Bipolar Check-in #87

Mountaindewed · 08:20 PM

I just want to go. Something isnt right. Can sulcrafate cause mental health symptoms. Idk. Maybe I'm just losing my marbles.

I think its just that dumb zofran again causing issues. I guess even 4mg is too much.

I do have some symptoms of serotonin syndrome like extreme agitation and restlessness. But I think I'm ok.

Do they put you in the psych hospital for serotonin syndrome? I knew someone who spent the weekend in the hospital just because she ran out of meds for a few days.

I've seen a couple staff come out of the psych hospital in my town and they do not look nice.

Victoria'smom · Mar 18, 2025, 08:25 PM

@Mountaindewed if you think you should go in please do. I'd rather you be safe than not

Mountaindewed · 09:55 PM

I just don't know if its serotonin syndrome. Like how do you know excatly. I'm all flushed and hot and stuff like that. My hands are sweating too. But maybe its something else. Idk.

Zofran causes a crap ton of mental health symptoms and it interferes with my Geodon. Its best not to take even 4mg.

Then call my primary about the BP med in the morning and ask about the severe fatigue

Now I have the chills

Its like I put my regular blanket I sleep under every night on and I'm really hot. I take it off and I get the chills right away. Wtf.

One guy I saw come out of the psych hospital was this 400 pound 30-40 something year old white dude who looked mean. The second staff I saw looked like Madea without the glasses and was scowling.

Not people I'd want to interact with.

Honestly the guy looks like an a hole staff I had back in treatment in 2010. Anything is possible in this kinda world.

BeyondtheRainbow · Mar 18, 2025, 08:37 PM

@HALLIEBETH87 Go for it! Doing a practicum is a great way to get a step up into a job and you go in knowing how you feel about the job instead of working months and deciding you hate it.

June08 · Mar 18, 2025, 10:09 PM

Boy-these next few months sure are going to put my bipolar meds to the test.

For reasons that have nothing to do with my mood, it has been quite the 24 hours! Yesterday evening, I saw an opening for the apartment complex I've been keeping an eye on for the month I need to move. I called about it today, had a tour, applied, and have already been accepted. The next step is waiting for them to generate/send the lease for me to e-sign. It's for a studio. I feel pretty good about this decision.

Today, I also learned that my ex (who dumped me about a year and a half ago because I have bipolar disorder) is engaged. I'm not surprised. He was pretty eager to get married. It's still kind of weird. Because of some of the things he shared with me while he was breaking up with me, I feel like there are some things she should be warned about but nothing I can do/not my place anyway/he might have changed. To be determined on if my emotions will just move on with their lives when it comes to this news or if there will be some emotions that come up for me to process.

I'm very thankful to have seroquel to help me sleep because there is a lot buzzing in my brain right now. Hopefully, it won't take me long to sleep and I'll be able to stay asleep once I do.

Nammu · Mar 18, 2025, 10:17 PM

Congratulations on your apartment June

Iloveanimals25 · Mar 19, 2025, 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I had a good morning, still in a stable mood. I did pilates, showered, had breakfast, read an hour with the SAD lamp. I drew, only 2 pics today because I was practicing 1 and 2 point perspective which don't come easily to me. But I did draw a decent outline of a hare I plan to color tomorrow (all in the creative corner forum). H repaired my collapsing bookcase last night, so I had to put all the books back this morning, which was a job as it is overstuffed with my new drawing books! I need to get lunch soon and maybe a nap. I can't figure out why I'm so tired these days unless it's allergies; the car was covered with pollen when I drive to grocery pickup on Sunday, and I've noticed some of the bushes planted all over the area that I am allergic to have started blooming. Unfortunately, they bloom at different rates and it can take a month or so before they have all finished blooming. And if I take Claritin, it just shoots my anxiety through the rough, so there's not much to be done about it.

Here's my exciting 2 point perspective pic of a treasure chest (mostly drawn free hand though, I hate using rulers):

Yes, I can't take Claritin either. Nice drawing!

This may be a weird question, but do you have any easy recipes? I don't have a crockpot. But I do have a airfryer, oven intapot and of course microwave. My new caregiver is too afraid of the instapot. I get burnt out on food very easily. What are some meals you make?

Iloveanimals25 · Mar 19, 2025, 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I had a good therapy session. It was intense though we talked about a lot of stuff.

Possible trigger:

such as the sexual assault when I was a child and also my chaotic life growing up with my mentally ill alcoholic mom and being homeless for years of my life

It was a lot, I’m glad I have her as my therapist though she’s really good with trauma.

