Bipolar check-in #64

Fuzzybear · Mar 28, 2022, 05:34 PM

LOVE to ALL

Fuzzybear · Mar 28, 2022, 05:36 PM

Where did she go....

Victoria'smom · Mar 28, 2022, 06:27 PM

I stayed away from here yesterday when I needed help. I was freaking out and contemplating SH. Luckily my husband came home right before I did anything. Argued with pdoc today he raised my AD. He wants to see me in person next time. That scares me. I'm much better over the phone then in person conversationally. I didn't tell him about yesterday. My husband will come with me next time. I really don't like my pdoc but my meds are the most stable I've been. So I'm stuck with him.

Fuzzybear · Mar 28, 2022, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I stayed away from here yesterday when I needed help. I was freaking out and contemplating SH. Luckily my husband came home right before I did anything. Argued with pdoc today he raised my AD. He wants to see me in person next time. That scares me. I'm much better over the phone then in person conversationally. I didn't tell him about yesterday. My husband will come with me next time. I really don't like my pdoc but my meds are the most stable I've been. So I'm stuck with him.

Sending thoughts of love and light

*Beth* · Mar 28, 2022, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

This is not ''just a nuisance''.. it's boring as hell though and I hate it, and I hate me. And I hate sharing any medical stuff. I've got so much of it, probably like many here. UGH at me

I just messaged you, Fuzzy

Fuzzybear · Mar 28, 2022, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

I just messaged you, Fuzzy

Thanks BethRags

*Beth* · Mar 28, 2022, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

Those telethons were the ending of summer. School used to start right afterwards. I remember it being a big deal to stay up all night. That year mum asked me what I wanted for food and I made a watermelon boat. My first one.

That's right! The telethons were always on Labor Day week-end, then school would start on Tuesday.

Watermelon boats are so pretty

Nammu · Mar 28, 2022, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Well yes of course I need a root canal. Have to go to the oral surgeon and the soonest appt is the 6th. So Tylenol and Aleve ongoing and I can’t even think about adding 1300 to my already 1200 for the crown. Thank god for Care Credit to finance all this.

I got out of the car to get the mail and I fell down. I have fallen 6-7 times in the last couple months. I either get dizzy or more so I just trip over things.

I was found to have a Adnoma on my pituitary gland 4 years ago. I was having trouble walking straight at the time and it was found on brain MRI. Endocrinologist specialist at Vanderbilt said he didn’t think it would be a problem. But to keep close watch. I have a brain MRI yearly to check for charges. I’m due in June. So I dunno maybe that’s gotten larger? I hope not.

I’m just all kinds of aggravated. I want to go the bed and just stay there for a couple months or a year

Hope everyone’s week is off to a good start

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

*Beth* · Mar 28, 2022, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Well yes of course I need a root canal. Have to go to the oral surgeon and the soonest appt is the 6th. So Tylenol and Aleve ongoing and I can’t even think about adding 1300 to my already 1200 for the crown. Thank god for Care Credit to finance all this.

I got out of the car to get the mail and I fell down. I have fallen 6-7 times in the last couple months. I either get dizzy or more so I just trip over things.

I was found to have a Adnoma on my pituitary gland 4 years ago. I was having trouble walking straight at the time and it was found on brain MRI. Endocrinologist specialist at Vanderbilt said he didn’t think it would be a problem. But to keep close watch. I have a brain MRI yearly to check for charges. I’m due in June. So I dunno maybe that’s gotten larger? I hope not.

I’m just all kinds of aggravated. I want to go the bed and just stay there for a couple months or a year

Hope everyone’s week is off to a good start

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm so sorry about all of the crap that's happening for you. Dental issues are just so cruel, the expense. And of course psych meds cause dental problems.

The falling is a serious concern. Maybe you can schedule an MRI earlier than June? Just to be on the safe side.

Sending you a big, big HUG

Nammu · Mar 28, 2022, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

That's right! The telethons were always on Labor Day week-end, then school would start on Tuesday.

