Bipolar check-in #59

I bought an expensive phone a month ago and i've had anxiety about how much it was and anger about how incompetent and disrespectful the salesman was. I got my first bill yesterday and went into the company's customer chat service and got a $50 activation fee waived with ease.

I was really pleased as i so dislike dealing with customer service on the phone, it's so triggering of my anger. So today i though to myself, why not try and get some compensation for the original unsatisfactory sales transaction thru the customer chat service that i used with such ease and success yesterday?

Unfortunately after dealing with two agents via chat without satisfaction, they wanted to talk by phone. I reluctantly agreed and it went just as i feared, i got angry having to repeat myself over the phone and relive the whole unpleasant incident again and i got all stirred-up.

I hate to put out negative energy via phone as i feel it always comes back to haunt you. It's so much easier on the keyboard. But i negotiated $200 worth of compensation. It's for the best because there's only four more months in the savings year for my retirement fund and i've got to get serious.

But i still feel bad, just in a different way. Instead of feeling anxiety and anger like i did prior to the compensation, now i feel anxiety for being so negative. I guess either way i wasn't going to win feelings-wise and at least this way i'm a total of $250 richer.

I hate to think i'm a "Karen" but for a $2250 deal (for the phone and two years of service [Canadian]) i expect some professionalism. I wasn't the only one complaining. I dealt with three agents before i got to a manager with some decent discretionary negotiating power and it took him 3.5 hours to call me, there were so many people ahead of me in line with issues.

If i had known i would have had to end up doing the deal via phone with customer service i probably wouldn't have bothered. I had just anticipated settling it via chat and that would have been fine but i guess the chat agents don't have much discretionary negotiating power.

It seems like The Wild West getting phones and service for them.

Having an emotional disability is really an obstacle in negotiating expensive deals. Does anyone else get triggered by spending large sums of money or dealing with customer service by phone instead of chat?

My foot started acting up again today. Tingling/pain/weakness is back. Now where did I put that brace??? I'm so freaking tired... I was desperate for sleep so last night I had 2.5 shots of zzzquil. It worked; I slept from around midnight to 6am which would be great if I actually liked sleep but I don't now that I have nightmares most nights.

I wish I had some good news to share... oh! I got the good thorazine today, the brown pills seem more side effect friendly than the white ones.

Back in the day the thought was that if Deaf people signed they wouldn’t fit in with the “normals” for a while deaf schools forbade signing. But now days it’s total communication. My last doctor did something to my records and I no longer have to ask for interpreters they are automatically given to me. I was born in the 50’s so that was a long time ago and fortunately I was born hearing so I got my language in before losing my hearing at 3 1/2 when I had the measles.

My friend gave me a LOT of clothes! I tried them on. It took about half an hour to try them all on. They fit- but there were some that were too big or just not attractive on me so I made a pile to donate to Salvation Army. I kept about 70% of them though. She is a lot taller than I am but most of them still work. It's funny: she kept bringing up these clothes and I wasn't that interested but now I'm so happy that she gave them to me.

Try drinking a glass of water every couple hours. I feel you may be dehydrated

Covid is quickly rising again in Europe, surely because people started traveling a lot again and not wearing masks as much. Not to mention the people who've refused vaccinations. And of course even vaccinated people are getting and spreading covid more and more. Third boosters are being given to the elderly in Czech Republic, but not yet to younger people. Several European countries are reenacting a level of border control. We read that France is starting to as of November 1st. Some others (not all) will start some level of border control starting November 15. We'll surely be able to travel within Europe, but will likely need to show proof of vaccination at some borders, at the least. Perhaps even negative covid test results, despite us having our two shots as of four months ago. It's clear how lax some people have been with masks. We're supposed to all be wearing masks in public places, but I've seen people not and getting away with it. My sister said the entire 4th grade class of students in the elementary school near her (in New Jersey) are home because most tested positive for covid. Three of the teachers, too, who were supposedly vaccinated. Yes, kids get covid. They spread it, too.

Tomorrow we leave for a two day visit with one of Hubby's friends (within country) that we haven't seen in years. I am looking forward to that. He and his wife are lovely people! Then we have nothing on our calendars other than the holidays, for now.

We finally have supplies of all of our medications. Hubby called the gp yesterday...again.

I saw my new therapist yesterday. She’s a psychologist ( a first for me). She seems very kind and the interaction went well. We basically did an intake and she was clear about a game plan forward. She’s pretty transparent and available to me – she is supposed to send me an email (it was supposed to be right after the session, but she was gonna look into some things for me first) so I can reach her if needed. Our plan for the next session is to do some psychological testing (she said to look at severity of symptoms). We agreed to get to know each other and unpack some of the major parts of my need of therapy, we can meet every week until we decide less frequent sessions would suffice. I appreciated that from her. I explained my limited connection with my last therapist and she answered my questions I had about treatment style, approach to therapy etc. She said something I thought was kind of interesting. She gave a rowboat scenario – some therapist row the boat to facilitate your journey (a more therapist-focused approach to guiding your journey) and others let you row with some guidance (a more patient-focused approach that allows you to come to your own conclusion of how to proceed) which neither are necessarily wrong, she agrees with a more 50-50 approach, the therapist and patient row in unison to work towards a goal. What that translates into is that my input in how to proceed, what is important, what to focus on, and how to approach things are weighted equally to her professional opinion. I’m actively participating in the process, not just doing measures asked of me. I think I will benefit a lot from having this type of dynamic.

