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#51
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![]() Anonymous41462, Nammu
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#52
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My mood has been slightly low lately, and I'm still getting so tired early at night. I think I've been sleeping as many as 10 or 11 hours per night, and a bit tired off and on throughout the day. My therapist cancelled my appointment for yesterday via a text on Thursday evening. I didn't see the text until late. I was relieved. She offered me a new appointment for almost a week later, but the date was not workable. I said as much in a text response late Thursday, but have yet to hear from her and it's now Saturday afternoon. I might just never agree to another session with her. The cancellation makes that a bit easier for me to end it. I've told Hubby that I was not clicking with her, that she hasn't really "gotten" my situation (or me), and that she's too stiff for my liking. Even when she's texted me, instead of addressing me by my first name, she addresses me, literally, as "Mrs. First & Last name". I find that very strange! I will, of course, look for a new therapist soon, but perhaps give myself a brief break from it until I finally get public healthcare coverage (hopefully in June). At least I do have a new psychiatrist. That should suffice for the time being.
My husband's friend in the US is still psychotic. His wife (and I believe sister) went to my American psychiatrist to consult on the matter. The friend refused to go. My old psychiatrist told her that based on his research on the covid-psychosis phenomenon, and his age and history, he believed the friend might have a brain inflammation, and that he should go to a neurologist asap and get an MRI. Apparently the friend's wife has an appointment with one early this coming week. I think his wife will manage to get him there. I hope! The friend already refuses any form of medication because of a paranoia that anything (even a vitamin or Tylenol) will destroy his stomach. My husband talked to him over the phone yesterday and told him he MUST go to the neurologist and if they want to give him medication, he can ask for an injectable instead of pills. Frankly, I think an injectable would be the best choice. They could potentially give him steroids that way. If he also needed an antipsychotic, that could also be given in depot shot form. Apparently many people who've had the psychosis from covid did well on risperidone. Risperidone has a depot shot that I think may even last for 2 weeks -- likely long enough to make a real difference. Last edited by Soupe du jour; May 15, 2021 at 10:57 AM. |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, buddha1too, Nammu, Polibeth, Sunflower123, Victoria'smom, ~Christina
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#53
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I’m doing ok today. My anxiety is through the roof though. I went to Dunkin Donuts to order a vanilla sweet cold foam cold brew coffee and they gave me a cold brew vanilla coffee. The lady was super distracted and was talking to someone else about a quarter she found on the floor and then she looked at her nails and then finally noticed us and had us pay. I’m not one to make a fuss when a place gets my order wrong and I was at the drive thru so I just drank it. The coffee wasn’t bad but it had 347 milligrams of caffeine. And since it didn’t have any milk in it my heartburn sucks too. But I have zero kombucha in my house so I won’t be having any more caffeine. But it will be a 3 possibly 4 Xanax type of day. Having both a caffeine and a benzo addiction sucks.
Besides the anxiety things are going good. I’m glad I got my second Covid shot set up the day after my first in person therapy session. So I can discuss it with her the day before, and then deal with possible side effects the day after. I’m looking forward to therapy on Tuesday. She can be a bit unprofessional with the eating things and brushing her hair but she doesn’t seem to lose her patience or take her bad day out on me like the other one did. And so far I’m not having any transference with her unlike the last one. My new T randomly asked if I was ok during a session and I liked that she asked that. My old T would just assume I was anxious or having a hard time or was tired. Don’t get me wrong I still really miss the old one. But I’m starting to move on. I did email my new one last Saturday and I explained that the move was getting to me and I was stressed. She replied on Tuesday morning and said to try to relax and engage my mind in other things. She apologized for not responding to my email sooner but she was out of the office. I know (for sure) that emails are a tricky thing so I’m trying and succeeding in rarely emailing her.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka Last edited by Mountaindewed; May 15, 2021 at 10:58 AM. |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Sunflower123
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#54
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They have changed the mask rule at Disney World- you only have to wear one indoors. Except when eating. I hope by March that the masks will be a thing of the past! (That's when we are going to WDW.)
The mask rules are going to change here soon too. Not sure when or what but its very soon. Noah might want to go on a walk with me. We shall see. My new mug has been keeping my coffee cold- sitting in the car for over an hour and the drink inside is ice cold! I don't know what to do today. My friend wants to take her dog to the dog park and have me tag along. She has been procrastinating about doing her taxes so she said she was finally going to do them today- 2 days before the deadline! Well N3 just messaged me. Better go see what he has to say.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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![]() ~Christina
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#55
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Cool find at the thrift! I feel foolish, but I didn't know there was such a thing as a meatball maker. I love vintage books. My husband and I have sold books online, many of them collectible, for 13 years.
