Bipolar check-in #70

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Originally Posted by Nammu Well writing it out does seem to have magical effect, my stomach issues are mostly resolved. I’m still tender and I haven’t tried eating yet though. I’ve not had my chai or daily Pepsi for three days now and really craving those but no, water is all. I ate something Saturday I think gave me food poisoning. It’s now Tuesday and I’m finally feeling better. But Sunday was scary, so much blood. Feeling much better today. Thank goodness 😅

Oh, wonderful! Thank you, Nammu, for checking in. Whew. Sounds like you're on the mend, alright. I've had food poisoning twice in my life and it is no joke, at all. All good news. Stick to that pared-down diet - and rest

I'm finally meeting my new GP today (and I got lots of sleep last night). I have high hopes. My last GP, who I stuck with for over 5 years, was such a cold person. Unhappy. She spoke often of being displeased with her job and that always felt awkward. I'm so glad to be done with her. The new GP, I saw his picture at the clinic and he looks like an intelligent, kindly man.

x fingers crossed x

I'll be wearing leggings, a warm shirt, socks, and boots today! I may even sneak in my fingerless wool gloves. Oh, the joy

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That outfit sounds fantastic. A perfect fall outfit.

Well, I talked with my boss. I failed all the COVID eval questions, which I pretty well expected. My congestion is coming down though, but I still have one round of the antivirals left and I sound very much like I have a sore throat, though I don't feel like I have one.

Good news: Friday, barring any symptoms, I can just clock back in and get back to work! Also, I can attend my big show after work.

I was able to buy a new (to me) jacket this morning. All my others were casualties of the busted water pipes earler this year, and this morning was the breaking point. I masked up and found my way to a consignment store. The clerk there took pity on me and charged $5 for the jacket and heavy flannel shirt I selected. 50% off that was much appreciated given my limited income at the moment. She even had some excellent shoes that she tried to sell me. I want them, but another time I hope.

Fingers/paws crossed re the new GP

The outfit sounds good

I'm still feeling sick but its not an emergency. I just need to get into see my doctor which I will at 8:30 in the morning. I didn't eat after the mcrib so I'm not sure if it even counts as emotional eating. I took just over an hour long nap from 11 something until 12:30 or so until a coughing fit woke me up. I've been coughing since. I feel like the boy in the plastic bubble. That bizzare made for TV movie from the 70's.

I almost had a panic attack because of a hot flash. This is the second night I've had to sleep in my boxers. Thankfully I don't sleepwalk anymore although these are like biker shorts so if I were caught in them it wouldnt be that bad

Saw my new psych NP today, she was really nice. She didn’t try to tell me I didn’t really have bipolar. She listened to my concerns about haldol and for now I’m going to go down to 2mg haldol to see if that reduces symptoms but still keeps paranoia at bay. I’ll see her again in a month and if I’m still having trouble we will try something else.

I don’t feel well tonight though. Three more students went down in class and I’m hoping I’m not getting it!

Well I’m quitting my job tomorrow. I simply can not physically do the job. My pain level is horrible.

Im feeling very defeated.

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I was simply amazed that you could do 5 hours much less 8! I’m sorry.

I'm so sorry. I think it's important to remember you tried and it was something very difficult you tried. I couldn't have tried and I don't have pain issues. I hope your body settles down rapidly. I'll send a message when I'm not drugged and you know you can always "talk" to me.

I’m so sorry hon. I agree with beyond, you tried and with all your challenges just trying is enough in my book. I know you need the extra income but you’re just not physically able to do physical work and that’s ok.

@*Beth* thank you for your support about the haldol. I’m glad it has finally cooled down enough for you to wear a nice fall outfit! Good luck with the new GP. The old one sounds like a negative Nancy.

Still not 100% so I skipped aqua fitness this morning as I didn’t want any embarrassing incidents. That’s it for the week as I no longer go on Fridays due to the weird instructor. By next week everything should be hunky dory.

I had an active night, I woke up with my sheets and blankets wrapped around my neck! I know I woke up several times but had no problems getting back to sleep. The only dream I remember very well was working at a dog rescue center. Being in a little room with a tiny bed and hearing something fall in the office. The lady in the office had a giant tent on the ceiling and it came down. I was expected to testify but didn’t want to because I thought she was a great leader of the shelter. Weirdness! But cool.

