Bipolar check-in #67

Am so sorry you had to experience this Blue_Bird!

Am sorry to hear that your father is so quick-tempered!

You are not a terrible person. Sometimes we get angry for no reason. So it is. Forgive yourself and continue with life.

I think that we forget what we have learned when we don't focus actively on them. That is my experience.

I try to do the recommended duties for persons with some sort of MI: Regular life, healthy eating, regular physical exercises, go to bed at the same time each (I am so lucky that Mirtazapin one hour before bedtime usually works for me - it was really dangerous in the start because I became suicidal, but that was only in the beginning. My p-doc took away my sleeping pills that I had used for years and put me at Mirtazepin instead).

Every morning I try to remember to do physical exercices in the living room, repeat my toolbox and do self hypnosis on how to cope. Without this repetition every morning I would have forgotten to use my coping strategies. That is my experience.

I am so sorry on your behalf that you do not have medication that helps you with sleep on a regular base. Have you tried to use relaxation exercises at bedtime, to be "lulled" into sleep while doing relaxion?

I think it's time you start to learn Czeck language properly by going to study group or learn online. I have tried Language Infusion online for Spanish. It worked well, but then came the lock down and I forgot all about having vacation in Spain.

I am on my way to do relaxation exercises at my bed. I feel some self sabotaging ideas this day, so I will take a good grip in my neck and say: "Do your cores!"

My cores this day, is doing work in the home and visit a grocery store.

Best wishes to all!

Yes - it’s prescribed for OCD but it’s made my emotional flashbacks more manageable. It’s been a tremendous help!

I have to take my phone into T mobile to get it checked out. Its going really slow and some sites won't load and I get these messages that say the site may be down or have moved and they are diagnosing the problem. And then sometimes the site will look really odd. I never look at anything out of the ordinary. I normally am on here most of the day. I do look at a lot of celeberity news sites and then I check out restuarants and stuff. I don't know if those have malware on them at all. I don't really want T Mobile all up in my phone though. But I'm not sure how they would check for malware? The only inapropraite stuff I ever look at is through Reddit and I'm logged out of there.

Do you want to try?

I cannot say that what works for me, will work for you, but I think that perhaps we all can live a bit better with our plagues if we find a way to do that.

Of course medication helps to some degree, so do therapy, but therapy can be very different, from "insight therapy" to "cognitive behavioral therapy" and all the methods in between.

I have gone to insight therapy in my younger years. I am not going to criticize it, because it helped in some way. But it was first when I started to do relaxation exercises daily and making a tool box of "what to do" in situations that triggered my emotions, that I really got a grip on how to live with it all.

I urge all of you, if you haven't done it before, start noticing what helps the wonderful person that is you. Write down these wonderful help tips for you only. Read through it at a time that fits your plan every day. In CBT it will be so that the more you read about your skills (instead of thinking about how stupid or sick you are), the more your own helping techniques will present themselves to you when you need them. You don't have to deny that you have an illness, only decide that you will live with it as best as possible (and make place in you daily plans to get enough sleep and more).

I think it can be wise to start with this video. I found something similar years ago and mixed that into my own advice from me to me. I think the clue is not to say that from to morrow I will do it better, but just ask oneself where one wants to direct ones thoughts all day long, and live in the here and now, days in and out (and be quick to forgive oneself when one has stumbled or hit a bump, and then move on):

I know. Yes, I've had many excuses to delay and not practice what I know enough. I just sent an email to the school I studied with a while back, inquiring about upcoming sessions. Thank you for this push. As written, I acted on it.

I’d be worried too but from what you said in a previous post you think your levels are alright at the moment don’t you?

Just checking in. I’m feeling restless this morning. That’s okay. I have much to do so I can work that restless energy out. I’m not able to float currently as it is drizzling.

I had a medication refill due Thursday. For some reason, they called it in to the pharmacy in Florida where I went after the internment. Give me a break! By the time I realized it, my med provider was out of the office until Monday. I don’t like going without my meds for 4-5 days. More than a little miffed. In a good mood otherwise.

Fingers crossed that my conversation with my daughter goes well Tuesday. It’s been tense since the debacle of July 4th and we haven’t talked since. I’m going to protect myself against bad behavior. If she wants to work things out respectfully, fine. Otherwise, sorry. No can do.

Growing stronger each day.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

Hi Jennifer. Can't you get the pharmacy in Florida to transfer the prescription electronically to you local pharmacy? Or was it printed on paper?