Watermelon boats are so pretty

I’ve been making watermelon boats and baskets ever since. I used to work for the school for the blind and we had a school wide celebration and everyone was bringing something special. I made a watermelon basket and it disappeared. Later one of my coworkers told me the supervisors had their own fancier spread and she saw my watermelon in there! Snobs.

*Beth* · Mar 28, 2022, 07:13 PM

So I went to renew my driver's license, armed to the teeth with a bunch of paperwork that is required for a "REAL" license. Starting in May 2023 a REAL license will be required for some stuff, so I want to get it done.

I handed over all my paperwork only to be told that I ALSO needed to show my marriage license because my last name is not the same name that's on my birth certificate! Good Lord. How discriminatory towards women! Because I am married and took my husband's last name nearly 40 years ago I have to go back to the DMV with all that paperwork PLUS my marriage license. I felt like screaming. But there you go - bureaucracy. Ugh.

Tomorrow David and I have to go to a tax something or other to file our taxes. I really hope I can get to bed a little earlier tonight. I'm sooo tired.

My therapist cancelled our appointment for the second time in a row. I don't know why she doesn't just retire. She's 71 and frequently cancels or takes time off.

Alas, here I go to sweep and mop the floor.

Blue skies and butterflies~**~*~***

*Beth* · Mar 28, 2022, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I’ve been making watermelon boats and baskets ever since. I used to work for the school for the blind and we had a school wide celebration and everyone was bringing something special. I made a watermelon basket and it disappeared. Later one of my coworkers told me the supervisors had their own fancier spread and she saw my watermelon in there! Snobs.

~~~~~ ~~~~~

Nammu · Mar 28, 2022, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

So I went to renew my driver's license, armed to the teeth with a bunch of paperwork that is required for a "REAL" license. Starting in May 2023 a REAL license will be required for some stuff, so I want to get it done.

I handed over all my paperwork only to be told that I ALSO needed to show my marriage license because my last name is not the same name that's on my birth certificate! Good Lord. How discriminatory towards women! Because I am married and took my husband's last name nearly 40 years ago I have to go back to the DMV with all that paperwork PLUS my marriage license. I felt like screaming. But there you go - bureaucracy. Ugh.

Tomorrow David and I have to go to a tax something or other to file our taxes. I really hope I can get to bed a little earlier tonight. I'm sooo tired.

I had to do that to get my library card! It took more paperwork to get my library card than it did to get my license But I didn’t get a REAL license. It’s only good for driving I can’t use it to get to Canada or board a plane. For that I have to get the REAL license and that was even more paperwork. So I either need to carry a passport ( more paperwork) or all my important papers with me to drive into Canada! Geez when I was a kid the border was open.

My therapist cancelled our appointment for the second time in a row. I don't know why she doesn't just retire. She's 71 and frequently cancels or takes time off.

Alas, here I go to sweep and mop the floor.

Blue skies and butterflies~**~*~***

Oh geez I put my reply inside the quote, 😞 sorry.

Fuzzybear · Mar 28, 2022, 08:10 PM

I didn't realise your T was 71. I had a T who I think looked about that age (maybe a bit younger). She had what I think she called ''firm boundaries'' and did not reveal anything about herself. Except for making comments like ''anger is part of relationships''.. with no explanation. idk. Meaning... her anger.

I did not trust her.. I guess I got something out of the therapy.

Bureaucracy. Ugh. Agreed!

Hope you sleep well tonight

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

So I went to renew my driver's license, armed to the teeth with a bunch of paperwork that is required for a "REAL" license. Starting in May 2023 a REAL license will be required for some stuff, so I want to get it done.

I handed over all my paperwork only to be told that I ALSO needed to show my marriage license because my last name is not the same name that's on my birth certificate! Good Lord. How discriminatory towards women! Because I am married and took my husband's last name nearly 40 years ago I have to go back to the DMV with all that paperwork PLUS my marriage license. I felt like screaming. But there you go - bureaucracy. Ugh.

Tomorrow David and I have to go to a tax something or other to file our taxes. I really hope I can get to bed a little earlier tonight. I'm sooo tired.