I'm not sure if it was the flu shot but I slept from about 6PM until 5:30 and I struggled getting out of bed. I had an 8:30 doctors appointment and finally right before 7 I just pulled myself out of bed and got into the shower. My appointment went fine. He said my level is ok he said they have 2 ways of testing it. A bunch of doctor jargon. But he did lower the dose a bit. He said basically what I'm feeling is nutrirtion related and lack of protein. Which is what everyone is telling me. He says I need more protein and if I can't eat enough then I need to drink protein shakes. After that I had zoom therapy. I was really honest with her about my eating habits and my liking of the self control part and the constant body checking and stuff like that. We had a good session. She seemed super tired the entire time. After that I got a text from my last therapy practice saying I had an unpaid balance. I found a voicemail from them a couple weeks ago from November saying the same thing. I last saw this therapist in September 2021. She was incredibly transphobic and dropped me as a client because she was a bigot. Yeah, I'm gonna call them and let them really have it. She thinks she was done with me over a year ago. Guess she's in for a suprise. My mom went to walmart to do some shopping and to get some protein drinks and bars and snacks for me. Also some tuna and some little cups of Rice A Roni. My body is confusing me right now.

Your dreams are always so funny nammu! I’m glad you’re feeling better though. That must have been terrible!

MD I just have to chime in, what’s wrong is more than just protein problems, you eat only soda, candy and highly highly processed food without any nutritional value. It’s no surprise you’re sick. I’d suggest a high potency multi vitamin and to read up on healthy foods.

I went to the ortho for my hand and he confirmed carpal tunnel syndrome. He recommended surgery but it’s not as involved as I thought and only has a 2-3 week recovery time. So I don’t have to be out from my job for months, which is good. I might even just get away with a week if I leave all the “heavy lifting” (aka wrestling with kids) to my coworkers for a couple of weeks. They won’t mind. But it’s not until the new year anyway so I don’t have to worry about it. I just really have to push myself to go to work between now and then so I don’t accrue too many more absences.

I’m still feeling a bit unwell today with stomach issues and a dull headache. I could have taken a half day but since I didn’t feel well when I woke up I changed it to a full day. If it is the bug going around I got off easy so far. I did wear a mask everywhere today though. Just in case.

I feel better about the haldol side effects because I’m confident that I was heard and they will be addressed properly. Obviously I’ve only been on the reduced dose one night so I haven’t seen any improvement but I’m hoping I will and if I don’t I have more trust that this psych NP will guide me in the right direction.

Wow wildflowerchild25 surgery for carpal tunnel has improved a lot. My mum and both sisters had it. Funny me with ASL hasn’t had it! But that sounds like a good plan. We’re only two 1/2 months away from the new year, hang in there.

Yeah I know. I'm working on it in therapy or trying to. I also realize a lot of my meds need to be eaten with food which may also be one of my issues. As my therapist said its not as easy as "just eating." I get I have a problem. My endocronlogist is now aware of the eating disorder so I'm guessing all my medical doctors will know now too.

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Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 Saw my new psych NP today, she was really nice. She didn’t try to tell me I didn’t really have bipolar. She listened to my concerns about haldol and for now I’m going to go down to 2mg haldol to see if that reduces symptoms but still keeps paranoia at bay. I’ll see her again in a month and if I’m still having trouble we will try something else. I don’t feel well tonight though. Three more students went down in class and I’m hoping I’m not getting it!

I am so hoping that the low Haldol dose works out for you, wfc.
AND I hope you're not sick!


Oh, whoops- just saw your next post. Nammu is correct, from what I've heard...ct surgery is much, much less intrusive than it has ever been in past times.

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Originally Posted by Fuzzybear ((((( hugs )))))) Bizi Beth, I too wish you had a nicer husband (does he like bears? )

I LOVE your question, it makes me giggle! I have to ask him about bears! I do believe that he has knowledge of the types of bears in this region, so I will pass what he says along to you

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Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Sooo beautiful, what a picture. I wish I had a printer to print this out and hang on my wall. It very much reminds me of the nature not terribly far from where I live.

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Originally Posted by ~Christina Well I’m quitting my job tomorrow. I simply can not physically do the job. My pain level is horrible. Im feeling very defeated.

You got my message and I meant what I wrote, Christina. I'm not just sugar-coating. You must, must take care of your mind and body. I fully understand the struggle with money. It gets crazy. I do believe that having your daughter help you apply for a job that better accommodates your well-being is the way to go. If you absolutely must work, at all.