Bipolar check-in #60

I’m working hard to get everything ready for Christmas. I have all my shopping done. Amazon is great. It would be nice to have it over at my sister’s but her daughter picked up bed bugs whilst traveling and they have a bad case on their hands. Both of their children moved out because of it. They’ve spent over $3,000 and thrown away furniture, mattresses and clothes to fix the problem and it remains. Of course, we can’t afford a transfer so we steer clear. Poor sister. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.

Now that it’s almost Christmas, mom and I are going to put on some Christmas music, open some sangria and decorate the tree tonight. I’m just waiting to digest the delicious homemade egg rolls our neighbor brought over today. Good stuff.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful day.

N2 has a 103 degree fever after her booster!

N3 won't be going with us to Disney. I'm so bummed. Or N1. Two of my 3 children! They couldn't or didn't save.

That sounds nice Jennifer. We did our tree back the first week of December so we could enjoy it. What’s sangria like? Is it a type of wine or more like a sherry?

I have had an extremely boring day. I believe I am slightly hypomanic due to the fact that I woke up at 5:20 - after taking seroquel at 10:30pm - and I’m not tired in the slightest. It is difficult to be in here when I have so much energy. I could be cleaning and organizing. I could be baking cookies. I could even be wrapping presents. But I cannot go out into the common areas until Thursday.

It’s doubly difficult because I don’t know what my mood will be like on Thursday. I could be horribly depressed again. And then I won’t want to bake, make candy, or wrap gifts. The wrapping at the very least MUST be done. It is my least favorite thing to do so if I’m depressed it will be just that much harder. Hopefully I won’t be.

I’ve spent my time watching Christmas movies today. I watched the Santa clause, home alone 2, a Christmas story, the Christmas chronicles, and jingle jangle. I did have enough energy finally to do my laundry that’s been piling up for two weeks. I didn’t want RS to do it, I just feel like this whole room is a biohazard. I can’t wait to wash all the linens and disinfect/air out the room. I opened the window on Friday because it was 60 degrees but it will be back to more seasonal temperatures this week, low to mid forties. I’m not hanging out in a forty degree room.

I ordered grocery delivery for tomorrow again and I made purchases on Amazon that I absolutely did not need for myself. Christmas nail wraps and blue hair dye. I want to dye my hair blue but I’m afraid it will be too bright for work so as a compromise with myself I am going to test it first on two streaks in front. I know that is acceptable.

And then I see 5 minutes of World News and freak the **** out. I wanted to wait for a few days to do a big Sams Club grocery pantry shopping trip until I had nothing left of what I regularly eat. I have about 1-5 things left of each of what I ordered but after tonight I just ordered online since most everything can only be delivered anyways. I just want to be safe.

I do need to get to the regular grocery store in the morning to buy some of my usual non bulk items and I'm hoping people arent panic buying.

My therapy appointment Tuesday morning is still in person as of right now. But I highly expect to get an email by the middle of the day tommorow saying its being switched to remote. She's not the greatest when it comes to reassurance about covid since it scares her as well.

This is a 4th valium night I think.

Can you occupy yourself wrapping gifts in your room?

I'm sorry you are at the bored stage. I had whooping cough a while back and was off work for a while and then spent a week stuck in the office doing online classes. In the middle I had vacation and instead of all the outside stuff I'd planned to do I spent my week inside my cabin sewing, which was fun but something I could have done at home. Then I went back to work and I was so bored and tired of being masked (that was back when masks were not common) and that week at work just made me want to scream. Then I had to stay away from my infant niece even longer because she hadn't been vaccinated so everyone else spent Thanksgiving watching her play and giggle and I spent it in bed.

I hope you get through until Thursday quicklly. H

How is Cheeto?

It's 7 a.m. and I've slept all of two hours. I tried soothing sounds of rain on a tent but through my phone's tiny speaker my brain kept interpreting the sound as bacon frying!

@BeyondtheRainbow
I really should have done that. I told myself this room is too smal as there isn’t any floor space but I could have done it in bed. I might do some today even though of course I am not happy today!

Cheeto is a mess. He’s been throwing up almost every day, and he’s been sneezing. Still has the bald patch. I’m dreading taking him to the vet today. It’s obviously something serious, the question is how serious and how easy to fix. I’ve already decided if it’s cancer I have to put him down. I can’t afford treatment. But if it’s something I do have to put him down for I’m not going to do it today. I need to be there for him and I can’t do that right now since I am in isolation, plus I need time to get used to the idea and say goodbye. I’m only bringing him myself today because my vet is still not allowing owners in the building at all, they come and collect your pet from the car and you wait outside, so I think it’s acceptable.

