Bipolar check-in #67

I feel like complete crap physically. I think its the hematrcrit again. I sent a message to my blood doctor asking if I can do the blood test tommorow instead of the 8th. I am going out of state for the 4th of July and theres no way I can travel and mingle with cousins I haven't seen in 3 years when I feel so crappy. I'm hoping she'll agree to the blood test and if the level is high I can get another phelebotomy procedure done on Wednesday or Thursday. My pdoc told me it looks like I have some form of cancer. I don't think thats his place to say that since he is not a medical doctor plus why would you scare your client. My mom thinks theres something legit medical going. I tried just snapping out of it and doing stuff today. Like I get theres no snapping out of things but if I have had enough of something then I can get my head out of the sand. Like I was fed up with my weight in 2016 and I had enough so I just did something about it. In 1990 3 years before I was born my dad stumbled into the kitchen drunk when my sister was 18 months old and the look she gave him lit a fire under his *** and he got into rehab and never touched a drink again. If you want something badly you'll work for it. Sorry about the rant I'm emotional today.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed Mine is a Dangtop brand bamboo blanket. I got it on Amazon. It looks nice on my bed but I just don't really care for it. Its gray and matches my walls and floors nicely. So at least it looks nice in my room. I just don't find it very cooling either. Lately I've just needed my kinda heavy burrito blanket.

The Dangtop bamboo blanket was the one that literally fell apart. I won't order from them again.

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Originally Posted by Aurelius710 .... What tied it all together for me was a rejection. A metaphorical pushing me away. I hardly know the person and I don't particularly get why, but it still sent me down nonetheless. If my mood shifted that quickly over something that mattered so little, it can't be good. ....

Oooh, I totally get that. You make an excellent point about your mood shifting.

I hope the phone interview goes really well.

The usual Sunday evening Johnny Cash blues "Sunday Morning Comin' Down"). I hate this. I feel so dissociative and spaced out that I have to struggle to recall "tools." Sometimes the only one I can access is breathing.

I have only 1 more session with Dr. B. before he leaves. I guess I'm feeling anxiety about that, even though I knew it was coming and made sure I got very minimally attached to him. So it's not like I'm deeply attached to him, but I just plain like him; he's a good person.

It would be excellent if I could roller skate outside this evening, but the freakin' temperature is 102 degrees, so I'm concerned about overheating. Heck, it's warm in my apartment even with the a/c and fans.

Dipshites are blowing things up every night, they've really started the 4th of July early this year. I can hardly wait until the actual 4th *rolls eyes* The poor cats get so terribly frightened because it sounds like a war zone, with the booms. It reminds me of staying 20 miles from the Gaza Strip in Israel...war, bombs and rifle fire almost constantly. Unnerving, to say the least. I was staying on Kibbutz Or-Haner with my daughter who was 7 years old. Scary stuff.

Anyway, the cops in this town are ineffectual and won't do a thing about illegal fireworks. A lot of people are really frustrated with the situation.

Just feeling extremely anxious. Maybe turning on some music will help.

Music can help. sorry you are so anxious.
(((((HUGS))))) @*Beth*

bizi

Today my hubby and I are taking a long ride a little northwest in Czechia (Bohemian region). We have appointments to view two houses. The first looks like it will be the nicer one, but we think it's also more sought after. The realtor implied so. The second would need a heck of a lot more work, but is also in a stunning area. At least both would be ones we could live in right away. We have other houses we inquired about viewing, but in different areas. We're trying to clump together the ones closer to each other. We'll be returning home to sleep, as I have my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow morning. Perhaps later this week we'll view other houses. We may sleep in an inn overnight when we see them to avoid long treks back home in between all. The fire under our butts on this is forcing quick action.

Yesterday I did a lot of physical work sprucing up the outside of our house. There's still more to do out there. This is to both satisfy our landlady and pretty it up for our American friends coming next month.

Good morning, I've been feeling a little off lately. Not sure if depressed or what.

Anyway, I had 3 dentist appointments last week.. Two of the appointments were for fillings and one was to start the root canal. So I have two more appointments in August, one for the rest of the fillings and one to finish up the root canal. Then all the dental work will be done!!! I'm so excited to almost be finished with it all.

It's almost been 6 months of eating disorder recovery, no more restricting, and no more bingeing or purging. Which means my teeth are going to be safe from the purging which is what caused a lot of the damage to begin with.

I plan on getting some exercise today. Getting on the treadmill for 45 minutes, then doing some weights, and then doing resistance bands. Then I need to walk to the library to return something.
It's raining today, I love rainy days, they're very relaxing to me.

