[wildflowerchild25]

So I haven’t “confronted” my mom yet but I’m going to extend an olive branch and ask her to come look at the dresses and help me choose between them. If I’m brave enough I will ask her why she ignored my text and just take what she says at face value. If she says she forgot then I’ll just take that answer no matter whether I believe it to be true or not. I’m coming to a place of acceptance. My outrage was for how she treats my brother and how she occasionally treats me. But honestly I shouldn’t feel angry, I am just really sad for her. It’s obvious she’s never been happy in all her life. I think she was happy with my dad to a certain extent but then he died and any happiness she had died with him. She’s said a couple of times that she does not want to be saved should a life threatening event like a heart attack or stroke occur. She said we can be happy for her then because she will be rejoicing in heaven walking with Jesus. It’s just a sad way to go through life. My life was headed that way, I had passive SI for years, even when I was married to my first husband. Even though I’m going through hell right now I don’t want to die, not really. It’s just sad that she will never find that joy or happiness. I can’t really be angry with her for that.

I went back and forth today with anxiety. Around 1:30 I was planning on going to the gym but I was so anxious again I began to feel physically ill. I decided to head it off at the pass, take Xanax, and then go to the gym. I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried the elliptical machine. Holy. Hell. I’m super out of shape for that one! I can bike for 30-45 minutes no problem but I could only make it 15 minutes on the elliptical before I felt like I was going to collapse! I’m going to be so sore tomorrow! I felt like an idiot did just leaving at that point, I wanted to do strength training but I’m too nervous to try the machines yet. The only way I convinced myself to try the elliptical was by telling myself over and over that no one was looking at me, they didn’t know my fitness level, they wouldn’t even blink in my direction. And I was right! I’m going to try the same thing on at least one of the machines. I’ve found upper body workouts with dumbbells on YouTube but most of them contain a lot of exercises I cannot do because of my back problems.

I ordered a sunrise simulator clock that has nature sound alarms. The clanging of the iPhone alarms are making me so angry! They jolt me awake and I just immediately silence it. Not a pleasant way to wake up. I hope the nature sounds will be better.

[Victoria'smom]

Well, I helped M with the application to the dorms. Now we wait for his application to be procced and then he picks his room. That means I have 3 days left with him before I leave on my trip. When I get back he should be all moved out. He has no car and our car is on it's last leg but hopefully we'll see him every two weeks or so. At least until the car dies. I know he made the right decision because he has obligations to the campus and he wants to see what campus life is like. It just sucks I'm catastaphising. It's only 16 weeks and If need be he can take the bus back. This is tough I think for all of us.

[bizi]

I just wanted to say hi!
hope all is well in your part of the universe!
bizi

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by BethRags

So my cat has been diagnosed with diabetes. Tomorrow I'm to take her to the vet and learn how to give her injections twice a day. She is a great cat, very trusting, sweet, and loyal. And funny. I'm so nervous about giving the injections. The monthly cost for insulin is cruel. As usual, my husband flipped out on me when I explained the situation to him. There's never a word of support or empathy that comes out of his mouth. It's just yelling at me. I was feeling pretty strong about all of this - until he tore me down. Now I just want to crawl into bed.

My therapist is pressuring me to get a job. I don't know where she's coming up with that one. For one thing, my husband and I have had an online business for 12 years and I work at that. We actually get along best when we're working together. I was at my last job for 13 years. I'm exhausted from working since I was 14 years old. Plus, I'm on disability and don't want to lose it.

I'm by myself now (with my 5 cats); I'm going to work on regaining the optimism I felt this morning. I resent being stomped on by people who should be supportive.

Popsicles all around - in your favorite flavor!

I'm so sorry about your fur baby Beth

How horrible, your h flipping out, with no support or empathy

I hate it that your T is pressuring you to get a job. That sounds incredibly unhelpful. I have also had T's pressuring me to get a job, and a job that would be completely wrong for me. Why?

