[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Phobias are such a hell. I, too, have a fear of choking. It started when I was in Paris and choked on something, alone in my hostel room. I completely lost my ability to breathe until I forced myself to remain calm and breathe, to allow my throat to relax.

It was terrifying. Sine then, it has happened several times. I suspect that some meds cause muscle relaxation, which includes swallowing muscles. Eating, drinking, and taking pills is always a source of anxiety now.

One tip I have is to eat and drink with your head facing forward, not turned to either side.

Talking with your T is a good idea, especially since you don't know why your phobia began.

Thank you for the tip, I'll make sure to keep that in mind. I'm sorry you deal with this type of anxiety too, it's horrible

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thank you for the tip, I'll make sure to keep that in mind. I'm sorry you deal with this type of anxiety too, it's horrible

I have also been dxd with similar It SUCKS

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thank you I take my pills one at a time, but once the pill is in my mouth with water I panic and sometimes swallow too fast and then I get scared. Someone suggested taking them in yogurt or pudding and that seems like something that may help, I'll have to give that a try and continue working on relaxation exercises. I really hope that someday I'll be over this fear

Relaxation is a really important point. Every time I have choked it has been when I was eating or drinking without being relaxed. Thanks for the reminder. I need to remember to calm myself before swallowing things.

[~Christina]

Hello everyone !

I wish I could go back and see how and what everyone has gone through or doing.. But thats impossible.

Physically I finally really feel back to normal from TIA . I do have Type 2 Diabetes now. This comes as no shock as I had gestational diabetes while pregnant with my daughter, and metabolic syndrome from Psych meds, So I am on meds and my numbers are doing well and in good range. I've also lost weight so that is a plus.

Steve continues to be in good health which considering how bad the first almost 3/4 of the year were horrible, I am beyond thrilled and over the moon happy.

Tomorrow I have my Colonscopy and they are also doing a EDG scope to see why I am choking almost daily. So today no food just that blasted gallon of Ick to drink. But my testing is starting at 6am so that is good, But its 1.5 hours away so that will be joyful

Steves oldest sons wife and Grandchild has Covid. So far they have just a manageable temp, significant body aches, pain and extremely tired, sleeping almost around the clock. Ryan so far has tested negative but he must be tested every 3 days and he is working from home.

I hope everyone has finished Christmas shopping and looking forward to the Holidays even though Covid has ruined most peoples gatherings. We plan to do lots video chats.

Love and Hugs to All

[Nammu]

So good to hear good news Christina! May 2021 be a much less eventful for you and Steve. I’ll send some healing vibes to Ryan’s wife and child.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

So good to hear good news Christina! May 2021 be a much less eventful for you and Steve. I’ll send some healing vibes to Ryan’s wife and child.

Thank You Nammu You are always so kind I hope your all set for the Holidays

[Nammu]

Yup, all set. Gifts all delivered and decorating all done. All the boxes checked off. A great plus. Has been above ave temps, mostly in the 30’s and no snow.

[VerMOZZica]

Originally Posted by BethRags

That is inhumane. Horrifying. Unforgivable. I'm so sorry.

Thank you BethRags .

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

My family member, really my replacement father, died last night. I'm so glad he isn't suffering anymore; the last 4-5 months were bad for him. But I'm going to miss him so much. Not much else to say.

I'm so sorry for your loss, BeyondtheRainbow. Please be gentle with yourself through this time.

[Victoria'smom]

BeyondtheRainbow- I'm sorry. Please try to take extra care of yourself right now
~christina- I'm so glad to see you and Steve are doing better.

[*Beth*]

Hey there, Christina! Great that Steve's doing well, now may good health come to everyone else! I hope your tests tomorrow go easily.

