Bipolar Check-In #76

All the er would do for reflux is give you some Pepcid .

Its not refulx its severe stomach pain and nausea. But I think some more tylenol and some pepto bismol has finally made it mangeable.

I got up relatively early today and ended up sleeping on the sofa for about an hour, after I had 2 coffees. I find it very strange that I can sleep like that after coffee, this is probably the 10th time that has happened!

I did some work around the house today. A lot of little things and one big thing outside. My wife was pleased that things were done, so as they say, happy wife, happy life!

I like the Luna Moth. BF (hugs)

From the 1st page. BF

I'm sorry for my last two posts not being on the right subject. I just came from a different forum, and was a little confused. Brokenfriend

Short and sweet right now. Heading into work hoping there's much less shenanigans today. Had a customer yesterday who had major "Karen" energy. Working with a phone that crapped out in the middle of the transfer process. No one's fault, mine or hers. It just happened. I explained the situation which was essentially you have service, but the phone decided to show its faults at a very inopportune time and made my recommendation. She refused to take my recommendation, accused me lying to her and withholding information and threatened legal action, promised to complain, said she'd have my job, blah blah blah.

I don't think anything will happen, but just in case her stink blows upwind, I let the necessary people know just in case. We were of a mind on nothing happening, but they thanked me for letting them know.

I ate healthy today, just by whim, so i guess my formal diet wasn't a waste. I've developed some good habits. I enjoyed eating healthy today because i did not keep my spreadsheet. It made quite a difference. I finished off the tub of leafy greens which i almost never do. It usually goes bad while i nosh on chips and pop.

I got bored of exercising-thru-chores and we got some new equipment in the gym so i took a treadmill for a spin. I didn't go fast, and i didn't go far, but i did work up a droplet of sweat, which i like to see. It was nice to get out of the apartment. We have a really pretty gym here in the building.

I changed a lightbulb and my kitchen is now all nice and lit-up again. I was making do with the light on my range hood, which isn't really enough. I took a shower, too. I did the dishes twice. Got to celebrate the small successes!

The lesson from Tart Cherry Jam in blood glucose management was new to me so i decided it's time to update my ideas about weight loss. So i signed up for an educational series at the hospital. Who knows, i might meet someone!

The movie on Tuesday was good. It was a beautiful day so the drive over to the theater was nice. Even though the interstate was down to one lane traffic was smooth.

Today I received my lantern from the Red Cross, it’s a reward for x number of gallons of blood. It will be great if the lights ever go off. Very bright. I also finally received a gift I ordered months ago.

I also got free funnel cake from my sister. She and her hubby went to the fair and they both won raffles. So they bought me a powered sugar funnel cake.

I only made it to the dmv to buy tags for my car and the library to return a book and get two more. I had thought of going to the fair but decided against it. Pretty much a low week. I didn’t go to 500 yesterday and I didn’t go to the fair today. Just ehh. Not depressed just no get up and go. Didn’t go to poker night either. Just not feeling up to mingling. The movies required no mingling, just a long drive.

This Vraylar is kicking in and is really helping me out. Two things I’m doing are interfering with that and I need to stop. One, I watch the news religiously and lately it is bringing me down. Second, I escape to TikTok when I’m down and it’s just not helpful. Sure, some of it is funny and inspirational but there are too many Karens, meltdowns, road rages and people behaving badly in general. It’s depressing me and skewing my perception of humanity. I’m going to slowly back away from those two things. I have a new bible study coming up Wednesday and that should help (346 women now) and I’ll be doing another live study with Eckhart Tolle this fall. That should help as well.

Looking forward to floating and a pedicure tomorrow.

I hope everyone has a peaceful evening.

Ugh I feel soooo sick right now. I have been having diarrhea like crazy for a few hours, and my stomach pain is insane. We got Little Cesars for dinner and I had some which was a big mistake. I finally took 4 pepto bismol tablets and 2 tylenol 20 minutes ago and I'm sitting up in bed waiting for it to pass. I've been drinking water but it just keeps going through me.

