Bipolar check-in #59

Why don't you want to take Norco? It's a pretty mild (relatively) pain med. You won't get addicted if you follow the instructions; you won't be on it that long. I've found that it is actually good for increasing my mood when I've been on it post-op. I've joked with my pdoc that I want to be on it all the time.

They wouldn't have sent you home with it without knowing you need it. If they didn't think you needed it you would have been sent home with orders for tylenol.

Honestly at this point after my hysterectomy I was still in the hospital on a morphine PCA pump (I had complications after a prior surgery and they were making sure the problems didn't repeat and also they gave me better pain control than my prior surgery) I was in the hospital 3 days. I was on Norco at home for a while, longer than I expected. I couldn't take ibuproferon and tylenol didn't help much for a while. My doctor was fine with it and said it takes different time for everyone..

Really, get comfortable. Valium is only going to help with anxiety and muscle spasms. Your body may want some valium but it's still ok to take Norco.

It’s just the addiction side of things and the combination of my Valium I’m also prescribed. Also I find Tylenol and advil to be more helpful for my pain anyways. Although advil would be pretty bad to take right now. But yeah I know what you mean about the mood booster. I get super happy for an hour or so after I take it if I don’t fall asleep right away and I feel like on top of the world almost and super happy about the dumbest stuff.

I fell asleep about 15 minutes after taking one. I woke up a couple hours later with this terrible pain in my stomach I think is hunger pangs. I have a bottle of body armor with me but I’m going to have some broth and some jello as soon as my mom is able to make it for me.

I’m glad I didn’t have to go to the ER for the cather. The idea freaked me and I just wanted to stay home. But now the flood gates have been open all night with no problem.

My med provider’s office has a new office manager who won’t work with me on making payments. $95 is a chunk of change when you are going every three months but really tough when you’re going every two weeks when you’re not doing well. I was miffed and I told them I couldn’t see my med provider as often. The office manager looked up my insurance and found out that they have a new provider that takes my insurance. My copay is now $25. Yay!!! I meet the new provider on the 12th. I hope that goes smoothly. A miracle and a blessing.

Trying to keep my mood up as I address the burn out. I don’t feel like I have any support here even from my own sister. I feel used and taken advantage of like I’m only accepted and acceptable when I’m caregiving. My mood keeps wanting to dip into depression. I stand alone but I am standing up for myself and voicing what I want and need.

I’m meeting my daughter next weekend halfway for a meal. I’m looking forward to that.

I hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.

Glad your surgery went well MD

I wish you luck with finding a job that fits your needs. I'm also trying to get a part-time job. I'm on SSI so it needs to be under a certain amount of hours/and money as well so I don't lose my benefits either. I applied to a vocational rehabilitation program so I'm hoping to hear from them in the next month.

I hope your nightmares go away

Hi all! I've not kept up at all recently, too much to catch up, sorry to say. But in trying to get my bearings scanning the last couple of pages...

Oh you sweet woman, I am SO sorry how much you are having to deal with, and what is going on for you. Laying here with big pauses.... Feelings, more than words come. Sending them via magic wand with lots and lots of love.

Is it alright if I butt in with my 2 cents? Get the help. Full stop. Your mother needs to understand that you have CLEARLY cared above and beyond for her, and SHE needs to reciprocate by caring for YOU. And the form that takes is allowing you to breathe, (insert preferred exasperated exclamation here, mine is quite salty as they say). This should not be a one way street. I'm not saying she doesn't express care in other ways (I wouldn't really know). But to deny you help is just plain cruel. Yes, cruel. And VERY selfish to boot. She needs to be made to understand this. And if she doesn't, remember, the decision is yours to make, not hers. YOU are the one who needs relief. YOU need to look out for YOU.

Oh ugh the weather. It’s sooooooooo humid. 93% last time I checked. Hopefully it will be better by two. Every time I move I sweat, I hate it. It’s only supposed to get to low or mid 70’s today but the humidity is terrible. I want to look good today not like a damp dishcloth! Oh I know, terrible first world problems. I want the party to go well.

My stomach has been hurting so badly today. I took a narco at 7:30 and a Tylenol about an hour ago. I can take my next narco at 1:30. If I could just use the bathroom a lot or even just pass some gas I think I’d feel major relief. I took some colace. My mom gave me the heating pad. She read through the paperwork and said heat would help. I did eat today. I had a little container of blue raspberry jello and a can of beef broth. My mom went to Starbucks and got me a decaf hot coffee with Splenda, and a green tea lemonade with Splenda. I’ve just been watching reruns of Drag Race all day while getting up every half hour and moving a bit around or using the bathroom or trying to at least.