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![]() Anonymous41462, ~Christina
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![]() Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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#56
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I'm sorry about your neighbors. I give you immense credit, though, for attempting to socialize with them. I smile and say Hi to me neighbors, but I never do more than that. How on earth can anyone deny covid at this point?! ![]() Glad you found the show. That's always fun - and relaxing!
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![]() Anonymous41462
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#57
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Okay, that is really WEIRD.
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![]() Anonymous41462, Soupe du jour
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![]() Soupe du jour
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#58
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A gorgeous day today! High 70's - I'll take open windows, fans, and not having to turn the a/c on.
So California is sticking with the mask mandate. "Maybe" on June 15th some mask requirements will be lifted, but most won't. I'm all for showing my vax card everywhere I go so I don't have to wear a mask. Heck, I can punch a hole in it and wear it around my neck ![]() I'm concerned because my son, Noah, (he's 32) has been telling me that he's having problems with anxiety. He's in a very high-stress tech job. He's an avid bicyclist, and has done yoga quite a bit. But he doesn't seem to know any practices specifically for reducing anxiety. So I gave him some ideas...the moment you have an anxious thought relax your shoulders and take a deep breath. "Tools" like that. I wish I could take my daughter-in-law to lunch and talk with her, kind-of get the scoop on how my son is doing day to day. I so fear bipolar disorder with him. He's basically a really optimistic, bright and light person, but he does get oddly irritable sometimes, I've noticed. Well, one of these days I'll go to lunch with her.
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Last edited by *Beth*; May 15, 2021 at 05:29 PM. |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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![]() Soupe du jour
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#59
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I got my gas/electric bill in the mail that I requested, so now I'm just waiting on two more proofs to arrive before the 9th! Gotta go, K is here!
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Nammu, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#60
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I may have done something dumb. As in, I stopped the evening zyprexa a couple of days ago and didn’t take my morning dose today. I am just so worried about gaining all the weight + more possibly. But today I am on the down side and anxiety ridden. I can’t tell if I’m freaking myself out or if I am genuinely on the way to paranoia again. And I don’t want to go back there. So I guess I’m going to just have to take it until I meet with my pdoc in the program on Tuesday and get them to take me off. I don’t want to take the chance of being stuck in my room under my weighted blanket because I’m too scared to leave.
I should get a pedicure too, just with clear polish because I hate the upkeep. But at the same time I always feel kinda guilty. Like I don’t deserve the pleasure at the obvious expense of someone else’s comfort. I might do it though. I dunno.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#61
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Please take your Zyprexa until Tuesday. You won't gain weight in those few days. I wonder if you can get your pdoc to prescribe an older AP? The newer ones all cause weight gain. I've been very pleased with Trilafon (perphenazine). I know what you mean about getting a pedi. I always feel bad for the tech doing the work. But I'm very friendly to them and I'm sure to tip really well.
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![]() Anonymous41462, bizi, Soupe du jour
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![]() Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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#62
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Someone shoulda been here to make a tik tok of my 93 yr old mum and me with the broken back changing out the window for the screen in the door. Would have made for a funny grab. It’s maybe a 5 minute task for an able bodied person took us 45 minutes plus I broke my thumb nail. It’s just a matter of taking out 6 small screws and these tiny plastic pieces and lifting out the window and putting the screen in and replacing the plastic piece and screwing the screws back in. But standing is hard for me. And standing and reaching and screwing at the same time is a feat. Lol.
Made mum a $15 dollar sandwich with the New York salted rye. That went much better than the door did. Sat outside in the sun and got rained on! Yes it rained while the sun was out. It wasn’t much and I just waited till it was over to open my book. There’s thunderstorms to the east of us but no real rain here. So all in all a successful day. Tonight is PBS night, so gonna relax
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, buddha1too, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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![]() Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#63
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Congrats on getting the job done! It doesn't sound at all easy to me. Sun/rain - did you get a rainbow?
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![]() Anonymous41462, bizi, Nammu, Soupe du jour
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![]() Nammu, Soupe du jour
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#64
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Oh, I didn’t think to look for a rainbow 🌈
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, bizi, Soupe du jour
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#65
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Tonight is the first Saturday in months I have not had S thoughts or SI. I just am slightly down but I think I’m just very tired. I just took a regular 9 milligram dose of melatonin which I’ve been taking nightly since last Saturday. Last Saturday was 30 milligrams. I knew moving would literally save my life and I was concerned and feeling unsafe with myself. Now I feel different.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, bizi, Moose72, Sunflower123
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![]() *Beth*
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#66
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![]() Anonymous41462, bizi
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![]() Mountaindewed
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#67
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Ok I’m hoping this works.