My temp is 96.1. I'm wondering. If I should go to the ER. The tylenol isnt working.

I keep having diarrhea and I can't sleep because I need to use the bathroom every 5 minutes. All l I've had is water for about 7 hours. And I am so thirsty.

I need to eat like cream of wheat and rice krispies and grits or some syht instead of pizza.

Yesterday, I saw my psychiatrist. We are both happy with the improvements that have happened since I started risperidone at the end of July. There are a few times racing thoughts have started to kick in, making me worry I was going to have to up my dose of risperidone, but coping mechanisms seemed to keep them at bay. We also had a really good talk about, if I end up having kids one day, what treatment might possible look like through pregnancy and in the postpartum phase. We also talked about the risks of my child being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He of course can't give me specific answers, but having this conversation with him puts me in a much better spot to talk with my boyfriend about the risks of me becoming pregnant, including possible psychosis, would be if we ever find ourself married and with kids. My psychiatrist saying, if I would become pregnant while I am his patient, he would be happy to help me through it was also very comforting.

Being back at school, getting settled with my new students, is going well. Next week will be our first full week of school so I am sure personalities will start to come out more then than they already are. I was also able to get together with a group of friends tonight, one of whom is from out of state, so that was nice! All in all, these past couple of days have been pretty great! I'm so grateful for having a sense of stability right now.

After having such a crap week at work … I am sooo happy that i just managed to purchase Monster Jam Truck Show tickets because we’ve been trying to get tickets for weeks without success - event sold out and my 4 year old son REALLY wants to go. I joined a wait list on a website. Phew! Roll on Sunday 27 August. My son will be so happy. About the only thing I got right in a long time!

Oh, my, @JaneOnceMore! I was speed reading through the posts I'd missed, and I was fine until I read yours. I thought you were going to eat saliva rather that salvia. I was thinking saliva is free, so why would you pay buy it.

I was wondering what grade you teach, @June08. I taught 11th and 12th graders. I'm glad your transition back to school is going relatively well.

You sure keep busy, @Nammu! That's a good thing. Sitting around the apartment thinking is probably the worst thing you can do.

I wonder if eating few fruits has its roots back in the bad old days of communism, @Soupe du jour. I know when East Germans crossed into Berlin, one of the things in the care packages the Wessis gave away was bananas. They were so tightly rationed in the east that some East Germans had never tried one.

Welcome to the boards, @Brokenfriend. Don't worry so much about what you post. On the whole, we're very understanding people.

My NP restructured my meds, and things seem to be turning around. The past two days have been mighty fine where sleep is concerned. I actually got 5 hours sleep! Going weeks with 2-3 hour of sleep was messing with my psyche. We'll hope this continues.

Most fruit was hard to get back in those days, for Czechs, except some extra available around Christmas and New Years. It was especially hard for those who lived in cities without any link to the countryside. What might have been available was quickly sold out. Often people had to bribe the "Fruits & Vegetables" salespeople for things. When something really good was available, there would long lines of people for them.

Back then, there was obviously not the supply of out of season fruit that there is now. There wasn't in the US, either, but surely not in communist countries. Also, culturally, Czechs have always been "meat and potatoes (or dumplings)" people. Meat, starchy sides, cream sauces, plenty of butter or lard, and cabbage in the form of sauerkraut. My husband said there was never a shortage of the latter.

Things are obviously different now. Almost every fruit and vegetable can be found here. Maybe not okra. They do import most all of the citrus options, but the limes are just the regular types. No key limes can be found here.

Whoa was I cranky yesterday about everything ! I hate when I feel like that it’s exhausting

Today is better Thankfully

Hope everyone is staying cool. Seems like the summer is dragging on very slowly for me.

Hugs !

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^ I get cranky often too. My girlfriend has different names for me based on my mood, hah, it's cute and often she's more in tune to it than me.

