Bipolar check-in #46

I'm doing pretty good overall. Yesterday was rough with some extreme paranoia but today is better. I finally got my own internet service since the building's wifi sucks. So I'm able to actually watch stuff on Netflix and download games on my Xbox and play online. (the internet here wasn't fast enough to do that) so I'm happy about that.

I have been obsessively watching stuff on Netflix, there's just so much good stuff I haven't had a chance to watch over the past couple of years. That's a good distraction. I took a 2 hour walk the other day, which was nice. It's extremely hot (I hate warm weather and love autumn and winter) but I know it's good to get out. I bought some new sneakers since I'll be walking more.

Also I have a crockpot being delivered. I'm excited to start cooking with that. I've never had my own before as an adult. I plan on making homemade meatballs and spicy Italian sausage with pasta. I know there's tons and tons of good food you can cook with crockpots.

Planned on cleaning today but I somehow didn't wake up until 2pm which is very unusual for me. Now I just don't feel up to it. I missed my morning meds. Oh well, I'll get back on track tomorrow.

I'm thinking of getting back into studying Italian and Japanese. Need to draw some more too. Gotta get back into all my hobbies.

A warm hello to all,

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!
I have been missing out! For some reason, I've been sleeping very long hours (16 hours last night) and still nodding off as I am writing this.

@Blue_Bird, I LOVE crock pots. Cooked with 2 of mine yesterday! There are so many recipes on the net! If I am not expecting a crowd for dinner, I cook extra and freeze some.

Okay, I need to heat dinner before I fall asleep!

Love to All!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... Yeah I only literally run in stores to get meds and any food items and get out... Maybe 2 out of 10 people around here are wearing a mask.. I am so upset over it.. So I practically run through the stores dodging people.. Im sure I look stupid LOL

Can you order those flip flops online???

Sleeeepy pants !!! Ahhh listen to your Body !

Ohhhh I have been meaning to mention this... I love musicals , Rent , Moulin Rouge, Burlisque etc

Well I have no idea how I missed " The Greatest Showman" Its based on the life of PT Barum as in Barnum and Baily circus ! It is my absolute favorite ! I love everything about it... My husband isnt a fan of musicals but absolutely loves this one ....

Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron and the whole crew.. Just amazing !! We have watched it probably 8-9 times now... Its a great feel good movie

I absolutely LOVE the greatest showman! I love Hugh jackman’s voice, have since He played valjean in Les miserables. It’s such a great movie.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ! I need to pull out Les Mis... That is something I watch when Steve is sleeping , he just cant deal with that one LOL

I already hated going to stores and now my county jumped from 87 to 112. The paper said most of those are in the 30-40 year old range. Those are the ones not wearing masks. Yikes. I do the same thing Cristina. I run in grab what's on my list and get out. But those un masked people make me nervous. I've been putting it off and now I'm out of milk and cheese nearly out of mums bread. Tomorrow is a holiday so I'll go Tuesday. Won't kill us to go without but better planning could have avoided running out of things.

Today was rather a nice day tho. Despite forecasters calling for thunderstorms the day was sunny and not too hot. All the neighbors were out on their mowers. I never put my hearing aids in so it was nice sitting in the sun reading.

Have a low level anxiety otherwise doing fine.

Hey Guys I just wanted to share this.......

My Friend Kim ordered some paint by number kits when Covid started, Yes normally paint by numbers are usually garbage looking... But I have seen pictures of hers as she is working on it and its truly gorgeous... They are like 20 bucks a piece.. I cant imagine how I can choose one but I am getting Steve and I one when we get paid in June... anyway here ya go , Might be of interest to someone

http://https://blingpainting.com/

These are quite interesting!
Thanks for the info!
Love ya!

I've been enjoying reading everyone's posts, just haven't felt the need to chip in. Things are quiet in Bipolarland for me. I've gotten back to playing Scrabble a lot. It's going well. I had eight straight wins yesterday! It's Summer-like weather here but i'm not outdoorsy and i'm okay with it. I like a nice hotel room not the beach.

Hugs to all who struggle!

Welp it’s 3:15am and I have not slept. I also have a massive headache that I desperately need to sleep off. I hope I get SOME sleep. I’m visiting my husband’s grave tomorrow and then we are having RS’s parents over for Memorial Day.

Suxors.

Well, this sucks. I bought two pairs of pants (in the same color) for using when I ride my bike. Turns out that I only got ONE pair. I guess I should have picked another color to ensure they didn't forget to put the second pair in the bag.

I sent them an email because I doubt they'll have customer service taking phone calls on Memorial Day. Hopefully my email doesn't get lost in the pile of other customer service requests.

Anyway, I'm actually doing okay mood wise. It's "that time of the month" for me, but no moodiness whatsoever.