My cats are doing well, I just gave them their breakfast. Mustachio knows the word "breakfast" now so if I say "do you want breakfast??" she goes nuts

I hope everyone has a good week

I feel a lot better this morning. I think It was the almonds. I think I've heard of people having an almond allergy. I would like to get my blood test done sooner though. I slept uninteruptted from 7 until 3:30. I think thats a record. My new stomach med has helped with my sleep it seems. It makes me slightly tired during the day but not terribly. Just enough that it takes a bit of motivation to get me off the recliner to do chores. But its not like drowsy hangover lie in bed all day kinda drowsy. My appeitite is still low and my weight was lower then it has been lately this morning. So thats good. I'm trying to get up the energy to make it to the store. I have therapy in person tommrow. I'm not really looking forward to seeing her but at least we aren't meeting in the middle of the afternoons anymore. I think we both know thats not a good time. I do much better physically and mentally in the mornings. Thats why I always chose a job where I worked the first shift.

I got to the store. I was anxious to leave my house today. Some older bigger guy I felt was stareing at me. I walked away and my mom and I were having trouble looking for something and then I ran into him again and I got the same look. At least I think so. I don't ever really look at anyone. But it made me uncomfortable enough to think "does he have a gun on him?" I don't know if I was being paranoid or not. Its not like I'm dressed unusually or anything today. He just gave me the creeps though. But I seem to only have issues when I'm already anxious and self conscious. So maybe I just imagined it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour Today my hubby and I are taking a long ride a little northwest in Czechia (Bohemian region). We have appointments to view two houses. The first looks like it will be the nicer one, but we think it's also more sought after. The realtor implied so. The second would need a heck of a lot more work, but is also in a stunning area. At least both would be ones we could live in right away. We have other houses we inquired about viewing, but in different areas. We're trying to clump together the ones closer to each other. We'll be returning home to sleep, as I have my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow morning. Perhaps later this week we'll view other houses. We may sleep in an inn overnight when we see them to avoid long treks back home in between all. The fire under our butts on this is forcing quick action. Yesterday I did a lot of physical work sprucing up the outside of our house. There's still more to do out there. This is to both satisfy our landlady and pretty it up for our American friends coming next month.

I'm excited for you; I believe that remaining in CZ will ultimately offer you an easier and better lifestyle than France would have. As for language - as you pointed out, now you have an exact focus on which language to practice and learn.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird Good morning, I've been feeling a little off lately. Not sure if depressed or what. Anyway, I had 3 dentist appointments last week.. Two of the appointments were for fillings and one was to start the root canal. So I have two more appointments in August, one for the rest of the fillings and one to finish up the root canal. Then all the dental work will be done!!! I'm so excited to almost be finished with it all. It's almost been 6 months of eating disorder recovery, no more restricting, and no more bingeing or purging. Which means my teeth are going to be safe from the purging which is what caused a lot of the damage to begin with. I plan on getting some exercise today. Getting on the treadmill for 45 minutes, then doing some weights, and then doing resistance bands. Then I need to walk to the library to return something. It's raining today, I love rainy days, they're very relaxing to me. My cats are doing well, I just gave them their breakfast. Mustachio knows the word "breakfast" now so if I say "do you want breakfast??" she goes nuts I hope everyone has a good week

What a relief, and even a joy, it will be when your dental work is complete!

Congratulations on being in recovery for 6 months

The exercise sounds wonderful and I won't be surprised if it picks up your mood.

Rain! Ah, enjoy it!

Thankfully, I made it through Sunday evening. Another Sunday evening. I don't know why they bother me so much. I like when the routine gets back to normal on Monday.

My sister and BIL's 55th anniversary was Saturday and I forgot to send a card. I am so mad at myself. David says better to send one late than not at all. But it will be a few days before I can tolerate this heat enough to go to the store. I have to be out of the a/c only when absolutely necessary or I start feeling really weird...I assume it has to do with meds.

Good Monday vibrations

I have been in bed with Covid almost every day since I got home. Must have caught it in Turkey (Turkiet). But the worst part is done. From here it can only become better ...

Hope you feel better

Keep taking it easy so you can get well soon!

The steroids did not have a long lasting benefit. I’ve got cough and congestion again today pretty bad and I felt so lousy that I went back to bed for 3.5 hours this morning so it’s another telehealth visit for me at 4:00. It will eventually get better. It’s been 16 days now. I’ve learned two valuable things though. I mind my stress meticulously and I don’t let myself get overtired. I get my rest.

I’m in another city taking mom to see her doctor. I’ll do the telehealth from here.

Looking forward to floating, bible study and begonias.

