Bipolar check-in #67

Dad Update

Things are going in the right direction. Dad is being nice to my sister, R, and he's even said how appreciative he is for everything R has and is doing for him.

Turns out Dad can afford a a certain nice assisted living facility and they have them all over the country. The plan is for Dad to work hard in rehab for 2 or 3 weeks. Then move him to California a short drive from where my sister and family live. So by August he should be settled in his new home! His condo will need sold but he can afford this place without touching his savings for a while. And they're not sure what level of care he will need yet- the price gets very expensive if you need round the clock care, of course. He has no clothes at this point as someone- maybe his ex girlfriend who has been a lot of help to my sister- got rid of all his clothes. The condo is back in order and ready to be sold. So by August he should be all moved in in California. It's just a LOT for my sister to do. His direct deposits will need moved as there isn't a branch of his bank in California.

R said she feels like she doesn't know what she's doing and is a little overwhelmed. She likened it to when she had her twins- her first pregnancy. There's just so much to do and you're learning as you go.

All of this is positive! My dad said he will try his best in rehab. I think living near my sister and family will really help. Plus he gets 3 squares a day that he can choose what he wants every day from a menu. R can visit him several times a week. A doctor said that with the shape my dad's lungs are in he gives him another 5 years but he also said that he could rally and live another 20! I hope this is the beginning of many more years for my dad that are HAPPY ones!

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Hey Beth! You might not see this, but i happened across your reply after forgetting about my post for a few days. I wanted to write this.

I believe i was on 150mg and it took me about 4 months to wean off. Im guessing, because i forgot the exact date i started to wean off. I've been more concerned with how long i was on the Zoloft to gain all that weight. Im glad it's coming off now, but I've got back the anxiety and depression. Weight is an issue for me though, so i dont know if ill ever go back on mental health medications. :/

I'm sorry I left suddenly without telling anyone. I probably won't be very active for a bit.

Well, THAT was interesting. I fell asleep about midnight which is extremely good for me. I woke to loud thunder. Storms were not predicted for overnight here. We were supposed to have a storm this morning and we had thunder and lightning that were very close but no rain at all. Weird. So anyway, this unexpected storm hit and I knew I had to close windows.

The house windows are closed because I have air on but the sunroom was all open. They have these windows my sister swears are easy and I either get right immediately or fight for 10 minutes to get the pieces to slide over each other to close (it's hard to explain. There are 4 rectangles that slide up and down so you can customize how much air is coming in. It took me 43 minutes to do that.

All the while I was on the sun porch the storm was raging around me. I kept wanting to duck when the lightning hit.

It was quite a storm. I feel like I experienced it from within, like a tornado watcher for a day.

Now I have to get the adrenaline to go down. I probably should take a PRN but that messes with me when the dog needs out in the morning.

This has certainly been an eventful week. 4 nights, 4.5 days to go

I woke up early with my heart pounding and a migraine. Must have been some dream. I physically don’t feel well (migraine included) and that’s pulling down my mental status. My doctor wants me to take a COVID test (why?) and my family is nagging me to do it. I still have some symptoms after 21 days but it won’t show positive now. Okay. Just so glad I was on a strong antibiotic the whole time for something else. I think that really helped things not get worse than they did.

I googled counselors who specialize in grief and loss in my town. I contacted a few for call backs. I’m going to switch. Not only is my current therapist not helping me but she keeps making comments that my brother is no longer here because of the choices he made (and that’s a milder comment). It was his choice and responsibility. Not helpful at all to me.

I’m going to try to rally and be productive today while helping mom feel better. She’s doing poorly today as well. It will just take time I know. It helps checking in here. Tremendously.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

2 months ago I fell hard on my knees.

They have healed a lot but in other ways

have not and still bother me. I made an

appointment to see my primary MD for this week.
I wonder if I have a torn ligament in my left knee?
When I work I get down on my hands and knees.
I put the most pressure in the position to
my right knee. and spare the pain to my left one.
I know that is hard to explain sorry.
I wonder if a cat scan can show ligaments?
I will ask her for one if it does show up.
Don't think an ex-ray would show anything besides bones.
The chiropractor nurse practitioner, that I went to said it was bursitis.
will see.
bizi

I’m still being affected by my dream. It was a hospital one. After all this time, still. This time I was in a hospital but stable, but they wouldn’t let me out. They were observing me and waiting for me to become unstable. Then I did, become unstable. I think that’s my fear haunting me.

The cat has killed a bird. Which I now have to clean up. I'm hoping she'll do it herself but am fairly sure I have to shovel it up and dispose of it. Anxious and dreading this. This is why I have an indoor cat; I'm not up for cleaning up dead things all the time.