I had a phone screening for a position at a non-profit that supports a great cause - please keep me in your thoughts! I know we don't know each other well, and I'm not certain I'd be the best fit, but I do know I have the drive and desire to be a voice for the voiceless.

Whoa, it is muggy out there! I had to run some errands. Get cards, weekend food and pick up a prescription. Oof ta. The temperature isn’t that bad but man o man, the humidity. My head is drenched. Even though I’ve cut my hair short it’s dark and heavy. Just the walk from the car to store!

Yeah Christina, being cranky is exhausting yet somehow some people thrive on calling out others.

I found the perfect card to send to a friend who is dying, but I’m stumped for what to write. They gave her 6 weeks, 6 weeks ago. Guess I’ll google it and see if I can find some ideas. Really makes you appreciate things.

Jinx! And Nammu less may be more, just my initial thought

Sending you vibes that it will be a great fit.

Your vibes worked I literally just got the video interview off a phone call right now. Thank you.

Wow! Good luck!

RS has decided not to take the job at the turnpike. His friend complained about the BS that goes on there and RS decided it didn’t seem like a good environment. I support him, his main worry was that his current job would shut down in 5-10 years but his boss has assured him that the community could never afford to get rid of them. I must say, I am happy that he will be keeping the same hours. I was a bit upset at the prospect of him having to work a lot of overtime. Yes, it would be helpful financially but I do miss him when he’s not here.

I’m very excited because I made the final payment on a medical bill I’ve been slowly paying off for two years, and the final payment on my dental bill will be made in October! That’s it! No more medical bills! That’s $500 extra dollars in my pocket a month. I will be able to afford a new car when mine finally dies a noble death. I have 144k mikes on my car so I expect I’ll get another year out of it, maybe two. I might trade it in sooner while used car values are still high but we’ll see.

My mom is possibly coming over Monday so I can get her settled with social security and medical insurance. She “doesn’t know” if she has COBRA coverage after quitting her job but I asked my grandma if she ever signed up for it or paid for it and gma said no. So then she doesn’t have it, of course! Sometimes I just have to shake my head at my mom. She’s like a child in a grown woman’s body. Can’t take care of anything. She didn’t get her car inspected for three years (RS brought it for her last week) and hasn’t filed taxes in three years either, even though I TOLD her just to bring her things to H&R Block. You don’t even have to stay while they do it! So I suppose I’ll be in charge of getting her to file her taxes next year too. It really is like dealing with a child. I understand anxiety but I’ll never understand utter dependence on everyone else to manage your life. I guess because I am 100% opposite, hyper independent about everything. That’s because I had to be! Obviously mom didn’t do anything for me. But I’m over it. I’ve accepted that this is just how she is and she’ll always need help. Oh well.

I’m doing well but expect a mood dip next week as i am approaching PMS territory. Some days I wonder if I should get back on birth control to help the awful depression I get during that time but idk. Then I have to go to the dr and I hate drs.

I’ve started reading Harry Potter again. I have so many books to read but I always get drawn back in to Harry Potter!

WildFlowerChild, congratulations on making progress with your bills! It's really a joy to have one's finances under control. Such a feeling of power!

I didn't get to sleep until about 1AM because of my stomach issues. Today I haven't been feeling that great but I'm feeling better now. I cancelled therapy an hour before and I felt so bad I kept apologizing in my email and saying she could still charge me and stuff and this was just super bad stuff I was dealing with. She understood and was really nice. I mean, I did give her a 45 minute break anyways.

My mom was at the store this morning and picked me up some stuff I can eat. Soup and Cheerios, and cream of wheat, and grits and other stuff.

My Carhartt jacket came today. I ordererd it the other day used from Amazon. Normally they are $109 but I bought this one used in very good condtion for $60. I expected a used one but it is brand new. It still has all the tags. It says made in the USA and not in China like the knock offs. It fits great. I for sure got it for a steal.

I feel like everyone kinda talks all the time about the same issues that they are dealing with.