But man this stomach pain. It feels like my gallbladder or appendix was penetrated. I got about 5 hours of sleep last night. I slept in shifts for a couple hours at a time. But it’s better then nothing. I’m still not feeling depressed or very anxious either. I just wish I could use the bathroom.

I haven’t gotten my weekly injection yet. I should have gotten it yesterday. I probably should get it today since because my ovaries are now gone I’m going to have to be on the shots for the rest of my life. There is no getting off them now. Since I don’t have estrogen in me anymore.So I need to be more consistent with my timing on them.

I just took a 55 minute nap with the heating pad. I fell asleep pretty quickly. These little cat naps are helpful overall. Now I’m going to try to move soreness s a bit more and hopefully my 3rd colace works. Then I can eat some potatos.
But this stomach pain. Fuuuuck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed ...

Congratulations! You're so brave! I'm glad the surgery went well. Let's hope you don't have any post-surgery depression, and that the pain passes quickly

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Oh ugh the weather. It’s sooooooooo humid. 93% last time I checked. Hopefully it will be better by two. Every time I move I sweat, I hate it. It’s only supposed to get to low or mid 70’s today but the humidity is terrible. I want to look good today not like a damp dishcloth! Oh I know, terrible first world problems. I want the party to go well.

We don't have humidity here, but I've been in it several times and it is horrible. The good thing is, if you look like a limp dishcloth, so will everyone else

@Mountaindewed which weekly injection do you get- testosterone? Glad you're eating a bit and that your mom is helping you! What a good mom! Just keep taking your norco on time so that you'll feel better. It will help your "gallbladder" and "appendix" pains too. I'm sure that's just referred pain. A heating pad sounds wonderful!

In my world, I took my first "extra" 5 of Haldol about an hour ago. It seems to be working so far. Yesterday, I had to take a prn 2 mg while I was out. I'm watching Star Trek The Next Generation. It's 76 and sunny here. I should see if I can go out. N3 and I traded cars last night. I didn't want to get up to drive him so I have his jeep. It's a six speed. I drove it from his place to mine last night. I've never driven a car with more than 5 speeds!

Next week, a friend that I haven't seen for several years is coming for a visit! That will be fun.

My mom, her husband, my daughter and her boyfriend and i are going to have tacos tonight. It's my daughter's birthday in a few days.

I’m in severe stomach pain. Like this is the worst pain I’ve ever been in in my life. I keep getting these spasms in my lower stomach and they hurt so badly. I called the hospitals after hour number. A nurse will get back to me. But I assume I’m going to need to go to the ER at least for pain meds if not another surgery. But man I have a high pain tolerance and this is too much for me to handle.

I’ve tried norco, Tylenol, a heating pad some OTC constipation meds and nothing is helping.

I hope you get this figured out soon! I'm glad you called and I hope the nurse calls you back.

Thanks I normally feel the need to pace but right now I feel like I am frozen in place.. either way is terrible in my opinion

Yes. I sometimes feel the need to pace. I did in the hospital last week. That and feeling frozen sounds horrible.

Thank you

The nurse called back. She said if the pain was that severe I’d need to go to the ER. So my mom drove me. I was in so much pain. I got my own room right away. I didn’t have to wait at all. They did a urine and a blood test which were ok. They checked the incision sites a couple of times. Then they gave me pain meds through an IV. The spasms stopped for a bit but then came back. So I asked the doctor for another shot of pain meds. Which he gave me. I never ask for pain meds because I don’t get this type of pain. I felt like I was having contractions even though I’ve never had those of course. But he gave me a prescription for a few doses of a stronger pain med called petrcol. I think generic for ocedoine. He gave my just enough to get through the weekend since that is super strong stuff. He told me it won’t interfere with my meds.

I am home now and I’m very out of it from the pain meds they gave me in he hospital. The spasms aren’t completely gone but I think I’ve only gotten one or 2 mild ones since getting the second pain shot.but I for sure needed to go in for pain meds.

But yeah today was just awful pain wise.

I just threw up a bit. They said I was fine though. Yesterday they told me throwing up once or twice after the surgery was normal. I’m slowly eating a package of Lorna Doone cookies and drinking a bottle of water slowly with my regular night meds.

I’m losing it. I’m so thankful we’re having such a small wedding. I think I’d be a crumpled ball on the floor If it was a big wedding with a traditional reception and drinking and dancing and toasts and cake cuttings and whatnot. I had my grandma call the restaurant for me today and confirm the guests and menu, I just absolutely could not do it without panicking.