I hadn’t taken pain med from last night to just now and boy Can I feel it! I forgot to take one early this am. Definitely won’t forget again

I have been alcohol free since Nov 1st. 7 weeks.
I am down to 181.8 (I used to weigh 200.4)so have lost 18 pounds since Oct 4th. in 10 weeks.
yay for me.
bizi
I intermitant fast, no snacking stop all consumption of calories at 7pm
drinking a slimming tonic every morning. and I follow lower carbs and smaller portions. It was those heavy beers that I was drinking. have switched out the non alcoholic beers that I like.
bizi

I took seroquel last night at 11:30 so I didn’t wake up until almost 9am and even then I forced myself because I feel lazy when I wake up past 9. Even though I can’t go help around the house today. I might take a nap because I’m still very tired.

RS is hopefully getting paid from that side job today. He made $2000 so I suppose it was worth it but he said the aggravation and time spent away from us isn’t worth the money. It’s nice though that we’ll be able to pay his vehicle insurance and mortgage without worrying. I was definitely worried because I’m not getting paid a dime this week and maybe even next paycheck in two weeks considering the amount of time I’ve been home. But what can I do, Covid is obviously still a major problem and I’ve been affected. I have a feeling I will continue to be affected as cases are extremely high in my state and only climbing. I think my son will continue to be exposed at school and be quarantined many more times. I plan to get proof every time and turn it into HR so they hopefully won’t fire me over my absences at the end of the year.

I slipped down the basement steps yesterday when I went down to get my laundry and boy am I hurting. I’m not seriously injured, I just hurt where I landed. My knee is very painful but in a way it often is so I’m not sure it’s related. I refuse to go to the dr for my knee, I will just be sent to physical therapy and I don’t have time or money for that. I really just have to start exercising again!

I downloaded a food journal app that lets you track and time stamp meals but doesn’t record calories or carbs. That was upsetting me. I’m trying to figure out if my intestinal issues are food related. So far I am establishing that I MAY have a gluten intolerance. I’ll keep tracking through December and then maybe try to reduce gluten intake in January and see what happens if the pattern continues.

Got hair cut, packing continues for trip, leaving Wednesday. Stressed about being there 10 days. Wish me luck.

I took a 4th valium and a zofran last night. It helped my anxiety and my nausea. I fell asleep at 11 and I woke up at 8. I feel much better anxiety wise then I did last night and I've had 2 sodas, a large iced tea, and a large lemonade mixed with coffee and I've only taken one valium.

I went to my normal international markets to pickup my normal stuff. None of the stores were crowded. I only saw the news breifly about the moderna booster working against the new covid strain.

After I took a shower my mom said she was going to immediate care because her neck was really stiff and she couldnt move it very well and it had been going on for a few days. My mind of course goes 1st to covid. Then to menngitis. She went to immediate care and they said she doesnt have covid or mennngitis but they took an xray and she has arthritis in her neck. So the doctor prescribed a muscle relaxer and an anti inflamotaroy. She sees her primary in January and maybe he can give her something to take reguarly. I'm glad its not covid but I hope it doesnt get out of control. It sucks when your parents get older.

I told her make sure she has nothing to do after she takes them because muscle relaxers work super fast and she will not be able to function. At least I couldnt when I was on it. But my brother has a very important pdoc appointment in an hour and then has to get his booster. Her meds were just ready now and she was ok to drive and stuff. Mainly her neck is just very stiff. She's not in pain.

My zofran is making me hungry but it is nice not to have the type of anxiety stomache I had last night.

Good luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 It's 7 a.m. and I've slept all of two hours. I tried soothing sounds of rain on a tent but through my phone's tiny speaker my brain kept interpreting the sound as bacon frying!

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Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 I took seroquel last night at 11:30 so I didn’t wake up until almost 9am and even then I forced myself because I feel lazy when I wake up past 9. Even though I can’t go help around the house today. I might take a nap because I’m still very tired. RS is hopefully getting paid from that side job today. He made $2000 so I suppose it was worth it but he said the aggravation and time spent away from us isn’t worth the money. It’s nice though that we’ll be able to pay his vehicle insurance and mortgage without worrying. I was definitely worried because I’m not getting paid a dime this week and maybe even next paycheck in two weeks considering the amount of time I’ve been home. But what can I do, Covid is obviously still a major problem and I’ve been affected. I have a feeling I will continue to be affected as cases are extremely high in my state and only climbing. I think my son will continue to be exposed at school and be quarantined many more times. I plan to get proof every time and turn it into HR so they hopefully won’t fire me over my absences at the end of the year. I slipped down the basement steps yesterday when I went down to get my laundry and boy am I hurting. I’m not seriously injured, I just hurt where I landed. My knee is very painful but in a way it often is so I’m not sure it’s related. I refuse to go to the dr for my knee, I will just be sent to physical therapy and I don’t have time or money for that. I really just have to start exercising again! I downloaded a food journal app that lets you track and time stamp meals but doesn’t record calories or carbs. That was upsetting me. I’m trying to figure out if my intestinal issues are food related. So far I am establishing that I MAY have a gluten intolerance. I’ll keep tracking through December and then maybe try to reduce gluten intake in January and see what happens if the pattern continues.