Here’s a pic of my puppy Gus. He’s almost 6 months old now. He is hilarious. I love him so much . ![]() He now weights 8 lbs. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, buddha1too, Moose72, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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![]() *Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, buddha1too, Moose72, Nammu, Polibeth, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, VerMOZZica
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#68
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It worked! He’s adorable 🥰
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous41462, bizi, Soupe du jour
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![]() Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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#69
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OMG! I can tell by the look on his face that he's a blast to have around. How lovely to witness the joie de vivre of the innocent youth!
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![]() Anonymous41462, bizi, ~Christina
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![]() *Beth*, ~Christina
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#70
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I could really go for a delicious NYC style sandwich on rye. Can you send me one? ![]() Last edited by Soupe du jour; May 16, 2021 at 02:39 AM. |
![]() Anonymous41462, bizi, Nammu
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![]() Nammu, ~Christina
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#71
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I quit my somewhat new Czech therapist. I think it is for the best. Hubby and I will look for someone new for me once I finally get set up with public insurance. It shouldn't be that long. I will, of course, still be meeting with my new Czech psychiatrist. I feel good with him, so far, and a psychiatrist is obviously crucial. As my American psychiatrist has asked me to "check in" with him, now and then, I might find his continuing support a bit supplemental.
This Tuesday we will have a handyman family friend stay with us a couple or few days. He's the same guy that stayed with us when we first moved in, but will come without his helper. He did many house prep/update tasks. We don't have as many this time, but still things my husband and I would struggle with too much. One task will be putting a video cam on our roof. We live right on a dangerous curve. We originally looked into getting a mirror put up, but that proved to be a bureaucratic nightmare. Even our landlady couldn't manage. With the video cam, we should hopefully be able to see the coming traffic on our cell phones. It's really crazy. Just a bit below and above us on the road there is a 30 kmh (18.5 mph) speed limit, but where we are they hiked it up to 50 kmh (31 mph), and of course cars often go much faster. The former occupant (our landlord's husband) once accidentally hit a young man on a motorcycle because of this issue. The young guy didn't get killed, but was hurt. Obviously the landlord's hubby was upset telling the story. They come out of nowhere. Last edited by Soupe du jour; May 16, 2021 at 02:45 AM. |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, bizi, buddha1too, Nammu, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#72
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I slept from 10:00pm to 4:00am today, so six hours, not bad. I didn't nap yesterday. I also ate very lightly as i was so aroused by my TV show i was too excited for thoughts of food to bother me. There's a new series i might check out today about an agoraphobic who witnesses a murder in the building opposite thru the windows. Might have some stuff about mental illness in it, which would be interesting.
I missed my one close neighbor yesterday morning because she was running-late due to allergies and of course, i was running-early due to hypomania. My dog and i were out for dawn at 6:00am and gave up waiting at 7:30am. My neighbor is not very good about her phone and i much prefer texting to calling but i guess if i really want to reach someone i'll have to use their contact-method-of-choice, hers being phone. I just find phone calls so intrusive and anxiety-provoking, from my past family violence involving a traditional hunk-of-metal-and-plastic phone which was used as a weapon once. My mom was squirrelly about the phone too ever after. She tried to gaslight me (she had problems) over the phone once and claimed my uncle sexually harassed her over the phone. She was a functional alcoholic so who knows how much of it was accidentally-on-purpose, because i don't believe she was truly malicious. Her alcoholic mind just ran away with her, i guess, is what i tell myself. It's easier now that i have my iPhone and it doesn't resemble that old-style phone but it's still stressful. My friend is older tho and resists carrying around her cell phone and responding to texts promptly. Well, i guess there's no changing her, at her age. @Soupe du jour: Hey, that's a really clever solution to your dangerous blind-spot on the road near your new home. Aint technology grand? @~Christina: Gus is cute cute cute! Is he a rascal? Hugs to all! ![]() |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous45023, bizi, buddha1too, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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![]() *Beth*, Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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#73
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Oh my god Christina your puppy is SO cute!!! I’m not a dog person but I can still admit the cuteness!
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() bizi, Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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![]() ~Christina
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#74
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, bizi, Nammu, Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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![]() *Beth*, ~Christina
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#75
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Yesterday was a pretty good day. I sat in the sun for a good part of the day with the new James Patterson book and some watermelon sangria. We celebrated mom’s 86th birthday by going out to an Italian restaurant with great lasagna and spumonti. My brother is still recovering from his fall but was able to go with a walker and my support.
My daughter may or may not be able to go to Florida but mom and I have decided we’re going regardless. Thelma and Louise on the move. I have so much to do to get ready. I have so much going on right now that sometimes I feel like my life is spinning out of control. I don’t like that so I’ve started what I call Project Serenity to simplify my life. I’m being decisive about what remains and what goes. We’ll see how it works out. Hugs to all. |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, bizi, buddha1too, Nammu, Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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![]() *Beth*, bizi, Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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