Bipolar check-in #46

I'm glad you got things for your fathers grave

Has your daughter checked into the savings card that Latuda offers? I just checked and it says it will allow for up to 400.00 off for a 30 day supply... I dont know if she has tried this or not, probably has so just ignore this... Can't her Pdoc help her out with some samples each month?

Heres the phone number 1-855-552-8832

I hate that psych meds are so freaking expensive.. I know the drug companies need to make money to pay for development of new medications but .... Damn

I feel a huge rant on Big Pharma coming on but Ill shut up..... They disgust me.

I'd like to rant about Big Pharma and it's enabler, too. I'm referring to the situation in the US, not necessarily in other countries. Many other countries don't have the same kind of "enabler" that people in the US have. In the end, the "enabler" is the biggest a-hole of them all.

I used to use the Latuda Savings Card, and it reduced my monthly copay to $15, but that was WITH big name insurance (Aetna). If a person has no insurance, even if they forgive $400 of the 30-day supply, it could be outrageously expensive. I don't know what the final situation would be for a person with no insurance, but I recall my pharmacist telling me that my 30-day supply of Latuda (when I used to take it) had a total cost of over $1,000. I would hope that some other means of reducing that astronomical price is available.

The morning weather sucked and I felt sucky, but as the day went on the sun started to shine. Hubby and I had a lovely dinner on our beautiful deck. The temperature was perfect. We were surrounded by flowers, our lilac bush, and my herb garden. The birds were singing.

Oh I agree agree agree ! My medication for PsA? Xeljanz... out of pocket it is 4900.00 there is no way I could afford any medication for my PsA if my Rhuemutologist didnt get it pre authorized, I am grateful , But I also think one day my insurance company might just say NO...

Cost of psych meds is another way of population control, Some people think I am crazy when I say that.. but when people cant afford there meds psych or medical and have no choice but to try and live with out, People die because they cant afford blood pressure or heart meds. Diabetics ration insulin.. Oh I can rant for hours and hours !

Yup, she used them too.

Ohh you don't want me to get started on big pharma and the way USA pushes meds. Despite how well the latuda works I was mighty tempted to quit when they started making commercials for it. I'm so against advertising meds. And I'm against political involvement in things that should be decided by doctors and scientists not politicians in league with drug companies. Most developing meds are funded by the government so all that ha huhuie yelling they do is a false claim. The government should be getting drugs at cost since they fund the labs. But in USA it's big handouts by the government to drug companies

That sounds lovely . It has been a hot muggy day here, Even the dogs went and did there business and bark to summon me to hurry out and get them LOL They have me trained well I have considered shaving down our one dog, Hes got long hair and its so impossibly thick its hard to dig down to find skin for flea and tick meds.. I told Steve we would probably burn up 4 sets of clippers and traumatize Sirius, I do not think he would handle the event well... Hes a beautiful dog for sure...Id probably fall over laughing if I ever saw him without all that hair

Oh I AGREE % !

The ER that is recording a couple days a week? Every single commercial break is Rexulti and Trillinex.... I can and do fast forward but I see the crap and I get so angry

I meet my new pdoc tomorrow via phone. I can't think even with headphones on. I'm screwed. I forgot to make more T appointments, ****. How do I stay focused long enough to do an hour long intake with new pdoc? I'm going to hook my headset to the phone so he's directly in my ears. hopefully I can focus more that way. anymore tricks to help me get through the appointment? I'm going to tell him I'm using headphones to focus.

Well take time right now to write up info on yourself.

What your daily life struggles are right now, Tell him what your days mostly consist of.. Are you hallucinating? and dont pull the OMG they might send me IP ..Covid is keeping lots of people out , Pdocs dont want to send anyone unless it is truly life or death or your going to harm your husband and son, I know you have had homicidal thoughts about them in the past.

What meds have you been on over the years.. what helped , what didnt and what ones you simple will not take due to side effects.

Why are you seeking help from a Pdoc? Are you wanting to get better? Do you want to allow your life to become bigger? or do you just wants meds that can help you check out so you dont have to cope with any of it?

You are the only one that can decide what help you want and need. Most Pdocs want to see people working hard to find stability , but they know some people just dont want to make the effort..

So write this stuff up, and do yourself a favor and just be honest.. You need an appt with him just as much as anyone else does so please dont fall back on that line of thinking.

I just hope that one day you will want to leave that corner you walk yourself into more often than not.

I'm having a great time playing Scrabble! I had two plays over a hundred today! WOOHOO!!! So glad to have my hobby back. I had ***** games since i got back to it in December. Six months of frustration is quite a long time. Every time i think Scrabble is dead once and for all, it comes roaring back!

My dog is being a bit strange. She's staying as near to me as she can get and gazing at me like she's trying to tell me something. She didn't eat today. She had a noisy belly so i gave her a Pepcid-AC as vets say to do. It's quieted down now. Hopefully it's just a stomach ache. Lord knows i've had my share of those. It could be the heat too. It's as hot as July.

Hugs to all those who struggle!

That's a great list, @~Christina .

Thanks for posting. I've had recent conversations with friends thinking they want to get into therapy. I've been urging them to first clarify what their goals might be. I tend to think they're more likely to find a T with the right skills for their goals if they know at least some of their goals. For instance, if someone wants to master DBT, then why settle for a T not trained in DBT, unless your choices are limited.

I honestly think knowing one's own goals is important!

@Miguel'smom I have a lot of faith you'll be just fine. Try to listen to the call where you'll have few/no distractions. What else helps? I often make a list to check off topics we've addressed. I also doodle a lot when I am concentrating on listening. You can do this!

Love to All!

