Bipolar check-in #67

Thanks, Beth. My fever and most body pain seemed to end by this morning, but I still have respiratory stuff going on. It's funny, Hubby had mostly a persistant phlemy cough. I have frequent (sometimes many times in a row) sneezing and nasal congestion with voice hoarseness, and only occasional scary sounding dry cough. Hubby's getting past his case.

Our friends are coming for brunch tomorrow, with us all sitting outside distanced. Tonight his one friend had an idea for them all to stay one night in an old nuclear fallout shelter that's now a museum and hostel. They called from there a bit ago. The ladies don't seem that into the place. I'm partially to blame as I told the one friend about it knowing it would be his kinda thing, but didn't expect them to rent a room!

Well my pdoc just yelled at me when I asked for concerta. Basically he said I was seeking meds for weight loss and every time I went in there I was asking for something different. I'm not quite sure thats true. Last time he didn't switch my meds at all. And I've never asked for concerta in my life before. But he was all like "every time you come in here you ask for concerta." Ummm. No I don't . And I wasn't asking for it for weight loss I was asking for it so I could get my *** off MSF all day and concentrate on other things. Anyways I got into an argument about how I didn't want to gain weight from meds but my anxiety and concentration were really bad and my mom was there with me on the call and she vouched for me how badly things were when I left the house. So he is putting me on Prestiq for anxiety and stresses its weight netrual but can cause manic and anger issues. He says theres like a 5% chance of it happening. I already have the anger issues going for me so theres a win. But he says its the only weight netrual med I'm not on that he's willing to give me. This is the same guy who put me on valium when I said I was completely out of control with my other benzo and running out early, by the way. But I swear I've never asked for concerta before and I don't really ask for much of anything from him. He does things on his own. So I'll see how this prestiq stuff works. Hopefully it helps with my anxiety and doesn't wreck my weight in the process. He was all like trying to be apologetic at the end and he said "but when theres an elephant in the room I need to address it" but I didn't do? Anything. My mom says hes just confused she has never heard me mention concerta before. But it sucks getting yelled at when the other person is in the wrong. It reminds me of when I'd be at work and I would get yelled at by my aggressive boss for things my coworkers were doing.

Hey hey hey !!!

I had a lovely break and I’m back bright eyes and bushy tailed.

Hope everyone is doing okay. Many hugs to anyone in need !

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yeah pdocs often seem kinda stupid and not consistent and like to flip the script on you whenever they feel like it. He said to me one time "would you feel better if you lost some weight?" Then when we met in person in May for the first time since October 2020 he said "you look great from all your weight loss and surgeries." So I don't get why he flipped out so badly yesterday when he was almost encouraging it before.

I’m feeling better today. Interestingly, I was hurting badly yesterday and took an extra Vraylar. The hurt and depression was gone within hours. Really surprised me. I’ll ask my med provider to increase Vraylar and decrease Zoloft.

I had a good therapy session yesterday. She strongly encouraged me to have limited contact with sister as she keeps attacking me. Sister kept trying to call and text me yesterday and I just wasn’t up for it after her cruel comments of Sunday. I am an amazing person and don’t deserve that treatment from anyone.

My talk with my daughter is tonight where I discuss the way her behavior has impacted me. The other night was her turn. I’ll be diplomatic and respectful but honest and direct. Hopefully we make headway.

We had the best calzones last night. Delicious! Also watched a Bruce Willis film. Excellent! Today, we’re going to the pool around 2:00 and going for ice cream later. Lovely. Will work on getting caught up in between events.

Hugs to all.

Does it affect your weight or anything?

I’m down to 2.5 mg of ambien. Sleep, ha. It takes forever to fall asleep, I wake many times during the night for long periods of time. I feel like I’m just on the edge of sleep, no deep restful sleep. BUT I’ve not had the physical symptoms I had when I tried to go off myself. I do worry what’s going to happen when I go to none. Last week I only went to swimming not the reg fitness and yesterday I didn’t go to either aqua fit or fitness class. To be sure my sister showed up just before I would have had to leave but I wasn’t planing on going anywhere. So I can’t say she stopped me.

I mostly just sit in front of the tv dead eyed and lethargic. I’ve got to force myself to go to both fitness classes tomorrow.

Still no word on when I’ll get my car back. That’s another thing that keeps me home, the loner car not having good AC. Just too muggy to go anywhere in that car. Still, at least they were able to find me a loaner. I need to be grateful for that.