Bipolar check-in #67

I lose weight without a hassle, my cholesterol goes back to normal and I’m ok for about a yr. Then hell breaks out and I get hyper then I crash. I’m wondering if I can stop for a year and then go back on about 10-11 months later and keep from swinging?

Laundry is being done today, no point in putting it off. The coming days will be just as brutally hot as today is. The laundry room is tiny and cave-like; strangely, it's cooler in there than it is outside. And there is a bit of humidity in there, not oven-dry like outside.

I feel so alone 'cause each cat is hidden away in a dark place, but they choose warmish places. I don't think they appreciate the a/c, and the fans ruffle their fur

Someone stole my kitchen towel!

I've decorated my kitchen to be black and white with lemons for accents. So I purchased a nice kitchen towel with a silk screened image of 3 lemons on it. Really pretty colors. Last week when I did my laundry there were several other people doing laundry. I always pick up my laundry on time & when I went to get my clothes out of the dryer the door was ajar. Came upstairs, folded everything...no lemon kitchen towel. Hard to believe, but it does appear to have been stolen.

I'm going to hang a sign in the laundry room, in both English and Spanish so everyone can understand the sign, asking that the towel be returned (no questions asked) to my apartment number door. Doubt it'll be returned, but I'll try.

I'm thinking of @wildflowerchild25 ...I think she must be IP. Hopefully she'll get the Haldol she obviously needs.

Along with love you can have a cookie...today's cookies are lemon with frosting. You can have more than one if you want since there are plenty ~**~**~***~~*

* helping self to two lemon cookies * thanks @Beth

My guy didn’t come greet me when I got up this morning. After a couple of hours I went hunting for him. He was nowhere! Went in the basement and looked down there and called his name. He was at the top of the stairs asking me why I was downstairs calling him! I have no idea where he was and he’ll never tell.

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Originally Posted by Nammu I want to be off all of it. I’m really leaning towards quitting the AP too. But I’m Leary cause I’m so stable but I do believe in taking breaks from APs to mitigate their side effects.

Yes, I'm currently going off Zoloft (AD). I'm not convinced that it's helping in any way, but it sure does upset my stomach. Since decreasing it I stopped feeling constantly nauseated.

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed It seems like from what I'm hearing prestiq is just going to make things worse for me. Not better. If I ever get it that is. My pharamcy is battling it out with my insurance company and my doctor. My insurance approves my top surgery, consindered cosmetic to most, with hardly any hassle and covers it 100% but I have to go through hell to get a mental health med. I've dealt with this since I was 13. Mental health vs physical issues when it comes to insurance companies. I'm just angry again for no reason in particular and I'm waiting to hear back from my doctor.

I went through the same hassle with Pristiq (approval from insurance). I know I took it for some time, but I don't recall anything about it. Why do you think it won't help you?

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Originally Posted by Nammu * helping self to two lemon cookies * thanks @Beth My guy didn’t come greet me when I got up this morning. After a couple of hours I went hunting for him. He was nowhere! Went in the basement and looked down there and called his name. He was at the top of the stairs asking me why I was downstairs calling him! I have no idea where he was and he’ll never tell.

They are so adorable. They have their own kitty lives and decisions to make.

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Originally Posted by Moose72 I hugged my hot water bottle last night. That's the last thing I remember before waking up with the hwb sticking to my chest. There are red areas and one blister. I should've kept it on top of my shirt. Darn it!

Oh, no! I'll tell you what, once my lower back was aching from working a long shift at the cafe. So I went to bed lying on my back with a heating pad under my lower back and the top of my butt. Ha, I woke up with a bad burn and blisters on my butt Not pleasant! Geez, I didn't know a hwb would burn like that.

Wow. That burn sounds bad! Yes hwbs will burn if the water in them is hot enough- obviously.

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Originally Posted by Moose72 Wow. That burn sounds bad! Yes hwbs will burn if the water in them is hot enough- obviously.

I've never used a hwb, I've seen them in stores, though. I remember Laura Ingalls Wilder telling about how she and her sisters would put hot potatoes in their pockets to keep their hands warm while walking to school.

Conversation with daughter went very, very well. We covered a lot of ground, got stuff off our chest and made steps to move forward. Next steps: meeting half way to visit, talking on the phone and river rafting. I do feel much, much better and very hopeful. Here’s to a happier, healthier relationship.

I don't know how I'm doing. Failed inspection. Moving in two months (or less). Miguel's signing up for grad classes after a half hearted look for work. we've decided we need mother son time when we move so we're looking at taking (special effects) make up class. He wants to dive into all things acting and film related, wood working, metal arts, and resin work. H is kinda upset that he wants to be a theater kid after getting his degree and everything. But at least the kid has hobbies that's a step in the right direction.