Ffs. It’s midnight and I haven’t slept still. I only got TWO hours of sleep last night! Whyyyy can’t I sleep??? Is it the makings of mania? But I am not euphoric!!! Not fair!!!

Your probably dealing with the effects of stopping the haldol. The half life and then the time it takes your brain to go back to functioning sans meds?? I think this happened the last time you got off it.

Does benedryl help at all? I keep Nyquil around and occasionally take a shot or 2 as it can help me find a bit of sleep every once an awhile.. I say get up and do jumping jacks or any kinda of cardio that might help burn off the edge and you could at least get a few hours sleep or at least your body might cooperate and at least let you stay in bed allowing your body to rest

Call your Pdoc tomorrow?? Better to catch this quick than let it get worse

Im sorry this is happening

Thanks Christina. Benadryl and NyQuil give me restless arms and legs. I don’t remember if it happened before, but then, I don’t remember a lot of things. You would probably know better than me at this point lol.

I am in IOP and will see my IOP doc sometime this week.

If you have never tried the Ambien class and therefore, are not tolerant to them yet, they often are helpful initially and short-term. But after awhile, they all stop working for me.

I only know of one medicine that reliably will put me to sleep any more. And it is designed to keep folks awake. Weird. My brain is soooo weird. I've been on a little over 50 medications on this journey. My brain is simply not capable of being sedated any longer. Don't have any idea what this means...

So, now, I just do not even worry about it any more. I sleep when sleepy. If that is at night, terrif. If not, I try to make good use of the time. I am aware that it is not good for my long-term health, but I accept that it is beyond my control. I feel much better approaching it this way. I personally believe teh sleep issues we with this illness face are far, far more complex and common than the books would have us believe...

Well...I made a pretty hysterical and embarrassing post last night and have since deleted it thank god though I’m sure some of you saw it. I was just imagining scenarios in my head and freaking myself out. After I wrote it out though I calmed down enough to go back to bed around 3:30 and try to sleep again. But I couldn’t still. I was still trying to quiet my thoughts. After the freak out, I just had music bouncing around my head, snippet of one song to the next. I fell asleep around 5am. It is now 6:15am and I am back awake.

I’m not sure how I’m going to function at work today. I feel like listening to everyone talk on the phone at one time is going to aggravate the hell out of me. At least I don’t have to actually go in looking like hell like I’m sure I do. My eyeballs feel like they’re about to pop out of my head.

I just don’t know. The haldol withdrawal in January was NOTHING like this. I barely noticed it. Maybe a minor sleep interruption. That was it. And I had been on it for 1.5 years at that point. But maybe it’s the coming off and going back on and coming off again? But then, my main pdoc said I could take it PRN.

This has absolutely never happened to me. Even when manic, I’ve always gotten between 4-6 hour of sleep each night. I’ve never stayed up till 5am, much less two days in a row. And I am not euphoric, I dint want to drink, I don’t want to have we’d. I’m angry and annoyed. I’m not mixed because I’m not depressed at all. I just want to sleep and you can get if I had a sleep med on hand I would keep taking it every hour until I fell asleep regardless of silly thing like “dose limit”.

I sent my IOP therapist A desperate email in the middle of the night too so we’ll see if she gets back to me or not. Wish me luck.

I woke up in a pissy mood. That's it for now.

Alright, I admit it, I’m manic af. But it’s not fun. I am supremely pissed off. But thankfully my IOP dr is seeing me at 11.

Edit: I am sitting in complete silence yet I can hear my rock playlist playing clear as day. Very quietly but it’s there. ****. This is not good. I hope and pray to god that this dr does not make me go IP.

Edit again: dr prescribed seroquel which while I hope it works I don’t want to be on it long term because of weight gain.

I too did not sleep. It was too hot. I tossed and turned got up at 3:30 to put ice cold water on my throat, wrist and in back of my elbows and drink cold water. Helped a bit was almost asleep at 6 when my alarm went off. Turned it off and tried to get back to the almost sleep place. Didn't quite make it but had lucid dreaming.

Binge-watched a 10- or so part Smithsonian series on the Pacific Theater in WWII all day yesterday. Heartbreaking. But an important reminder of the evil humans are capable of, particularly when led by evil and incompetent men or women. I guess there is not much worse than being completely and uttery wrong and yet, totally dedicated to the death to that complete incorrectness. Something to never forget, I guess.

Finished editing the hospital book. Need to just fix some formatting and a few little things and then, it is ready to send off. Pretty happy about this.

Hugs and love ot all struggling. Don't give up. Things will turn around. The yalways do.

Thanks Christina, I've been writing stuff down. I know things have to go really bad on the call for me to be hospitalized. I don't feel I'm at that level. I'm going to be honest.

So that didn't go well at all. All my medications are the same of course didn't expect that to change. maybe the prozac liquid went up I'm not sure. He says there's no dose that low. We'll see. I like him but He's going to try to get me back on the injection. He was getting frustrated with me and you could tell. The whole intake took 25 min. I don't know if it's because he wasn't getting the proper information from me or what. it just went really badly. Oh well I'll take whatever he gives me and we can fix it later. I give up. I was able to make an appointment with my T for Monday so that's a plus.

Well I see him in three months.

I’ve been feeling fine for 2 days now. The Wellbutrin is helping with my depression at least. For the most part. I’m still trying to figure out therapy but I’m sure I’ll have something figured out. I’m wondering what she’ll say when I see her. I keep forgetting about it for a couple hours and then remembering it all of a sudden.

Just got back from the doc.

He put me on Fanapt, gonna start titrating from 1mg twice a day to 6mg twice a day

Has your day gotten any better ?

I am so happy you have something.. Im pretty sure Seroquel is going to help get sleep and things will get batter..