My therapist cancelled our appointment for the second time in a row. I don't know why she doesn't just retire. She's 71 and frequently cancels or takes time off.

Alas, here I go to sweep and mop the floor.

Blue skies and butterflies~**~*~***

Victoria'smom · Mar 28, 2022, 09:42 PM

I don't want to try anymore. It's obviously not enough. I Just want to sit and cry but tears wont come. I'm starting to think I was a horrible person from the get go. There's no way to make amends for destroying people's lifes. I was a good mom though. that's something it don't seem to matter now. He's grown. I want to be a good person but it's hard. I don't think I've ever thought I was a horrible person, until now.

Possible trigger:

**** I think I'm suicidal I won't do anything.

I guess I'm going to bed.

bizi · Mar 28, 2022, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I stayed away from here yesterday when I needed help. I was freaking out and contemplating SH. Luckily my husband came home right before I did anything. Argued with pdoc today he raised my AD. He wants to see me in person next time. That scares me. I'm much better over the phone then in person conversationally. I didn't tell him about yesterday. My husband will come with me next time. I really don't like my pdoc but my meds are the most stable I've been. So I'm stuck with him.

If you were really freaking out and almost self harmed I don't consider this stable.
I am sorry what does stable look like to you?
bizi

Fuzzybear · Mar 28, 2022, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I don't want to try anymore. It's obviously not enough. I Just want to sit and cry but tears wont come. I'm starting to think I was a horrible person from the get go. There's no way to make amends for destroying people's lifes. I was a good mom though. that's something it don't seem to matter now. He's grown. I want to be a good person but it's hard. I don't think I've ever thought I was a horrible person, until now.

Possible trigger:

**** I think I'm suicidal I won't do anything.

I guess I'm going to bed.

I do not agree that you're a ''bad person''.

................................................................................................

deleted

Victoria'smom · Mar 28, 2022, 10:14 PM

Bizi- I'm not impulsive, or psychotic ( I don't think). Maybe, I'm just a horrible person. I flipped out yesterday because I was home alone ( always a trigger for me) and kept thinking I needed to sh to calm down, because I could, and it was necessary because of my anxiety. Tonight however I recognize I'm far from stable but honestly this is the closest I've been.

Fuzzybear · Mar 28, 2022, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Bizi- I'm not impulsive, or psychotic ( I don't think). Maybe, I'm just a horrible person. I flipped out yesterday because I was home alone ( always a trigger for me) and kept thinking I needed to sh to calm down, because I could, and it was necessary because of my anxiety. Tonight however I recognize I'm far from stable but honestly this is the closest I've been.

Well I guess if you're a horrible person then I am too. I do not like being home alone either

(understatement lately, if I'm honest

I hate anxiety

Victoria'smom · Mar 28, 2022, 10:19 PM

Fuzzy bear you're not a bad person. I'd never pass judgement on others. :Hug:

Fuzzybear · Mar 28, 2022, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

If you were really freaking out and almost self harmed I don't consider this stable.
I am sorry what does stable look like to you?
bizi

Thanks bizi for always being honest and supportive. To ALL

This is MUCH appreciated, by me.

I try to be those things too....

Victoria'smom · Mar 28, 2022, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Well I guess if you're a horrible person then I am too. I do not like being home alone either

(understatement lately, if I'm honest

I hate anxiety

:Hug: your not a horrible person. Your kind and caring.

Fuzzybear · Mar 28, 2022, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Fuzzy bear you're not a bad person. I'd never pass judgement on others. :Hug:

Thanks. I deleted most of that post.

Fuzzybear · Mar 28, 2022, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

:Hug: your not a horrible person. Your kind and caring.

Thanks Miguel'smom

Soupe du jour · 04:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Wondering again, where did they all go? bluebicycle and the others.

I will have to find out how to use that @ feature (I guess....)

I sort of know where some went and can speculate on others. I remember bluebicycle well. I really liked him and worry about him. Ditto for buddha1too and a number of others. Some I don't worry as much about, but miss their contributions and support. Some of their screen names are cloudy in my memory. In any case, their contributions live on in my mind. It's true that people come and go in our lives.

Menu

Bipolar check-in #64

My Support Forums