Bipolar Check-in #85

Today went fast. And, I'd call it a very normal day. Outside of a short period of time when I felt manic symptoms trying to push through, I felt stable. The event I had today was nice, I got a walk in, and I worked on my resume a bit. Tomorrow, I have plans with a friend. After tomorrow, I won't be able to see her for a couple of months so I'm grateful to be able to see her before she's gone for a bit.

Because I'm still experiencing some manic symptoms, I'm taking a higher dose of seroquel tonight. I'll take 25 mg for a couple of nights and then try to go without it to see if it can truly be a PRN or if I need to ask my pdoc if it can be a permanent med of mine. I really hope it can stay a PRN because it would be nice to have an in case of emergencies option.

My whole body has been hurting. This is the third day. Seeing the dr tomorrow morning.

I just applied to my 4th job. All this sitting around all day is driving me crazy. Its the same receving job I have a lot of expierence in. So we'll see how this one goes.

Mood and anxiety wise I'm fine today. My sister and her family are coming over later to celebrate her birthday. I got her some gift cards to Target and Dunkins.

Had a horrible time trying to sleep last night, but no extra meds. That’s too many nights in a row. Plus today is Sunday and I don’t do anything nothing on Sundays except fill my med container and take a shower.

Warmer than it’s been, it’s 68 in here.

Cookies for everyone

My sleep has been good these past couple of nights and my mood is pretty good, happy at times. I've had low anxiety too which has definitely helped things as well.

I've had a pretty good morning so far. It was drizzly out, so I did pilates then had a shower. I had breakfast, used the SAD lamp, and read. I had curbside grocery pickup (WHY is it always raining when I do curbside groceries?!), and I brought everything in and put it away. I chopped onion, diced carrots, sliced mushrooms, and washed potatoes for a stew I plan to start this afternoon. Did a load of laundry, folded & put it away. I drew 3 pictures, the outlines for a 4th (artist mannequin, that thing is HARD to porportion!). All images are in the Creative Corner forum.

After lunch I'm going to read, maybe shade my mannequine (we'll see), and start my stew.

Omg. I am so sick. I feel like I'm dying. My husband wants to take me to urgent care tomorrow morning because that's the only day he can this week, but I think that would be a little premature. Bought some mucinex this morning. I dont know if it's helping or not. Have my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow little after noon and CANNOT cancel it, so hopefully I'm feeling better by tomorrow.

I hate January!

I applied to 2 more jobs. An early morning retail stock job and a grocery stocking job. Idk what else to do if these jobs don't get anywhere. But hopefully my pdoc will get off my back after 6 applications.

I will probably still get in trouble and he will act like I'm making excuses.

Had a horrendous nights sleep 🛌 last night. Woke up every one to two hours. Just couldn’t stay asleep! Was supposed to have a friend come around today but she’s had an allergic reaction to something and landed up in hospital last night so she’s canceled. Completely understandable. I had tidied up my house and brought us lunch. Too much for me to eat on my own so that’s a bummer. I broke a nail last night now they look ridiculous. Gives me an excuse to do them today after I’m dressed I’ll soak my current set off.

Made dinner a couple hours ago ate then took a shower and put on pjs. Cat is saying hi over and over then jumping off the bed. Saw N3 for two hours. Walked over a mile to and from downtown and his apartment. Boy will he get exercise! His apartment is tiny but he and his girlfriend won’t see each other most of the day because of homework and classes.

Did everything I had to do for the day. My med container refills, ordered those I was low on and took a shower. About to have some Mac and cheese and start the new shows on pbs.

I'm most definitely still manic (hypomanic?). I've been super restless today, have struggled to focus on things, my mind is going a million miles an hour, have had a ton of energy, and have wanted to constantly be talking to my roommate. I also had a little bit of irritability again today, which had gone away when I first started taking seroquel on Monday. I'll give 25 mg a couple more days and then, if needed, I'll message me pdoc again. I'm not sure what would be the best option-trying a higher dose of seroquel or a higher dose of risperidone.

Today has still been a pretty good day though. I got breakfast with a friend, went to Mass, went for a walk, read a tiny bit, and did a small amount of work. I haven't gotten much work for school done though because of how hard it's been to focus. 30 minutes until I'll take my seroquel and risperidone so, maybe, that will help me focus on reading or something until I go to bed.

