing immediate dental care. My dentist is in a large group. They are seeing emergencies. They used to see anyone with an emergency. For now, they are seeing only established patients.

Many people are in pain . Dental pain can be excruciating.
My heart goes out!

On my agenda today is to try to get masks, gloves, and germacide for my practice. These have been the hardest items in the world for us to get, and we need them to treat patients. Ugh. Wish me luck! My last attempt was not fruitful. I really wish the general public would lay off buying these things all up for awhile.

I hear you! Just how much do we want to do by video? Not to mention some video services have questionable reputations. In some instances, we may not have much choice.

There used to be many great lessons (for free) on the net. I imagine they still exist. It's been awhile since I've looked for them.

I understand your preference for instructions in person.

I've been using old plastic bags, too, for gloves when in a jam and my gloves are elsewhere.. I am running out of bags! I do have a few sets of gloves.

If anyone can avoid becoming ill, it's you, Blue.

Oh my!

I hope there are supply services catering only to medical practices.
I hope you find exactly what you need!

Be well!

I love being out in that kind of rain. Refreshing!

I had started isolation early (for my state). I am in my 4th week. It does feel like it's been a long time already.

I feel like I've been coping very well with entire situation. Listening to a governor from a different state has been very helpful . Less anxiety. He's very grounded and deals with the facts. ( My own governor does very well, too. He's just not as reassuring.) These leaders and their support teams are under immense stress 24/7. I am grateful for all they do.

We've had reasonably good luck with grocery delivery services, for which I am very grateful.

I've also received many calls from friends and casual acquaintance, offering assistance. What a blessing!

I am convinced LOVE is the answer.

Be Well!

I share the same conviction. Thanks WC!

Speaking of Gratitude,

I deeply appreciate your LOVINGintentions!!!

With Love and Gratitude

I just want to not be manic anymore. I'm sick of flipping out every five minutes and wanting to rip my skin off and just feeling like an out of control, rabid animal. It's injection day and I'm afraid I'm going to freak out and get hospitalized. I don't need another $5000 bill, to miss the beginning of my summer job, and to get coronavirus. I feel like I'm suffocating in my own heat.

I think you should tell the people who inject you that your symptoms are heightened. I know you did say before that your risperdal injection seems to wear off sooner than desired. They may try to get your doctor to prescribe you some extra risperdal tablets to help keep you safe as the injection wears off. Just my opinion though.

I did tell her over the phone and they put me back on 4mg of the pill version a day and I've only gotten worse since then. Last time it didn't feel like it wore off sooner it felt like it didn't do anything from the get go.

I see. Have you told them that the injection doesn't help? If you have not, I think you should tell them that today so they can come up with an alternative solution for you to mitigate/treat your symptoms, whether it means increasing/decreasing your dose (if possible) or putting you on another med altogether.

Just be as transparent as possible, I guess. Tell them everything you feel. If you let yourself go on the wrong trajectory, it is definitely possible to get hospitalized, but nipping this in the bud increases your chances of avoiding IP and thus coronavirus.

Well, I just got back from Wal-Mart pickup. It took me 20 mins to get my groceries because some lady was screaming at the Wal-Mart employees who were putting things in her trunk. She was like, "I DO NOT ACCEPT THIS SUBSTITUTION. MY SON WANTED BLUE COTTON CANDY, NOT THIS RED COTTON CANDY. BLUE IS HIS FAVORITE." Then one of the Wal-Mart employees was like, "Sorry, ma'am. Our inventories only refresh once every 24 hours, so it is possible that things go out of stock before you pick them up. We can take that item back if you do not want it. You do not have to take it if you do not want to -- for example, if there is an allergy." The lady was like, "no, there is no ALLERGY involved. Did you not hear what I said? MY SON WANTED THE BLUE COTTON CANDY. I AM NOT LEAVING UNTIL I GET THE BLUE COTTON CANDY."

The lady fought with the Wal-Mart people for 20 mins on this. Then her son was crying in the car and throwing a hissy fit. (He looked like he was maybe 5? Cute kid.) Eventually, a manager came out and said there was nothing they could do about the inventory, but that they would give her the red one for free. Then she STILL got mad and threatened to call Wal-Mart customer support to complain about the employees' "behavior"! And of course, she took the cotton candy eventually and then gave to her son to quiet him. The kid started smiling, so I assume the red cotton candy was okay? Seems like the kid just wanted cotton candy regardless.

Also, the Wal-Mart employee who was giving me my groceries was coughing. Thankfully I didn't have to sign anything at this time. She just put stuff in the trunk and that was that.

I very much appreciate the loving intentions from people here, Fern, Wild Coyote, ~Christina, Blue Bird, bluebicycle and many others

with love and respect