Bipolar check-in #67

I’m so sorry about your kitchen towel. That’s extremely disappointing to have something so special stolen.

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour Yesterday my husband's old workmate friends came over. It was sad that we had to spend the whole time outside because of Hubby's and my sickness (covid). It was hot, though not nearly so much as in western Europe. One of the three I had personally never really met until then. She is a lovely person. The other two I've known quite well and always liked. The visit lasted from 10:30 am all the way to 8:00 pm! We had to order pizza and salads for dinner beyond the food we offered for brunch. I needed to excuse myself, at points, because the length of the visit and stress from the heat/sun was too much for me, being sick. I was in such misery going to bed that I took a NyQuil on top of my meds. It helped me breathe, which I was struggling with because of full nasal congestion and parched mouth/throat. I woke up dizzy. I'll be taking it easy all day today. Originally Hubby was to accompany them to Prague and another Czech city, but instead they had to go it alone.

Aside from being sick ("Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?") it sounds like a lovely day, well-spent. I do hope you are taking it very easy today, though.

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Originally Posted by Miguel'smom I don't know how I'm doing. Failed inspection. Moving in two months (or less). Miguel's signing up for grad classes after a half hearted look for work. we've decided we need mother son time when we move so we're looking at taking (special effects) make up class. He wants to dive into all things acting and film related, wood working, metal arts, and resin work. H is kinda upset that he wants to be a theater kid after getting his degree and everything. But at least the kid has hobbies that's a step in the right direction.

I am so sorry about the failed inspection. That sounds immensely stressful.

On the other hand, I think Miguel's interests are exciting! What does H want Miguel to do?

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Originally Posted by downandlonely Do you have a link to your new thread?

Her thread is on this board, just under this check-in thread.

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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 I’m having some anxiety this morning. I’ve tried my bag of tricks: weighted blanket, relaxing music, breath work, affirmations, stress relief tea, meditation, EFT (tapping) and finally my stress relief movie - Die Hard. My anxiety got a little bit better but still remains. I’m not sure why. I’m going to float very briefly then head off to bible study and a pot luck luncheon afterwards. Our crepe myrtles are gorgeous this year and I’m going to cut some flowers for vases. I’ve got to pick up medicine in two places and I’d like to go back to the sunflower fields for more sunflowers. A few errands and some housework and then church dinner. I think I’ll round that off by renting a movie I’ve been wanting to see. I’ve texted with my daughter this morning and talked with my sister. She called me to apologize. It went well. Hugs to all.

Ugh, anxiety. I hope your activities today lessen it.

Crepe Myrtles are stunningly beautiful. I can look through my window to the right and see a brilliant dark pink one in full bloom.

104 degrees again today. We're really getting walloped and there's no end in sight at this point. I have a 4 p.m. appointment with my med dude and if I didn't need refills I'd reschedule the appointment because it will be scorching at 4 p.m., especially inside my car. But next week looks to be just as hot. I wonder if he'd do a phone appointment today, considering the heat.

Daisies, Dear Ones. May your day be a peaceful one.

Well I don’t have to worry I’m getting wired! By the end of loony tunes I was nodding off, so went to lay down for an hour and suddenly it was 10:30. So I missed aqua fitness and am much to discombobulated to go to fitness at 11. This 2.5 is going terribly

I got the pristiq after therapy. I took the first dose an hour ago. Of course I can't say much after one dose. But I feel buzzed and my brain feels fuzzy and I am not hungry. Therapy went decently. I was trying not to come off as arrogrant and I was trying to make her like me and I was trying really hard to be productive. We talked about what happened this weekend with my anger and anxietyb issues. We talked about how the news last night caused me to shut down for the night. We talked alot about food. She had me watch some cartoon video about a poodle and a mastiff. It was about body image. Anyways therapy went well, but holy hell do I feel completely baked right now. I have not felt much anxiety today and I'm not having my paranoia thoughts today either.

My med alarms are working today. Hopefully I can get back on track with my meds so they can start working properly again. I still need to work on the food alarms. My therapist emailed me half an hour ago about some appointment times. At our session I brought up christmas 2020 and being forced into IOP but I didnt go into details. I havent said anything about transfernce T to her and I don't know if I'm just letting go or if I dont want my current therapist to think I'm having transference with her. I think its a combination of both.

I'm feeling a lot less peaceful than I was earlier on.

Hope he does a phone appointment for you!

I’d say heat of 104 would definitely be a tel-med emergency.

I'm really sad. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist of 6 years today and she told me the news that she is not going to be working at the clinic anymore. My final appointment with her will be in September. I knew it would happen someday of course but I wasn't expecting to hear that today. She's been the best psychiatrist I have ever had, she has helped me more than any other I've seen. I was 22 when I started seeing her now I'm 28. Now I have to start all over with someone new. I know it may seem stupid but I actually cried when I got off the video call. I'm glad she told me at the end, I held it in until I got off the video meeting with her.

@Blue_BirdOh that’s tough. Losing a good pdoc is hard. They are so essential. Completely understand the sad 😢

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Originally Posted by Nammu Well I don’t have to worry I’m getting wired! By the end of loony tunes I was nodding off, so went to lay down for an hour and suddenly it was 10:30. So I missed aqua fitness and am much to discombobulated to go to fitness at 11. This 2.5 is going terribly

(((((HUG)))))

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird I'm really sad. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist of 6 years today and she told me the news that she is not going to be working at the clinic anymore. My final appointment with her will be in September. I knew it would happen someday of course but I wasn't expecting to hear that today. She's been the best psychiatrist I have ever had, she has helped me more than any other I've seen. I was 22 when I started seeing her now I'm 28. Now I have to start all over with someone new. I know it may seem stupid but I actually cried when I got off the video call. I'm glad she told me at the end, I held it in until I got off the video meeting with her.