Psychological testing is a bit scary of a term, but seeing as she is trained to administer and interpret results, I think it’s a good starting point. I have some hope that she will be able to help me. Her modality and specialization is something I think I can really benefit from.

I got my “official” diagnoses listed to me which I was happy to know formally. A lot of of things have been thrown around as possibilities but at least on paper I know what I’m dealing with. Labels aren’t everything but it’s nice to at least feel validated in I’m not alone in what I experience albeit everyone’s experience is different. Not to get on a soap box, but I also think it’s important to realize criteria are guidelines, and do not exclude other behaviors simply because they are not listed. i.e. if anger issues arise, it does not mean you have [insert disorder here] or because it’s not explicitly listed, and you don’t have that issue or that it excludes the diagnosis of [insert disorder here] – it could be independent, part of, or a manifestation of a more prominent[typical] symptom. I definitely take the approach it’s not fair to tell someone what I think they have or don’t have based on how I experience the issue. It’s not fair to anyone [off my soapbox].

Next week is a busy one for me, Nov 1st, 2nd, and 3rd I have appointments. Psychiatrist, therapist and then PCP. I hope all goes well. Nov 1st is a hard day for me, it’ll mark 15 years since my brother passed away.

In other news, I’m ready for November and Thanksgiving is my all time favorite holiday. Sincerely can not wait!

I’m doing ok today. I slept decently last night. I was up for a bit around 1. I took a melatonin and my topamax. I ate a bran muffin and I had a protein shake. Today I did some international grocery shopping. My anxiety was ok. I found beer flavored Lays chips from China and I got some purple sweet potato’s. I also got some Indian flavors of Lays chips and some Indian cola. I went to my local grocery store too and stocked up on sugar free stuff drinks and jello. I still haven’t found the Christmas Mountain Dew but I got some sugar cookie sleigh ride tea. My anxiety is ok I took my first Xanax right before I left my house to do my shopping. So my anxiety was ok while I was out. I’m drinking a 64oz bottle of green tea and I thought I heard you shouldn’t drink green tea with meds. I don’t know but when has possible med interactions ever stopped me before. I’ll probably quickly chug it and then go eat a snack or something. It’s the day before I get my weekly shot so I have a bit of low energy right now. But it’s not bad. I haven’t really been giving therapy much of a thought although I have acknowledged the age thing with my mom today who doesn’t think it’s much of a deal.

I’m on the fence but I’m thinking a therapist my age is what I need. Older therapists creep me out. Therapists who are 10-15 years older cause romantic transference. But this I think is a good fit for me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013 ... Having an emotional disability is really an obstacle in negotiating expensive deals. Does anyone else get triggered by spending large sums of money or dealing with customer service by phone instead of chat?

I long for the days when customer service humans answered phone calls. Those robots are not only annoying, but they waste time.

With regard to spending, I truly don't have the $ to over-spend. It's just not there. If I had the money I'd probably over-spend a little bit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I’m doing ok today. I slept decently last night. I was up for a bit around 1. I took a melatonin and my topamax. I ate a bran muffin and I had a protein shake. Today I did some international grocery shopping. My anxiety was ok. I found beer flavored Lays chips from China and I got some purple sweet potato’s. I also got some Indian flavors of Lays chips and some Indian cola. I went to my local grocery store too and stocked up on sugar free stuff drinks and jello. I still haven’t found the Christmas Mountain Dew but I got some sugar cookie sleigh ride tea. My anxiety is ok I took my first Xanax right before I left my house to do my shopping. So my anxiety was ok while I was out. I’m drinking a 64oz bottle of green tea and I thought I heard you shouldn’t drink green tea with meds. I don’t know but when has possible med interactions ever stopped me before. I’ll probably quickly chug it and then go eat a snack or something. It’s the day before I get my weekly shot so I have a bit of low energy right now. But it’s not bad. I haven’t really been giving therapy much of a thought although I have acknowledged the age thing with my mom today who doesn’t think it’s much of a deal. I’m on the fence but I’m thinking a therapist my age is what I need. Older therapists creep me out. Therapists who are 10-15 years older cause romantic transference. But this I think is a good fit for me.

What is it about older T's that creeps you out?