I managed to sleep from 8pm until 4:30am after taking 2mg of klonopin. No wake ups in the middle of the night for once!! woohoo!!

Managed to fall asleep around 5am but it was fitful and only lasted till 7. Oh well at least my headache is mostly gone.

I think we need a mattress topper for our new mattress. I will have to wait until I can afford it. I had to take more money out of my savings to afford rent. That was AFTER running my credit card up $200. I bought tons of **** on amazon. I am not being thrifty. I’m looking forward to using some of my inheritance to pay off my credit cards and car but that doesn’t mean I get to run them up even more. I don’t know how long it will even be before my inheritance is even available for my use.

Not taking Haldol any more, side effects are too bad.

Gonna call my doc tomorrow (today's memorial day) and see if I can get an appointment. Honestly, I really want to be on an LAI eventually, something like risperdal or abilify.

@BirdDancer You are very welcome!

I can only hope something I'd shared will be helpful in some way. You, your family, including your dad, of course, have been under a lot of extra stress for a long time now. I think it's incredibly wise, your plan to have your dad evaluated by specialists both to potentially assist with your case and to be sure he is getting the care he needs in any "placement."

Love and Prayers

I’m in the same boat with haldol. Akathisia, jaw spasms, shaking, and tremors. **** that.

I was really angry yesterday. Not even just like mood wise, But downright angry. About I don’t even know what. I only briefly showed my annoyance to my family when my I went downstairs for something. I spent the majority of the day shut upstairs in a room with a TV so I wouldn’t involve my family in how I was feeling. Today I feel better. I’m not angry and I feel ok anxiety wise and mood wise.

An entire pint of Ben And Jerry’s was involved yesterday so I still think it’s a bit of PMS but I’m not sure. Could just be general situational moodiness.

I tried Thorazine, not Haldol, and it did little for me. Trilafon, though, has really been excellent, so, might maybe have a quick read about it, too, and see what you think. Hope you find something that helps soon...

You're taking testosterone right? I've heard that can cause anger.

Yes I am taking it. This was the first time I got really really angry. I am glad I can control it though.

Just a quick post to say 'Happy Memorial Day' to all the American citizens. I will be watching military programs today. If the weather clears, I will ride over to Willamette National Cemetary to pay my respects. That is where my dad will be buired, along with my mom's ashes. Dad was a captain in Stuttgart for 8 years during the cold war. He is extremely proud of that period. I never served active-duty, but I did serve at the VA for quite a long while, trying my best to take care of our incredible veterans in the way they so richly deserve. I did my best.

I really do not think many Americans, or Europeans, for that mtter, fully grasp today just how close we all came to permanently speaking German and Japanese. We, the allies, were largely totally overmatched in terms of military competency and equipment quality--with a few obvious exceptions toward teh end of the conflict. But we somehow came together and won the war and changed the course of this planet forever. Both the Germans and the Japanese made some absolutely critical blunders that opened some doors for us. So, in truth, it was partly luck or random chance or perhaps hubris or maybe divine intervention--depending on one's world construct. And it is just worth quickly noting that we never could have achieved all that without the shocking sacrifices of the Russian people.

So, Happy Memorial Day, all. I can't really barbecue where I live now, but I will make a burger and some fake sweet potato fries, to celebrate... I am 95% vegan, but those darn burgers... Just gotta have one maybe once a month or so. I'm weird.

Hugs and love to all!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve had some depression for two days now. I’ve not wanted to do anything although I was cheered up by my sister and her family’s visit. I don’t think it’s the Lithium. Could be delayed reaction from M leaving. Anyway, I don’t like it and I’m concerned. I took my night medicine at 5:30 so I can try to sleep it off.
Again.

Aside from my sister’s visit, we had takeout from Cheddars and I sat in the sun and read. I took time this morning to remember the fallen and to honor their sacrifice.

I hope everyone is having a nice Memorial Day. Hugs to all.

My daughter and her family came over and I followed them to my dads grave. They put a white cross on his site. My sister, BiL and mum went out Friday and then yesterday my nephew went out. He's got two flags several flowers and now the cross.

My daughter loss her SSDI and insurance so she's paying over $400 for ten pills at a time! But like me she doesn't want to go off the latuda because she's so stable on it. That is just madness that her husband's insurance is taking so long to add her! It's been 7 months! She's not had insurance. My medicine is filled automatically every moth so by now I have about a weeks worth of extra I can give her. It's very amazing that we both respond to the same med at the same dose. I think there is something to the genetic theory s. She does use Goodrx and save some money that way, but I can't even imagine!

Im sorry your not feeling well. It very well could be from M leaving.. I struggle everytime I see my Daughter in Florida , we leave and Im a mess for a while..

I hope a great nights sleep will help even you back out.. Im glad you got out in the sun today