Bipolar Check-in #86

Here’s what my allergist said!

“ There are still some labs pending but the food results are back. They are all negative. If you are comfortable given that both skin and blood test are normal I am okay with you introducing these foods at home. If you were hesitant we can still plan to do an observed feed in clinic next month.”

What would you do??

Maybe I'm overeacting. But I don't really feel good right now. And it looks like I have the chicken pox or something. I'm covered in red spots. I just feel a bit under the weather I guess.

Have you had the chicken pox before? Maybe it IS!

Yeah I've had the chicken pox. Idk. Its just some weird shyt.

Maybe you should get it checked out.

Measles is still a thing!

Gah! I got a letter from my new insurance they don’t cover my ambien! I’m just now to a place where I’m sleeping well. Of course it helps that it’s cold.

@Nammu check Access to this page has been denied and www.rxoutreach.com Goodrx looks like it's about $25 with coupon (or much less if you're a gold member) and rxoutreach is $14/30 day $29/90 for the regular one. I forget the ER price and didn't look for it on goodrx

Wow! If I change pharmacies I can get it for $3 !

Do you use any scented soaps- like in the shower or laundry detergent?

Another day, another dollar. Did well at work and made some good money today. Still sleeping way too much but slowly getting back into my routine. Heard that the Invega causes so many bad side effects including over sleepiness and really chronic fatigue, that's why I am feeling what I am feeling. Still upset over my boyfriend, still getting over the heartbreak. Going to be sending out Valentine's Day cards to my friends and family this year, because I don't think it's just a "couple's" holiday. Hope everyone is staying warm, it's supposed to be nice tomorrow!

Just some body wash. My mom looked at it and said it wasn't a big deal.

Blue cross cut me off when i turned 62, they wrote me a nice letter telling me i was too old for it, i might fall and hurt myself. I never could fall asleep before i started taking it, but i feel like it taught me how to fall asleep, as the dr told me to BE IN BED right after taking it, dont eff around brushing teeth or anything. Now honestly i fall asleep to britbox or youtube every night. Either drunk drivers or murderers - follow me for more helpful tips on how to have horrible dreams!

I’m 66 but that’s not why, it’s because it’s not on the formulary.

Yeah, I take my night meds at my bedside. I do everything before getting my water then I have a book to read but usually don’t last too long before I fall asleep. But some nights I can’t fall asleep until 3-4 in the morning, it’s diabolical. My pdoc is always asking me about falls and such.

I fell last year on Lunesta. I stood up out of bed walked a few steps then my feet crossed and I stumbled and fell and hit my leg on this short wooden table at the end of my bed! Bruises but nothing broke.

I had therapy today and the last time I had it was on the 14th. We were both kinda like "when did we last see each other?" I don't really rely on her much. Shes helpful and nice and I know my pdoc would blow a fuse if I wasn't in therapy. But I feel like I'm doing ok on my own.

Working out and eating better legit helps me out along with the med changes.

Hmm, what to share. I've not been on here for quite a few years, life meandered all over, and for the most part, I was in the driver's seat and doing ok. I keep wanting to refer to this place as PC. I recently blew up a friendship (due to some narcissistic advice combined with an episode) with my very dear and close best friend of over a decade and it doesn't seem to be repairable. There are many things to be grateful for in life, and I've needed to pull back in a lot of areas due to being on the edge of an incredibly dark hole which I have no desire to come back from. Scared of myself at the moment, and very aware of my strengths and weaknesses when it comes to keeping an equilibrium. The feeling of human disconnection and lack of purpose has thwacked me in a way I've not felt in many years. Getting help, I'm not getting traction anywhere and, whilst I have been asking for help with medications for over 12 months, this is an acute period for me where I need to withdraw to keep others and myself safe. Paranoia and hallucinations are features I've not experienced to this level in probably a decade. I've a lot of skills when it comes to reframing language and thoughts, so there's a huge battle going on at the moment, allowing these thoughts (actions to an extent) without judging them as bad, whilst knowing I am one situation away from not breathing on the planet. Have you ever convinced yourself that you're ok, you've got this under control, its going to be ok, only to be shocked by thoughts and behavior when circumstances arise that take you by surprise?

Just sitting here contemplating my life. I have so much to be grateful for but sometimes it's so hard to see. I am feeling very lonely tonight and am very aware that I am single again. I just want to be with someone.

Blitter! Welcome back old friend. I’m sorry you are struggling. I too want to call this PC, it’s a struggle to remember the new name.

I'm home to pack and move then I have to go back for the funeral.
like that matters. I don't believe in God so there's no "positive" here. no answer to why, nothing, it's a medical mystery right now. Everything is so ****ed. We move by the end of the week but I need to be there.

So sorry to hear what you're going through, I can't imagine what it must be like. Know there are people who both know you, and don't, who care about you and want you to get through this.

I had to go get blood work done for my kidney doctor on the 30th. I'm hoping I drank enough water. I did drink a lot this morning. I also didn't do my weekly shot so the test would be accurate. Idk if that matters with this doctor or just one of my others.

But I feel good today. I need to do laundry but I don't have any plans.

I am a bit worried about my kidney levels which is why I've been increasing my water and stuff. Hopefully they come back ok.

My pdoc is pretty much saying hes going to fire me if I don't get a job but my therapist said yesterday "you don't have to work. You get social secuirty. But I know how much you want to work." Idk why its my pdocs place to say if I get a job. I thought pdocs were just for med management

I filled out 6 applications with several years of expierence in all of them. Idk why I didn't even get an interview.

Caleb never texted me that he was about to leave so I hope he left on time to get here between 11:30 and 12 like he said.

Things are going okay for me. I've felt stable, but kind of blah. I continue to wish I could take seroquel every day because both my manic symptoms and my depression symptoms got better. It's better to keep it as an "in case of emergency" pill though. My POTs symptoms are acting up, so this is probably at least part of why I'm feeling kind of blah mentally. Despite feeling blah, I've been able to get a good amount done. It helped that the hands on activity my students are doing lasts most of this week plus Monday.

I work at a Catholic school and next week is National Catholic Schools Week so the schedule is a little different for a few activities and there are dress up days all week (different theme each day). Students can choose to participate in these instead of wearing their school uniform. I won't dress up every day because I don't have clothes that fit all of the themes. The kids tend to really like the dress up days.

No plans this weekend. Just getting some grading and lesson planning done, running errands, and taking care of some other to do list items. It sure is nice to feel stable again-it really helps me have the mental stamina to work on what I need to get done.

How do you get rid of post nasal drip that is just clogging the eff out of your throat? I took mucinex an hour ago and I've had water. I'm trying to cough it out. Its freaky.