Bipolar Check-in #88 (again!)

I had to go out unexpectedly today. But it's much warmer today compared to the past several weeks and it was much easier to breathe outside.

Still tired but at least I could breathe more easily.

My pdoc suggested I take zopiclone and Benadryl together so I tried it last night. It's usually not recommended but I had to do something. I managed to sleep for 7 hours, which is great. And the hangover wasn't too bad either.

I finished my antibiotics today. I'm not sure if I'm ready to go back to the gym this week, I've been off for 3 weeks.

I also gotta go for an EKG and stress test that my doctor ordered a month ago to find out what's going on with the overall weakness I've been experiencing. Being sick sucks - I've had 3, month-long illnesses in the last 6 months.

Does going off ADs give you weird cold like symptoms because of the withdrawels? I'm all congested and I'm coughing but I was pretty much fine yesterday before I went from 50mg down to 25mg

I literally just heard the weird noise outside at midnight. My mom thinks they work late and are trying to fix it.

I'm awake way past bedtime for the 3rd or 4th night in a row. Three of those have required 25 mg of Seroquel on top of my 100 mg gabapentin PRN. Just so anxious......I went to a rally today and it was good in so many ways but didn't help my stress like last time. Last time it felt so good to be in a large group of people sharing values in an extremely red county. This time it did too but it didn't take away my anxiety.


Hopefully I'll get to sleep soon. Hugs to everyone else who is watching a clock and getting frustrated.

Happy easter (and 4/20 ) to those that celebrate.

Happy Easter 🐰.

Happy Easter and 4/20. Remembering those killed at Columbine as well.

I just noticed yesterday that Easter fell on 4/20 lol Ironically enough I had a dream about weed last night

Happy Easter (to those that celebrate)!!

I was looking at music shops a few weeks ago and it said "closed on 4/20" and my thought was "oh, you guys are celebrating the day of the weeds?" I didn't even realize it was the same day until two days ago haha.

Good morning, I’m currently doing laundry. I got a little dressed up for Easter even though I’m not going anywhere or doing anything for the holiday today. I slept good. I’m really tired though now from my morning meds and am trying to stay awake because I have a timer going so I can go change my laundry over to the dryer and I don’t want to fall asleep.

Hope you all are doing well. I’m not up to much today. Just chilling.

I have a cold. I was negative for covid. I'm just congested and coughing a lot and I'm achy and I have a sore throat. At least now I have a legit reason not to go to my sisters.

The med withdrawel seems to be fine.

I got the makings for greek yogurt parfaits, peanut butter banana and honey toast, and more green beans so I can make another batch of lemon feta green beans.

Kinda checked out right now and thinking how much better I'm off then this girl who pretended to be trans for a week and has these giant knockers so she can't even try to pretend.

Just took a shower. I have been putting it off and off and off. Today is the first day of the rest of my life that i start showering regularly. The pool opens in a month or so, and i want to be ready. I have got some layers of dead skin i dont want to leave a trail in the pool! Actually after covid i have become a bit of a germaphobe, i dont know if i will do it. Maybe when it opens in the morning, before it gets all cootied up.

Today is take out my garbage day. Now that i have showered, i pretty much have nothing left to do. The city posted on its website that it will be starting up fire inspections again soon, and that they will be stricter this time around. So i have some work to do. But i feel prepared and not rushed and not overwhelmed. Yet!

My blood sugar is still doing well on my new regimen, which is basically just not being so effing haphazard with my eating and my metformin doses. I googled how metformin works - boy, no wonder the drs dont try to explain it to you - they dont know either!

Today is an amazing day. I was baptized last night and was on top of the world. It was such a special time for me, my mom was there, and she cried. My dad didn't want to go last minute; he is still holding on to his Muslim beliefs which is just fine. I had lots of pictures, meeting with church people and time with Father. He really made me feel special at mass. I was first in line with everything and finally received Communion. It was magical.

Today as I woke up and went to Easter mass, I realized that I am 4 years sober today as well! I forgot that my sober date landed on 4/20. Today was the day I was arrested four years ago, and the last time I took a drink. It's amazing how much has changed since then. What a day for reflection, it has been a weekend I won't forget for the rest of my life. : )

Happy Easter everyone!

Got my bedding set up. Unpacked the modem (haven't plugged it in yet). My mom was hanging around, helping with some stuff, making sure I don't pass out, and she brought me back because she in the middle of laundry, and I wasn't ready to be alone just yet. Probably going to head back in a bit and get some glue traps just to see if there's stuff crawling around. I ordered an interceptor kit (with spray and DE powder) but it'll be a few days before it comes in.


I hate that this happens at a time I'm sleeping and eating so little I have good reason to hallucinate and not know if the "bugs" are real or not.

@Lady Shadow Congratulations on your baptism! It sounds like it was very special and everything you wanted and more. I am glad things went so well. And awesome job being sober for 4 years! I was actually wondering how you had managed with your sobriety during your terrible manic spell, but it sounds like you did fantastic for all that you struggled.