Your crying is not stupid at all, it's a normal reaction to a big loss. And what a big loss it is. I am so sorry, Birdie

I called the med dude clinic, explained that I would like to avoid going out in this heat and could I please do a telephone appointment with med dude. So the very bored-sounding receptionist said, "welllummnoo..." and said they'll do telemed, then went into a whole deal about downloading an app onto my phone, which involved going to the Google store, dah, dah, dah. I lost her from word 2 because the only thing I use my cell for is emergencies (i.e., car emergencies while I'm on the road). I have never taken to cell phones.

I explained to the woman that warnings on medication tell patients NOT to get overheated, and that my phone is not connected to the internet. Therefore, since the heat is so extreme today, I would appreciate if the clinic made an exception and allowed a phone appt. No, she says, they don't really do phone appointments.

I told her that I only need refills, so could I have those sent to the pharmacy and schedule for next week. She agreed to that. Hopefully. it will go as planned.

I will ask med dude, when I see him, about phone appointments. I have a feeling that in certain cases they would be permissible.

Anyway, I was annoyed, but I'm feeling tired and on edge this morning, anyway.

I have to go to the grocery store, no way around it, I'm flat out of food. I am going in a few minutes though, before the day gets any hotter - and the store is only 1/2 a mile away. It will be a quick visit.

I don't think I have stopped having a headache in 3 weeks.

I'm feeling annoyed at people (certainly no one on this exceptionally wonderful BD board).



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Went to the store. That's it. I am completely done with summer. I'm tired of all of it. And the hot weather will go well into October - although I am hoping for a drop into the 90's after the current scorch of torture.

Now I'm worrying about my cat London. He either has a hairball that he can't get rid of, or he has asthma. He's been hacking for a week or more. I've been giving him hairball stuff; sometimes it seems to help, but not really. There's no money to take him to the vet until the beginning of August. I'm worried out of my mind.

Now I just feel like puking my guts out from so much nausea. I got my weekly shot today so that could be it too. My mind still seems relaxed although its probably just in my head. But I don't feel like I'm in a crisis the way I had been feeling these past few days. I got an email from my T and it warranted a response and then I deleted it after I read her reply so no funny stuff would start with her too. I know like we don't choose that kinda stuff, but theres gotta be a level of control.

We’ve been ordering food delivery because we’re out of food also. It’s been so humid I haven’t wanted to go, today it’s hot ( for us, nothing like most of you are having!) but the humidity went down so it’s a bit more bearable. So I went out and got groceries and mum OTC meds. I need a shower now! My hair was soaked. We have leftover chop Suzy and rice that needs to be eaten, but neither of us particularly liked it.

@Nammu

You are obviously extremely tired. As you know it's very common for people with BD to have sleep issues. At this point, would you consider trying a different sleep aid? Have you given melatonin and valerian a try, or...? An OTC - or a medication? I understand wanting to be free of any sleep aids, but I'm concerned about the effects of your lack of sleep.

There's a good idea! But aren't you supposed drop hot potatoes? (Or try not to?)

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Originally Posted by Moose72 There's a good idea! But aren't you supposed drop hot potatoes? (Or try not to?)

Haha, I think that's a game, yes. They probably played with the potatoes when they got to the school yard.

Until I weaned off the ambien I was taking 25 mg ambien, 10mg melatonin, two Benadryl every night. I still take 10 mg melatonin as anything above that is considered too much. The two Benadryl is mostly so my nose doesn’t stuff up despite having a fan and A/C I am very stable so I consider this the best time to try and get off the ambien. I hate that my body is hooked on it. I have always been able to quit anything when I decided to, not being able to quit this was a huge shock. I expect that it’s going to take a month of horrible sleep before I am able to get used to not taking it. Shockingly I was on the high dose of ambien when I was also on pain meds including fentanyl. They put me on the high dosage when I was ip because I didn’t sleep. They had me on a ton of meds to try and get me to sleep. Sleep has been a big issue my whole life but the way they act in ip is as if I was deliberately staying awake night after night to spite them. Even when I was in the spine rehab place they were giving me 20 mg ambien because I wasn’t sleeping and they were like, you gotta sleep! Bones need sleep to heal!

I've been learning to crochet with my mom. Only had two sessions. One to learn how to make a straight chain and one to learn a new fancier stitch. Well I thought I'd be industrious and go get my project and take it home. Fifteen minutes into practicing I got confused! Suddenly nothing looked right so I gave up! My mom says we can practice more tomorrow. Why did I ask to learn to crochet?? Because I want to carry on something my mom does.

The heat index is 113’F where I live. Miserable

i updated my journal.

long story short, had my appointment today with the pdoc. got a new medication i cannot pronounce, but for depression and increased my gabapentin as a trial for my legs shakes. i was hesitant with adding any new meds, but because i was crying so much during session...

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed Now I just feel like puking my guts out from so much nausea. I got my weekly shot today so that could be it too. My mind still seems relaxed although its probably just in my head. But I don't feel like I'm in a crisis the way I had been feeling these past few days. I got an email from my T and it warranted a response and then I deleted it after I read her reply so no funny stuff would start with her too. I know like we don't choose that kinda stuff, but theres gotta be a level of control.

You know, I'm realizing that a lot of psych meds cause nausea/upset stomach. Also headaches.