I understand about resenting being stomped on by people who should be supportive. You sometimes put into words what I am thinking

Maybe an orange popsicle (they have them in orange, right?)

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by bizi

I just wanted to say hi!
hope all is well in your part of the universe!
bizi

It's great to see you Bizi

Hugs and love

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Well my junky trashed lungs over the last almost 3 week finally said ENOUGH yesterday. This smoke from Canada wild fires were the icing on the cake.

I called my Doctor and went right in yesterday. So Steroid shot, 20mg Pred for 10 days and Antibiotics since both ear drums are bulging, again. They rupture so often if I am sick.

So prednisone on me with very unstable Bipolar

But hey a girls gotta breath

It's our 16th wedding Anniversary today so we are going out for dinner. I am so lucky to have him.

Hope everyone is having a nice day

(((((((((( Christina ))))))))))

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

So happy that you found a Pdoc that is a good fit ! that is HUGE. Hopefully your GP will get better about calling with lab results..

I took Halcion in my 20's for about 5 years. That med typically for most everyone is take it and 20-30 you will be asleep whether your ready or not. It is a Hypnotic type med so there is issues with getting up and doing all sorts of things and having no idea, I painted 2 rooms in my house one night no idea until I woke up and it was a different color. I also did lots of middle of the night cooking. So you need to be careful.

I took it again about 6 years ago. It does work. I never got a hangover feeling any time I have taken it.

I feel in short term use its fine at the lowest dose possible.

Thanks for sharing your experience with Halcion, Christina. The memory issue sounds disconcerting, but yes, I would only want to take a very low dose.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Well my junky trashed lungs over the last almost 3 week finally said ENOUGH yesterday. This smoke from Canada wild fires were the icing on the cake.

I called my Doctor and went right in yesterday. So Steroid shot, 20mg Pred for 10 days and Antibiotics since both ear drums are bulging, again. They rupture so often if I am sick.

So prednisone on me with very unstable Bipolar

But hey a girls gotta breath

It's our 16th wedding Anniversary today so we are going out for dinner. I am so lucky to have him.

Hope everyone is having a nice day

Happy Anniversary, Christina! From all I have read you post about your hubby, he was and still is a great choice.

I hope your breathing improves soon.

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Well my junky trashed lungs over the last almost 3 week finally said ENOUGH yesterday. This smoke from Canada wild fires were the icing on the cake.

I called my Doctor and went right in yesterday. So Steroid shot, 20mg Pred for 10 days and Antibiotics since both ear drums are bulging, again. They rupture so often if I am sick.

So prednisone on me with very unstable Bipolar

But hey a girls gotta breath

It's our 16th wedding Anniversary today so we are going out for dinner. I am so lucky to have him.

Hope everyone is having a nice day

I’m so sorry the smoke is causing problems for you. I hope the meds help and that the prednisone doesn’t cause any ill effects. Feel better soon and Happy Anniversary!

[Lizzie1813]

I slept 10 hours last night. I haven’t slept that much in months. I have a strange-feeling headache, or at least the beginnings of one…probably too much sleep. My neighbors moved out a few weeks ago. (I live in a small, one bedroom apartment.) I was outside this morning watering my geraniums and peppers and saw a man outside the apartment. I asked him if he was moving in. He said he was just cleaning. Wondering if I’ll get new neighbors soon. I hope they’ll be nice. How’s everyone doing? I hope y’all have a good day.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Well my junky trashed lungs over the last almost 3 week finally said ENOUGH yesterday. This smoke from Canada wild fires were the icing on the cake.

I called my Doctor and went right in yesterday. So Steroid shot, 20mg Pred for 10 days and Antibiotics since both ear drums are bulging, again. They rupture so often if I am sick.

So prednisone on me with very unstable Bipolar

But hey a girls gotta breath

It's our 16th wedding Anniversary today so we are going out for dinner. I am so lucky to have him.

Hope everyone is having a nice day

Happy Anniversary!!

