Bipolar check-in #56

I sleep under it every night. I can not sleep without it.

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I am really struggling between the lamictal to stabilize my mood the seroquel for sleep and the caffeine to be able to do my job. I’m meeting with my doctor tomorrow to get a note for reasonable accommodations so that I don’t ever have to worry about having an irregular schedule. I’m about ready to take a leave of absence or go back on disability .

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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 Just got back from going to the kidney doctor. My brother’s kidney function is 36% and he is at Stage 3 of Chronic Kidney Disease. You can’t get it back but you can try and maintain what you have. There are five stages. Dialysis starts at 15%. He has already stated that is not an option. I was calm and jovial with mom and my brother through the longest lunch and longest drive ever then called my daughter. She’s been warning me for years to prepare myself and hasn’t pulled any punches. I appreciate that. The 10-20 years I envision just isn’t realistic. All cried out for right now. Going to the pool early tomorrow to float it out. I hope everyone has a peaceful evening.

Hugs

What about a regular hospital?
I am sorry you are suffering.
bizi

So, got desperate, figured out hat=bed, but it didn't work and have a migraine now. Gonna go split into a reality where you can divide by zero and everything equals nothing. I'm winning.

Struggling so much right now.

I also hope your brother changes his mind about taking the kidneys seriously. My grandmother had to have dialysis and it's no fun. Do you think he is depressed? Why else would he be so casual? I have some kidney damage and I try to do my best to arrest further damage. I definitely don't want to ever get diabetes, if I can help it.

@~Christina and @Sapien, sending hugs so that your current struggles are alleviated shortly. Hugs to all others who need them.

Hubby and I got our first covid shots. Pfizer versions. So far I feel just fine. Not even a sore arm. I'm not sure if that will change in the coming hours. While I type this it's already been about three hours, since the poke. The joint was so hot inside, though. Both Hubby and I were sweating. Of course there was no air conditioning! I swear that Hubby and I sweat more than the other people we see. I truly think our medications play a part. I didn't used to sweat so easily and much when I was younger. I'm guessing the Seroquel XR? Well, I've never liked the heat despite growing up in New Jersey, which has hot and HUMID summers. I think I was made to live in winter/spring/fall only.

When walking back to the car from the vaccination site, we discovered an outstanding bakery. They're not all created equal here. The baguette is the best I've had in ages! I only ate two slices because I'm currently trying to lose some weight and eat a very healthy diet. So far I've done well these past couple days. I also pre-planned tomorrow's and Friday's meals. I succeed best when I do this pre-planning.

Oh god! Another sleepless night, my eyes are so gritty. I did stay in bed tho. I’m so exhausted that getting up even during the hot flashes is too much. I must say though watching loony toones at 6 in the morning is getting to be a habit. I do love those old cartoons though Popeye is irritating.

[QUOTE=Soupe du jour;7087641]@[URL="https://mysupportforums.org/member.php?u=143660"]~

Hubby and I got our first covid shots. Pfizer versions. So far I feel just fine. Not even a sore arm. I'm not sure if that will change in the coming hours. While I type this it's already been about three hours, since the poke. The joint was so hot inside, though. Both Hubby and I were sweating. Of course there was no air conditioning! I swear that Hubby and I sweat more than the other people we see. I truly think our medications play a part. I didn't used to sweat so easily and much when I was younger. I'm guessing the Seroquel XR? Well, I've never liked the heat despite growing up in New Jersey, which has hot and HUMID summers. I think I was made to live in winter/spring/fall

I got the Pfizer too. I think it was the following day I had joint pain in my hands and shoulders. A Tylenol took care of it though. Compared to getting covid it was very tolerable.

I hear you about spring/fall/winter. Yeah I think the meds cause the increased sweating. Don’t know if I could take the European tendency to not have AC, I live with AC even in Minnesota. Of course this year the heat has been record breaking for June. I’m just glad I don’t live in the west, over 100 so many times already!

Thanks for sharing about your vaccination experience. If I feel any pain/soreness, I will likely take your advice about the Tylenol. And yes, it's definitely many times better than getting (and possibly spreading) covid. I will look at August 4 (date of my second booster) as an almost Independence Day, of sorts. My husband already booked a trip for us to the mountains in Slovakia in early September. Hubby gave me (us) the trip for my 50th birthday. My sister-in-law and nephew also bought us tickets to museums in Vienna. Perhaps we'll get there a little later.

I so look forward to when the masks can be finally ditched, completely. I know how important they are, but this pandemic has gone on far too long. I swear the masks make me sweat more than I would without them. It's like wearing a sauna over your face. That and I'm sick of steaming glasses...or the opposite, walking around without them, blindly.

Here they are trying to get people to sign up for vaccinations. You now get $10 incentives from most stores if you sign up for a vaccine. Most people go maskless already. Mostly I see the elderly still wearing the masks. As I’ve had both shots I’m free to be maskless for most places and yeah, it’s wonderful! At PT I have to still wear a mask and it’s awful with the steam clouding up my glasses. And so hot!