Hey everyone! I made a thread since i always lose my place here. Check it out if you want. Thanks!
Peace and love to all who read this!

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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 Conversation with daughter went very, very well. We covered a lot of ground, got stuff off our chest and made steps to move forward. Next steps: meeting half way to visit, talking on the phone and river rafting. I do feel much, much better and very hopeful. Here’s to a happier, healthier relationship.

What wonderful news!

I hate nightmares. The end.

@wildflowerchild25, wishing you safety and the care you need. We're all worrying about you.

@Jennifer 1967, I'm so happy to read that you and your daughter had a productive and positive talk. I was surprised when you wrote you were on the outs, a while back. I can imagine all of the stressors with the many challenges your family has had were factors.

@*Beth*, sorry your pretty dish towel was taken/lost. These seemingly little loses of personal items are still sad. I had a favorite coffee mug that I loved that was stolen or broken (and secretly trashed) when we had a cleaning crew come in over a year and a half ago. I bought an even prettier replacement after my husband bought some that weren't quite to my liking, though his thought was appreciated. If you must, please do the same with your dish towel. I like lemons, too. My shower curtain has lemons and their branches and greens.

@WindsThatBlow, there should be no guilt in sleeping in late, when needed. Do you think you have a touch of depression? A Ph.D. sounds like a wonderful goal, but you must be ready, mentally, for such a pursuit.

@Nammu, I hope your sleep improves soon. Maybe another med adjustment will help or some other strategy. I've been writing about my sound machine a lot lately. That's one of my non-chemical aids.

Yesterday my husband's old workmate friends came over. It was sad that we had to spend the whole time outside because of Hubby's and my sickness (covid). It was hot, though not nearly so much as in western Europe. One of the three I had personally never really met until then. She is a lovely person. The other two I've known quite well and always liked.

The visit lasted from 10:30 am all the way to 8:00 pm! We had to order pizza and salads for dinner beyond the food we offered for brunch. I needed to excuse myself, at points, because the length of the visit and stress from the heat/sun was too much for me, being sick. I was in such misery going to bed that I took a NyQuil on top of my meds. It helped me breathe, which I was struggling with because of full nasal congestion and parched mouth/throat. I woke up dizzy. I'll be taking it easy all day today.

Originally Hubby was to accompany them to Prague and another Czech city, but instead they had to go it alone.

My endocronologist said my levels were being read for a female. So they are actually normal. He says I'm going through a lot but it doesn't sound testereone related. This morning I set a bunch of alarms so I can take my meds and eat meals at the same time each day of the week. I know my med mangement has been a bit all over the place. I haven't been taking my meds at consistent times just whenever I've felt like it. And I know you need to take them at the same time each day for them to work. So I just set like different alarms for meds and food. Hopefully I can get into a schedule and work things out.

It looks like it got approved. I don't know what I have to pay though. Just based on what I've been reading on here and on Reddit its kind of a toss up med. It can either really help with anxiety or make it worse. My doctor is concerned it will cause mania and make me angry but its the only thing we both agreed on. From what I've seen on Reddit people have lost weight on it and gaining weight is a big concern.

Ooo last night wasn’t a great night. Took hours to fall asleep then I woke up much too early. I gave up and got up to watch loony tunes. Surprisingly I don’t feel particularly tired today, I hope I’m not going to get wired.

Sounds like a mostly nice time. I’m glad you got a nap in there. That is a long time to socialize! Do take it easy today. Feel better soon.

I’m glad you had a nice visit with people you like. I’m sorry you were miserable last night. Hopefully, taking it easy today will help you feel better.

Do you have a link to your new thread?

No it didn’t affect mine.

I’m having some anxiety this morning. I’ve tried my bag of tricks: weighted blanket, relaxing music, breath work, affirmations, stress relief tea, meditation, EFT (tapping) and finally my stress relief movie - Die Hard. My anxiety got a little bit better but still remains. I’m not sure why.

I’m going to float very briefly then head off to bible study and a pot luck luncheon afterwards. Our crepe myrtles are gorgeous this year and I’m going to cut some flowers for vases. I’ve got to pick up medicine in two places and I’d like to go back to the sunflower fields for more sunflowers. A few errands and some housework and then church dinner. I think I’ll round that off by renting a movie I’ve been wanting to see.

I’ve texted with my daughter this morning and talked with my sister. She called me to apologize. It went well.

Hugs to all.

@Soupe du jour - Thank you for your understanding about the kitchen towel. I have very few possessions (by choice), and the ones I do have I consider carefully. That kitchen towel was one of a kind, hand designed and screened. I treated myself to it specifically to match my kitchen. It will be awhile before I can toss $ at a custom kitchen towel again.