It's been a low keyish Easter around here. I took a power walk this morning, but I don't know, it was a bit of a trudge. Probably because the humidity was up in the mid-80s, it just didn't feel comfortable. Showered, then did last minute Easter egg stuffing for my daughter. I realized I didn't have enough variety of candy for her and had to go to the dreaded Walmart (which is open today). Got some more candy, a few of those more specialized eggs, actually found some mini glow sticks that fit into eggs, not sure how well those will work, but we'll see.

I read with the SAD lamp, my book is pretty good, that's always nice. Got around to coloring my green jay bird but am taking a drawing break otherwise today.

Lunch is ready (pita pizzas, one of my favorites, so super fast. Waiting on my daughter to wake up to hunt eggs. Even though she is 17 we are giving her an in-house egg hunt (plus it's rainy outside now). She is struggling a lot with the concept that she is growing up and leaving childhood behind. I really wish I knew how to make it easier for her.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day, whether you celebrate Easter or not!

@LadyShadow congratulations on 4 years! That's huge! I'm glad your baptism went well. Very special Easter for you indeed!

@LadyShadow Congratulations on receiving your sacraments and on 4 years sobriety!

Happy Easter! To those celebrating, whether alone or with others, I hope it's a nice time.

So far, my day has been pretty low key. I went the early Mass, got a gas station iced coffee as an Easter treat, called my mom, did my vertigo exercises, and have read a bit. And, it's only about 12:30 pm here. I'm not sure what I'll do for the rest of my day. My foot is bothering me so I am taking a break from walking. We'll see-I might go out for another cheap treat later, or just go for a drive to get out a bit.

So far, my mood is stable.

It’s kinda depressing spending the holidays alone. My mom died when I was 22 from leukemia and my father was never in the picture. So the only actual family I have left is my sister and niece and nephew and haven’t heard a word from them today. Not even a happy Easter or a hello. I gave up trying to maintain a relationship with my sister awhile ago because it’s pointless. I put effort into it and she doesn’t care. So it’s just me and my cats. My mom and I always had Easter dinner together when she was alive.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate. Hope it’s a good one.

Monday morning here. It’s a public holiday. Going to see my gp at 10:15am. Have some Wegovy and other things to discuss with her.

Then taking my son to spend his voucher from the Easter bunny because he doesn’t eat Easter eggs.

@BeyondtheRainbow - I'm so sorry about the stress & anxiety you are having along with the sleep trouble. Can you contact your pdoc and ask if it's ok to take the Seroquel nightly or even slightly up the dose? 25 mg is still pretty low, maybe 50 mg would work better, or 25 mg & 12.5 mg? Something like that. Sleep has been the one thing that keeps me most stable of all. It's miserable when you can't sleep. Or you could ask you pdoc if you could take a low dose Seroquel for anxiety in the daytime (around 12.5 mg). Unless you have a prn benzo...if there is any time to use it, now is probably the time!

However, I know if I were in your shoes, I'd be worried too. How long have you been waiting on the review? The orange one is absolutely evil!

@Blue_Bird So sorry you're spending the holidays alone. It is hard, I did it a few times at college, but even then I knew I could have gone to see my parents if I wanted to, and the following year my middle sister moved in with me (she was 1 yr behind me in school, we went to the same university), so I had company. I am so sorry you are missing your mom you and relationship with your sister is fractured. My 2 sisters are really my only 2 friends, I don't know what I'd do without them.

@MuddyBoots Hang in there! At this point, since you've had an exterminator in and have had to do treatment for bedbugs whether or not you're hallucinating them is moot. I'd be thinking I had them even if I no longer did at every little sign if I'd just got through with what you have. I hope you will get a GI referral this week and things might move along quickly for you. I'm glad your mom stayed to help you some though.

@unaluna Glad your blood sugar has been under control. Great work!

@June08 Glad to hear your mood is stable so far. Did you take the Seroquel last night? I can't remember.

My daughter finally got up around 4 PM. That's okay, I took a nap, crashed from 1:30 to 3:45. I usually don't nap, but I was so, so tired. She'll be doing her little hunt soon

I took some nyquil high blood pressure and I fell asleep for half an hour and I feel a lot better. I cleaned up my room and I made a yogurt parfait. I used Fage 0% Greek yogurt and used this organic kinda granola and blackberries and blueberries. I layered it alternating between fruit and yogurt and then granola on the top. I was going to add a bit of honey but I forgot.

I'm feeling it a bit from the decrease in Prestiq but its not that bad. I just decreased it 3 days ago. Yesterday I think was the first full day on just 25mg

I'm going to sweep my room. Its gotten to be kinda a mess lately. Not as bad as my mom has made it out to be though.

@Blue_Bird, I'm so sorry you're alone.