I hope everybody has a peaceful day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoGo2 I have been in bed with Covid almost every day since I got home. Must have caught it in Turkey (Turkiet). But the worst part is done. From here it can only become better ...

Oh, no! I'm so sorry that your trip has been impacted in such a way. I hope you continue to become well...quickly. Be sure to stay hydrated.

I’m now all ready for the birthday girls tomorrow. My daughter and granddaughter have the same birthday 🥳. Picked up the cake and decorations along with lemonade and milk. There’s just going to be 7 of us as they had the party on Saturday when the kids could all go. I hear it was chaos! 15 5 year olds and 3 9 year olds! But everyone had a good time. Tomorrow is just for the grandparents really! Got purple glasses, napkins and pale blue plates with flowers on them. The cake is chocolate with chocolate frosting and rainbow colored balloons.

Today was only supposed to get to 80, but boy it felt hot 🥵 like many of you I can’t handle the heat. Turned the AC on. I can’t imagine living in Texas anymore. I was a hermit in the summer time down there.

Has anybody seen the new summer movies. I missed Downton, and Dr Strange but hope to see the dinosaurs! And truth be told Lightyear sounds fun 🤩 but until I get my car back it’s no movies for me. But one way or another I’m seeing Avatar in the theater when it finally gets out!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 The steroids did not have a long lasting benefit. I’ve got cough and congestion again today pretty bad and I felt so lousy that I went back to bed for 3.5 hours this morning so it’s another telehealth visit for me at 4:00. It will eventually get better. It’s been 16 days now. I’ve learned two valuable things though. I mind my stress meticulously and I don’t let myself get overtired. I get my rest. I’m in another city taking mom to see her doctor. I’ll do the telehealth from here. Looking forward to floating, bible study and begonias. I hope everybody has a peaceful day.

It seems that many times steroids aren't terribly effective. Yes, rest...you've been walloped, sweetie

Skated for a couple of hours and now I have a bunch to do with the book business. I wish I could just skate and skate, all day. My skates are mint-green with metallic silver laces, wheels that light up when they spin, and a little silver disco ball hanging from my right boot. At night I dream that I'm skating. I love it. But it's another 100+ day. I think this coming week-end is predicted to cool down some.

Besides that I'm feeling pretty depressed...and tired of feeling unwell.

Love all around

Think of all the exercise you're getting. 😊.

No news on my dad today.

I got a call from my primary doctor's office today. She said that my insurance is going to pay for the Wegovy! Great news, right? Wrong. Nobody carries it. I called all my usual pharmacies and a few others and nobody has it and one of them said that the only doses being manufactured right now are two of the higher doses. So I wrote a portal message to my doctor asking if we can try Saxenda which my friend just started and is daily instead of weekly and is in stock! At least it was at one of the local pharmacies. I hate to sound ungrateful that my Dr got the insurance to pay for Wegovy but if it's not available it's not available.

I already have a long list of referrals waiting for me at work. It’s getting real yall. I’ll
Be seeing clients for part of my week and doing WRAP peer group for two different offices.

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Originally Posted by Nammu I’m now all ready for the birthday girls tomorrow. My daughter and granddaughter have the same birthday 🥳. Picked up the cake and decorations along with lemonade and milk. There’s just going to be 7 of us as they had the party on Saturday when the kids could all go. I hear it was chaos! 15 5 year olds and 3 9 year olds! But everyone had a good time. Tomorrow is just for the grandparents really! Got purple glasses, napkins and pale blue plates with flowers on them. The cake is chocolate with chocolate frosting and rainbow colored balloons. Today was only supposed to get to 80, but boy it felt hot 🥵 like many of you I can’t handle the heat. Turned the AC on. I can’t imagine living in Texas anymore. I was a hermit in the summer time down there. Has anybody seen the new summer movies. I missed Downton, and Dr Strange but hope to see the dinosaurs! And truth be told Lightyear sounds fun 🤩 but until I get my car back it’s no movies for me. But one way or another I’m seeing Avatar in the theater when it finally gets out!

Oh, wow! The party sounds like paradise

I'm considering seeing Elvis (the movie). Might be interesting. Seems it has a Southern Gothic feel to it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 Think of all the exercise you're getting. 😊.

Yeah, it feels fabulous!

I feel like I am jumping out of my skin. My guess is that it's because my last session with Dr. B. is tomorrow. I really hate this. I am sooo tired of these people having so much power over my life. I'm tired of therapists, I'm so damn tired of medication and having it compromise my physical abilities.

wildflowerchild - how'd it go today?

MuddyBoots, how're you doing?

Mm, haven't seen you around for days.

otroo, how're you feeling?