Oooh, falls hurt and can be dangerous. I fell a few days ago - slipped on the bathroom floor and ended up back-down in the tub. Crazy. I'm still sore. Take care of yourself, wfc

I ended up taking my vistril because my heart was beating very fast. Like it was beating so fast I felt like I was going to pass out. I think it was the caffeine I had. So I took my vistril and my non geodon meds and a pepcid half an hour ago and I'm lying down and I feel somewhat better. It was just the coffee lemonade combo and also the iced tea. I havent had too much caffine lately so this was probably just a blow to my system or something.

So far I dont feel like eating my couch because of the vistriel. I had a few candy bars and 2 servings of chicken nuggets for breakfast and then some Goldfish for lunch but I didnt go that insane and I even turned down the chance to go out to lunch because I wasn't very hungry.

Beth, I did that too but I didn’t slip, I tried to put my PJs on standing up and lost my balance! I keep attempting these daring acts I need to just admit I need to sit to put bottoms on.

I’ve been EXTREMELY careful on stairs because I slipped down the basement steps at the old house too! This time I was thinking of what else I could do to pass time in my room after getting my laundry quickly and didn’t think to step down slowly and hold onto the rail. First time I wasn’t vigilant and look what happened! My coordination and balance is just terrible, it always has been. Part of the reason I can’t learn coordinated dances

I just didnt think it was 11.

I drank a sprite and had an orange for dinner. My stomach has been off since I had the candy this morning. European chocolate is super rich. I got a couple bottles of Whelchs alcohol free rose so I can enjoy something while my family has wine. I also have eggnog for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning.

So they didn’t find anything on Cheetos X-ray which the vet said would probably be the case. He has something in his mouth (I forget what he called it) that, while unlikely to cause enough pain to stop eating, indicates a possible problem, in his intestines, either feline IBD or lymphoma. I am going to schedule an ultrasound tomorrow to see if anything turns up. The vet said there could be a mass that can be drained and biopsied. I struggled with how much the ultrasound will cost (around $1000) but he’s lost another 3/10 of a pound in just ten days so I can’t just do nothing and let him wither away. That would be a terrible way to go.

I think IBD can be treated with diet changes, but lymphoma, definitely not. That’s why I have to find out, if it’s cancer the kindest thing is to put him down. I don’t want him to suffer more than he has to.

I got my booster shot at a special event put on by a private doctor in the city. I attended one of her events in the Summer so i was eligible for this one, which is really lucky as others are booking their booster shots into February up here.

The events don't run as smoothly as the city clinics tho. Despite booking appointments there was a 90 minute wait in the Summer and an hour's wait today out in the cold. I bundled up warm in the gear that i collected for taking my dog out and was relatively comfortable.

I saw people who were not nearly dressed sufficiently, with bare heads, clutching their cold ears. I had on a knitted hat lined with thick fleece and my enormous parka hood and i don't care if i looked like a lunatic, at least i was relatively comfortable.

I held up surprisingly well. I was worried about standing for a long time but my weight has exceeded the rating for my portable camp chair and portable stool so i just went and stood and hoped for the best.

I didn't feel any pain from standing for an hour. It's nice to know i can stand for a decent amount of time. Indeed, it was my cold feet that were the worst bother and my boots are expensive sturdy utilitarian boots so i was disappointed in them.

So i am glad to have that over with and feel a little more confident about the future with Omicron circulating. I had hoped for a tremendous surge of pleasure and pride in getting this ordeal over with as i have been staying inside for a week or ten days but instead i just feel mild relief. Oh well.

That's depression for you. Almost no one on Earth is feeling good at the moment tho so at least i am in good company!

I was unwell all day today because of my third dose on Sunday. I just took the day off work and chilled.

I have my pdoc appointment tomorrow. We'll probably increase the Trintellix since it's only partially working against my anxiety. That it's only partly working isn't a big surprise since it's the same with all my meds so far. Hopefully things will improve. There's always hope right?

Oh that awful having a temp that high. Hopefully it goes away quickly.

That’s sad 2 of your kids can’t make the trip Maybe next year

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You’re doing so great

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I have the ambition of a Sloth and I’m surprisingly okay about it today lol

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