Sorry to hear about your breathing situation. Yeah, that smoke can be awful. Even when you *don't* have lung issues. Ugh. Best of luck with the prednisone.

[Soupe du jour]

I felt mostly well this morning, save some sore legs and butt from the gardening the day before. Hubby was kind enough to go with me to an Asian grocery store downtown. Unfortunately, it was a bit of a disappointment. The place was small, and the supply of Chinese groceries was limited, save the really general stuff. Czech Republic's small Asian minority population are more from Southeast Asia, particularly Vietnam. They had a number of Korean products, too. Of the things I wanted, there were Korean versions only, and all had garlic in them, which Hubby is allergic to. I'm much more of a Sinophile, I confess, having lived and traveled in China (or Taiwan), in the past.

We went to a big mall afterwards. They had a food court, which had one option with sort of Chinese-like dishes. I didn't know it when I ordered it, but my dish was super spicy hot. Hubby tried it and could barely eat it. I, on the other hand, really love spicy food. However, my recently sensitive stomach didn't like it at all. Alka-Seltzer called out to me, yet again.

[Mountaindewed]

My endocrinologist called me. He doesn’t have an appointment until the middle of September. Which isn’t a big deal. My new primary said he can prescribe them if I run out before I can get into to see the doctor.

I’m not gonna lie I’m a bit nervous about having another surgery. I haven’t gotten a call back as to when it will be set up but I’m hoping it will be today. Last night I had pain again. And it’s tough to tell my mom about it because then I’d have to tell her how it’s happening and that’s why I wanted to go into my gynecologist alone. Basically as my primary called it it happens after I “stimulate” myself and that’s how the bleeding happens too. The bleeding and pain is how I’m getting my insurance to cover it. So I guess it’s kind of good? That I had pain last night. But my therapist was kinda asking me about it and telling me how you have to use the bathroom after and just to keep up with my hygiene. I mean, I’m 28 years old I don’t think I need to be told this kind of stuff. Sometimes I feel like I get treated like I’m young and clueless because of my autism. People are super nice to me all the time but when they hear I’m autistic they kinda talk down to me in this overly friendly tone like I’m a kid. Looking like I’m 18 and having my mom with me doesn’t help either I guess. But it looks like going back to work isn’t going to happen for the foreseeable future. I had planned on going back in August. But then the surgery is happening and I can’t start a job and then immediately leave for 6 weeks. The type of job I do is all physical. So it’s going to have to be after the surgery which hasn’t been scheduled yet as I said. I want to work and I should be working but it’s ok for me not to be at this moment.

I went to Dicks Sporting Goods this morning to look at their shirts. I wear a boys XL in shirts because men’s are too big. Unless it’s like from Hollister which sells guys clothes instead of mens. It’s kinda awkward to shop that department in person. Especially when I don’t know the store well and I have to ask. But I got 3 North Face shirts. All said XL. I looked at the men’s section and the colors were so much better. But I held up a small and it was huge and very long. So I got home and I tried on two of the shirts. They were huge on me and fit really weirdly. I then realized they were women's XL. Which is super embarrassing. The actual boys XL fit. I thought the cashier was being a bit weird when I was asking him questions about the shirts.

[Scooter9]

I'm ready for my trip which starts tomorrow!

The covid restrictions complicate things quite a bit. You have to apply to enter each province and prove identity, vaccination status, and show where you're coming from, going to, how long you'll stay etc. It's almost like traveling to another country! It'll be interesting to see how the border crossings work.

We're taking a 30 foot RV onto two different ferries - I'm looking forward to driving into the ships.

We're going to see some iconic places like the Cabot Trail, Peggys Cove, etc.

I know I won't get my 8 hours sleep during the trip. I hope things stay stable.

I'm sensitive to changes in water and I often have stomach issues wherever I travel, even if it's just a couple of hours away from home. Bottled water helps but getting exposed to local water is inevitable when eating at restaurants (salad, ice cubes, etc)

[Mountaindewed]

I forgot I need to get my shot today. Usually my moods are really sucky and I get roid rage right before I get it the way I did last week. But I’ve been pretty calm all day. Also I’m supposed to be dealing with my PMDD but except for some stomach pain I haven’t had any real issue at all. There’s been a couple bad hours at a time but not the severe S SH thought type I had been getting.