[Victoria'smom]

I talked to T today we talked about what I want my legacy to be. Possibly writing my obituary or gravestone or both. Picturing myself as a senior and looking towards the future. How I can help people from home. If I'm safe and when to go to the ER. She's upset I didn't call and it hurt her I "was" that depressed. I didn't tell her I can't sleep because of ghosts. That I'm questioning my lack of faith. She said Miguel will understand about the gifts but not if I wasn't around. Looking back I think I made it seem that those thoughts were connected to the gifts not getting here. Which I think are two separate things. I think lack of sleep and "paranoia" is getting to me. I'm thinking any moment the cops are going to arrest me for fraud of some sort. (I have never committed fraud.) Then there's the ghosts. Then sharp change in religious believe AND being pulled to listening to the bible all day every day. H thinks I'm in a mixed episode. He doesn't even know about the religion stuff or the cops.

Just stumbling along.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Hello everyone !

I wish I could go back and see how and what everyone has gone through or doing.. But thats impossible.

Physically I finally really feel back to normal from TIA . I do have Type 2 Diabetes now. This comes as no shock as I had gestational diabetes while pregnant with my daughter, and metabolic syndrome from Psych meds, So I am on meds and my numbers are doing well and in good range. I've also lost weight so that is a plus.

Steve continues to be in good health which considering how bad the first almost 3/4 of the year were horrible, I am beyond thrilled and over the moon happy.

Tomorrow I have my Colonscopy and they are also doing a EDG scope to see why I am choking almost daily. So today no food just that blasted gallon of Ick to drink. But my testing is starting at 6am so that is good, But its 1.5 hours away so that will be joyful

Steves oldest sons wife and Grandchild has Covid. So far they have just a manageable temp, significant body aches, pain and extremely tired, sleeping almost around the clock. Ryan so far has tested negative but he must be tested every 3 days and he is working from home.

I hope everyone has finished Christmas shopping and looking forward to the Holidays even though Covid has ruined most peoples gatherings. We plan to do lots video chats.

Love and Hugs to All

Christina!! Always good to hear from you! Good luck with your test. Sending good thoughts for Steve's relatives.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

@childofchaos831, I'm sorry to read that you had a stroke. I apologize for not noticing that you wrote that. I've been so busy, I regret I haven't been fully up-to-date on reading posts. I do hope that you have a full recovery from it and stay well.

@Miguel'smom, @Mountaindewed, and @bpcyclist, I want to send you many virtual hugs and positive vibes that your depressions and/or other struggles ease very soon. I must confess that I am quite poor at knowing what to say when people have suicidal and/or other hopeless symptoms. I realize it is easy to say that things will change for the better with time (I believe/know that to be true), but how to get that across is difficult. I know that when a person is desperate or in great pain, some relief seems far away or impossible. I lost a loved one to suicide a few years ago. I wish I had known what to say to him, but I didn't. All I know is that this disorder is a bastard. We must fight it the best that we can. Bipolar disorder never ever deserves to destroy us.

Thank you so much, Soupe. Little better tonight. Yay!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I talked to T today we talked about what I want my legacy to be. Possibly writing my obituary or gravestone or both. Picturing myself as a senior and looking towards the future. How I can help people from home. If I'm safe and when to go to the ER. She's upset I didn't call and it hurt her I "was" that depressed. I didn't tell her I can't sleep because of ghosts. That I'm questioning my lack of faith. She said Miguel will understand about the gifts but not if I wasn't around. Looking back I think I made it seem that those thoughts were connected to the gifts not getting here. Which I think are two separate things. I think lack of sleep and "paranoia" is getting to me. I'm thinking any moment the cops are going to arrest me for fraud of some sort. (I have never committed fraud.) Then there's the ghosts. Then sharp change in religious believe AND being pulled to listening to the bible all day every day. H thinks I'm in a mixed episode. He doesn't even know about the religion stuff or the cops.

Sending you a tsunami of love and support.

[bpcyclist]

Had a very good day. Got tons done. Lawyers and accountants and every other type of help imaginable. Coming together. Need way more time on pc. Need it. Must carve out the hours and be more involved. Hugs and love.

[falcon09]

Hey all, sorry for dropping off the face of the earth.

Going to try clozaril again next week...just anything to stop being so miserable

[MuddyBoots]

They predicted we would get 3-6 inches. We got 3 ft because a band of heavy snow (4 inches PER HOUR) stalled over us. I ain’t complaining! Gonna break out the snowshoes later.

