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  #851  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 04:58 PM
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@Blueberrybook

Oh I see. That sucks. I don't see why just 25mg prn is adding that much more. I take 300mg scheduled and 100mg prn, but end up taking the prn everyday, especially as of late because I'm stressed out.

Get on your hands and knees and BEG him! I would. Lol.
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  #852  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 05:00 PM
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Since adding the 25mg of seroquel back into my med box I’ve been getting the sleep I need. Today I was up after 8 hours of sleep but went back to bed after just two hours and didn’t get up until 2pm. It was glorious. For my breakfast at 3 pm I had a sweet potato and ham. I’m still not very sociable yet. Preferring to just watch tv or read to getting together with people. But I believe that will improve as I settle into a better sleep routine. I can’t believe I forgot to put the seroquel in my box! I honestly thought the med had pooped out already. Just three days now and what a difference. Sleep is so important.
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  #853  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 05:07 PM
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2 more hours till I can take my night meds then hopefully an hour or two after that I can fall asleep. Every little noise is making me paranoid while at the same time making me feel irrationally angry
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Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #854  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 05:11 PM
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The owner of the cottage accepted us staying there over Christmas! It’s a 5 minute walk to a swimming beach and a 5 minute drive to the next town that has all amenities. We’re allowed pets too so we’re taking our Labrador. It’s so perfect! 🤩
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  #855  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 05:12 PM
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@Blueberrybook

Hi! Sorry to bother you again, but clonazepam was making you forgetful? Have you tried any other benzos? Clonazepam turned me into a moron. So did alprazolam. I take diazepam now however - 30mg a day scheduled - and it hasn't affected my cognitive functions at all. I wanted my old psychiatrist to wean me off it because I knew I was going to get some ignoramus psychiatrist in the future who would take me off it in like a month or something, but he said no. He said my anxiety was severe and that I needed to be on a benzo.

Anyway, so maybe a different benzo wouldn't make you forgetful? Something to bring up at your appointment too?
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous

The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
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  #856  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 05:16 PM
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Originally Posted by raspberrytorte View Post
@Blueberrybook

Oh I see. That sucks. I don't see why just 25mg prn is adding that much more. I take 300mg scheduled and 100mg prn, but end up taking the prn everyday, especially as of late because I'm stressed out.

Get on your hands and knees and BEG him! I would. Lol.
I don't see why he won't prescribe it again either. He prescribed it before but that was as I weaning off clonazepam, and at some point he stopped it, and I must have been at a point of having fewer panic attacks and less anxiety at the time. I have taken 400 mg Seroquel in the past though it was a previous pdoc who prescribed it. I dragged a bit more in the AM since that was all a night dose, but I'd take dragging a bit to panic attacks any day.
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Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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  #857  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 05:16 PM
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I was on such a good routine with sleep for awhile. Idk how this happened. I didn’t even skip my meds which is what usually causes this , I took them. I promised myself I would never pull an all nighter again, it wasn’t really intentional though I just couldn’t calm down enough to sleep, I was feeling good and hyped up. I know it’s just one night but an entire 36 hours without sleep sucks and is so destabilizing mentally.
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #858  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 05:18 PM
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@Blue_Bird
I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight. Not sleeping is miserable.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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  #859  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 06:07 PM
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Thanks everyone for your condolences. We're holding the funeral on Monday.

I'm sleeping 2-3 hours a night. This is becoming too much! I'm stopping the Rexulti. I'm really stressed because of everything and lack of sleep.

Just taking things one at a time.
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  #860  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 06:37 PM
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Another quiet day. I watched a comedy special and just chuckled a few times. I guess i'm finding it hard to laugh. Not much energy or hope.

Last edited by JaneOnceMore; Nov 02, 2024 at 07:36 PM.
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  #861  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 07:07 PM
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ughim so over homework. i just did like 6 hours of homewokr. i had t watch a disney film as 2 hours of it. encanto. was cute. we had to analyze the family for family systems.

now im tiiiiiired!!!
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  #862  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 07:38 PM
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I just got my highest score in Scrabble GO ever 579! The day was redeemed! I really tried hard and got the plays.
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  #863  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 08:27 PM
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I'm restless and can't concentrate. I feel like texting my angry, scary mother and just confronting her and finally asking her why she dislikes my husband so much. We've been together since 2001. At my appointment my therapist couldn't understand why my mom couldn't just be happy for me because I have a husband who has stuck by me all these years and we obviously love each other very much, and we have a wonderful daughter together.

I just want to know WHY. My mother makes me so... INFURIATED.

She wants to go to Daughter's orchestra concert in January, but I'm not inviting her because my daughter doesn't want her to come.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous

The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
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  #864  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 08:29 PM
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As I type this, it's raining outside! The sound is the perfect background noise for me while I catch up on posts. It sounds like it's a pretty good downpour out there.

The last two days have been okay. Work really knocked me out POTs wise yesterday so I was in bed at 7 pm, fell asleep around 8:30 pm or 9:00 pmm and didn't get up until around 9:30 am this morning. It helped enough where I was able to get some stuff done today, so that's good. It's clear the snowbirds are back because traffic has been heavier again when I'm out and about.