I’m also finally used to taking all my meds at night. It was rough adjusting to it but now it’s fine.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

I'm ready for my trip which starts tomorrow!

The covid restrictions complicate things quite a bit. You have to apply to enter each province and prove identity, vaccination status, and show where you're coming from, going to, how long you'll stay etc. It's almost like traveling to another country! It'll be interesting to see how the border crossings work.

We're taking a 30 foot RV onto two different ferries - I'm looking forward to driving into the ships.

We're going to see some iconic places like the Cabot Trail, Peggys Cove, etc.

I know I won't get my 8 hours sleep during the trip. I hope things stay stable.

I'm sensitive to changes in water and I often have stomach issues wherever I travel, even if it's just a couple of hours away from home. Bottled water helps but getting exposed to local water is inevitable when eating at restaurants (salad, ice cubes, etc)

Have a lovely trip! I've been along the Cabot Trail and to Peggy's Cove once, too. If you like them, scallops are a real treat there. You can also find a delicious seafood chowder, which is similar to New England clam chowder, but with various seafood (including scallops). I confess I ate so many scallops that I started to get a reaction on my face, that included little blisters. But that was just me, and I truly ate a mess load of scallops. Normally I'm just fine eating them.

If you go out on the sea, I hope you spot an Atlantic puffin. They're adorable!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Have a great trip Scooter!

[Victoria'smom]

Moose 72 please go to the psych er.

[Guiness187055]

I agree Moose go to the ER

[Victoria'smom]

I'm so glad you called moose76.

[Mountaindewed]

I am about to lose my mind trying to figure out this trigger thing. I can never get it right and I’ve looked at the technical thread and I couldn’t find it.

But this is a post about meds that may be sensitive to some people.

Possible trigger:

I don’t want to trigger anyone. I’m not S but I did take a Valium and 2 melatonin at one time. I haven’t taken my 160 mil Geodon yet. I also haven’t gotten my weekly injection yet. I’ve never combined all the meds with my shot before. But I’m just trying to avoid my hunger that often happens the night of my shot. So I’m just trying to switch that to at night too so I can go straight to bed. I think I’ll be ok. I always am. I’m used to all the other meds but I’ve never thrown in the shot as well.

But I guess I’ll just try it. I’ve already taken my melatonin and I’m tired.

I just really want my hunger to be controlled. I wish I could get a clear answer from professionals if this is ED behavior or what. But I guess I won’t know for sure until September.

I still think my therapist is copping out a bit because of the trans thing.

[Moose72]

(trigger)text here(/trigger) but replace the "(" and ")" with "[" and "]". Leave out the quotation marks when you write the code.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Moose72

(trigger)text here(/trigger) but replace the "(" and ")" with "[" and "]". Leave out the quotation marks when you write the code.

Ok. thanks for the help. Man does adding that feel like folding towels at work. I can never get it done correctly.

[Sunflower123]

Brother had pneumonia and hypoglycemia. Mother is feeling better now that she has seen a back specialist and received a custom brace.

I’ve been so wiped out today I’ve been a total couch potato. Tomorrow I’m headed to the pool at 8:30 and staying all day then Sunday visiting my daughter and seeing a movie with her. It’s going to be a great, much needed weekend.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Oh that sucks so bad. We have smoke here too, and I’m keeping mum inside. Mum was at the doctor yesterday and they were afraid she had an infected temple nerve and would need steroids. Last time she was on steroids she shook so badly and didn’t sleep. Steroids are magic meds but ask a high price. I’ll be thinking of you and sending soothing healing rays your way.

Thank so much Nammu

Oh yes I am so glad that Mum is ok and doesnt need Steroids, Yes they are so needed at times but the side effects are horrible !