I forgot when my call back day for setting up pnurse appointment is. I think it was Wednesday or Tuesday but I didn’t call to set up an appointment because I totally forgot but apparently I also forgot to write down when my call back date was so no clue. Also my therapist has not called me back to set up an appointment. I called her Monday, it’s now Friday. I’m not going to call her again though, I like not seeing her. I also like not talking to my pnurse.

[Soupe du jour]

I just got done wiping almost all shelves and drawer interiors in my whole house, except the shelves in the basement and garage (and my husband's bathroom, which still has stuff in it - Yup!) Hubby is going to a notary public to have a form notarized.

We had a conference call with our realtor yesterday. Unless something really major comes up, which we hope not, our closing date on our house will be next Tuesday, December 22. The movers will have taken all of our stuff for shipment the day before, Monday, December 21. We'll just have a last minute cleanup as well as a smoke, carbon monoxide, and sump pump inspection, which we expect will be fine. Then we set out on our road trip the night of the closing. We are supposed to hear about the mold inspection results today, but from what we were told, there should be minimal, if any, remediation needed. I believe if it is needed, we'll just give the buyer some money off towards it. This whole transaction is not over until it's over.

We did end up offering the buyer some stuff, for free. That includes our old IKEA master bedroom suite, a beautiful bookcase, a nice twin-size bed, our deck furniture, and some other smaller miscellaneous stuff. They want it, so at least we won't have to struggle getting rid of these things last minute. Apparently they are just starting out and appreciate this stuff. Maybe that will make them less likely to be tough if anything minor does come up.

I made hotel reservations in Charleston, South Carolina for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. They are the only reservations we'll make this far ahead. We're splurging on that, given the holiday. The rest of the places we'll stay should be much cheaper.

[*Beth*]

Doing pretty well, except those darn late-afternoon dips into depression and anxiety. I have a lot of support from my therapist, thank the universe.

It's great to see so many of you this morning! Love and comforting hugs all around

[Nammu]

Ooo last night was a huge fight with insomnia. My bed turn hard, into a cement block and every pillow was a rock. I went into the spare bedroom the bed is softer but the pillows were still rocks and there’s no fan so it was hot. My cat thinks that’s his bed so he was in and out all night beep beeping me on the nose to see when I’d leave his bed! I must have slept at some point for a couple hours cause I was in a huge school/hospital/ university I was utterly depressed and a punishment for me was to put me in a underwater suit and take me to a carnival. People were playing games, dancing and sitting at little round tables drinking cocktails and it was all underwater. Like I was an anthropologist studying them except it was my punishment for being depressed. The air hoses came out at one point and I was about to drowned when the professor put the hoses back. The special effects were cool tho.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m doing good today. Getting used to things. Group is much easier now than when I started it. I miss my therapist like crazy though and the first week of group is just now over. Got 1-3 more weeks left. I wish she’d see me at the same time. I could really use the double amount of support. But I’m doing good today. I’m trying like crazy and I can tell I’m benefitting from it.

I think the Fresca I was inhaling could have been part of the problem. It interferes with every med I’m on. Once I stopped drinking that I could feel things start to work again and my stomach stopped hurting so much too.

I also cut way back on the caffeine. I started drinking stress relief instead of black tea. So my anxiety is also way down today. It’s the lowest today that it’s been in awhile. I also slept well last night and the night before by using some coping skills I have. I’m glad I’m figuring out what I need to do in order to succeed and feel better. I also took a walk this morning and I may take another one in a bit.

[*Beth*]

Heads up: Check Community Feedback for Doc John's message about PC changing on Monday.

[daladico]

Hi pc family!
Hope you guys are doing well <3

I’ve been super busy lately, realized I need to set some personal boundaries to take better care of myself.

I had a great morning routine going for a while- gotta get back into it. Wake up then take a bath and acknowledge/allow my feelings/emotions and journal/meditate, then exercise. This routine helped me soooo much to reflect and focus my energy and start the day right- time to make it a priority again!

Had a great time hanging out with bpc earlier this week! One of the best people I know

Grateful for you guys and this place.
Have a good day my friends <3