My mood was a little off for some of today, mainly because I had a couple of scary things happen back to back while I was running errands so that through me off for a bit. But, getting out for a walk and getting some grading done has helped me feel a little better. It's about 6:30 pm here-outside of maybe folding laundry, I plan on relaxing for the rest of the night.

I'm looking into volunteering for my local chapter of the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention. I don't know a ton about them, but signed up for a Volunteers 101 zoom session they have later this month to see if it's something I'd like to do/would be able to get involved with.
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  #865  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 08:40 PM
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She ate, drank, when outside, took her medicine 2x, got on my bed twice, got on the couch several times, peed on it, went through the trash, even squished her ball some. I'm so happy! Yesterday she was just laying and crying today she's great.

Now do I take the captyla that I just got?
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  #866  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 08:42 PM
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For at least a week my tongue has been numb. I thought maybe it was a new brand of flouride from the dentist or some weird thing from the high clozaril levels. Turns out it's probably the clozaril and I've been rubbing my tongue on the roof of my mouth and my top teeth unconsciously. Better than having it visible that I'm doing this but not good. I'm becoming scared I'm going to wind up IP for a med transition. I can't imagine going off clozaril because it really does work for me but keeping the level right is challenging.


I guess I'll know Monday when I talk to my pdoc.
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  #867  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 09:14 PM
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@HALLIEBETH87 my therapist used to teach counseling and he used Everyone Loves Raymond for family systems.


Encanto is really cute.
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Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily
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  #868  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 10:42 PM
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@Victoria'smom I think you should take the Caplyta. You need a med of some kind and hopefully this will work. You've been without meds for too long and you need to feel better.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily
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  #869  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 11:07 PM
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@Victoria'smom

I agree with BeyondtheRainbow. Take the med.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous

The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
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  #870  
Old Nov 02, 2024, 11:32 PM
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Damn it. I'm too freaked out to sleep, even after taking my night meds 🌙, which I took at 9PM! My head fcking hurts. I know it's stupid of me to be wasting so much energy freaking out about this. I voted. What else can I really do? Nothing.

Im so tempted to text my mom. Right now.

No. DO NOT TEXT YOUR MOM, RASPBERRY. That would be a very bad idea!
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous

The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
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  #871  
Old Nov 03, 2024, 04:56 AM
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I can't sleep and have stress chest pains, so I took a melatonin and a seroquel, but that was an hour ago and I'm still not sleepy! In fact, I've never felt more awake in my life. I feel like I just took a steroid or something, instead of a seroquel and a melatonin! I'm listening to the new Cure album (which is quite good by the way) trying to calm down.

I think I'm going to just lay here in the dark for a while. It's raining outside and nice and toasty warm in our bedroom and I can't really concentrate or calm down enough to do anything productive anyway. I want to write. I'm feeling the creative urge. ✨️ Which is great! Means I'm on an upswing.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous

The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
Hugs from:
BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, JaneOnceMore, June08, Nammu
  #872  
Old Nov 03, 2024, 07:43 AM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow View Post
@HALLIEBETH87 my therapist used to teach counseling and he used Everyone Loves Raymond for family systems.


Encanto is really cute.
Cool! For my example I used Roseanne lol the doesn’t matter clip. It’s so funny
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  #873  
Old Nov 03, 2024, 08:54 AM
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  #874  
Old Nov 03, 2024, 11:26 AM
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@raspberrytorte - I was on alprazolam for awhile, and that really helped, got taken off it, don't know why and started on clonazepam. I haven't tried any other benzos. I am going to beg pdoc for something at my next appt. Maybe at a lower dose, I wouldn't be so forgetful on clonazepam. I had been up to 4 mg a day when the forgetfulness got bad.

@BeyondtheRainbow I have that thing with my tongue too, constantly moving it in my mouth or if I stick it out. Fortunately for me it's not so bad it makes my tongue numb. In my case, the Seroquel causes it. When I've been off Seroquel, it goes away.

I'm doing okay this morning but I've had 3 panic attacks already today Some of it is this election. I mean, I'm worrying about it even when I'm trying to fall asleep! I've even dreamed about it though fortunately I dreamed Harris won. And I just have a lot of holiday stuff coming up - an early Thanksgiving with my extended family, Thanksgiving day with the family of one of my daughter's friends, my daughter's birthday, Christmas with my extended family, going to see Christmas lights with my daughter's friend's family, Christmas Day, and the anniversary of that sexual assault, not to mention ending up in the psych hospital this time of year the past 2 years in a row. It's overwhelming.

I tried to relax by doing a gentle pilates video, and it helped while I was doing it, but the effect wore off pretty quickly. I wish I could get this anxiety under control!
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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  #875  
Old Nov 03, 2024, 11:35 AM
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Anxiety really is a bytch. I'm not a big fan of the holidays either. I would be, if I could just spend it with my husband and daughter and not extended family. I find it overwhelming, with my young niece and nephew and their two loud dogs, and my husband's mom's house is kind of small, and I'm naturally a introvert, so it's really draining for me having to be so social. I usually end up leaving early.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous

The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
Hugs from:
BeyondtheRainbow, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, June08, Nammu
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