I'm so sorry you've went through all you have. Very sad. But you are a survivor!

Iloveanimals25 · Mar 19, 2025, 03:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

@Blue_Bird That's rough.

Possible trigger:

I had a sexual assault by an uncle around the time I was 5 and he was always hanging around, even when my aunt divorced him (the joys of small-town life). My mom didn't like him either; she told us never to answer the door to him, pretend we weren't home. He was so creepy. I remember one time he said something when I was like 15 or so like, "Oh, I can tell you are just going to grow up to be so beautiful. It'd be so nice to have you over to my place." My mom was there, and she was livid. She told me immediately to go in the house and work on homework (even though I had finished it all.) Afterwards, she kept an iron pipe behind the front draw, told us if he ever got in, wham him on the knees, he's had surgery on both and the groin too. My mom really did not like him. The actual sexual assault I get flashbacks too but because I was so young I don't know if I can trust the memories or not. At any event, it is all disturbing. After that occasion though, my mom remembered my middle sister and me both crying and begging never to be left alone with that aunt (my mom's older sister, not much of a child's touch to her) & that uncle ever again, and my mom kept her word on that. I know my aunt knows what happens but she claims to have forgotten it all. At any rate, her loser husband worked, why not go to the cops the next day he went into work. I'm not close to that aunt at all.

Sorry for you too!.

Iloveanimals25 · Mar 19, 2025, 03:45 AM

How do you do the trigger icon?

I had a a quiet day. Not much to report. Hope everyone is well.

Scooter9 · Mar 19, 2025, 08:51 AM

The TLDR is this is just an update, nothing new here, still feeling horrible...

I'm so fed up with everything. Things in the world, but also online, with my family etc.

I'm checked out. I don't have the patience or interest to engage with/in almost everything. That includes things like sleeping and eating, both of which have become 'unpleasant', to put it politely.

I thought I had a good feel for depression and how it creeps into everything, but I didn't understand the meaning of 'everything'. I thought feeling low was as far as it would go, but it looks like that's the warm up.

Like I said, eating and sleeping had become unpleasant. Sleeping is no longer a place of refuge, it's just another place for the anxiety and depression to do their thing. I go to bed feeling bad, I feel bad mentally and physically when I try to sleep, and I wake up wondering what else is going to be touched by depression.

My hobbies and things I used to do are no longer interesting.

I'm trying to stop myself from becoming cynical on top of everything else. Gotta hold on to hope somehow right?

So I'm just on Lamictal at this point. I guess I'm getting a preview of what this might be like once I stop that too, but that's after psilocybin in a couple of months.

Mountaindewed · 09:20 AM

The mental health stuff was from the Zofran. I feel better once it got out of my system. I'm still really exhausted even though I slept fine last night. I'm messaging my PCP about my blood pressure med. But the wonky mental health thoughts and feelings I had last night are gone.

I've eaten stuff strictly on my ok list that my dietician gave me. So my stomach is ok too.

unaluna · Mar 19, 2025, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iloveanimals25

How do you do the trigger icon?

I had a a quiet day. Not much to report. Hope everyone is well.

Pull up a box to write in.
Then on the right hand side of the 2nd line of editing symbols, just hit the red circle x.
Then type your stuff between the bracket pairs.

Mountaindewed · Mar 19, 2025, 11:18 AM

I'm trying to get my GI and my PCPs permission to go off my blood pressure med and my stomach med. Then just control everything with carafate and lifestyle changes. Those 2 meds zap me of energy.

I'm hoping to get some aloe for the burn on my face. I'm scared to take a shower because the water will make it burn real badly. I've never gotten a burn from anything before but it has to be on my face when I do get one.

Iloveanimals25 · Mar 19, 2025, 11:46 AM

About the trigger icon. I can't find the red button. Let me see if I can figure it out in this post. OK let's see if that did anything. Lets see if this works[ok trying againTRIGGER][/TRIGGER]

Iloveanimals25 · Mar 19, 2025, 11:47 AM

I don't get it.

BeyondtheRainbow · Mar 19, 2025, 11:51 AM

@Iloveanimals25 you got it. You just put your text in between the two brackets that say trigger.

Blueberrybook · Mar 19, 2025, 12:11 PM

My day has gone pretty well so far. I took a long power walk, showered, read for an hour with the SAD lamp, did laundry, drew 4 pics (some better than others, all in the creative corner).