It’s because I’m very upset and scared about getting married. It’s not about RS at all. He’s a gem. And I don’t want to leave him. It’s just that once we’re married it’s permanent and will very difficult to extract myself from if things go downhill. Things for me and my first husband took a nosedive straight off a cliff within a few months of being married. Actually it was as soon as my son was born. The incident of abuse took place less then six weeks after he was born and he was such a difficult baby, then my mental health spiraled and my first husband’s behavior became more intimidating and angry toward me (it already had been but I think once we were married he “had me” and subconsciously thought he could say or do whatever). Within a year of getting married I started self harming again and he picked up a drug problem and it just got worse and worse until he died.

I never could have divorced him even if I had ever thought it was an option, he would have been furious and we’d have gone through a bitter and acrimonious process and I’m sure he would have tried to take my son from me permanently.

RS has never shown any sign of being potentially angry or abusive. I’m not worried about having a baby because we are 100% NOT having one. It’s just getting married. I’m not happy at all, not at all. And worse, I’m the one who wanted it in the first place! He did too, of course, but I was the one who suggested we get married sooner. But he was totally on board, I definitely didn’t pressure him into anything. Of course I did not know I would feel this way.

I’m sorry, this post really isn’t bipolar related. On chemical mood management I’m doing well. Haven’t had to use seroquel for sleep in six weeks and it is awesome. I’m able to jump right up at 6:30 without hitting snooze. Not For lack of wanting, I still don’t like getting up early, but it is better now that I’m not drugged to sleep!

I slept most of today so I'll be okay staying up for the night. I'm sleeping in the living room right now. I'm hoping things get better fast. I wish things were easier and the hospital was an actual option but It'd cost is too much.

I took the petrcol. Then I would just about fall asleep until a massive cramp woke me up. This went on for a couple hours. I’m also super drowsy from all the pain meds. I went into the bathroom and dry heaved a few times. My mom suggested I take a Valium to relax since I’ve only taken one today. After that I immediately started passing large amounts of gas so my cramps are going away a bit. I can have another pain pill at 10.

I barely ate anything today. Despite trying. I could only eat 2 cookies and one saltine cracker for dinner. But I stayed hydrated which is the best thing right now.

I have worked on a few things over the past few days. I researched a laundry service that is free pickup and next day delivery for $1 per pound to free up my time and avoid urine soaked clothes. I’ve set up groceries and medication being delivered and I’ve set up a “Care A Van” transportation system to transport my brother to his appointments this month (9 so far). It costs $5 round trip. I’ll send him with a voice activated recorder. I’ll take him to the critical appointments like neurology, kidney and endocrinology but the others are routine.

I’ve listed an ad on Care.com for a housekeeper and for respite caregiving. I plan to take off 10/17-10/24. I’ll leave town if I need to. I’m going to meet with mom and brother today to discuss this. Fingers crossed. They’ll need to understand that I’m quite serious and firm about this. My sister will have to step in. I’m excited about the time off. I’m making all kinds of plans.

Thanks @Innerzone for helping me see I’ll have to make bold moves here. I can’t count on my family to protect me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 I have worked on a few things over the past few days. I researched a laundry service that is free pickup and next day delivery for $1 per pound to free up my time and avoid urine soaked clothes. I’ve set up groceries and medication being delivered and I’ve set up a “Care A Van” transportation system to transport my brother to his appointments this month (9 so far). It costs $5 round trip. I’ll send him with a voice activated recorder. I’ll take him to the critical appointments like neurology, kidney and endocrinology but the others are routine. I’ve listed an ad on Care.com for a housekeeper and for respite caregiving. I plan to take off 10/17-10/24. I’ll leave town if I need to. I’m going to meet with mom and brother today to discuss this. Fingers crossed. They’ll need to understand that I’m quite serious and firm about this. My sister will have to step in. I’m excited about the time off. I’m making all kinds of plans. Thanks @Innerzone for helping me see I’ll have to make bold moves here. I can’t count on my family to protect me.

Good for you! I hope you are immensely proud of yourself for taking steps to ensure your self care.

All quiet on my side of the computer. Just saying hi and giving hugs to all who need or want them

I'm very behind here, but have tried to briefly read through posts.

@~Christina, you are so very appreciated and cared for here, including by me. I'm so sorry that you had to go to the hospital and are still struggling. Is there anything that might be a type of "treat" for you? However simple. I hope Gus and your other "bigger pups" are showing you lots of love.

@buddha1too, I wonder if a little day or weekend trip might be fun for you and your lady. Getting away sometimes helps. Thinking about you...

@Mountaindewed, I'm hoping your pain eases quickly.

@Jennifer 1967, I totally second what BethRags wrote. Your initiatives for both your own health and your mom's and brothers is so admirable.

@wildflowerchild25, I can totally understand your anxiety, but hope your wedding day will wipe the anxieties away. Please don't let the experiences with your ex affect your future with your soon-to-be husband. Have you talked to RS at all about any of your fears?