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Originally Posted by Innerzone Had to skip a bunch of pages. Way far behind. Things are going alright, except the weather. Too freaking hot. High 90's yesterday. This weekend? Triple digits, including what will likely be the highest recorded temperature here EVER. Anyone who denies climate change has their head in the sand. We in the west are LIVING IT. I dread the wildfires. They have become surreal. Last summer we had the worst air quality IN THE WORLD. Trust me, that level is VERY, VERY bad. When the air is cool, I literally savor it. Shout out to Beth. You have my complete empathy. Here's to making it through alright.

Thank you, Innerzone. "Surreal" is the perfect description of the wildfires and climate change is, as you have said, evident here on the west coast. I hope and pray for a season without any wildfires.

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour ...Both Hubby and I were sweating. Of course there was no air conditioning! I swear that Hubby and I sweat more than the other people we see. I truly think our medications play a part. I didn't used to sweat so easily and much when I was younger. I'm guessing the Seroquel XR? ...

Yes, many psych meds cause people to sweat and overheat more easily. My pdoc has warned me several times to avoid extreme heat.

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Originally Posted by Sapien Struggling so much right now.

So it sounds like Vraylar isn't doing much for you. What's the next step?

Probably increase the dose. Therapeutic dose is 3-6mg and I'm on 1.5mg, but I'm not struggling anymore I feel like a God, not THE God but a god. Probably not good either, but better.

And you’re in California! How you supposed to avoid the heat?

I put a call into the doctor this morning and a nurse called me back. I talked to her and she talked to the doctor. She just called back to say my refills are coming. The pharmacy should be calling me to let me know when I can pick it up. Yahoo 😁 I think I’m going to wean myself off so I’m not at the mercy of 🥼 doctors

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Originally Posted by Nammu And you’re in California! How you supposed to avoid the heat?

We have a break yesterday and today...mid-80's. But the extreme heat will return starting tomorrow. A/C at home and in car, plus several fans around my apartment. Lots of ice water. These temperatures are typical for summer where I live. But even the 90's are more tolerable than the plus-100's.

My pain is basically gone. The vertigo is still there but I think I need to eat more. I called my therapy practice. They said the one that my old T referred me to isn’t taking any new clients. So I looked online and asked about a couple others. One could only fit me in once a month. Then the next one could see me on July 4th and then every week. But she doesn’t take my insurance so I’d be paying $100 a session. I set up the appointment anyways and if I like her then I’ll see what I can cut out or see her every other week or something. But I never heard back from my old T, or the one Pdoc tried contacting.

Then immediately after I got off the phone with them my insurance called. My old insurance was cancelled so my mom set up a new plan. But it’s an HMO which means you can only see specific doctors on a list. Not every primary doctor will prescribe my injections and I want a trans friendly one. I’m just gonna not get sick (like it’s in my control) so I can avoid them. But I liked my old doctor despite the fact he often looked at me like I had 2 heads. I feel like HMO insurances suck and so do the doctors

But I plan on paying out of pocket for my Pdoc. I only see him every 3 months so $300 a session isn’t that big of a deal. I mean it is, but I can’t risk losing any of my meds because some random doctor doesn’t like them even if they work for me.

So I’m just kinda stressed today with the whole insurance and therapy thing. Plus my weird bleeding came back last night and I’m going to have to find a second doctor who’s trans friendly who can help me out and who’s on their stupid list. This feels like being on Medicaid even though it’s Medicare.

I hope my mom is regretting this move because it really doesn’t seem like it’s working out much. Losing my doctors was the one reason I didn’t want to move and for awhile it looked like I could keep seeing them.

My PMDD is the worst it’s been in a year so maybe I’ll be calmer in 5 days and I’ll be able to think more clearly and have a better positive outlook on things.

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Originally Posted by Nammu I put a call into the doctor this morning and a nurse called me back. I talked to her and she talked to the doctor. She just called back to say my refills are coming. The pharmacy should be calling me to let me know when I can pick it up. Yahoo 😁 I think I’m going to wean myself off so I’m not at the mercy of 🥼 doctors

I understand that feeling (being at the mercy of doctors).

I got my refill for my meds with a few days to spare. That's a relief.

My pdoc is setting up a referral to the ketamine clinic - it's in a hospital downtown.

I'm pretty numbed out from the higher AP dose, which I prefer over the anxiety/panic I've been having. There's still some break-through anxiety at times, though. I'm hoping that, as the higher dose reaches a blood level, I will have even less anxiety.


I'm hoping to be moving to a more updated version of the apartment I live in. I love my apartment, but I'd sure like to move into one with a new floor, new refrigerator, and a clean carpet in the bedroom. The cost would be $100 higher than what I pay; still, it's very low rent for this location in this state. (I pay $895 now). I've put the word out to the manager, so hopefully he'll approve the move.

He's new, so I hope he knows how to handle a move like the one I want to do. Lately, I feel like I need to start fresh.

I hate that feeling!
bizi

Beth rags I’m glad your meds are working for you.

Under 900 is a good price for an apartment! I’m in a small town and rent is higher than that here!