I can't say the same for H though; he has had recurrent hiccups since yesterday morning. Sometimes they will stop for an hour or two but then they come back. I think they have stopped right now (hopefully permanently, but I can't say). He has tried all the online remedies for stopping hiccups, nothing has worked. I really hope they are gone now. I really wanted to spend together time with H this morning, but that wasn't happening

Nammu · Mar 19, 2025, 12:44 PM

We’re having thunder snow blizzard. I had an eye appointment at 1:50 but the transit vans decided is suspending service. Fortunately there was a spot two weeks out. Usually my doctor is booked months in advance. So now that I don’t have to go out in the blizzard I’m going to go downstairs and play games. A good thing to do in a blizzard!

You wouldn’t know tomorrow is spring from our weather!

Crazy Hitch · Mar 19, 2025, 12:57 PM

I think today will be a good day. I only teach one class. I leave during the day to see my psychologist for an hour so I miss the second class I would be teaching. They’re my really good class so that’s a bugger. When I get back I will have a lot of marking to do because my Year 7s have an assignment due today and I will have 2 classes worth to mark.

LadyShadow · Mar 19, 2025, 02:53 PM

Excellent day even though my back and forth with my emotions were playing up. Got an email today, but I know it would have been challenging if I didn't. I am pushing on though, I am getting up early, making my bed and going out - work has been going good this week too, so I have been able to get out and do things.

Decided to listen to everybody's advice and do more for myself. My disability pays for my gym membership, and I haven't been going at all and its $50 a month. I am going to change all that starting today. Went to buy a combination lock for my gym locker at Walmart since I can't seem to find my other one. Also got into my Audible account and found 5 audiobooks I bought but never listened to, so now I have some material to listen to at the gym rather than just music- it's like the universe is calling out to me!

About to get my gym clothes on and head over there. Also, going to stop by the adoration chapel and spend some time with Jesus before I go - hope everyone is having a great day!

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 19, 2025, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

@HALLIEBETH87 Go for it! Doing a practicum is a great way to get a step up into a job and you go in knowing how you feel about the job instead of working months and deciding you hate it.

I talked to my clinical supervisor today at practicum and she said she would love to have me and that if I want to, I can start out as a mental health tech until I pass my CSW exam and then slip over to being a clinician. I’m not sure how I feel about this, but I told her I would think about it . I told her I most likely need to finish the semester working at the job. I’m at now because it’s a lot to change.

Blueberrybook · Mar 19, 2025, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iloveanimals25

Yes, I can't take Claritin either. Nice drawing!

This may be a weird question, but do you have any easy recipes? I don't have a crockpot. But I do have a airfryer, oven intapot and of course microwave. My new caregiver is too afraid of the instapot. I get burnt out on food very easily. What are some meals you make?

As far as easy recipes, for lunch I like to make pita pizzas, wheat pita, put on pizza sauce, sprinkle with cheese, I use Mexican pre-grated (mini pepperonis if you like, I don't), sprinkle with garlic salt, bake at 350F for 10-11 min.

I also make chicken fajitas a lot: slice one onion, 1 red bell pepper, 1 green bell pepper. I buy the chicken tenders, if you are feeding more than 3-4 people you can do chicken breasts. But the tenders are easy because you devote a pair of regular scissors for chicken use, just snip the tenders into bite sized pieces. I cook the veggies first in olive oil (sometimes adding water to deglaze the pot and keep things from sticking). Then, I cook the chicken in olive oil and when the chicken is cooked, I add fajita seasoning to the chicken (I buy the seasoning in a pouch premeasured for 1 lb. meat) with 1/4 cup of water. Serve with wheat or white tortillas, grated cheese if you like.

Nammu · Mar 19, 2025, 04:55 PM

I definitely draw better in the afternoon. Today it’s dark, no sun but my glass of water turned out well. The sun flower,..eh.

My T was very happy that I’ve taken up drawing. To be sure I was going to shove it off today as it’s a blah day. But thinking about my T being so happy with that,…I did it. I’m pleased I did.

Blueberrybook · Mar 19, 2025, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I definitely draw better in the afternoon. Today it’s dark, no sun but my glass of water turned out well. The sun flower,..eh.

My T was very happy that I’ve taken up drawing. To be sure I was going to shove it off today as it’s a blah day. But thinking about my T being so happy with that,…I did it. I’m pleased I did.

With drawing for me it's always a "results may vary" sort of experience! Like I drew an aweseome stringray today, but my other pictures were...eh. I don't know if I ever did the sunflower. Of course, initially I thought I'd never do a decent stingray...but you don't know until you try! I think the stingray ruined the other pictures for me today; coloring around all those tiny circles is quite a task!

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