I took a shower tonight because I'm covered in some kinda itchy rash. Like those pinpoint ones and I have blotchy red spots under my skin. I know these can be a symptom of what I'm going through with the hematrcrit. I just have to wait like 12 or so hours until I see the doctor.

And I have a couple canker sores in my mouth but I just went to the dentist?

I haven't heard back yet from any jobs, but dinner with my sister went well and I think she can see I'm really improving.

Today is day three that I am home and getting used to living on my own again. It all feels so lonely because I was in a hospital environment for a while and around so many people. Had to leave church early because I forgot to take my meds in the morning. The whole new meds thing is so daunting, I should have never asked to be taken off the Lithium over the summer. I had no idea how detrimental it turned out to be. Lesson learned.

So, h is going away for a week. I have to pack more and use my coping skills. V is grieving, New medicine brings up wonderful things to talk about with therapy.

Good morning. Somewhat busy day ahead. Gotta go to the SSA office to turn in some paperwork from my psychiatrist for becoming my own payee. Also gotta clean today as there’s an inspection tomorrow. Gonna draw some too. I slept well 8 1/2 hours

This kinda sucks. We've been on medicaid for the past eight years, and this year we're being dropped because my husband makes too much money, except his work doesn't even offer insurance, so we're trying to figure out how to get our daughter covered. Somehow. I'm covered because I still have Medicare. Healthcare in the United States is just FANTASTIC (yes I'm being sarcastic).

I am never drinking matchas again. I thought it was just the ones from Starbucks made by that one guy. I got so sick after drinking one this morning. I was sick twice at home. Then once in my bucket on the way to the doctors.

The nurse took my blood pressure and it was 139/108 and my pulse was 128. My vision was blurry because I was so lightheaded. She gave me a cup of water and a bag and I got sick twice more.

My doctors appointment itself went fine. I told him about the matcha and thats why I was throwing up. He says I have gasteoparis or however you spell it, according to the tests my GI did. And I need to be on a special diet so he is sending a refferal over to the nutrionist. Everything else is ok. At the end I asked what I should do with my bag and he said "oh, I'll take that." And he just grabbed it with no issue.

Now I'm at home just lying down for a bit. Not for the whole day but getting sick like that especially while out is really physically exhauasting.

Well I got what I needed to get done at the SSA office taken care of. Now I’m just laying here cause I have a really bad migraine

Hope you feel better MD that sounds scary, especially the blurred vision

I've had a good morning. I was able to take a long power walk. I started when it was dark, and the full moon was very bright, just brilliant. Showered, ate breakfast. Read with the SAD lamp for an hour, and my concentration reading was just excellent. Did some shading on my drawings though I'm not too happy with the results. However, I did do a halfway decent drawing of a sneaker. I think I may bake chocolate chip cookies from scratch again this afternoon once the dishwasher finishes so I can load the dirty dishes right into it and not accumulate them in the sink. I am starting to enjoy baking, which is very strange as I don't think I enjoyed it at all once I got out of high school.

My mood has been HAPPY today without being manic! Even H said he could tell I was enjoying things more. Even things I do not enjoy, like folding laundry have not seemed such a pain. It is awesome to feel good!

I was cleaning the kitchen and looked over at the cat and she had a chicken bone in her mouth! I pounced on her so fast! Pinned her down by her neck with my hand and ripped it out of her mouth! Chicken bones can splinter causing serious damage to the intestinal tract!

They’ve changed their matchas at starbucks recently. Instead of the matcha powder itself being sweetened now it’s UNsweetened and they add like 5 pumps of classic syrup. Maybe all that sugar is what you reacted to?

Blueberrybook - its so interesting! I feel like we both looooove that double strip of thin rubber around the toe. Like it magically holds the shoe together or something. You in the way youve drawn it, and me in the way it appeals to me.

Sorry I meant the matcha I had today wasn't from Starbucks. So I know its matchas altogether and not just Starbucks that make me sick.

Oh! Yeah that’s good to know but too bad you can’t have matchas anymore.