I'm glad you're growing stronger. Do be kind to yourself. Hopefully your rift with your daughter will end soon. You've all been experiencing so many stressful things. Anger issues during such times is obviously common. And it can end quickly. No need for it to continue too long.

I don't know. I feel all anxious and weird, almost PMS like because I'm hungry too. It could mean the level is high again. I see both my blood doctor and my endocronolgist this month and I have a blood test before the endocronolgist I'm not sure about the blood doctor. Basically I feel pretty crappy but theres also legit stuff to be anxious about too.

Yes if all goes to plan the baby will be born the middle of October a few days before my 1st nephews birthday.

My phone seems ok now. Its not acting weird. I'm not in my room today I'm in the living room. Maybe my room is messed up. But I don't know. I'm just so stressed and anxious and I'm hungry and I've put on a few pounds these last 2 days and I feel like I'm getting my period even though thats not possible anymore. I don't know if its the appointment on Tuesday I have to change my name, or the consultation with that other therapist on Wednesday. I'm wondering if my blood level is up again since this started all of a sudden after my last shot and the blood level goes up suddenly or if it is really just situational anxiety. I'm not moody though or too tired. I just took some of my meds and I have the TV on and I just wish I knew what would help me feel better.

I hope this goes well for the two of you, Jennifer! May be you can start with saying some words about mutual respect. If she takes it: Good. If not, you say it yourself: " Otherwise, sorry. No can do".

I admire your persistence!

This was the day, when my strength did not work well (and that at the same day as I tried to give some kind of general advice to others here ).

Well, well, so it is. Sometimes we want to do more then we have energy for and we have to admit that it has become too much for us. My home haven't been cleaned all the time I was sick with Covid. You name it ... (Grown up child and in law at vacation with one of my grown up grandchildren).

I had really hoped to do more, but had to say to myself: "It's OK, you tried". I like to be ready for the weekend at 6 o'clock PM at Saturdays. To me it is important that I can watch some religious YouTube videos, read the Bible or do something else that reminds me about my belief and follow it up with going to a church the next day.

This afternoon I sat in the middle of my own clutter, eating Pork Chops with Sauerkraut and had Cherries for dessert while watching some religious stuff at YouTube.

The clutter doesn't walk away, so I will have plenty of time to finish the cleaning at Monday.

I wish all of you a good weekend!

Really pleased that I reached out. Texted my nephew to see if he could come change a really high up awkward lightbulb 💡 turns out he has a tool for that! I was wondering how to get up there because it’s on the stairs, no safe place to put a ladder. Went out and got the lightbulb, and managed to make several people smile. The poor cashier was so startled to be told to have a wonderful afternoon. She was kind of scary looking and the people a head of me were avoiding eye contact with her.

Mum and I did the cleaning today. Mum wanted to do more than just run the vacuum, so I carted things out to the deck and moved furniture. Now I need a shower. Sir helped by disappearing!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Really pleased that I reached out. Texted my nephew to see if he could come change a really high up awkward lightbulb 💡 turns out he has a tool for that! I was wondering how to get up there because it’s on the stairs, no safe place to put a ladder. Went out and got the lightbulb, and managed to make several people smile. The poor cashier was so startled to be told to have a wonderful afternoon. She was kind of scary looking and the people a head of me were avoiding eye contact with her. Mum and I did the cleaning today. Mum wanted to do more than just run the vacuum, so I carted things out to the deck and moved furniture. Now I need a shower. Sir helped by disappearing!

What kind of tool did your nephew use?

Your reaching out to your nephew and to the scary-looking cashier

I don’t know what the tool looks like, he might be coming tomorrow, I’ll see it then. I’m envisioning some sort of claw hand to hold the lightbulb? I have no idea how they’ve changed the balb in the past.

Thank you Beth and GoGo2 , my anxiety is not as bad today

I've been very lax about keeping up here this week. I'm sorry. I'll try to go back and read.

N3 and his girlfriend have covid. They're doing ok. I gave N3 some vitamin D, C and zinc to hopefully boost his immune system. He's been taking them. I had a covid test yesterday and it came back negative - none detected. I had to get it done as a precursor to my LEEP procedure this coming Monday.. (Day after tomorrow.). I have a list of things I need to do and not do before the procedure. Most important is to not take my blood thinner tomorrow and Monday. I went on a walk today and feel refreshed and less tired! So why don't I go every day?? I should! Especially since my A1C came back at the very top of the normal range.

I also bought some groceries for N3 and his gf and dropped them off at their door.

I know you saw my post above but here I am! I've just been thinking about N3 and his gf. Plus I went for a walk today. I feel so much better. I should walk every day!