OMG, if this anxiety doesn't stop, UGH. The new pdoc did prescribe Zyprexa prn. She prescribed prn because I'm trying to avoid the weight gain (and medical problems that arise from weight gain) I had from Seroquel. I feel like I have a hamster on a wheel inside my stomach and chest. I did take the first Zyprexa yesterday; it did help the anxiety, but I felt heavily sedated, even though the dose is small. I might break the pills in half for the first few doses and allow my body to adapt to the intense reaction.

I had a decent appointment with the new pdoc. I could tell she was trying really hard to improve our relationship - and I was trying really hard, too. I think we both felt better after the session. Grateful.

I slept most of the day. It's so frustrating. Without thorazine I don't sleep more than 1-2 hours a night, with it, I sleep wayyyy too much.

Anyway, I had an appointment with my primary care doctor today. We discussed how the famotidine is not helping my acid reflux so he's prescribing 40mg of Omeprazole delayed release. He said it's a more potent acid reducer so I'm hopeful that it's more helpful

My sister is supposed to be coming over Saturday to help me put my new coffee table together because I can't figure it out. Will be nice to have a coffee table finally. Will make me more inclined to sit on the couch in the living room and be out of my bedroom more often.

Sunday I'm going to my friend's house and we're going to watch a bunch of horror movies for Halloween.

I'm trying to find out about scheduling a 3rd covid shot (booster shot), since I guess you're eligible according to the CDC if you have a mental health condition. And I got my 2nd shot back in March. So hopefully I can get that soon.

Hope everyone is doing okay

Sorry for my delay responding .. I hope that the weather has improved and you weren't in need of the generator.

I was only on Invega orally. I was considering the shot just for convience. I had no side effects with it. I hope it offers you help very soon

The youth of today has No clue

Oh I am going live through you on this ! Sounds like so much fun

I'm just going to say find a way to do a membership.. What a wonderful way to get out of the house and enjoy yourself..

I'm so sorry Beth I am glad they the Zyprexa has helped, The " sedation" will sort it's self out and it will just help you to with anxiety. I would probably do half dose too.

Thats surprising that the Pdoc is working to be more helpful.. I wonder if people complained enough for her to act better??? Regardless I am not it wasn't and absolute negative finally..

I just got home from appointment 5 of 7. I have 2 back to back for brother tomorrow. It wears a body out especially when walkers and wheelchairs are involved. I’m going to reschedule next week’s appointments to space things out a little bit better. Right now, I’m going to take a nap.

I went to the dentist office for a cleaning today and everyone was dressed up as Disney villains. They did it up right. Everyone looked great. I lucked out with this group. Outstanding service and fun to boot.

My therapist texted me a super supportive text so we’re back on good terms (I think) but I’m forewarned now. Any further treatment like that and I’ll drop her without hesitation. She wasn’t 100% wrong but she did cross the line in translation.

I hope everybody has a peaceful evening.

Saw my T yesterday and its so unlike me but I spend most of the session in tears.. I always feel like I am a "Burden" and the level of it waxes and wanes depending how I am doing. Right now its huge ! We plan to do some hypnotherapy next session.

I got home yesterday and I don't know fully why I exploded but I sure did. Steve doesnt deserve it. He is always supportive. I had schedule an appointment with my NP while I saw Richard. I see her Monday. The only thing I can imagine being done is increase Geodon.. I have zero side effects right now at 40mg BID. But something needs done about this Anxiety.

Richard told me another client that was taken off Xanax because the facilty wants everyone off Xanax started taking the suppliment Ashwaganda and its been a huge help for her. So Hell I'll try it ! I literally would try snail soup at this point if it could help.

Its rainy grey snotty day today my PsA and Fibro is freaking screaming to hell and back.

Hugs to anyone in need

Whoops... I accidentally left my Nexplanon in for four years instead of three. But on the bright side I got a hold of my gynecologists office finally and have an appointment scheduled.

I’m still wicked tired. The ED is really bad these days although at peast I’m not hypomanic anymore.

So happy to know you and your T are back on solid ground..

I'm glad your working to space medical appts out so you not running yourself ragged !! Good Self care

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina The youth of today has No clue

Well, it was so funny (the dimes on a date) because nobody ever said anything about the girls "getting fresh."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 I just got home from appointment 5 of 7. I have 2 back to back for brother tomorrow. It wears a body out especially when walkers and wheelchairs are involved. I’m going to reschedule next week’s appointments to space things out a little bit better. Right now, I’m going to take a nap. I went to the dentist office for a cleaning today and everyone was dressed up as Disney villains. They did it up right. Everyone looked great. I lucked out with this group. Outstanding service and fun to boot. My therapist texted me a super supportive text so we’re back on good terms (I think) but I’m forewarned now. Any further treatment like that and I’ll drop her without hesitation. She wasn’t 100% wrong but she did cross the line in translation. I hope everybody has a peaceful evening.

The dental office sounds really nice and considerate. I can't recall what your T did...?

Trying snail soup, maybe licking toads 🐸? A sweat lodge? I’ve seriously contemplated medicine men when I lived in New Mexico and was very unwell.